Let's talk about family...

[Mermaid]

Do you ever see yourself starting your own, getting married and having children?


I seriously do. I love kids and would like one of my own someday, however my fiance and I aren't very stable financially meaning we are waiting for a good few more years perhaps. My fiance also wants children, but feels it is best to wait.

How about you guys? Children or child free? Married or single/fling life forever? I am so nosey so I was just wondering.

 

[Jasmine You]

The boyfriend and I are very unlike to want a child. I know right now I don't want one and he doesn't like them so I am guessing that it just means no children for us. Even if we wanted a child, we'd have to either have a surrogate mother or adopt one and for whatever reason....we don't think that's possible or very easy to do in the State we are currently in. We can't even get married here but that's okay, I don't think we need to get married at all; we're happy how we are.

 

[Martel]

Gods, no. I'd make a terrible parent; I have very little patience for children that aren't my own, let alone having one or more myself. One thing I am absolutely closed off to is the possibility of having children. I'm pretty good with looking after kids (read: keeping them quiet) but I don't find looking after or putting up with them remotely fulfilling...just mentally draining. I couldn't cope with being a parent.

As for getting married...well, I can't ever seeing myself being anything other than single, let alone getting married. I don't think I'm a relationship person; I get along well with most people, but this is in short bursts of contact. I don't think being with someone in that way would suit me. I'm not closed off to the possibility, but I'm not going to actively seek someone out, and I'm not fussed by it.

 

[Izanagi]

I would love to have kids of my own, preferably 3 daughters and 2 boys. But if it comes down to a family, I would guess that 3 daughters would suffice for me. I'm not really the most likable guy out here as I'm overly friendly sometimes. :B


I don't see myself being that family man I wanted to be just yet nor does fate or whatever force out there want me to be in one right now. But the thought of starting a family when I'm able to, makes me sort of happy at times.

 

[Mermaid]

Iron Man, I know what you mean. My body is super broody over kids however I don't mentally want my own completely just yet, plus I'm not in the best situation to start one of my own. I do hope to someday at some point though, preferably with more life experience under my belt.

Sheikah, fair enough. I'm glad to hear you are happy

The Nutcracker, lol that's what I used to be like when I was younger... I don't even know what has changed. xD Children do annoy me sometimes, however I do sometimes wish for one of my own at some point. I'm not even amazingly good with children, so I don't know why xD

 

[Dionysos]

My immediate response would be yes. I was brought up on those happy family ideals. Get a wife, have children, be nice and warm and live happily. I know that the reality is nothing like that, but I don't see harm in at least attempting to reach that. That was my upbringing, which will have no doubt influenced my current views and standing.

I don't, however, see it at all likely at this time or in the near future, if even at all. Logically speaking. I've not even entered the relationship market (? - whatever one would call it) at all, and I'm getting on a bit now. Odd? Perhaps. Very odd and freaky, and noteworthy of concern and you should forever keep your distance from this strange and creepy man? Not at all. I'm a human being and posses similar desires to other human beings; I just don't tweet them everywhere. I'm difficult to get to know, and have difficulties in expressing myself. That's all.

So for me I have only really known single life, but I must also add that I do not 'fling' either since it conflicts with my inner morals and what I've considered right for me. If I ever did I do not think that I would be happy with myself at all. I'd be yielding and insulting myself and everything that I used to believe. There's also the fact that even if I was fine with that, I'm not the sort of person that people have flings with.

I'm finding it much easier to talk to people these days than I had a year or two ago, but it is only certain people, and certain situations. I see people in the day and where I go and what I do, but at the end of the day we all go home to our own lives. It's still a mystery to me how people even meet each other in a relationship sense, or whatever possesses them to ask people certain things, or what it is that people say to each other. I never went to relationship-school so I don't know these things. As such, I must continue to go on with life and just assume this business to be something that other people do, like many things on Earth, until the day occurs when it might happen for me.

As for children, they'd come later. I'm not against the idea of completing the happy post-card image of a family all grinning and joyful. I'm not too keen on all the negative aspects of keeping children, however... And the cost also. Which I guess is another reason why having a wife and child RIGHT THIS MOMENT is a very bad idea even if this was granted to me by a deity who regards me as a personal favourite.

