[V4] What's Your Mood?

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Mood: Semi relieved.

I'm still unsure whether I buy the information or not... However, I was getting read for UPS to stop by with a box to send my PC back to HP and get the sound issue checked out. However, since yesterday the issue seemed... gone. I called them today because I rather wait until the issue sparks up again - instead of missing the computer for 2-3-4 weeks without them finding an issue cause I didn't run into it anymore either...

Called them and the guy told me it was a bad Intel update and that they didn't know until Monday evening (I called in the early morning). I'm a bit skeptical on if it's actually fixed, because I didn't see an update from Intel from after the issue was supposedly fixed, so hmmmm... Suspicious. No costs for me, though. Although UPS is supposedly bringing over the box today, and I kinda wanna go grocery shopping... I kinda feel guilty with them ringing the doorbell and no one answering. :gonk: May stay home instead... -.- Sigh. I just hope the issue is honestly gone.
 
Mood: Isolated and anxious, but starting to accept things.

I don’t usually comment on this thread, but other people experience the therapeutic benefits of putting this stuff out there, so I will endeavour to emulate. Few people read it anyway!

In short, the past 6 months have been difficult. I’m now the most isolated that I’ve ever been in my life. I thought I was lonely when I was a teenager, but that was just me being a quiet lad in classrooms populated by 30 or so other human beings who I sometimes interacted with and even befriended from time to time (therefore not lonely).

Now, however, I experience a truer form of isolation. My best friend died. My other friends gained wider circles and all moved on. I see people and speak to people all of the time (as I do still roam the earth), but I don’t really have ‘friends’ as such. I don't go out and do things with people very often, but I have started to go to a few things now. This isolation took a while to hit me, since my niece was born several weeks after my friend died and she provided a good distraction for a while.

I’ve also become an unbearable hypochondriac, and I’m rather ashamed of this despite it being a fairly natural reaction to dealing with the death of someone close to yourself in age. My symptoms are real and not imagined, but they may at least in part be psychosomatic in origin. My vision has degenerated and turned blurry/milky. My heart beats rapidly. I’m dizzy. I often cannot sleep. My limbs often feel heavy. Sometimes I get tremors in my fingers. In the past month I’ve been retching uncontrollably. The thing that puts the icing on this ludicrous cake is that I’ve accidentally fallen for someone as well (but requital will be unlikely), and this has increased all of these symptoms. Ha. Our silly earth! :argor:

I had been concerned about all of these things… But today I’ve decided to group them all together and I'll have a go at forgetting about them. All of these symptoms could be explained as anxiety and stress-induced. I guess that’s it. I don't want to label myself or let it define my personality though. I'm still me, I just don't have many opportunities to express 'me' at the moment. No matter.

I’ll tell myself that for now.

Life shall get better as I shall not go without fighting for it. The world isn’t all that bad sometimes (despite all the horrific things and terrible opinions that people hold). These moments happen sometimes in our lives. I’ll deal with it as best as I can and I’ll see what I can do on this planet from here on.
 
Arsed.

Worked 12 hour shifts all week and im totally knackered. It was only 2 months ago we had no work in but now wer swamped with jobs. Ive been put in charge over the main job in the shop right now so ive been working long hours to try and get it done. I planned to work Today and Sunday but when i woke up this morning i thought fuck this. I have a bit of a bug and feel a bit shite so i told them il see em monday and thats that. Im thankfull for overtime as i need the money but fuck me im exhausted. I get up at 5.30am and i aint getting home til almost 8pm and doing that night after night is pish. In my endless efforts to have my hoose looking how i want it ive been scraping wallpaper. There was a time i thought washing dishes to be the worst task in the world however that was blown to bits after trying to scrape shitty textured wallpaper which has been on a wall for probably 20 years. Even with a steamer its a cunt. Ive took some of it off only to realise that the walls underneath are a fucking mess and il need to re plaster everything. Please cut me some slack life.
 
Dionysos - Hang in there, bud. You've got friends and family in us, don't forget that.

Mood: Good

I'm about to make some champurrado. Usually I make the filipino-style (champorado), but this time I'm trying the Mexican recipe. House chores are done, so I will be gaming for the rest of the afternoon and kick back with my kids while drinking our hot chocolate drink...thingy. Never made it before, so.

On another note, some gross overly-muscled guy was at the gym showing off his bulkiness. Obviously wanted attention since he was grunting loudly and screaming "FUUCCCKK" every time he lifted those dumbbells. I was trying not to laugh when I sat down next to him (since my husband was right next to him while working out as well), but that was too cheesy.
 
