Forums and internet

[Big Casino]

You join up and and over time it can become a big part of your life. You make friends that you value as highly as anyone of you mates in real life.

il cut to the chase

Do you expect things like that to stay the way they are forever? Everything changes, we all do and your bound to lose contact with some of these people you hold so close. They go to uni, college etc, some go and find jobs.
HOw would you approach that situatuion if you let it get that far?
How would you feel about never seeing your buds from the net ever again?
Or maybe your one of them folks who keep it casual and dont get to friendly with people. That mught just be the best way to go about it i think.

Whens the right time to quit the social part of the internet? ie) the foruming, chatting via skype, msn etc. Is there a right time when you should just cut out all that stuff and focus on more important matter?


sorry if the grammar sucks, im beyond tired

 

[Davey Gaga]

I don't think the net's been around long enough to properly address this. I've still not lost contact with anyone I was at school with purely through facebook and MSN. Granted we're not in each other's faces anymore but modern times mean we don't have to sever all ties when we bugger off to Uni or move to other countries. Since this is a fairly new phenomenon there's not a lot of us who can say if this lasts forever or not.

As for forums, I certainly hope I don't lose contact with certain folks. Same idea - meet on the internet, difficult to sever all ties.

 

[Marquis of Granby]

if you meet someone off the internet like in real life and get along with them then it shouldnt be any different to a normal friend, thats if you get along though

but if you mean just like...people you cant/are not likely to meet then i dunno. a friend is a friend however you look at it i spose and even in rl friends can drift in and out of your life. though i think the attraction with online friends is that if you get close and feel you can tell them things its easier because you dont see them, how they react etc but then theres a lot of people who see no appeal in that too.

draw the line where you want to draw it i think. its becoming more "acceptable" now to find a partner online because apparently people are so busy they cant just go out and talk to other people. computery stuff in general is seen as less geeky these days since just about everyone has one.

 

[Channizard]

I was once part of a forum where everyone was close. Relationships developed, friendships grew, meetings were arranged by lots, phonecalls and skype chats were frequent...

Eventually cliques divided everyone.. people left and found 'irl' an moved on. I managed to clique jump successfully a couple times from people I hated at first and then made them my best friends. So much so I put them over my bf at the time.

...cue drama an shit and I had to cut ties with all of them. It was hard, Really hard. If you have a normal falling out with people you got on great with, you wonder "well why did this happen?" and if not, and you know why, then you can't help but feel a pang of jealousy almost, if you see messages and inside jokes of theirs you were once apart of, on facebook, msn, skype.. suddenly something that was normal and you never noticed is everywhere you look and you can't stop thinking about it.

tl;dr....

 

[王 Yoshida]

i use Msn to talk to my family in Japan so...i would never get rid of msn nor FaceBook...its so important to me,and even when i finish school here in Canada,when i get back in Osaka, i will always use msn, i am not a cell phone guy...its just so easy to join me throuh msn or facebook!

And foruming... well when the Final Fantasy series will be done ill stop foruming,but as long as FF is there ill always be there on forums !!!

 

[Martel]

I've been part of a couple of forums before this where we were all quite close before. The first one shut down, and we all just gradually drifted apart. This was quite difficult for me, because I was a lot younger (and, dare I say, a lot more immature) but the second time I left the forum in question voluntarily, and I've only kept in contact with the people I spoke to a lot. A few of them I've drifted away from, others I'm still talking to...for now, anyway.

I'm used to people drifting in an out of my life, or drifting in and out of theirs, whichever way you want to look at it. I make friends, and I enjoy their company, but everything comes to an end at some point. I don't really see the point of caring about it when all it'll do is make me upset in the end. I like to have close friends, but I don't get emotionally involved with people. I doubt I could even I wanted to anyway, I'm an emotionless drone. Drifting away from people is just something that happens. I could get all emotional about it, but it wouldn't stop the process. It would probably only succeed in speeding it up, actually.

I like to look at it as the friends who are really your friends, those that really matter, will stay in contact with you no matter what life throws at them. True friendship withstands the test of time, and all that.

Anyways, I'd say the "right" time to quit the social side of the internet would be whenever you felt like it. I've gone on hiatus a few times to deal with educational matters, or because I just haven't felt like talking to people. Unlike real life, the internet has that wonderful factor of anonymity where you can just appear and disappear whenever you feel like it.

 

[Kandy-Sugar]

Nyeh I've always been a part of forums and never gotten too close with anyone.

Even when I did spend a lot of time on forums it was because I enjoyed posting about and what not. I liked talking about different things with people in threads, but I rarely spent my time on MSN talking to any members from those forums personally just about anything.