 

[Rapture]

I do plan on getting married someday and having kids. With school and everything I'm not out looking to meet anyone, but I will when I graduate in May and get boards out of the way...and get my career stabilized.

As far as how many kids...I'm not out to be like Michelle Duggar I'm a patient person but I can't see myself having any more than 2. I'd love one of each...but as long as they are healthy I really don't care. When you work in the profession I do you realize kids are expensive....and they are work. People think labor is bad, but that's really just the beginning of it. Its the 18 years afterwards that the fun really begins I know it'll be worth it though. I'd love a little mini me that I can dress in cute little sundresses and go shopping with someday <3

 

[Toshiya]

I will most definitely want to settle down and get married some day, but only once I've been through university and secured a job etc.
I'm really really really not sure about kids though. I hate children, I have absolutely no patience for them whatsoever and the thought of giving birth really, really doesn't appeal to me either.
I guess if I ever settle down with someone who wants kids I'll think about it maybe in a good few years time my patience with children would have got better and I'll want to have my own. Not looking likely right now though.

As for right now in my life, I'm not interested in anything majorly serious, since in 9 months time I'll be off to uni. Not to say I'm not interested in anything, just that I'm not going to find a bloke any time soon and decide that I want to spend the rest of my life with him

 

[Squid]

I've been saying since forever that i will never get married, I don't see the point in it, I don't like the idea of a wedding and how much they cost, I don't need to be the centre of attention for one day in front of a bunch of people just to say I am going to be with this particular man forever. I think the idea of a wedding is dumb, why can't I be with this man forever without getting married?

So for that reason I will not do it, though I have said, if I really care for the person and he really insists on getting married I probably would do it for him.

I am unsure about the chillen's though. I hate kids, I HATE THEM like you wouldn't believe, they're nasty little shits whose sole purpose is to piss off as many people around them as possible... (that is definitely their purpose) but sometimes I think if I were to ever have an accident child I'd raise it to be awesome, I kind of like the idea of having a mini me that I can mold into what I like, but then I think every parent probably thought that and look how their little monsters turned out.

If I was to have a kid though I would have two because I do not like the spoiled only child, sorry to any only children reading this.

So for now i am anti marriage and mostly anti chilluns.

 

[Lirael]

I've said for years that I'm not too fussed about marriage and that if I do get married - I suppose I do like the idea of calling the love of my life my 'husband'! - I won't have a white wedding.

I just don't want to spend so much money on one day. I don't need a lot of people or a banquet for the day to be special. I don't need a new dress! All I need is the person I love, their close family, my close family, and MAYBE a couple of friends (though once we enter into the relm of friends, it can spiral out of hand!)

I'd rather put the money towards a house or perhaps a trip somewhere amazing like America, Australia, New Zealand, Italy, Greece or Japan - hey, why not a road trip through America or Europe? However, only if we already have the house sorted!

When it comes to kids...I'd like to adopt. I really REALLY don't want to be pregnant. I'd gain weight. It sounds vain, but I've been 2 stone heavier before and I felt so unhappy and self-conscious. I worked very hard to get to a weight at which I am happy and I don't want to reverse that. I really like kids, but I know the negative affect of gaining weight would be too great for me.

Furthermore, there are so many kids already born who need love and a safe home. I'd rather save one of them! Family is about how you feel more than it is about blood. I don't need a son or daughter whose related by blood.

I'm not sure whether I'd rather have a son or daughter...

 

[Big Casino]

I imagine i will one day. Its inevitable for most people i suppose. I dont particularly want kids though for a very long time. If im ever a parent il be an old one. I want to live a good fun life for many more years til i even consider children.
I dont have much opinion on marraige right now. Mainly because i have never met anyone i would even consider getting engaged to. It seems somewhat pointless to me anyway.

 

[Kandy-Sugar]

I'd rather put the money towards a house or perhaps a trip somewhere amazing like America, Australia, New Zealand, Italy, Greece or Japan - hey, why not a road trip through America or Europe? However, only if we already have the house sorted!

This is exactly how Steve and I feel.

