Who do you look for in a friend?

Kim Taehyung

You shine brighter than anyone ✨
Veteran
Joined
Nov 30, 2006
Messages
1,751
Age
35
Location
Illinois
Gil
14
Awkwardly phrased, but still. :lew: What I'm asking is if there's a particular sex you lean towards when looking for a friend, or at least someone to ask advice from? I've always seemed to have more trust in guys than in girls. May be from way back in elementary when most girls would keep telling secrets that I'd share, but the boys would say it's no big deal and would keep them.

I've had way more guy friends than girl friends, and most of my guy friends I've only seen as friends and nothing more. Of course, there have been about two examples where I started having feelings for them, which of course would kinda ruin what I had in them as just a friend, but for the most part, I've always loved the idea of how guys are just more upfront with opinions and their thoughts.

So what do you guys tend to go for?
 
It would depend on the situation. Some manly matters require a mans thoughts and opinions. Which is basically just a rant over a beer in the pub. But hey, that works.
Honestly it doesnt make that much differtnce to me. Mates are mates regardless of sex. If i trust them then il rant to them anyway.
 
Well, I'm not the sort of person to confide in or really even trust my friends at all regarding personal matters, discussing myself just isn't something I feel particularly comfortable doing, and ultimately I don't honestly think people are all that interested: I'm difficult enough to talk to most of the time as it is, me dumping my personal matters onto my friends would only serve to alienate them from me further. But I doubt I'd have a gender preference if I was going to confide in someone - for me in particular, gender really isn't an issue, it doesn't define who a person is to me...and, if it does then they probably aren't going to be friends with me for very long, because I intensely dislike the mode of thinking that people of a particular gender must act in a particular fashion.

The majority of my friends are female, but that doesn't really mean anything to me, and it's not like I get along with women better than I do men; I have male friends who I enjoy speaking with just as much as my female ones. Everyone pisses me off, and I piss everyone off, and gender has nothing to do with it for me, it doesn't even factor into the process. I've never really looked for anything in a friend, friendships with me just sort of...happen. I don't actively seek people out or force myself upon them (well, I force my opinions on people, but opinions are a lot easier to ignore than the desire for friendship...or they should be, anyway :ahmed:) and, so long as someone can hold up their end of the conversation, I don't care whether they're male, female, or anything else for that matter. It's just...not something I've ever really thought about, I suppose. All that matters to me is how I interact with that person. I treat everyone the same whether they're male or female, so it doesn't matter much to me. xD

On the topic of falling in love with friends briefly...well, being friends with me just means you talk to me on a more regular basis, in all honesty. I don't like getting close to people, and that doesn't really change at all as time goes by; I'm not the sort of person to "lower my defences" or however people want to put it as time goes by. I imagine I seem like a tsundere to most people, but that is only because they get used to me. I've identified myself as asexual for a long time now, although I'm not closed off to the possibility of being demisexual. But still, it would take a hell of a lot for me to feel anything like that for a friend, when I'm already aversed to even making a casual personal connection. This is without even considering the awkwardness of it all...not to mention if I had a close friend like that, I wouldn't want to spoil our existing relationship, because I know how utterly fucked up I am and that trying to push our relationship "to the next level" would only serve to wreck it. I'm not one to take such a risk when I know the chances of it paying off are minimal. Such a friend could be either male or female though; again, I'd have no preference.
 
Imaginary friends aside... :argor:

I don't tend to look. I guess I'm passive in that sense (and many other senses). These things seem to just happen and I don't feel as if I've ever got a consciously active role in forming the friendship. Not that I've had many friendships of the same standard that some people have, but I'd probably consider them friendships.

I just end up being friends with whoever I'm able to speak more with, or who feels like speaking more to me. Often this would end up with me being in the presence of people who talk a lot and I either do not get a word in myself, or am baffled by it and haven't a clue what is going on. In a funny sort of way, I do still consider that friendship as I'd certainly be saying much more to them if I had the voice and personality of Brian Blessed. I do not, however, and you could probably coax more out of a stone.

There are a few people that I genuinely seem to have connected with on an interest level, but such people like this I meet are very rare. I don't have much in common with a lot of people, but I think that is because a lot of people only tend to talk about certain things because they feel that they need to in order to be considered as of this Earth.

In short, I don't tend to look for anything. I don't look at all. I walk about and imitate being a person, and sometimes I'd get to talk to people. Most of the time what comes from me isn't very impressive, so the bigger personalities with the louder voices do all the talking. Sometimes when people don't meet many people who listen to them, they become my friend because I probably listen. Sometimes I get to talk back, and sometimes I might even talk back a lot (for me), and sometimes I might even communicate, but I don't actively seek such friendships. I wouldn't know where to meet them.


EDIT -
As for male or female... I think as a whole I'm probably more comfortable with male. I don't mind either and don't see gender as a barrier to friendship. When I say 'I' I mean the reasoning part of my mind which is active now. The insane aspect of my mind which often haunts me in public situations may automatically freeze me in the presence of the other gender. Such freezes happen generally with men too, but probably more so with women. They're getting better, but they still happen.
 
