I think I already know that what I'm fretting about is probably not a big deal, but I feel terrible. Here's my situation: It's almost the end of the Christmas Holidays (for me), and it's really boring. I only have like two friends I can every hang out with, and they're almost always busy or they just don't feel like seeing me. About 75% of my holidays have been sitting at my computer like a basement dweller with no life. It's not like I have anything else to do. It's freezing out and I have bad asthma reactions to the winter weather... And since it's so dry out my legs get dry and then they're itchy for about an hour afterwards, so screw going outside... But here's my real issue, please take your time to read:
When I'm trying to cope with this extreme loneliness during these days, the girl I like just HAS to organize a hangout "session" with the two of my best friends. The great thing is, I'm being left out. I don't really know why she would leave my out, but I'm apparently not 'good enough' to go. The one best friend who she's taking who's male, still likes her. I like her too. (Somehow we got over our conflicts in liking the same girl) and he might even be all by himself with her because the other friend who she wishes to invite (who's a girl) might be busy. So he can just have another 1 on 1 session with her and I can get all jealous, and they'll probably have a moment or something, maybe even start a relationship and I won't know about it for a week when someone leaks it. I've always been jealous of this male friend, and it's obvious she prefers him over me, because she invites him, and just leaves me out in this little bundle of fun they plan on having. Their 'fun day out' is probably about to start in a few minutes, and I'll just sit home and probably go back to bed. I even sent her a message over Facebook asking if I could go if the female friend was busy... It also doesn't help that I'm usually always over-emotional and overreact to every little thing... But seriously, I didn't know this girl that I like enjoyed being such a bitch to me. She already found out that I like her, and she knows my male friend likes her too. She might feel the same towards him... This day is just not going well. I just feel like turfing them all together, just eff them.
When I'm trying to cope with this extreme loneliness during these days, the girl I like just HAS to organize a hangout "session" with the two of my best friends. The great thing is, I'm being left out. I don't really know why she would leave my out, but I'm apparently not 'good enough' to go. The one best friend who she's taking who's male, still likes her. I like her too. (Somehow we got over our conflicts in liking the same girl) and he might even be all by himself with her because the other friend who she wishes to invite (who's a girl) might be busy. So he can just have another 1 on 1 session with her and I can get all jealous, and they'll probably have a moment or something, maybe even start a relationship and I won't know about it for a week when someone leaks it. I've always been jealous of this male friend, and it's obvious she prefers him over me, because she invites him, and just leaves me out in this little bundle of fun they plan on having. Their 'fun day out' is probably about to start in a few minutes, and I'll just sit home and probably go back to bed. I even sent her a message over Facebook asking if I could go if the female friend was busy... It also doesn't help that I'm usually always over-emotional and overreact to every little thing... But seriously, I didn't know this girl that I like enjoyed being such a bitch to me. She already found out that I like her, and she knows my male friend likes her too. She might feel the same towards him... This day is just not going well. I just feel like turfing them all together, just eff them.