Getting married is the last thing on our to do list. I would like to be married before having kids because I do like to be a bit traditional, but I don't want kids for a good 10 years or so anyway.

I'd much rather have a house and a good few holidays then splurge on a day that isn't all that important. I want to feel secure and accomplished before getting married. That way when I do get married it will be more like a celebration of how far we've come yadda yadda yadda.

When it comes to kids...I'd like to adopt. I really REALLY don't want to be pregnant. I'd gain weight.

Ugh I'm much the same. I really do want my own flesh and blood baby but at the same time I really really can not picture myself giving birth. I'm too little to have a baby. I can't think of anything worse I could do to my body. =/

So yes I will more than likely marry one day, but I still don't know how we'll go about the kids part. There will be children but I don't know how they will come about. XD Adoption, my own? I have ten years to think about it.

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

i know that if i was with the right girl, i'd be well up for marriage. it's not really something right on top of my list of priorities right now, but i'd like to one day. i think mostly because it's a common tradition, and most people are raised being told that when you grow up, you settle down and get married.

as for kids, i wasn't bothered at all until about a year ago. i've never been a big fan of small screaming children but then again who is. i worked with young children on a couple of projects at uni though last year, and i completely changed my mind on it. i think part of the reason i've never been bothered is because i've always been the youngest in my family, so i've never been around babies at all so it was sort of an alien thing to me.
i've also got a 2 month old nephew now, and that's sort of brought out my paternal side.

 

[Ilyena]

Ugh I'm much the same. I really do want my own flesh and blood baby but at the same time I really really can not picture myself giving birth. I'm too little to have a baby. I can't think of anything worse I could do to my body. =/

My sister was 105 pounds when she got pregnant. Her baby is healthy and so is she. My boyfriend's mother was 100 pounds when she got pregnant and she had a healthy pregnancy. Gaining weight is normal during pregnancy and the weight can be lost. It really wouldn't be the end of the world.

As for me, I'm looking forward to marriage and children. My boyfriend and I have talked about it. When I was younger, I thought I'd never want to settle down and have a family but I've started to like the idea. I only want two or three children though. I come from a large family (12 siblings) and I certainly can't see myself having that many.

 

[Free Flyer]

Getting married is now obviously a yes since I just got engaged, but I don't think I'll ever have kids. I love kids and all, but since I plan on making my career in the military, I don't think it's fair to them or, to be honest, even my future husband. If God forbid something were to happen, it'd be hard on them, and I know as a kid I would've been devastated if something happened to my Mom. And by the time I retired, I'd be past the best child-bearing years anyway. I guess I might adopt after that, but I'm really not to focused on that far in the future right now.

 

[Irihi]

Well in all honesty I am married and have an eight month old son. My husband and I discussed marriage before when we were just dating and got married just 13 days before our son was born we've never been happier.

I know it sounds like we might have gotten married because we were going to have a baby but that was not the case at all. Way before our son was even conceived we had already planned on getting married at a certain time, then our little Chase came about and everything seemed perfect for us.

I did marry young however, I'm only 21 and they say young marriages are hard to maintain because its not the appropriate age to supposedly marry because you always want to go out and have fun, I'd like to say thats not true my husband and I still go out from time to time and enjoy things TOGETHER.

=D

 

[Richard B Riddick]

I can't think of anyone I would want to marry or have kids with. I think the vast majority of people aren't raised or brought up in a way that would allow them to be good parents. They don't have the right personality or mentality for it, imo. They do it for the wrong reasons. They don't realize how much time & effort it takes.

For myself, I would like to have kids someday. When your life ends there's nothing left of you. But, having kids, in a way is like there being a part of you that lives on and survives after you're gone. Having kids may well be the closest any of us come to immortality. Sometimes, if you look at someones parents you realize their kids are exactly like them. They just don't realize the similarities.

I guess, the key is to do it for the right reasons, with the right person & be someone who can have kids and make it a positive thing as opposed to negative...

For myself, if I have kids I'll want them to make their own decisions but have a basis that'll allow them to have something solid to fall back on. Let's face it socialized, government run, public school, education is completely useless. The entire reason it exists is to fill your head with useless information & waste all your time until you hit 18, so that you have no choice but to enter the job market and become a slave to the system.