It sounds harsh but it felt like a waste of my time because I have so many other things to do in real life.

I find the time to come on here, post about a bit and leave when I'm ready to log off. When you're on MSN I find you get caught up in conversations with different people and before you know it, the time you could of spent making dinner, getting ready for work the next day, doing housework etc has passed you by.

It's simply unpractical for me to get too close to anyone online and that I would spend the majority of my time online talking to them.

I have real life friends. I enjoy spending time going out with them and such.

I'd hate to be cooped up on the computer tapping away at the keyboard all night long. =/

Or maybe your one of them folks who keep it casual and dont get to friendly with people. That mught just be the best way to go about it i think.

This is me. I don't mind having the odd chat here and there but nothing too serious.

Whens the right time to quit the social part of the internet? ie) the foruming, chatting via skype, msn etc. Is there a right time when you should just cut out all that stuff and focus on more important matter?

It depends on who you are.

I quit for three years due to the fact I was bored with it and had better things to entertain me in real life. Then in 2008 I found this place and became addicted for a while and then I felt the enjoyment of it all die off, left for a while and came back but only very casually.

The forums used to come first before anything else it seemed.

These days it's something I do when I'm bored, which in my opinion is how it should be for me, considering my lifestyle is very hectic with work and such.

I find forums take up so much of your time if you become addicted. If you have all the time in the world and find it hard to make real life friends, then sure go for it.


EDIT: 7 hours later. But if my lifestyle changes who knows, I may be very active once more and want to make friendships online. That day is very far away though. >.<

 

[blakstang98]

I joined my first forum back in 2007. I loved that place and the people there. I even donated $500 to them because I loved it so much. Then things sort of started to go downhill with that site when a mod or 2 stepped down. That led to my leaving, which incidentally led me here in time.

Those people that I became tight with on that forum have all sort of drifted from me in time. I even used to talk to one of them by phone every now and again. I do miss those them though, and the fun times we had on that forum, but time goes on. People start to pursue life's achievements, like college, career work, maybe even a relationship that leads to marriage. These factors lead a person to focus on life instead and leave their forum family behind.

I remember a discussion going on in the SB one day about where we'd be in 5 years or something. And I basically said that none of us will be associating with each other anymore. This was sort of a shock to most, thinking that I was just being pessimistic. But the truth of the matter is, life's road brings us all on different paths, and for the most part, those paths will all be away from each other. Some people here have met in real life, and continue to. Those people will more than likely still be friends after FFF life. As for everyone else, they all just fade away, sadly enough.

 

[Bambi]

Ive tried replying to this once, and it wouldnt let me, so il keep this brief

There are a very small amount of people Ive met over the internet that I will make a point of keeping contact with regardless of life - its the same with IRL friendships, you have to make the effort or you will just drift. Just because these are folk you have met online, I dont think its makes all that much difference, of course, with it being the internet, there will be folk that drift in and out that you will become friendly with, then just wont ever speak to ever again, theres looooads of people I can think of just from here.

I'm generally not too fussed about that, but there are defo folk I think I have formed strong friendships with - and that to me, is no different than my pals IRL. Ive got a few pals Ive known for about 5 or so years now, we dont talk half as much, and 2 of them, being 'mericans, im never liekly to meet, but we always maintain that connection, even if we go aaaaaaaaaaaaages without talking. And I hope that we will always maintain some kind of contact. Ive not seen hide nor hair of rob for mooooooonths, but I know I will do... eventyually.. actually its his bday in like a week, i should at least drop him a text hahaha

The folk on here I won't let get away from me that easily know who they are as well

Also, at Stangola, theres no reason why some folk cant still be pals in 5 years time, i know the vast majority wont be, but Ive managed to keep afew of the friendships up - Ive been here 3 years now and some of us are just... still here, and even when we all do fuck off FFF which we will, we still have other means of contact, theres email, FB, phone etc, its just so much easier to keep in touch these days

I remember moving as a ikd, and although it wasnt all that far (it was for a kid) I just lost all contact every time I moved with all my pals. If that was now, there's no way that would happen. Sure we may not be as close as we once were, but I feel as long as that contact is there then you can keep internet friends in your life for as long as you make the effort

Life always gets in the way regardless of it being on or offline :]

 

[L]

Do you expect things like that to stay the way they are forever?

nope. once I get occupied with something I usually go off to lala land with it.

Everything changes, we all do and your bound to lose contact with some of these people you hold so close. They go to uni, college etc, some go and find jobs.

I believe that I merely humor you all in my hours of boredom.

