First impressions the wrong impression

[Big Casino]

This thread idea came from a conversation i had earlier with a mate.
They always say first impressions are important. Its what we judge people by but im not talking looks. You can say all you like how you wont judge a person without getting to know them but everyone does it.
Have you ever had a brief encounter with someone and completely misjudged them? You maybe thought they were egotistical and full of themselves. Then once you get to know them you find out theyre the total opposite? The same will work in reverse aswell. Someone can appear to be nice and they turn out to be a complete bam.
Its funny how you can think someone is a complete arse and the mere thought of them gets your blood boiling. Then you sit down and have a conversation and suddenly youv done a complete 180.

Thoughts?

 

[Lirael]

I will always try and look past my initial judgments of people. I think everyone makes them, yes, but not everyone realises that the instinctual feelings we get when we see someone new aren't always or entirely correct.

When I first met one guy at Uni, I thought he looked like an aggressive alcoholic. I thought he'd be brutish and nasty and tried to avoid him. However, we were put together in a group. In the end, he turned out to be pretty nice and we got along well. Having said that, we would often discuss our lives away from Uni and he did admit to treating his girlfriends like crap, sleeping in his car for several weeks, and drinking a lot, so I guess my initial impression wasn't entirely wrong...

 

[Martel]

I typically find that this happens to me more online than it does in real life. I'll see what people have said, and think that I probably won't get along with them, or that they wouldn't want to talk to me at all, and then I've had an actual conversation with them and we've gotten along fairly well...or at least I think we have.

In real life, this isn't something that really happens to me any more. My first impressions of people are usually accurate, although a few people have turned around and surprised me by being complete cunts about something over the last couple of years. Although these are people I've known for years who have just changed over time to the point where we don't really have any need or desire to continue associating with one another.

Ultimately I don't think first impressions matter too much, because a lot of people are subconsciously trying to make a good first impression when you meet them, so of course the impression you get may or may not be accurate; this is particularly true of the internet, where you could be talking to just about anyone. A lot of the time it's fairly easy to tell what someone is like in general from when you first meet them, but there is always going to be something you're not going to see that first time around.

 

[Marquis of Granby]

hmmmm. i used to be quite a bit more judgemental than i am now but i cant think of an instance where i've met someone and thought they were an utter arsehole then realised they werent later on. i have met a few people who ive thought were utter arseholes but ive never had the chance to sit down and decide whether my initial impression was wrong or not. and i probly wouldnt have the patience because they were arseholes

i definitely think im guilty of giving the wrong impression. i've been told by a few folk they thought i was an arsehole when they first met me or at least they werent quite sure how to take me. but thats just the way i am im a nice guy really when you get to know me

my judgements tend to be quite minor. when i first met lewis i thought he was way too cool to be my friend, turns out hes geekier than i am. in fact i thought the same about daz (my mate from uni). we went to college together but we never really spoke. i thought he was too cool to be my pal (this seems quite a common thing for me to think) but he's a geeky bastard. he told me he thought i was a nerd in college but not because i did nerdy things or looked particularly nerdy "just because" he said. but according to him im "pretty cool"

i think i maybe went off topic a wee bit so to sum up my first impressions have been wrong at times but never to the point that i thought someone was an arsehole and then totally changed my mind

ps: even tho lewis is a geek hes my best pal !

 

[Rapture]

I've been yelled at before by a friend when I was in High school for doing this. She said "You really need to stop doing that. You could be writing off some of your best friends in this life." After that I made it a conscious point to stop judging a book by its cover.

We all have our bad days, and just think if someone happens upon you while you are having one. You are cranky, upset, possibly not the best looking that you can be...and someone judges you by that and immediately writes you off because of that first impression. They say it takes 3 seconds to make that first impression...and at least a week to erase it in your mind if it was a bad one

I try not to judge people by that. Its hard, I know. We all want to. ...and it is so easy...but like my friend said, give people a chance. It could be you've just happened upon someone on a bad day or who knows. You could really be missing out on the friend of a lifetime. ...or not

 

[Squid]

I judge everyone.
It's a bad thing to do, I know it, but i don't really care, it's how I am. I usually judge everyone negatively the first time I meet them. Sometimes they deserve it and sometimes they don't, though the good thing about judging people badly every time is if they're nice and an awesome person they'll usually end up changing my mind and I'll be pleasantly surprised. If I judged them badly and they end up being an asshole well then no loss.