I am very, very picky when it comes to my friends. Though even my pickiness hasn't saved me from picking shite ones. I'm an odd person, I say odd things, do weird shit and I find things funny that normal people would not, so I often find friendship with like-minded people. I find most of my close friends are weirdos and oddballs but I like it :D we get along and understand each other and don't judge one another when we do something strange.

My closest friends are mostly girls who act a lot like boys :wacky: but I find I can talk easier and make friends faster with guys. They are a lot more fun than girls and I have a lot more in common with them.

My friends must have a sense of humour, I can't talk to someone if they don't find anything funny, those kind of people are a bore.
 
There are two types of friends: the types who are there to make a bad situation seem less bad with humor and laughter, and there's the type that you go to for personal advice, and other such things. In that sense, what I look for in a friend is honesty, and a good sense of what I'm going through no matter the situation. I need friends who can make me laugh but also listen to what I have to say.

I have many different kinds of friends as well. the kinds that I fool aroudn with and sometimes get into some trouble with and those I just like to sit down have a beer with. Like I said, many different types of friends for many different types of situations. However, overall I think friends should just be loyal and be the kind of people you would want to hang out with. Really, that's all that counts for me.
 
A sense of humour is the only thing my friends must have. That is good because most people have a sense of humour so I am friends with most people I meet. Acquaintances would probably be more accurate. I don't take anything seriously so most of my friends are people that don't get offended easily otherwise we'd always be arguing. Although I do always argue with my friends but about shit like whether or not bees sleep.
 
As long as we have the same interests, I don't really care, but I tend to lean towards females more (though, I've yet to come across any female who likes video games/FINAL FANTASY/RPGs just as much as I do.) because most of the males I've run into either hate FINAL FANTASY/RPGs or well....yeah. Hate RPGs and FINAL FANTASY.
 
I'm not really fussy on who my friends are, as long as they aren't the type to mooch money, car rides etc off me. I also don't like to associate with people who don't have a job, as they get bored and find that causing drama in their life and everyone else's fills that hole somehow.

I've had to ditch friends due to that.

So yeah I don't really lean towards a particular gender as such when I make friends, but I do find that guys are easier to talk to. I find I'm really awkward and shy when I try to talk to girls but not so much around boys. Wierd.
 
Most of my close friends are girls. Actually, majority of the people I would consider my friends are girls. I've never had a really close guy friend. :hmmm: I wish I could have one though. I've always wanted to have someone who'll be like a brother to me.

I find it much easier to befriend girls. The only downside to them is if/when they backstab, which luckily enough, doesn't happen to me too often.

In general, I'm not going to say I have a requirement when it comes to making friends. I think a sense of humor is pretty easy to come by, since I can see that most of my peers have it. As long as they're not rude to me or other people, they're fine. :hmmm:
 
Ehh, if you're a WWE fan, that'll help our friendship tons. Other than that, they just have to be cool, man. I don't care about anything else really. If you're cool with me, I'll be cool with you. Simple as that. However when it comes to sharing my feelings, I do prefer to talk to males. A male that cares about another male's feelings is hard to come by, but when you do find one, it's pretty awesome. They'll offer honest advice and be there for you no matter what. I can't say the same from my experiences with females.
 
I'm literally friends with anyone who doesn't act like a total twat. For example, someone who insults people constantly.
I'm really not fussy :lew:
 
I honestly don't look for anything in a friend. If somebody comes along and gets along with me, and we all have a great time then that's that. To me, it doesn't matter if you're male, female or anything in between. If we get along, then we can be friends. I don't give a shit about what they do for a living or in their spare time. It doesn't matter to me if they work or not or if they workout or not.

Though, I have made a habit of falling for female friends- if they don't like me, so be it. I don't think I've ever cut a friend off because of that.

At the end of the day, if you're a good person and not a total dick all the time you're around me I'll probably get along with you.

Then again, I can be a hard person to get along with... The sarcastic little prick I am.
 
When it comes to making friends, I'd like to think that I normally get along with anyone, no matter, who they are, what their beliefs may be, or interests are. My philosophy is in order to have friends, you have to be a friend. When I see people by themselves I go and check on them, because I know what it's like to be alone, and no one should ever go without at least one friend. I always try to maintain a sense of humility and not come off as arrogant to people, that way I can be easier to approach. When it comes to me making friends, it kind of different, as I tend to keep things to myself, but in due time, depending on how comfortable I am with this individual, I'll be more opened. Granted if you're a football, and wrestling fan that'll make things interesting, but you can pretty much talk to me about anything,
 
I do not look for specific qualities or people to be my friend, I just end up getting to know certain people because we get on well. I think it would be strange if you only made friends who fit certain criteria. And bees do sleep.
 
Back
Top