Legends say this foul, baneful creature will find your dwellings at the dead of night. Paying little to no regard to social graces or general good manners, this vicious, insatiable creature is said to trespass unimpeded into its victims' rooms, a remarkable accomplishment considering not even dogs are alert to such an intruder.
Once inside, the creature purportedly forces slumbering victims into drinking vials of a mysterious substance known only tentatively as 'Fantasia'. Once ingested, it takes only 3 hours for the effects to fully take hold. The unsuspecting victim will wake to find themselves a Lalafell...
I would advise everyone to grab it while it's hot, but most of the planet is currently basking in suffocating heat on this fine July, so you may as well pop this issue into the fridge for a few hours before you sit down to flick through it. So turn on your air conditioning (if you don't have AC, run a cold bath and dive in), have a seat and enjoy a leisurely perusal through Final Fantasy Forums' third Mogazine issue and hope the mosquitoes can stay away for at least half an hour.
Final Fantasy VII Remake may currently only be announced for the PlayStation 4 with an expected release date of 3 March 2020, but Square Enix have more or less confirmed that it will not remain on a single console. Company president and CEO Yosuke Matsuda candidly spoke that the remake is expressly developed to support both the current generation of consoles and the generation to follow, which invariably includes the PlayStation 5.
All major conferences for this year's E3 have wrapped up and amidst the dying fervour, the dust begins to quietly settle. Of Square Enix's showings, Final Fantasy VII Remake certainly garnered the brunt of the attention, but we would be remiss to leave out a catalogue of other announcements and games that were showed off over the course of the last couple of days. So let this article be a useful primer of information on everything else from Marvel's Avengers to the anticipated Final Fantasy VIII Remastered.
Someone dragged Yoshinori Kitase and Tetsuya Nomura from bed and flew them over to Los Angeles, as both senior figures clamoured onto the stage at Square Enix's E3 conference to lift the lid on the anticipated Final Fantasy VII Remake. The most notable pieces of news concern the confirmation that the remake will indeed be split into multiple parts; the story and content of Midgar will be expanded to such an extent that the first installment of the remake will be entirely comprised of Midgar, filling up two Blu-Ray discs worth of content. Part 1 will release on 3rd March 2020 in what already looks like a packed first quarter for games.
Having avoided the public light since 2015 like the world's deftest ninja, the spotlight is about to shine on Final Fantasy VII Remake this year. Kicking off is a short teaser trailer for the game broadcasted in Sony's State of Play stream. We have a more thorough look at Barret, Biggs, Wedge, Cloud and of course, we welcome Aerith to the team. The teaser trailer ends with the words: "more to come in June".
The Paris Fanfest for Final Fantasy XIV is in town and with it another keynote to outline the content that can be expected for the MMORPG's third expansion, Shadowbringers, not to be confused with Stormblood when abbreviated, because...wait, why have they done that? That just adds unnecessary confusion...
The first key point is the expansion will be available on the 2nd July this year. If you pre-order from the 6th February, you can participate in the expansion's early access period from the 28th June, providing the servers do not buckle the moment everyone attempts to queue in.
The end of 2018 has snuck up on us all, marking the dawn of another new year. No doubt you are currently transfixed by the fireworks celebrations and the general New Year festivities, but what better way to genuinely celebrate the planet completing another successful solar orbit than by flicking through a particularly festive, winter-themed Issue 2? It will be a hoot, I promise you that. And don't worry, despite the given name of our magazine, no trees were actually harmed in the making of this issue.
The Final Fantasy XIV Fanfest is back in town - in Las Vegas at least - and naturally it's time for Yoshi-P to face an adoring crowd to announce that Final Fantasy XIV Immortal will be released for mobile devi [checks script] no, that didn't happen. They announced the MMO's third expansion, FFXIV 5.0 Shadowbringers. This expansion will follow the usual two-year rule set by the previous two expansions, so expect an approximate release window of June 2019.
Square Enix held a special livestream dedicated to Final Fantasy XV, now near its second anniversary. Fans of the game in time zones during slightly less antisocial hours of the day tuned in with fervent attention to see how the promised second season pass and the accompanying four DLC episodes of the game were shaping up. Things were looking good going into the event from the public's perspective. Chief antagonist Ardyn was about to take the spotlight with his own DLC episode, followed by an Aranea side story and two extra episodes dedicated to Lunafreya and Noctis. What could possibly go wrong?
