Sometimes I just can't stand you ಠ_ಠ

Tmoo

Red Mage
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Sometimes, my friends like to hang around too much and it grates on my nerves. My house isn't your personal playground dammit, find something else to do! Just 'cause I've got a big screen TV and you want to watch a movie ಠ_ಠ

And the food I bought from the mart that's meant to last me a good while, is gobbled up in minutes. Damn freeloaders, that shit ain't free!

I love 'em, really, known them forever, but sometimes, I can't stand them. I can't be the only one to feel like this.
 
I kind of understand what you mean, allthough those times were more or less in highschool. Anyway the problem I had those years ago is that whenever friends hang around in your enviorment it seems to restrict what you can personally do. Somehow you feel obligated to entertain or host them while they are around. I mean it feels wierd if you just ignore them and do whatever while they lounge around.
 
Don't you invite your friends in before they visit? Or do they assume they're welcome and barge in? If it's the former, it might be best to invite them less often. If they invite themselves, don't let them in. :S They have no right to assume they're welcome.

Furthermore, have you ever told them that you can't afford to feed them all of the food they eat? If yours is the only house the group visits, they can't expect you to pay for their eating habits every time the group meets. Let them know that the food is meant to last YOU for a while and suggest that each person buys and brings one or two snacks to share, like a bag of crisps, a bag of chocolate, or a pizza.

In answer to the question, it is difficult playing the role of host, but it's important too. If I invite someone into my home, it's important that I make them feel comfortable and welcome. I hate being invited to someone's home, only to find that I'm expected to entertain myself and cook my own food (this happened when I visited an old friend for the first time in years). What's the point in that? I'd rather be at home. :lew:
 
My friends and I hardly see each other as it is, but when we do, they're always welcome at our place. We don't mind ordering pizza or picking up a few things at the store.

The only person I couldn't stand is my husband's friend that lives in Ohio. Three years ago when we moved back to California, he stayed with us for a week. I've never been so annoyed at anyone who's not a family member. He was such a mooch. He knew that we were kinda struggling a bit starting out at our new place, what with buying a bunch of household items and not enough time for grocery shopping (since we had no fridge at the time yet), so we ate out a lot that week he was here. He never bothered to say his thanks whenever we took him places and paid for his meal. Not once did I see him take out his wallet to buy his own stuff. He didn't even ask, "Hey, you got the bill?" after each meal - he just kept saying, "I AM BATMAN!!! My Fatheeerrr..."

Well he got his wish. He'll be in the next Batman movie, as a backup. Unfortunately, he'll be moving to Burbank, California next year to pursue his filming career, and I know he'll be all over food when given the chance again. I hope that by next year, we'll be living somewhere far, far away from him...
 
I feel you op

I was like that a few years ago but if you think to yourself that its just their way then your kiddin yourself. Its a fundamental disrespect. What you gotta ask yourself is would they do that shit to just anyone else or is it because you're being accommodating (soft) that they're doing it to you? Don't let em go through your fridge. Give people and inch, they take a mile, etc...
 
Take out the "sometimes" in that and you've summed me up pretty well, even without meaning to I radiate hostility towards practically everything; even people I've known for years are careful around me sometimes, as though they expect me to explode at any second...which is annoying in itself.

In truth, there are very few people I absolutely cannot stand, and I tend to avoid them. People are always getting on my nerves, but it's always something trivial that I can ignore...if I kept calling people out every time they pissed me off then they'd probably stop talking to me pretty quickly. This is probably why I don't have m/any friends. xD

My advice would be just to let them have it if they take advantage of you like that again...they'll quickly learn not to. There is fine line between being a good friend and being a doormat, if people cross that line they should be booted back over the other side of it with sufficient force that they won't be able to sit down for weeks, figuratively speaking.
 
if I kept calling people out every time they pissed me off then they'd probably stop talking to me pretty quickly. This is probably why I don't have m/any friends. xD
Ditto for me. I have a long list of pet-peeves (like not washing hands before touching one of my controllers!) and I'd probably drive them away if I called out every little thing, heh.

Harlequin said:
Its a fundamental disrespect. What you gotta ask yourself is would they do that shit to just anyone else or is it because you're being accommodating (soft) that they're doing it to you? Don't let em go through your fridge. Give people and inch, they take a mile, etc...
Haven't really thought of that before. I do think they're good people at heart (I've known them for who knows how long). I agree that I need to re-establish boundaries. I tend to be very accommodating, though I expect equal respect and consideration in return, and having my food cleared out is neither. It is sort of morbidly entrancing to watch women (and one guy) whop down food so brashly. Among which, were the chocolates, a loaf of Hawaiian sweet bread...my iced tea...and my mousse cake...two bowls of popcorn...my last two bananas...two packs of ramen............a pizza......



I'm thinking I'll just have them over a lot...less, and go out with them more instead.


...and I'll make them foot my bill in repayment :raye:
 
Haven't really thought of that before. I do think they're good people at heart (I've known them for who knows how long). I agree that I need to re-establish boundaries. I tend to be very accommodating, though I expect equal respect and consideration in return, and having my food cleared out is neither. It is sort of morbidly entrancing to watch women (and one guy) whop down food so brashly. Among which, were the chocolates, a loaf of Hawaiian sweet bread...my iced tea...and my mousse cake...two bowls of popcorn...my last two bananas...two packs of ramen............a pizza......