Mood: Great

I'm going to San Diego for spring break next week, I was going to go to LA originally but my cousin never got back to me if she wanted me to still go.
I haven't been on vacation in about...I think 3 or 4 years, not sure which of the two but i know it has been a long while. I had to change my number a few days ago due to a recent incident but i won't go into that here.
 
Mood: Lost in thought.

That is exactly how I feel at this very moment. I am only thinking of my work and nothing else. I need to get a good mark on my presentation and essays to have a satisfying summer. There is so much to play this summer and I cannot wait to get started. I am not exactly in the best kinds of moods right now because I have so much to do. I am glad that my professor cancelled both classes today because it means I will not be finishing at 8pm at night, and I did do some work today. One thing I am quite iffy about is the many cancelled classes I have been experiencing this semester. To make matters worse, my program is on strike against austerity and I am losing two more classes on the first and second of April. Yeah, I am happy I get an even longer Easter weekend but seriously, come on. I cannot expect to read the three last books and neglect the philosophy I am doing for my presentation and essays. *sigh* I truly am in a terrible situation. I go to uni to learn, and I get all these unexpected classes cancelled. Oh well, Nietzsche is the only thing on my mind now.

PS: Bloodborne came out today, and I am very jealous of people playing it who are free now, unlike me. Reviews say it is extremely good.
 
Mood: Apathetic

A bit confusing propably. Lately I've constantly been plagued by a lack of interest in anything. Hobbies and such no longer satisfy me like they used to, and a lot of things that I have been looking forward to have ended in severe disappointment. I'm more or less scared of getting exited about anything right now, because I just know I'll be left disappointed. I'm hoping something comes along that manages to brighten my mood.
 
Mood: Good

Reason: It's Friday night. Another work week is over and I'm chillin with a bourbon and listening to music.

Steve's making dinner too. :ryan:

Gonna be a short week next week cos of Easter holidays.
We're off to visit our friends on one of the islands off the coast and spend a couple of days there while we have some time off too.

Really looking forward to it. :)
 
Mood: Pessimistic; somewhat mixed

I'm sitting here look at the few applications I have drawn up for summer work placements in various law firms and I'm not happy with any of them. There's a good mix of pure honesty and some deliberate flowery descriptions of my past experience (without going into outlandish territory, obviously. Never do that!) and yet I've no actual pride for what I've written. I've done the sufficient research and I've put in great care into compiling good applications, but I'm still gloomy at the thought that it's not enough. Amidst the inevitable hundreds, if not a thousand, other applications, have I done enough? What more can I actually do at this point? I have chosen to dive into what could be one of the most competitive and difficult career sectors; it's a sector that I am likely to fit into like a glove, but when it's also one of the most popular ones to go for? Well, let's just say I've already picked my fight, for better or worse. My mind is just refusing to rise above the parapet of pessimism, which is an awful, awful attitude to have. >.>

Tomorrow morning is another canvassing session, as is much of next week. No one enjoys doing it, quite frankly. Even this young councillor candidate (19 years old!) can't be arsed doing it, which makes me question her dedication to the position and how much she WANTS the job. Weather reports tell me it will rain, which will double the already sky-high chances of people not bothering to open their doors on a Saturday morning. Yes, election season can be an exciting time for anyone who cares, but spare a thought for people like me who have volunteered their time to serve their political party of choice and who are suffering at the door for it, looking like dodgy, but lost Jehovah's Witnesses.

Heck, for all I know, given how hated my party is up here, I'd get a warmer reception by knocking the door and presenting myself AS a Jehovah's Witness.
 
Mood: Not baaaaad

Reason: Absolutely exhausted (like usual) but just had a chinese which was pretty damn amazing. Stuffed :griin:. I think I'll play some Skies of Arcadia later after giving it a break. Kind of got to that point where you overplay a game and it becomes a chore.
Anyways, yes. Pretty happies :monocle:.
 
Mood: Good/kinda worried though

Today I'm having some friends over and we're eating some wings, drinking some alcohol, and watching Wrestlemania. I just have this weird feeling that despite the get together being fun, the ppv will suck insanely bad. WWE ppv's in general have been pretty shitty to say the least. NXT though? Fucking amazing.
So yeah, we shall see how this goes!
 
Mood: Much better!

I know I am so negative with these posts but now I feel so much better. Yesterday was pretty shit because I got to class late for my presentation due to a printer problem. My papers refused to print for 30 minutes at school and at home, my word sub ran out. Yeah, weird. However, let us get to the positive thoughts. Do you remember all that work I keep complaining about all the time? Turns out the three major essays, all had an extension until the end of the term, which is April 16th/17th or so. In addition, students are striking against the government for austerity, which means class is cancelled tomorrow, and Thursday. That + Easter = I am off until Tuesday. I now can have an amazing break from work, considering I have been killing myself for the last week or so trying to get things done. I am in a very good mood now! I can just dance!
 