It's not to say I wouldn't fancy meeting some of you in the flesh, but the kind of friendship I feel that I share with most of you has a very detached, "easy to leave and come back to" feeling. But it's not just exclusive to internet relationships, so don't take it the wrong way; I've always been a bit of a loner.

I enjoy the company, all the laughs we have, working within the team to solve an issue, etc... You're all a good crowd of people and I hope you do well in life... But I tend to keep everyone at a distance, getting attached to people has always meant trouble for me.

Whens the right time to quit the social part of the internet? ie) the foruming, chatting via skype, msn etc. Is there a right time when you should just cut out all that stuff and focus on more important matter?

well

you only live once

be damned if you're gonna do it someone else's way.

 

[Dee]

Definitely not. I've been 'netting' since I was about 14 or so, a little over ten years, and in those ten years, things have changed drastically. I've met a lot of people, a lot of friends and a lot of enemies, but they always come and go. Fortunately, I've had the pleasure of keeping in touch with a few gems. I do not expect them to remain there or for things to stay the same. I'm just glad to be able to remain in contact with the people I can. :3

 

[Valvalis]

Personally, I think if you seem to click with someone really well online, then I think if it's possible, it would be worth it to try to stay in touch with them for as long as possible, and/or even try to meet them someday in real life. There are a lot of people who pretend to be something they're not on the internet, and I've run into a few people like this, but if you talk all the time about various subjects online, it's really not that different than talking to a friend on the phone who's moved away. The thing is, if a person is insincere or "phony," it can happen in real life almost as easily as online sometimes, and I've actually lost touch with 3 best friends in real life with no explanation. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, because it can happen just as easily in real life as online, I don't really see much difference between the two.

 

[Squid]

I've only ever been to one forum where i became awesome friends with everyone and that was DBZ LEGACY. It no longer exists but yeah we were like one big family then one day I just grew tired of it, cut ties with everyone and had a real life.... Now real life is boring so I joined here haha.

 

[Mitsuki]

I'm really more of a casual chatter around here. Say hello, get into the topic for a short moment, and then I get easily distracted. I suppose that once upon a time, I was one of those people that joined those big MSN convos, but those days are long gone. Pretty much what Kandy pointed out, you find yourself chatting away with people and although it's fun and everything, I can't help but feel like I've done nothing productive. Talking to big groups of people online just doesn't seem too appealing anymore for many reasons. But I do get on MSN once in awhile to catch up with a couple of friends, or if there's some staff-related issue that I need to speak to someone about. They're all one-on-one basis, whether it be casual or staff-related chat with someone.

Friends online though - like I said, that's very limited these days and I'm not saying this because I view myself as unsociable. I just think there's gotta be more to just saying hello to a few members and then after a chat or two in the SB, you suddenly become friends here or on MSN. It's great if people can click with certain individuals that quickly, but I kinda have a hard time going from a casual convo to a more personal level these past several months. I have very few friends here I speak to occasionally, and although it's not on a daily basis, I think they know how much I genuinely appreciate their companionship whenever we do get a chance to catch up.

So do I expect things to stay the way they are forever? Honestly, I'm not sure I can give a solid answer to that question. Maybe, maybe not. Depends on each of our own situation. Things happen, friendships can be at stake, or you realize you don't know the person all that well afterall and so you move on, whether temporarily or permanently. Whatever the case is, I do find myself looking back and having a laugh or two about the dumbest and memorable things I may have shared with a few.

I don't really think you can make a call about knowing the right time to quit the forums, MSN, etc. I'm pretty sure there's many of us who focus on the important matters in life and still be able to find time to log on here. It's just a matter of how you spend your time wisely when it comes to the online world. You don't have to be logged in every single day to be considered as 'active'. Just because I'm online doesn't mean everything around me cease that I'd feel the need to quit the forums entirely just so I can continue on with my life. I hear a lot about this and well, I guess I just don't understand that mindset. Yes, real life is your main priority, I agree wholeheartedly. But just like having the main dish at the table, you also have your side dishes whenever you feel like having them (let's hope life serves you with one or two side dishes at least), and for me, FFF is one of them.

 

[Telegraph]

Wow... some of these responses are really friggen' long, compared to what I'm used to now. The forum I've been a part of for nine years now used to have a majority of members who would post walls of text all the time. Then most of those people left, and a new group moved in. Then they left, and a new group moved in. And so on. Only a few stragglers from the old days remain (and actually, we probably make up the majority now.) But I've kind of come to expect seeing people come and go. Surprised I haven't gone yet, but I suppose I'm addicted to forums.

