What Makes a Whore?

[Channizard]

So I've heard people comment in other threads offhandedly, mostly about when choosing a mate... a lot of people prefer not to be with people who have slept with a lot of other people. This usually, and mostly, is applied to girls.

Now I'm not gonna get into the whole double standard thing of guys sleeping around vs girls sleeping around.. that is a WHOLE 'NOTHER thread. This is more about discussion for when you transcend the point of 'having fun' and become a whore.

Who is to judge what makes a whore? Do you have to sleep with x amount of people to be determined as such? Do you have to sleep with x amount of people in y amount of time? Do you have to dress like z? I know I make a lot of cracks about Tifa doing the cheap hooker look but that's all it is.. just jokes. I know the Tifags don't really take me seriously. Jus clearing that up.

I don't actually use the word whore seriouly anymore. I use it towards friends who use it in kind, just as a joke when we call each other names. I don't think I have ever looked at a woman and said that she was a slut, because of how she dressed or who she slept with and meant it. I really don't think that there is any way to determine Whoredom.

If a woman sleeps around with a bunch of guys, I don't think it's any business of anyone else other than her, and the men. And as long as she's being safe, and the guys are being safe, then what does it matter? What does it matter if she has 3 notches, or 22 notches on her bed post by the time she's 20.. 25.. 30... As long as all parties are safe, then it's fine.

That said, if parties aren't being safe, I still wouldn't call them whores, just reckless and irresponsible for their own well being. If you want to get AIDS go right ahead.. if you want to get pregnant, go right ahead.. ain't nobodies problem but you're own.

I especially don't think that a person's sexual history should reflect on your opinion of them to determine whether they're a good mate or not. As long as they were safe, then that's all in the past.. and if they're honest and say they had some mess ups, then tread carefully.. but the fact that a girl has slept with either 3 guys or 30 guys shouldn't make or break the fact that you want to date her. I actually would call that shallow.

 

[Demon]

There's a significant contrast between men and women sleeping around. Women have a lot more oppurtunities to sleep around - all they have to say is "..." and yeah. With a guy, any oppurtunity to sleep around is generally a well-earned one.

However if a woman takes several oppurtunities to sleep around, or is just gross about it, she's an "wh...".

JUST A REMINDER THAT THIS ^ IS NOT THE TOPIC, AS STATED BY THE THREAD CREATOR: "Now I'm not gonna get into the whole double standard thing of guys sleeping around vs girls sleeping around.. that is a WHOLE 'NOTHER thread. This is more about discussion for when you transcend the point of 'having fun' and become a whore."

PLEASE REMAIN ON TOPIC.

 

[Sepalcure]

Honestly I really don't care about how a woman handles herself in the bedroom, even moreso if I'm not a friend of hers. I know that sounds harsh but I'm very much about myself when it comes to sex and whatnot, I'm much more hard pressed to fret over using protection and making sure my bf is using protection. I'm far too concerned about my own sexual safety to turn my attention towards someone who may have conquered 10 or 20 men in the bedroom. Her life is her life, I'm with you on this one, Channy. What business is it to me, if a woman decides to have unprotected sex? If she feels that it's fine to put herself at risk for a plethora of STDs and/or perhaps a baby or some twins then that's her business.

Now to take it on a more personal level, if one of my cousins in my family decided to be irresponsible and sleep with a lot of men in x amount of time then I wouldn't call them a slut or a whore. They're both demeaning terms, highly offensive, and it speaks volumes about the way you feel about the person you've tagged the term on. Just because they might have slept with lots of men in a short amount of time doesn't make their actions whorish, it's simple a matter of irresponsibility.

There's a reason we have sexual education classes. Likewise, if they're wise about it, and sleep around but use condoms and other forms of contraceptives, then that's fine. Either way, their choices will reflect on them, negatively or positively. At the end of the day, I cease to care about what a woman wants to do once she strips off her clothes and does the do with a guy. It's their life.

 

[Dionysos]

Since the dawn of civilisation men have tried to take a wife with whom they are almost certain that only they will sleep with, thus ensuring that the children that they raise are their own. It’s a basic survival instinct. Yes, these same men may have taken whores (real ones) and concubines for pleasure and company, but the underlying need for trust in a serious life-partner / attempt to be a life-partner remains today.