Mood: Blah

Is that even a mood? Well, it is now. I'm unsure how I feel at the moment. Stressful days building up and having a really short fuse when it comes to patience, which isn't like me at all. It kind of irritates me that the little things in life get to me this week, normally I'd brush it off, but eh. Aside from that, we have a plumber coming over this Tuesday to fix our bathroom drain, and two hours later on that same day a technician from our Internet Provider is stopping by to fix some dumb stuff regarding my Ping. Ugh.

Because of my short fuse I've not really been able to deal with people as well as I normally would, and I'm just really tired of people being overly dramatic. Let it go. Ffs. Family, friends, acquaintances, idiots! Bah. Nooo patience to deal with people who "make an elephant out of a mosquito" as we Dutchies would say. Same goes for my cousin, sat there with a pissed off rant about how she feels she deserves more government income... Uuuurgh. Shut up.

So yeah, that.
 
Mood: Sorted

Patience can get you a long way. :D If there's one thing I'm thankful for it's being able to sit through a conversation patiently to sort things out, and thankfully all that happened this week (yes, already, and it's only Tuesday!)

Plus, we had a plumber come in today, and the bathroom drain has been sorted. Needless to say this called for a bubbly shower, and maybe even later tonight a bath as well! Achey anyway, so it should only help. We also had a technician come in today but apparently the dude had no clue what he was talking about (Internet related) and apparently never heard of a "high Ping" or Ping to begin with... Oh dear. It's pretty uncomfortable when you have to give "actual information" to what is supposed to be the expert on the field...
 
Mood: Disappointed

A job I was counting on for having over the summer turned up negative. Had an e-mail on Friday saying would here more on the 6th, yesterday actually. And it just said I would not be considered for one of the summer job positions.
 
Mood: Sleepy and very irritated about everything

Reason: Not sure. I think the heat has made me sleepy, but I normally get hyper? I normally feel really happy too when the sun and warmth are around so I'm not sure what happened today lmao. Oh wells, tomorrow's another day :monocle:.
 
Mood: 40% Fed up, 60% Cathartic

Reasons:
I've very recently come to a realisation; the way I live my life in regards to others is unhealthy. I try to claim I live for myself, when infact all I do is step around, avoiding the enviable situation of hurting someone. I always seem to claim I'm "Independent", yet I walk on eggshells and hold my opinions- my voice- in to avoid problems.

I'm actually doing more damage to the people I care about by keeping my opinions to myself; I'm letting resentment build up. I'm beginning to feel heavy with it, I'm beginning to hate these people and take it out on others. I'm becoming something I really never wanted to be.

On the same note, I've also realised that in life, there are some people who are simply not worth trying to win over. What you do, when you do it or how you do it will never be enough to sate them or make them happy; they just want more. It's truly not worth it.

So... Yeah. Lots of truths I've to deal with now, lots of trite bullshit I have to go over in my head... Hence my recent lack of appearances here!
 
Mood: Alright

Went to get groceries, came back home, put the bike away, realized I forgot my house keys. Rofl. :wacky: Called my cousin to see if she was home and just went there until my mom could drop of the spare keys. :lew: That was something. Pretty annoyed, but it was a beautiful day out, so who cares about the extra bike ride.

Had a good conversation with her and I just feel completely picked up again. Everyone has ups and downs in their lives but it's good to have things sorted and some "sort of" inner peace about certain things. Yay for that.
 
Mood: Restless/Fatigued

Reason: Recently I've been really tired and wary of my surroundings. After living with a crazy, messy, broke drug addict and her heroin druggie thief of a boyfriend for the last month I've been exhausted in home life. Since they don't pay bills I have to compensate with money from my other jobs, and since the landlord wont take action against them I'm thinking about just bailing on the house entirely. However I can't bail because I don't have enough money to move out because of their stupid unpaid utility bills. Hopefully my spring kickball league will ease the stress a bit. Escapism ftw!
 
Mood: Bleh/indifferent

I am feeling sick today and missed yet another university class. Luckily, it is not as bad as last night. I had horrid tooth pain coupled with a cold, which left a very unpleasant feeling in my mouth. Now I just have the cold so it is not as bad, but still kind of is. I also have a weird feeling in my ears and it is annoying. I get sick easily so I guess I should not be asking why I am. There is only a week left of university and all essays are due next week on the Thursday and Friday. I started, but I need to get my arse moving the same. After that, I have exams, which are scary, but I cannot wait until it is over. Oh yeah, I also played with my psn friend on Revelations 2 last night and the night before and she carried me good. I unlocked all of Claire’s outfits now so that is nice!
 
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