The end of 2018 has snuck up on us all, marking the dawn of another new year. No doubt you are currently transfixed by the fireworks celebrations and the general New Year festivities, but what better way to genuinely celebrate the planet completing another successful solar orbit than by flicking through a particularly festive, winter-themed Issue 2? It will be a hoot, I promise you that. And don't worry, despite the given name of our magazine, no trees were actually harmed in the making of this issue.
We are gathered here today to mourn and celebrate the life of Herman, a gallant and noble feline, whom was cruelly taken from us in his prime. Though we have not been with Herman for long, his infectious, joyous spirit will always linger in the air and remain permanently affixed to our hearts.
sAvaGE gIAnT fEliNe tHrEaTEnS tErriFIeD yOuNg wOmAn
And we're back after a seemingly endless two-month period of absence. Good lord, was it an eventful last two months. We truly copped an earful from the broadcasting studio for that last episode. I in particular was carted in front of the studio head, who spent the next hour or so berating me about the "crass, completely inappropriate content" I was putting out, because an episode all about an obese blue woman sleeping with multiple men and birthing a pair of hellspawn is ostensibly not what they want children to see. Exactly why any child would be watching at all is beyond me, because we all know children are too busy hurling racial abuse while playing multiplayer matches of FIFA or Fortnite.
The Nibelheim Incident is a fan-written Final Fantasy VII novella by Scottish author M.J. Gallagher. Accompanied with captivating illustrations by Crimson Sun and a stunning cover by AJ Hateley, the story of arguably the most important scene in the Final Fantasy franchise is creatively retold. The Nibelheim Incident is a behemoth undertaking (comprised of over 200 pages). Presented in conjunction with KupoCon, attendees at ‘Pomathon’ (Birmingham, 8th September 2018) received digital and limited print copies of the book.
"My very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba."
Readers may remember I read out reprinted an email from a lovely man named Ben Dover last week. He wrote to complain about the conspicuous lack of hugs, kisses and sex on our show. When he accosted me on the street, I calmly explained to Mr Dover this is a family-friendly web programme as we don't want to risk those impressionable kids taking a break from playing Fortnite for just two minutes to watch our content and walk away with the wrong idea. Mr Dover looked furious and I was convinced he was priming to swing a knuckle sandwich in my direction, so I responded by curling into a foetal position and sobbing. Mr Dover just looked understandably baffled.
Believe it or not, we do get emails and social media messages about our Sims show. Ideally feedback and messages of either joy or outrage reach Mitsuki first and foremost, but I've disgracefully also been granted the job of reading and replying to all our fans. What do I look like? A PR representative with actual experience in the field? But we'll worry about that in a moment. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to yet another installment of our virtual circus, where we put ourselves in the world of The Sims 4 and see which of us is first to end up on the Grim Reaper's list.
This fire is out of control, I'm gonna burn this teddy, burn this teddy...
Woo! The weekend beckons and as usual we are back with the third installment of our elaborate social experiment. If you've already experienced the action in the preceding two episodes, you know the drill by now. One adult, with assistance from another adult in designing these death traps you call affluent Californian homes, spends up to an hour of her time streaming a load of inane madness on Twitch while an audience of more adults drop what they're doing and inexplicably decide to watch. Another adult, perhaps the most daftest of them all, decides to closely chronicle the lives of these virtual mental patients housemates and see what we as a society can learn from their trials and tribulations.
Welcome back to another installment of FFF Sims Lifestream, as narrated by yours truly, and streamed & directed by the same anonymous Californian resident from before. If you have just joined us, this is a special site feature where we run a social experiment using hapless virtual guinea pigs to see what happens when you re-enact Love Island or Big Brother or any similar reality TV show but with considerably more intelligent contestants.
If this isn't considered cannibalism, then we have collectively failed as a society.
Welcome to FFF Sims Lifestream, brought to you by a semi-regular Twitch stream and from an inconspicuous Californian home. The FFF Sims Lifestream is an auspicious social experiment using EA's The Sims 4 to see what fresh, fascinating new insights can be gained pertaining to the human condition, though personally I believe it will simply be an ominous confirmation of the fact that the human race is a mistake.
Welcome to a very special Birthweek event celebration!
We are pleased to announce that as a part of the magazine release, the recent Xenforo 2 launch, and Birthweek event, we wish to extend a one time giveaway that will be exclusive to Final Fantasy Forums members with 100+ posts!
Live streams are back on, better than ever! Streams is a popular feature for Xenforo 2, recently purchased from our owner, Lord Golbez. With this ability to record and broadcast in real time, we hope to encourage our members (and gamers) to continue exploring FFF and use our platform to keep members informed of their channels and any updates.
A little over a week ago the KupoCon event in London (named Mind the Pom) proved to be a huge success.
I figured that a write-up of the experience is very important as I truly believe that every Final Fantasy fan needs to seriously consider letting KupoCon into their lives.
If for some reason you still aren’t sure what KupoCon is by now then check out the main thread (here), and the KupoCon website (here).
To be brief, KupoCon is an unofficial Final Fantasy fan gathering and not a convention in a conventional sense. At Mind the Pom there were artist and fan merchandise stalls, magnificent cosplayers, and there were special guests. Other than that KupoCon was self-aware that it was more of a Final Fantasy themed party than a standard convention… And it was great!