Deciding to try and avoid people who sleep around often as a potential partner, while it may seem outdated and silly in these times, can sometimes be with good reason, and not always in a hard-headed and opinionated sense. If a person has slept around a lot, and has had a lot of sexual partners then it may mean that they may not be as loyal a partner to you as you would wish, and even if they try they may really have eyes and strong desires to go elsewhere, leading to shorter relationships. That’s not necessarily true, and it is all down to trust and how well you know the person, but that is likely the underlying fear that you are not that special in the eyes of the person, or are just another one in a long list.

I know I’d have that fear myself if I was to fall for a girl who I knew had slept around a lot and didn’t have any serious and steady relationships. If I really cared about a person, then it wouldn’t really be a firm barrier for me, but it may probably make me more cautious. I don’t think it is wrong to be concerned about where you genuinely stand in a relationship if a person’s history may suggest that you could merely be just another thing. I’m all for trusting people and accepting them for who they are, and I’m all for letting people change, but I don’t want to be taken for a fool. If I was to be in a relationship then I’d want it to be a serious one, and not one where I’m only viewed in a short-term sense.

Regardless of all of that… I never use the term “whore”. I don’t have any reason to comment on anyone’s sexual activity, and personally I think that some things should just be kept private. I wouldn’t put any limit on my definition of “whore”, if I was to use it, for it is essentially none of my business, and each person has a different set of standards. It’s a word which is sometimes flippantly used, but in other cases used with strong conviction.

It wouldn’t affect my opinion of a person as a person, but I can’t deny that it would make me more cautious when considering a “mate”. Not that I actively search for a “mate”, but if I was to have strong feelings towards a girl, but then hear about her past, I’d be willing over time to trust her, but it wouldn’t be without being anxious, I should think. Being honest.

 

[Ohri-Jin]

A woman is a whore if she doesnt respect herself..
Not respecting her body that God gave her..

Selling her body for money.
Using her body and traits to manipulate men!

IMO thats a WHORE.

You can have sex with whoever you wish..but if you do it with more than one man at the same time you are a whore..

You are a whore if you as a woman drink way too much and sleep / kiss when you already have a relationship..

Women that cheats with several men is a whore..

So I guess quantity and quality is essential wether to depict the woman is a whore or not..

ALso there are many kinds and versions of whores xD

It is what it is..society is/was purely a male based thing..so people will always look through the man point of view..

I dont say I agree with it, but so it has been since the beginning of time..

 

[The Witch]

If they constantly cheat.

If they constantly bring others down by their own looks/body.

If they dress provocatively and do sexual things just to get somewhere in life(like at a job).

If they sleep around a lot with men that are taken.

If they get a guy's attention just by saying sexual stuff like "I'm so horny right now" especially to a guy that's dating someone.

If they continue to bring other woman down.


Other than that, I'm not sure. I don't use the word often. I know it's used when a woman sleeps around a lot. But in my opinion, it's just to show how rude/mean a girl is. :/

 

[Harlequin]

A woman is a whore if she doesnt respect herself..

This. If she's an easy target and gives it up easy she's a slut. I think a whore is someone who sells herself but semantics...

 

[Channizard]

All, very interesting. Okay, but there are several different scenarios to take into consideration.

1.) What if a woman is seeing a guy, but they've agreed they're not exclusive. They're both seeing other people, but maybe she's seeing or having more sex than he is.

2.) What if I a woman has a good thing going on sex wise, but then has an opportunity to see and start having sex with someone else. Again, no strings attached in either opportunity. Does she had an obligation to tell either man? Does she have to, as long as she's being safe?

3.) What if a woman is seeing one guy, but then he becomes unavailable and off the market, so she, still unsatiable, goes and moves on to another man for more sex.

Are any of these situations whoreish if she's not ready to be in a relationship and is just looking for sex? As long as she's safe, is there any reason why she should restrict herself to just one man? And again, this is all taking into consideration that this is no strings sex with no emotional attachment anywhere.