If you have kids, the way you do it is you start teaching them things at a young age. How to handle money responsibly. How to try new things and come up with ways to beat the system so they don't have to kill themselves working 2 jobs trying to afford a house & send their kids to college.

That way even if they decide to become a comedian or artist, they'll always have something to fall back on.

People who just sit back and think school is going to teach their kids anything useful are living in lala land. Obedience. Not questioning authority. Closed mindedness. There may well be a lot of negative qualities schools indoctrinate into people at a young age. And, I don't necessarily thing the dismal academic performance is an accident.... Yadda, yadda.

 

[Ethics]

This is really a subject where I don't make sense at all with most people, I think, mostly because I rant in loops and can't seem to focus my thoughts on the subject into a normal (or understandable) explanation.

Years ago I wanted neither marriage nor kids, but then again, I was still a teen. I felt like I was too young and just not mentally ready to have that burden yet. I think around the time I was in the general area of 20 I finally settled on wanting both in the future. Not at the same time, of course, but over time.

Marriage I agreed with first, as Toni said I always thought why would I need to marry them just to be with them forever? That's a stupid reason to get married. It really is. However, if I get married now it's for the sole purpose of legal, undeniable proof of our togetherness. While taking off a wedding ring isn't difficult, being divorced is. However, I agreed with marriage because the idea of children was also becoming fathomable for me.

Having a child, I'd want them to feel normal and secure in their home, and having married parents is a good way to kick that off. If the marriage isn't for me, it's for my child and their well being and one day that'll be more important than me and my "Well dat's a stoopid raisin to b marreed, duuurrrrr". While the thought of children used to sicken me, thinking on it now really stirs something in my chest that I like to think and ponder on the possibilities.

I know I made a lot of mistakes in the past that I don't really think I can ever change or make up, but I have a lot more to offer than I've given in the past, and hopefully my kid will have even more to offer than I. Also, no, that's not me thinking a kid is a good way of redemption, but I just don't think that the mistakes I've made should just be flushed. The silver lining of my situation can be gathered, applied and carried on by someone who I hope will be better than I am in all forms of the word (as all parents do).

The essential idea here I guess is really evolution...or would it be invention? I'm not really sure with this kinda situation. The problems that I encountered as a kid should be more easily resolved by my kid who is better equipped to handle the world than I am (or was). Naturally this also comes from the mothers side of the equation, but I can only speak for myself and what I can offer. I can birth the child myself, so in reality the only right thing I can offer is a decent grasp of the world they'd need for building their future, even long after I'm gone. Naturally, I hope that's something they'll feel as well and will pass our combined knowledge to my grandkids.

 

[AerithG]

Yes, I definitely want to get married and have children. I'm sort of engaged, but not officially (I know, sounds pretty lame). My boyfriend of two years proposed to me (no ring, and no parent's approval). I guess it's just something to keep in mind, though. We've talked about it and such, so eh! Besides, we're not even going to be thinking of a marriage date until I'm out of college and he has a pretty stable income (and possibly going back to college). As for children, that definitely won't be until I'm out of school, with a steady income, a nice home, and the other necessities needed for a child. I'll also probably wait a bit before having children simply so I can have time for my husband and I that we won't be able to have very much with children running around. I definitely won't have over two children. I just don't think I could handle it, and it just seems a bit overbearing.

 

[Mermaid]

Yes, I definitely want to get married and have children. I'm sort of engaged, but not officially (I know, sounds pretty lame). My boyfriend of two years proposed to me (no ring, and no parent's approval). I guess it's just something to keep in mind, though. We've talked about it and such, so eh! Besides, we're not even going to be thinking of a marriage date until I'm out of college and he has a pretty stable income (and possibly going back to college). As for children, that definitely won't be until I'm out of school, with a steady income, a nice home, and the other necessities needed for a child. I'll also probably wait a bit before having children simply so I can have time for my husband and I that we won't be able to have very much with children running around. I definitely won't have over two children. I just don't think I could handle it, and it just seems a bit overbearing.

Your situation sounds a lot like mine, Aerith. I am sort of engaged right now, and I couldn't ever have more than two, haha. Congrats on the sort of engagement though.