It's really hard to keep in touch with someone or track them down when all you know of them is a screen name, and they disappear off the face of the earth. I've seen a noticable difference between my relationships with my online friends and my real life friends that I've had through highschool, college, and beyond. Although I've had irl friends who've moved on too, and friends who have changed, and nothing is the same anymore. It's just that it seems to happen a lot faster on the internet. Still can be disappointing when it happens. When you say "hi" to an old friend, but realize you don't really know them anymore. Anyhoo...

 

[DeadFantasy]

Do you expect things like that to stay the way they are forever?


Things will change around us eventually. Whether we want them to, or not so no, I don't expect things to stay the same at all.


How would you approach that situatuion if you let it get that far?

I understand, (just like myself) that people do become too occupied and well, don't have as much as free time and want to focus on things. It is about how you balance out your time though as much as anything.
If one of my friends from the internet decided to go to college and, not so much online anymore I really can't stop that. I'd do everything in my power though, to keep our friendship alive because I value friendship whether its online or not.


How would you feel about never seeing your buds from the net ever again?

Unless it's someone really and i mean really close to me... I probably could move on from losing that someone. There's only a few that I could call friends from the net and well, tbf, we aren't as close anymore due to me being away.

Or maybe your one of them folks who keep it casual and dont get to friendly with people.

I'm a shy person myself and I guess I could say I am that type of person who keeps it casual with people. As much as i'd like to meet people, things just don't always work that way so, I tend to keep it on the DL. If someone took the time to talk to me and I have time as well, why not?

Is there a right time when you should just cut out all that stuff and focus on more important matter?


Well, if foruming and socializing online is important to you as much as your 'Real life' then you shouldn't quit if you don't want to. People handle things differently because well everyone is different and make different decisions. I afterall, came back to this place because I missed it

If things on the net is really a HUGE distraction to you, then yeah you might want to quit temporarily. But like I said, if foruming's important to you, you'll eventually come crawling back to it but, if it isn't then well great, move on with more important things to you. It's really on the person.

 

[Rydia]

Internet Friends

We all have friends on the internet. But how do you feel about people where their only friends are from the internet?

I honestly have no problem with it. Some people just have poor social skills and cannot form real life friendships. If the internet is the only way they can have a friend and it makes them happy, then I am all for it. Yeah, the person can be decieving you or be extremely weird and creepy, but this can happen in real life too. My sister knew someone who told her she was twenty, turns out she was actually thirty and looked very young for her age.

You could say that they should work on their RL social skills, but many have and still have no luck.

I know that people in the generation above mine tend to look down on these types of friendships regardless of how many real life friends someone has.

 

[Kandy-Sugar]

It's not my thing, but that's not to say that it isn't okay.

Some people are very shy and can only feel comfortable speaking to people with the knowledge that they can hide behind their monitor.

I'm more of a social butterfly and I like to get out and do things with my friends, so online friendships aren't the best for me. It's a little boring to say the least, because all you can really do is skype at the most. =/

I like going out shopping etc. I think that if it gets to the point where people aren't leaving their house because they'd rather sit on a computer all day and chat, it's a bit worrying. Some socialising is needed in everyones life.

 

[Naoto Shirogane]

*Reads first posts*

.........

*Sits in corner*

I has no social life. so I cant really answer this. I have 5 friends who I barely see. and I barely leave my house. Im not shy per se. But....Its easier to have friends over the internet than in real life. Atleast it dosent hurt so much when someone walks up to you and calls you a "Disguting little pig"

So from a person has basically only has Online friends. We mostly use the internet as a way to escape. and have some sort of prolonged contact with people. And as I said. Its easier to accept/give insults than it is in real life. on the Internet. You cant be beat up by people. (unless they live near you.) So you can basically Go beserk on people and have no Injuries. But in real life. If you go beserk you just might be pounded into a pulp. So the Internet is a haven of some sorts. a Semi safe place that people like us can use to "fit in". i Trust me. Im one of these people.

/sobs

 

[Valvalis]

Personally, I don't have an issue with it. I have as many friends that i met online as i do friends "IRL" and i barely differentiate between the two groups.

This. I actually have more friends online than IRL at this point, and I don't differentiate between them even one bit. Reason being, all my RL friends that I used to see all the time either lied to me, stood me up, and/or moved away and refused to accept my various contact attempts. So, there's no reason why I should hold them in higher esteem than the people I talk to online who have never or rarely done anything of the sort. I've actually had deeper, more philosophical conversations with some of my online friends than RL friends as well. The method of conversation doesn't matter at all to me because either way, there's still a real person behind the words. Not to mention, if someone is unpleasant to you online, or makes you uncomfortable in some way, it's easier to avoid them so long as they don't know where you live or have your phone number or something :dave: