What Makes a Whore?

[CassinoChips]

Trust. What's to say if someone has slept with a load of people that they wont jump ship the next time a decent bit of meat comes along.

Why would trust be an issue if she had never cheated on her partner? You're assuming that just because she's had X number of sexual partners in the past, that she's unable to be monogamous when a relationship becomes exclusive.

If a girl had had sex with a hundred guys before she met me, I don't understand why that's any of my business, assuming she was safe, etc. Because I wasn't involved in her life. Now if she has sex with a hundred guys after we're together, then yeah, I'd have an issue.

 

[Gingerbread Lesbian]

Why would trust be an issue if she had never cheated on her partner? You're assuming that just because she's had X number of sexual partners in the past, that she's unable to be monogamous when a relationship becomes exclusive.

If a girl had had sex with a hundred guys before she met me, I don't understand why that's any of my business, assuming she was safe, etc. Because I wasn't involved in her life. Now if she has sex with a hundred guys after we're together, then yeah, I'd have an issue.

It's part and parcel of being branded a whore, if people start sleeping around a lot with other people then others start to question whether that person would be able to maintain a steady relationship should it come to it. I've heard that exact reason been thrown about a lot about certain individuals at uni. Though, you don't ever have to actually cheat on someone to lose their trust all you need is suspicion to emerge.

 

[CassinoChips]

It's part and parcel of being branded a whore, if people start sleeping around a lot with other people then others start to question whether that person would be able to maintain a steady relationship should it come to it. I've heard that exact reason been thrown about a lot about certain individuals at uni. Though, you don't ever have to actually cheat on someone to lose their trust all you need is suspicion to emerge.

That's your trust issue then, not hers, if you're going to suspect someone might cheat because other people have labeled her a whore. If she had been known to cheat on former partners, then I wouldn't fault you for suspecting her of possibly cheating. But to make the assumption that she'd cheat simply because she's been known to have a certain number of sexual partners is fallacious. Women cheat for a variety of reasons, very rarely is it because they simply saw an attractive dude.

 

[Gingerbread Lesbian]

That's your trust issue then, not hers, if you're going to suspect someone might cheat because other people have labeled her a whore.

It doesn't matter whose issue it is. If trust is gone in a relationship then it might as well be dead unless something drastic happens.

But to make the assumption that she'd cheat simply because she's been known to have a certain number of sexual partners is fallacious.

Which is why I'm stating a possibility and not assuming someone will actually go out and do it, you can't assume this person will or won't cheat which is why it's based on trust? You wouldn't go into a relationship without knowing you could completely trust them.

Women cheat for a variety of reasons, very rarely is it because they simply saw an attractive dude.

Plenty of people do though, all you have to do is walk into a club and you're bound to find that several lasses have got with someone else whilst in a relationship.

 

[Shu]

I think those are more along the lines of being called "Loose" which I'll not even dive into out of respect of the women audience. I probably would not date someone who was notoriously known to sleep around. It's just hard to know if people are lying about STDs or not.

I don't mind the spark, but being labled a whore, is pretty devastating for some. Liking sex and having it often, is different than having sex as means of survival (as in get someone to be a sugar daddy)/ popularity.

 

[CassinoChips]

It doesn't matter whose issue it is. If trust is gone in a relationship then it might as well be dead unless something drastic happens.


Which is why I'm stating a possibility and not assuming someone will actually go out and do it, you can't assume this person will or won't cheat which is why it's based on trust? You wouldn't go into a relationship without knowing you could completely trust them.

I don't disagree, but you're sabotaging the potential relationship before it even starts based on erroneous information and assumptions. Seems short-sighted, in my opinion.

Plenty of people do though, all you have to do is walk into a club and you're bound to find that several lasses have got with someone else whilst in a relationship.

The question is why. If they cheated just because they could, which is a rare case with women in most instances, then that's one thing. Not to justify a woman's cheating, but generally, it's not just about sex.

 

[Ayumi Hamasaki]

If a girl had had sex with a hundred guys before she met me, I don't understand why that's any of my business, assuming she was safe, etc. Because I wasn't involved in her life. Now if she has sex with a hundred guys after we're together, then yeah, I'd have an issue.

Well, I suppose what it comes down to is what you want to know in a relationship then. If I'm dating someone, I'm going to ask, and I'm going to have an opinion on their answer. If they've had sex with hundreds of people before they met me then it's going to bother me. Am I going to call them a whore because of it? Probably not, because I wouldn't hate them just because of that. However, it would be PART of consideration as far as dating goes.

Perhaps it's because I see sex in a more romantic light than you do. That's my view. It doesn't mean I brand people who don't see it that way as being whores, or wrong. It just means that when I'm faced with that situation I'm going to see it through my perspective and it's going to bother me because of what I believe. And I'm going to make a decision based on that belief.

Perhaps that's because if I'm planning to be with someone with the rest of my life I expect them to TELL me thing like this. I think that it is my business. And I don't have casual sex for that matter. I've never just met someone and hooked up with them out of nowhere. I don't believe in doing that, because for me sex is just as much emotional as it is putting your part in the right part to get the right reaction.

 

[Channizard]

Why would trust be an issue if she had never cheated on her partner? You're assuming that just because she's had X number of sexual partners in the past, that she's unable to be monogamous when a relationship becomes exclusive. quote]

Yes.

If she had been known to cheat on former partners, then I wouldn't fault you for suspecting her of possibly cheating. But to make the assumption that she'd cheat simply because she's been known to have a certain number of sexual partners is fallacious. Women cheat for a variety of reasons, very rarely is it because they simply saw an attractive dude.

Yes.

The question is why. If they cheated just because they could, which is a rare case with women in most instances, then that's one thing. Not to justify a woman's cheating, but generally, it's not just about sex.

Oh God Yes.

It's like you're in my mind and making every single argument I want to make before I even get a chance to make it. Quite frankly beyond all of that there isn't much else that needs to be said.

It doesn't matter whose issue it is. If trust is gone in a relationship then it might as well be dead unless something drastic happens.

Where are these trust issues coming from? If your relationship with person A was perfectly healthy until about 4 months later when you finally have the sex talk and exchange numbers, isn't it your own insecurity that's bringing up these trust issues to think that her number means something?

Well, I suppose what it comes down to is what you want to know in a relationship then. If I'm dating someone, I'm going to ask, and I'm going to have an opinion on their answer. If they've had sex with hundreds of people before they met me then it's going to bother me. Am I going to call them a whore because of it? Probably not, because I wouldn't hate them just because of that. However, it would be PART of consideration as far as dating goes.

Yeah but it's not like exchanging the number of partners you've had is a first, second or even third date topic. Most people nowadays wait (when in a relationship they want to mean something) a reasonable amount of time before having sex. I assume that this topic would then follow after that, but quite a little while.

Perhaps that's because if I'm planning to be with someone with the rest of my life I expect them to TELL me thing like this. I think that it is my business. And I don't have casual sex for that matter. I've never just met someone and hooked up with them out of nowhere. I don't believe in doing that, because for me sex is just as much emotional as it is putting your part in the right part to get the right reaction.

Preach it sistah


I just don't understand why it should be a big deal. I dated someone who had two, almost even 3 times the amount of partners I've had (and mine's not a drastic number, I'd say average for my age) and I wasn't so much as even phased by it. Sure I kinda thought "Oh wow... that's a lot." and asked why and where it all came from, but I think that if someone has a decent explanation like "I wasn't in a commitment stage" or "I just wanted to have fun and embrace being single" then who cares?

 

[Shu]

I just think in reality there is way more demeaning terms than the word "whore" out there, and they have a lot more "definition" and "emphasis" behind them. Trust me, if you think that's all women are being called these days, you just don't know. There are reasons why women, NO OFFENSE, are not allowed into conversations where men have spoken on their behalf. It's just something that would make us all sound like utter deuche bags. It's not the fact we speak bad or anything, it's the fact that the brutal honesty comes out and the crudeness diminishes. You might start to ponder, but don't.

It's the same reason I don't like sitting around and hearing women/gay men gossip (this is not a stereotype, we have gay friends come over 3 times a week) about their partners. It's just demeaning some times, and it get down right honest..

If I call someone a whore, it just means they paid for what they got. It does not have any definition. "She's a whore" "He's a whore" - people use it so loosely these days that it can just mean, wow he's experienced "tee hee". What you need to realize is protected sex "feels" good.. outside religious aspects there's not much wrong for it.

I have not had an exponential amount of partners, but have been called a whore. It made me giggle to the slightest, but hypocritical at the same time. If I was an inexperienced person, I wouldn't want to do myself, no offense, it's just I feel the person is super insecure and has issues. Freedom in love is where I enjoy. Though then again I wouldn't want to be with someone who's just WAY to aggressive about it. That's the difference. Sought or be sought out.

Numbers mean nothing, I don't see why folks get pint up about the word whore.

 

[CassinoChips]

Well, I suppose what it comes down to is what you want to know in a relationship then. If I'm dating someone, I'm going to ask, and I'm going to have an opinion on their answer. If they've had sex with hundreds of people before they met me then it's going to bother me. Am I going to call them a whore because of it? Probably not, because I wouldn't hate them just because of that. However, it would be PART of consideration as far as dating goes.

Oh sure, I'd ask too. It's something that should be discussed, but I just don't see it as the straw that would potentially break the camel's back, you know? It's information that should be shared, but I just see it as that. Information.

Perhaps it's because I see sex in a more romantic light than you do. That's my view. It doesn't mean I brand people who don't see it that way as being whores, or wrong. It just means that when I'm faced with that situation I'm going to see it through my perspective and it's going to bother me because of what I believe. And I'm going to make a decision based on that belief.

Fair enough. But just to clarify, I do see sex in a romantic light ... when it's intended to be in a romantic light. For a committed couple, it should be (at least occasionally) romantic. But there are also times when it's just sex. It's really down to the two people involved.

Perhaps that's because if I'm planning to be with someone with the rest of my life I expect them to TELL me thing like this. I think that it is my business. And I don't have casual sex for that matter. I've never just met someone and hooked up with them out of nowhere. I don't believe in doing that, because for me sex is just as much emotional as it is putting your part in the right part to get the right reaction.

Right, I did misspeak a bit when I said "none of my business." So mea culpa on that. Like I said earlier, it's definitely info that should be shared with a potential partner.

 

[Aeris]

To me, whore is the definition that it is in the dictionary.
Having sex for money. Though this takes on many names.
Prostitute, harlot, et cetera.....

However, the term slut means something totally different to me.
Someone who is intimate with people without any care or consideration towards others.

Having a good time? Good for them! I don't think of people who sleep around as 'bad people' as long as nobody is hurt and it IS all just for fun. No deciet towards a soul and such. For example, a sister sleeping with your boyfriend behind your back. Or your best friend without your knowing. To me, that is deceitful and wrong. It isn't for fun, it is for lust and selfish reasons. In my eyes, weither the person you are with knows it or not, if they would be emotionally hurt or betrayed then it should never be considered as 'fun'.

Having a good time when having sex, to me, is a single person meeting another and having a night of passion. Or a one night stand as some prefer to address it. :B

 

[Æon Flux]

Personaly I think of a whore as someone who trades sex in exchange for ,money,shelter jewelry drugs ect...Anyone is a whore in my eyes if you gain something as a result of useing sexual acts to get it.

I also happen to have a lot of sluts as freinds both male and female~Imo sluts are just people who have sex without any morality to whom they do said acts with.

I actualy know a few people whom out of the slut catagory have gotten hurt by their own methods of enjoying their acts. Mostly its the females
"Oh the married man you where seeing dosent want to date you? I wonder why...."

Honestly I think it depends on the person. I am pretty amblivient about it myself I dont care if a guy I date has had harem in his backyard as long as he dosent have any kids. I think its the hight of stupidity to go propagating the planet by oneself. The same applies for a woman in my veiw if your carefull then IDGAS but when it comes to someone haveing over two kids.....That is a seperate rant

I also find men seem to be more picky about dating a woman whos had a lot of sexual encounters and labels.

 

[Rydia]

Ran into a bit of a problem a few years ago. At a car dealership, my fiance was getting his new car. The girl selling it to him, she was nineteen and married, was flirting with him RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! She had a short skirt on a low top and kept leaning over my fiance while he was sitting the driver's seat. She also kept positioning her body in ways that would reveal a lot of let and would then glare at me. And she kept getting her face close to him as she was reaching for something in the car, where she easily could have asked one of us to get it. I would wonder if I was just being too paranoid if she did not keep giving me the bitch stare.

I remember that I kept wanting to say "I AM STANDING RIGHT HERE!"

Regardless of how many sexual partners she has had, I would consider her a whore based on that behavior. It was a bit unnacceptable.

 

[LadyHermes]

Whores are people who have sex with others without care or consdieration for the people around them.
I've seen many girls flirt with my boyfriend and hug him and kiss him on the cheek right in front of me, and they are whores. As they clearly saw he had a girlfriend (me ) and they still went and tried to get a little something out of him.

He got aggrivated in the end and walked away and took me home, but I did used to work in a nightclub, and there was whores everywhere. Like everyweek the same girls going with different men everyweekend. It was really saddening, because I don't see how they can do that...

 

[Soltharn]

It's a term I prefer not to use in itself, but I would consider someone to be a 'whore' if they willingly slept with someone who was already in a relationship at the time. This would, however, apply to both of the individuals in that situation - for whilst flirting and seducing is bad in itself, reacting to it by giving in is equally as terrible in my book.

As for people choosing to sell their bodies...I'm reluctant to class them as 'whores' due to the fact that many seem to be doing it for protection or money to make ends meet.

I do think the term is thrown around a tad too loosely, though.

 

[LadyHermes]

As for people choosing to sell their bodies...I'm reluctant to class them as 'whores' due to the fact that many seem to be doing it for protection or money to make ends meet.

I do think the term is thrown around a tad too loosely, though.

This is true, however, the people who see these prostitutes (well in some cases) are married or they have a partner. So they could be classed as male equivilent.

But I would agree that the term is thrown around loosly. I won't disagree with that in any sense.