I'm thinking I'll just have them over a lot...less, and go out with them more instead.


...and I'll make them foot my bill in repayment :raye:

Yeah I get that they can be cool people but sometimes people aren't disrespectful on purpose but just through a complete lack of consideration and that's no excuse for what they do. The fact that they didn't think twice about hanging around your house eating your food and watching your TV right in front of you just goes to show what they think of you. It might sound harsh but if they respected you they wouldn't pull that shit right under your nose like that. I've had that problem before and you have to be abit of a dick to some people but it's worth it if that's what it takes for people to respect your things.
 
Ah I sympathise with you greatly... I have a similar situation going on myself.

I love this person dearly... and well... would do anything for them. But... It seems every free moment I have they are there. EVERY SINGLE MOMENT!!!!!!
Yesterday is an example. I was meant to be alone for the evening, and honestly I was looking forward to it. At last I could relax. I cooked a lovely meal, put on my DVD and opened an unexciting bottle of water. Then... 2 minutes later someone is knocking the door... Guess who?!
So they come in, eat my food... drink my water... turn off my DVD and then say they wanted to be here instead and lets go out to an opening party..

I NEED SPACE O_O

Just a little time for me... When you are constantly with someone sometimes little things can add up and that leads to a major world-threatening explosion.

Dangerous business.

I'm hoping tonight to be alone.. but already I have heard the words.. 'see you later..'
 
My friends i have currently are actually really polite when they come round to my house. I have no problems, they always ask before looking in the fridge and i have to FORCE them to eat snacks hahaha.

I used to have this one friend though back in the day who would eat everything!!! Just one girl was so hungry that after she left the cupboards were almost bare :| The way I fixed this was I never invited her over unless I really had to. I was lucky she didn't 'pop over' uninvited.

I'm not really sure how you can fix your problem. Maybe buy a select set of snacks for your friends and hide everything else you've got that they might want hahaha...or tell them to stop being such greedy pigs.
 
Roland_Deschain said:
Somehow you feel obligated to entertain or host them while they are around.
It's the urge to be a good host. Be a good host, and the guests will be well-mannered in return...is the philosophy.
Lirael said:
I hate being invited to someone's home, only to find that I'm expected to entertain myself and cook my own food

I know what you mean. I enjoy having people over, but I suppose that hospitality is sometimes taken for granted. I'll be having guests much less often now if I can help it.
Mitsuki said:
I hope that by next year, we'll be living somewhere far, far away from him...

Sounds like a textbook bum, haha.
I've had that problem before and you have to be abit of a dick to some people but it's worth it if that's what it takes for people to respect your things.
You have a point. I'll be more stringent on what I allow.
Draco Malfoy said:
Just one girl was so hungry that after she left the cupboards were almost bare :|
Yep, that's exactly how it is in my situation. I always felt guilty for hiding snacks when I was little, it seems funny to have to hide food from 20-something year olds.
Summer said:
I NEED SPACE O_O
In my case they don't come over every day or show up unannounced, though they do bug me about 'being a hermit'. They're all extraverts, I'm the only introvert I know of around here. I need to find more dorks lol.
 
I'm the only introvert I know of around here. I need to find more dorks lol.

Amen to that... I know how you feel haha!
Perhaps you could lock them inside and convert them once and for all :ryan:

OKay I say I need space.. but maybe that is too harsh. Just sometimes if they would ask is some things is okay... or if they ask me to be with them they don't just leave to do my own stuff which I can do better at my place...
Does that even make sense? xD
 
Its up to you to tell them when theyre outta line. People will walk all over you if you dont make a stand. Sometimes with mates its easier for them to assume that theyre not taking advantage because yer pals with them.

I dont have any friends like that anyway. We all work and we all make out own living. If i buy a round of beers then theyl be sure to get the next one in. Most of them nowadays refuse a lend of money because they hate owing.

I did work with a guy though who was the ultimate sponge. Got a spare smoke? Can i borrow your phone? Got £2 for the burger van etc. Stuff like that. I helped him out a few times but as soon as i caught on that he was a sponger i didnt bother my arse with him. Everyone in work knew what he was like yet there were still a couple of people who just wouldnt say no.
 
I am not really sure what that is like to be honest, I rarely eat stuff at a pal's house. If I do it's normally because I have been offered something, except tea, I always ask for tea. Though it works the same way when they're in mine, if they're your pals they should be cool if you just mention it to them
 
I've never really had that problem luckily.

My friends never just pop over uninvited and when they are invited over they never just raid my cupboards or fridge or touch my things etc.

I'm not sure what I would say if they did though. :hmmm: I'm very shy and would have a hard time saying anything. Steve probably wouldn't have trouble though. XD
 
My old friends used to do this a lot. When they came over, everything would get fucked up. Don't even think about having a cushion on the couch by the end of the night. Those fuckers probably got flung out of a window. Seriously, it's immature. We were 13 when this happened. I'm the one sitting quietly watching SpongeBob, while they're just destroying everything. Not to mention all the damn hot dogs they ate when they came over. :ffs:
 
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