We are gathered here today to mourn and celebrate the life of Herman, a gallant and noble feline, whom was cruelly taken from us in his prime. Though we have not been with Herman for long, his infectious, joyous spirit will always linger in the air and remain permanently affixed to our hearts.
sAvaGE gIAnT fEliNe tHrEaTEnS tErriFIeD yOuNg wOmAn
And we're back after a seemingly endless two-month period of absence. Good lord, was it an eventful last two months. We truly copped an earful from the broadcasting studio for that last episode. I in particular was carted in front of the studio head, who spent the next hour or so berating me about the "crass, completely inappropriate content" I was putting out, because an episode all about an obese blue woman sleeping with multiple men and birthing a pair of hellspawn is ostensibly not what they want children to see. Exactly why any child would be watching at all is beyond me, because we all know children are too busy hurling racial abuse while playing multiplayer matches of FIFA or Fortnite.
It is almost time to close off the Xehanort saga once and for all. As promised, the full Tokyo Game Show trailer for Kingdom Hearts III is available and grants us an expanded look into the world of Big Hero 6 and the film's protagonists you will be fighting with, from Hiro to Go Go to Baymax. Also revealed is the official boxart for the game, which covers the entire ensemble cast of heroes spanning from across the entirety of the franchise thus far.
Square-Enix want to make it up to Nintendo console fans. For too long they've been starved of Final Fantasy releases and with the exploding popularity of the Nintendo Switch and the very recent success of Octopath Traveler, perhaps now is the time to once again bless Nintendo with a considerable catalogue of ports. These range from core mainline entries to a few lesser known spin-off titles.
Does anyone remember The Last Remnant? It released in 2008 exclusively for the Xbox 360 (and PC shortly after) and was one of the very few HD JRPGs actually released by Square Enix during the previous generation. While the game is now no longer available on Steam, a remastered version for PlayStation 4 was announced and is scheduled to release digitally on the 6th of December this year in western territories.
Fans of the Tales of series may already know that long time series producer, Hideo Baba, left Bandai Namco following Tales of Zestiria to found and lead a new development studio under Square Enix's wing. The new Studio Istolia is currently working on a brand new original fantasy RPG tentatively titled Project Prelude Rune for the PlayStation 4 and as of this year's Tokyo Game Show, finally demonstrated a short sample of what the game and its main protagonist will look like.
For those of you unaware, Left Alive is a survival action shooter worked on by veteran leads such as Toshifumi Nabeshima (of Armored Core fame); Takayuki Yanase, who designed many mechs over the years, such as the ones in Mobile Suit Gundam 00 and Ghost in the Shell: Arise; and Yoji Shinkawa, whose distinctive artwork is recognised by many a fan of the Metal Gear Solid games. It serves as a spiritual successor to the Front Mission games, exchanging tactical RPG gameplay for a tactical shooter affair.
Does anyone remember Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles? It was a primarily multiplayer-based spinoff cult classic for the Nintendo Gamecube. Due to technological limitations at the time that required the need for four wired Game Boy Advances to hook to the console for that 4-player experience, the game was lost to time until now. With the era of ubiquitous online multiplayer gaming, Square Enix are bringing this multiplayer spinoff back with a remastered version, for both PS4 and the Nintendo Switch.
Though we have known for a while that Big Hero 6 will be one of the playable worlds in Kingdom Hearts III along with fellow newcomers such as Tangled, Toy Story, Monsters Inc and Frozen, we've yet to actually see any footage of this world until now. With the Tokyo Game Show just around the corner, Square Enix Japan have released a new short teaser trailer. In it we are introduced to Hiro and Baymax of the film, other characters in the game's other worlds and of course, the overarching villains of the entire franchise.
"My very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba."
Readers may remember I read out reprinted an email from a lovely man named Ben Dover last week. He wrote to complain about the conspicuous lack of hugs, kisses and sex on our show. When he accosted me on the street, I calmly explained to Mr Dover this is a family-friendly web programme as we don't want to risk those impressionable kids taking a break from playing Fortnite for just two minutes to watch our content and walk away with the wrong idea. Mr Dover looked furious and I was convinced he was priming to swing a knuckle sandwich in my direction, so I responded by curling into a foetal position and sobbing. Mr Dover just looked understandably baffled.
Believe it or not, we do get emails and social media messages about our Sims show. Ideally feedback and messages of either joy or outrage reach Mitsuki first and foremost, but I've disgracefully also been granted the job of reading and replying to all our fans. What do I look like? A PR representative with actual experience in the field? But we'll worry about that in a moment. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to yet another installment of our virtual circus, where we put ourselves in the world of The Sims 4 and see which of us is first to end up on the Grim Reaper's list.