Not many people have told me what their first impression was of me, so I am not sure how I come across, I honestly think I come across differently to different people, sometimes I'm a bit shy and other times I am very loud, just depends on the person I am meeting for the first time. If they're a quiet son of a gun then I'll probably be quiet too.

An example of someone I met and thought was a total asshole was with my best friend Tania. We met in year 8 of highschool (we were about 13 yrs old) and I though she was the most arrogant self centred bitch I ever met. (To be fair she was very arrogant) We hated each other for 3 years and now we're the best of friends and she's actually a very sweet and funny girl

Another example is someone on the forums I wrote off as a self centred ass who I wanted nothing to do with. But he persisted and now I think we're pretty good mates and he's definitely not an ass or self centred

Judging people first off is dumb but ehh

 

[Kandy-Sugar]

I'm very judgemental and my mum always says I am. So does Steve but I'm very paranoid. My paranoia came about after I used to be someone who didn't care about the people I hung around, which then lead to horrible things happening very early in life and now when I see certain people who don't look like they'd be the best person to hang around I immediately don't want anything to do with them.

To be fair the people that Steve or my friends have befriended that I think look dodgy or whatever at first sight, they have always turned out to be just that. Dodgy.

I'm always the one saying how they should have listened to me (after said dodgy person screws them over) and how the hell could they even think they were decent people when they look the way they do etc etc.

I'm sure there are people out there that dress or act in a way that I think is dodgy, feral etc but when you get to know them you can look past that. But I've yet to meet such a person.

So yes I do judge harshly when I first meet someone, but I feel it's necessary especially considering the area I live in. <_<

 

[Espurr]

I used to be quite judgmental as well but I guess you can say I just grew out of it. Back then I always just assumed the worst about people and judged them based on first impression but now even despite what I've seen or heard about a person, I generally like to attempt to give the said person chance or two and just assume they're a decent person. Through this method I managed to meet 2 of my closest real life friends this way.

 

[Ayumi Hamasaki]

I don't judge people.

I mean I'm sure I do, but I don't let it bother my interactions with them unless it's something fairly important. I can talk to anyone, give them a chance, and get to know them. My thing is that I keep giving chances, because I'm an idiot.

I'm sure everyone on here has the wrong impression of me. Apparently the first impression is that I'm a whore cunt.

 

[Sexy Beast]

I shamefully admit that I am one to judge a book by its cover.

When I meet people in real life, I always go by what they say, what they do, and more importantly, what they body posture is. I'm easily judgmental at first because I do not know them. However, once I get a chance to talk, and chit-chat with them, I find myself being quite fond of their company. Given that I'm quite shy irl, I think its a bit contradicting that I would say that I judge them when I don't have the balls to directly say that their a fucker. Instead, I put it in my head so much that I believe they are said fucker.

Nowadays, I give people more credit. I don't go by anything I stated above as that's how I use to be, but now I just try to find out more about them in the first go and just hope for the best. But, hey! who knows, I might have a little of a judgmental jackass in me somewhere.

 

[Bambi]

i dont think you can help but judge someone by a first impression, as youve nothing else really to go off othter than how they are til the next time you see them

Ive been wrong on many occassions, a few people ive just took instant dislike to before ive even spoke to them, and ive been wrong and ended up getting on really well with them/really liking them. this seems to happen an awful lot with me.

 

[Donald Trump]

No.
My first impressions are always correct. I don't judge people exactly, because the term has negative aspects to it. I'd say assess, and I'm fairly accurate. I don't have one of these stories that everyone else seems to have when they were completely wrong about someone and eventually they became the best of friends.
It must be because I am smarter than everyone else.