 

[Abstract Debauchery]

All three of those scenarios sound like a whore to me. Would be the same if it were a dude, to be honest. If you're going around, jumping into "non-exclusive" relationships for the soul purpose of sex, then I'm going to view that person as a whore, and avoid them at all costs.

 

[Valvalis]

If they constantly cheat.

If they dress provocatively and do sexual things just to get somewhere in life(like at a job).

If they sleep around a lot with men that are taken.

If they get a guy's attention just by saying sexual stuff like "I'm so horny right now" especially to a guy that's dating someone.

These in particular sum it up for me. I don't think having lots of relationships makes someone a whore unless they're using those people for some reason and then dumping them off. However, a whore essentially to me is someone who acts promiscuous towards people who are already taken, or actually has relations with people who are taken. Those people are the scum of the earth in my book, I just want to kick them in the face, and there is no excuse that anyone can make for them because it's pretty much a common sense thing that that's the wrong thing to do

As far as the way someone dresses, I dress what some people would consider promiscuous sometimes, but I certainly don't try to use it to get ahead in life, because that's absolutely disgusting. Maybe there could be exceptions where someone is just really, legitimately dumb but has a good body, but the truth is that most of the people who do it, do it because they're SMART enough to know that it works, and they're too lazy to apply themselves to get the job or whatever in a legitimate, honest way. If it's much easier to flash your tits in someone's face than study a subject or work hard, then why would they want to do the more difficult one?

Throughout all of this, though, there is also something to be said for the fact that whores are a two-part system. A whore would not be able to exist without an audience, so the other half of the problem is the guys/girls who cater to them and encourage them that it's acceptable, by participating in their unscrupulous actions.

/rant

 

[Rydia]

First I'll say this. I do not find men that have slept with several women to be attractive, or sexy. I find them disgusting. I don't want to start a relationship with someone who has a high risk of having an STD (herpes and warts can be above the area the condom covers,) will most likely cheat, and will see me nothing other than something to screw. And I hate their conversations about women. If you don't like it, tough.

That said.

I see a whore as someone who sleeps with multiple partners on a regular basis. 4 or 5 different people a week? I think that is going a little to far. Especially those who sleep with men that are already taken, or those who put other women down. The worst are those that try to seduce a man just to make the man's SO upset. I find that many of these women have very low self esteem. Whether you find any of that right or wrong is up to you.

And it is a big deal that they do not use protection. Let's say they contact an STD, meet you or a family member, sleep with them, and pass the disease on to them. Or if they do get pregnant, guess who is going to be paying for their child when they find out that they can't afford all the bills? And really, it's just irresponsible to bring another life into the world if you are not ready.

 

[Davey Gaga]

Such a...stimulating discussion.

A woman is a whore if she doesnt respect herself..
Not respecting her body that God gave her..

I actually think this wins it. Shag a hundred thousand men if you wish, so long as you're doing it for you, but as soon as you lose respect for yourself and just do it for the sake of others/passing the time, then you've probably crossed a border.

You can have sex with whoever you wish..but if you do it with more than one man at the same time you are a whore..

Or just a good laugh.

 

[Shu]

This thread is very similar to the following thread:

http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/the-sleeping-forest/slut-41069.html

__________________________________________________

I'll copy and paste what I put in there and then add a bit.

1) Women and men both enjoy sex, sometimes to the extent women sometimes enjoy it more.. it's no secret. One orgasm compared to... multiple, get the picture?

2) Women are not freaks for admitting they enjoy sex. Hell, most folks talk about sex like adults where I live.

3) If the girl is in the dating circuit or not and just wants to have fun, then let the girl be. Sex is great, just use protection and be sure not to sleep with someone you'll regret.

Things that I would use the word Slut for:

1) Long term relationships that are ruined because the girl OR girl gets drunk or whatever else and screws some other fella. The candy is always there folks, but it is just there for looks if you are in a relationship like this.

2) Ones that use sex for their advantage in life. Let's say they dress a certain way to get higher in the job market chain, due to their boss is a womanizing low self esteem ass hole. She sleeps with him, and she moves up or becomes his bitch. I don't usually see the other way around happening.. but I know in some rare cases guys use it as a control tool.