 

[Steve-O]

i'll give you the best example ever (well it not great but still.... it weaid.) sooo i use to do a job being an student guide at college when i use to be there... anyway one day i got partnered with this girl... we never really spoke cuz from seeing her speak with other people i was like (naa she weaid XD) soo over the next few months she said hi to me every soo often..... i said hi back but we never really had a proper comvo, then onme day in march this year she was sitting down... said hi.. this time i decided to talk to her just to see what she was like..... i now been in a relationship with her for 7 months and were still going strong

soo what i'm saying here... never judge somebody by your first impressions.. you could miss a chance to have a valuable relationship with a great friend... or a amazing relationship with someone... sooo always get to know people before you judge them

 

[Mitsuki]

Sometimes it's appropriate to judge by first impression. We all do it all the time, though we may not always be conscious about it. And once you make your first impression, if you're absolutely confident in your judgement, then you're most likely correct. I don't think there's anything really bad about judging a book by its cover. It's the same old cliché, typically shoved in your face only if we are mistaken about our judgments anyway. At that point, all we can really say is, "Oops, I was wrong about you." Maybe feel a bit sheepish, whatever. But to those who judge by first impression, there's really nothing to be shameful about, as long as you know what you're looking for in a person or who you want to be wary of. That's just being realistic, especially given the circumstances these days.

I used to say, "I hate to judge..." a lot, but then I realized that yes, I am constantly judging people by first impressions. I can't exactly say that I don't let that affect my social interactions with people, because whether I think that I shouldn't shut people out, I end up doing it with certain individuals anyway. Some may see that as a horrible trait, but I don't think anyone can really understand the underlying reasoning behind a person's intent for judging someone. We all have our own stories and scenarios. Though they may sound similar to each other, it doesn't make it the same situation.

 

[Shu]

Heh who knew Mits and I would differ here. I think sometimes you can be right, but some of the best friends I've made are the ones who are actually wearing stuff that would be considered Punk or Goth. Folks who actually do tattoo, and at night they actually go home to families like you and me. Their life has the abilities to wind up in some stupid shit. But they pull up their big boy britches and take care of their family.

I'm a college boy, I dress a certain way, look a certain way.. and girls do go after me. Though I'm married, I don't have the want to fuck around at bars anymore and laugh and cry and be merry..I go on few occasions just to humor my single friends, but I keep my eyes and hands elsewhere. People always ask me.. "where's your wife", and though they know me.. I'm much more than a preppy 27 year old male. I'm much more than a soccer player. I'm much more than a hard worker at a software firm. I'm an avid gamer, I go to concerts that are considered a little angsty, but if you ever listen to the music I listen to, it's nothing about angst in the lyrics. The instruments are played at full blast, there is no death metal roaring.

I identify with people that are of lower class, by pay scale, because they are more real than anyone I find in the middle class. Everyone shows a fake smile every day. They greet you, work with you to keep their job, but at the end of the day they want to go their separate ways.

Sometimes I agree, first impressions are right. A guy drinking hard at a party on Jaegar, I write off as a tool. He might bring in 1 girl a month, but he talks it up like every night. He may have the looks, but he's a dumb little tool.

Economy is fucked anyway, we sit around and see people disabled and are scared to help them. We see people who are from another country and you automatically approach them like aliens. We see people slapping their kid around, and we automatically want to confront it and break it up, because corporal punishment can almost be considered domestic abuse. Not 20 years ago.

First impressions... are often times the wrong ones, sadly. Unless you have an excellent form of ESP, which I doubt anyone has evolved to that level, it's really hard to tell who is what. We have a lot of that at this forum as well... but you know what I mean

 

[Tyler Breeze]

At first, most of my best friends came off as total arses, but once I got to know them, they turned out to be pretty cool arses. I'm pretty sure that's what people think of me when they first talk to me (honestly it's kinda true). But after they talk to me for a little while longer, they realize I'm not an arse all the time. So that's how all that nonsense goes down. Yes this wrong first impression happens way too often from both sides.

 

[Tucker]

I am so judgmental it's crazy. I judge people from their looks, to how they interact with other people, to how they walk (I am sorry, but when I see a hunchbacked teenager with duck feet all I can thing is, HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF WALK?)

But my first impressions are always wrong. Well, not always But most of the time yes. Some of my greatest friends were people who I thought were rude, weird, and in one case a total slut

It's funny, because most of the people I despise right now are people who I liked on my first impression/thought we'd be good friends. Then I always proved more worthy

So while I know it's wrong, I am extremely judgmental.