Now as far as the word whore is used, well I only hear that word to describe women who sleep around for money. This is not just prostitutes either. Certain women in the world are from I can see turned on by a man who's financially endowed. They like shiny things, and when they receive shiny things, they put out. Of course the other kind are prostitutes, who are paid straight up money.

 

[Stoic Hero]

Dictionary.com:
–noun
1.
a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.

World English Dictionary:
— n
1. a prostitute or promiscuous woman: often a term of abuse

— vb
2. to be or act as a prostitute
3. (of a man) to have promiscuous sexual relations, esp with prostitutes
4. ( often foll by after ) to seek that which is immoral, idolatrous, etc

I think those pretty much cover my views on what a whore is. Anyone who sleeps around (man or woman) for pay/favors is a whore. Anyone who cheats on someone else with sex is a whore. Having multiple relations (promiscuous) at one time is a whore. I don't necessarily agree with sleeping around in general. I just wouldn't call those people whores. Fornicators is the word for them.

 

[Ayumi Hamasaki]

I don't know what I think about this actually. A whore is someone who sleeps around so much that it becomes an issue for them is what I think I'll say. Whether that issue is that they cheat, get STDs, or they have an unwanted pregnancy because of their habits, that makes them a whore in my eyes.

Sex is fun. It's amazing. But you have to be smart about it. If you're not smart about it, I think you're a whore. To me it has nothing to do with the number of times you do but the way you do it.

 

[DarkShadow]

A whore is a women who is a prostitute --> thats the definition .........But this word has evolved through ignorance, and people are just calling it to women whoo like to date and have sex. In my opinion thats not a whore,a whore to me is one who does it with several men acts all horny towards several men, shows off her body,thinks she's all it,ignoring the dangers within sex.

 

[Sir Fratley]

Many words now a days have evolved well beyond their original meaning. Faggot used to mean a bundle of kindling/sticks. Gay used to mean happy. A rainbow used to be something you saw after a rainstorm. A bitch was a female canine. I think through the generations, we've taken normally harmless words and applied them into hateful slang directed at sexual natures. To me, a whore is someone who lives only for sex and is never satisfied with one man, or even a small group of men. To purposefully flaunt oneself for the sole purpose of getting laid, that is a whore.

 

[Gingerbread Lesbian]

Personally, I don't think it has to be a group of people in one go. Anyone who sleeps with a ridiculous amount of people is such a short space of time to me is a whore. I have a friend who has slept with 31 different people in two years, and whilst she's probably one of the nicest people I'll ever meet it's still sluttish in my eyes. She's the sort of person I wouldn't go near to with a 10ft pole when it comes to sex, whether she's used protection for all 31 people or not.

If someone cheats on their partner too, then they aren't worth the time of day.

 

[Channizard]

I have a friend who has slept with 31 different people in two years, and whilst she's probably one of the nicest people I'll ever meet it's still sluttish in my eyes. She's the sort of person I wouldn't go near to with a 10ft pole when it comes to sex, whether she's used protection for all 31 people or not.

Okay see this is a prime example. Why? If she's used protection, hasn't gained a single STD or pregnancy from any of these, what does the past matter towards a future commitment/sexual relation? I just don't get it.

 

[Gingerbread Lesbian]

If someone sleep around enough then they'll get the 'whore' stigma attached to them whether they are aware of it or not. If someone is genuinely sleeping with people because they 'like' them or think they may go somewhere with them or hope they do then I don't have a problem with that but most people who sleep around only do it for a quick fix, whether it be because they have self-esteem issues, personal problems or simply because they want sex. When it comes down to relationships if someone sleeps around a lot then the other guy/girl could naturally have insecurity issues, if person A is easy and sleeps with 30+ people in a short space of time then person B has every right to think he/she could cheat on her/him.

The stigma is the reason that people who sleep around a lot find it more difficult to get into a long lasting relationship. It's just as much a mental thing as it is whether he/she has an STD.

To me, sleeping around simply because someone can is unnecessary and pointless and they deserve every bit of stigma they get.