How far would you go to support your friend?

Warrior of Light

Warrior of Light

Be a Survivor; not a Statistc
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I’ve always been puzzled by this one, and I’d like to know what people thought of it: how far would you go to support your friend? What if your friend told a lie? Would you support them in said lie? What if they stole something? Beat someone up? Cheated on someone? Committed a felony? Murdered someone? What, if anything, would stop you from supporting them?

To me anything unconditional is blind. People can change or be someone you never thought them to be. A guy who is nice to you but an a-hole to the waiter is not a nice guy, IMO. I can forgive smaller indiscretions, so long as they admitted it, but I have no forgiveness for a friend who seriously harms another person willing, happily and/or repeatedly.

By ignoring your friend’s wrongdoing you not only are a bad person to the person whose being mistreated, you’re also betraying your own friend by not stopping them before they become someone who’s jailed. And you even betray yourself by accepting friendship from a person not worthy of it. Also consider that while this person might only be cruel to someone you don’t know what makes you think that that will remain civil to you? That one day they won’t turn on you too?

I’ve seen so many cases where people remain loyal to people who do things they admit disgust them. Not simple harmless things…things that involve sheer vindictiveness and cruelty to another human being. If this were done by someone other than their friend they’d quickly denounce the person, but they turn a blind eye when it’s their friend. It’s like the moment they become a friend that person no longer had to abide by laws, civil or moral.

In the end, to me, holding one’s self to a standard of principles is more important that having a gaggle of disreputable friends. I’d rather be a loner than the friend of a murderer.
 
Well considering some of my closest friends have done some rather horrid things it dosent mean they are a bad person its just the things they have done are bad.
Mostly my friends are smart enough not to put me in a situation where my own personal morals are put at risk and to me thats what a frind is so all in all ive never realy had this problem..mabey I just chose good friends..
I would go to nany leingths to support a friend if I believed in them or crush them with reality...since they expect me to do that.
But all in all my friends respect me so whatever I dont need to know about I dont they wouldnt risk me or my feelings by their acts........So all in all it depends on what they did but it still wouldnt matter because to me they didnt do said act.
I think for a good friend id do anything...but it depends on who the friend is and what would be expected of me....so I realy dont have a limit I guess.

 
once i had a friend that had a twisted mind,he would freaken break someones face if they piss him off(cuz they would talk about him being the teachers pet or his background),he has gone completely psycho,i met up with one of his old friends and he told me that the guy has gone psycho,"dont ever be friends with him".
 
If it was a white lie, then yeah Id back them up and visa versa. But if they stole and asked me to help or cover up, then I would have a problem. I love my friends to bits, but there is a lie that can be crossed and I know deep down none of them would cross it unless it was nessacary.
 
I'm a solitary person.

I make a lot of friends, but I trust very few of them. I trust at least 11 people of the crowd of friends that I've made over the years.

But I'm willing to help out if a friend needs support.

I'll be honest, I wouldn't do much, but I would just show up to let them know that I care.
 
Personally, I probably wouldn't go very far. If it could end badly for me, then I won't even get into it. They should know better than to get themselves into something like that anyway (stealing, felony, etc).

I would, however, help them out if it was something really small. A little lie, I'd go along with. Such as something to do with school or their parents. Something harmless.

I keep my word when I say that I would never help out a friend who committed a horrible crime such as murder. That is something that I would never be able to forget about, if things went as the friend wanted them to. It would probably scar me. Really, any crime like that committed by a friend of mine makes them a former friend.
 
If the line is crossed and my friend contemplates a crime such as thievery or committing GBH - let alone murder - that is as far as it goes. it's always nice to remain faithful to a friend, but I would never assist or cover up for a "friend" who is or has committed a crime, regardless of the magnitude. Fortunately I have never faced a situation where I have had to make that decision.
 
I love my friends dearly but, I'd only go so far. If they were to commit a murder then that would just freak me out 'cause what if I gotten in an argument or something and they wanted to murder me? Now I'm not saying that they would but, it would still haunt me if I knew about them committing to such things and I just played along. Of course i would turn them in. I wouldn't want to and i would see why they would go to that extent but, I wouldn't just let them off the hook because they were my friends if I saw a murderer (who did it) i'd tell the police.
 
This is a really tough question. For me it would entirely depend on the circumstances, and whether I thought it was appropriate for me to intervene or not. If he or she was doing something on purpose to hurt other people I would definitely have to step in, not only for the sake of the people harmed but also for my friend's sake; if they were in that kind of mental state they might not be thinking about the guilt they might feel later and I would want to try to help them avoid being in that situation if at all possible. If it was something that harmed only themselves, however, my intervention would depend on whether I thought they could learn a lesson from facing the consequences of whatever they were doing, without getting into too much trouble. For example, my best friend used to do lots of drugs, and even though I occasionally mentioned to her how bad it was for her, I gave up after a while, figuring that one day she'd end up in a situation that made her not want to do them anymore. And sure enough, the people she hung out with who gave her the drugs started getting in trouble with the cops, and she got so scared by the situation that she went to rehab, and eventually moved out of state to get away from the people she'd been doing drugs with so that she wouldn't be tempted to hang with the wrong crowd anymore. And now she's doing a lot better. If she had been repeatedly hospitalized by the drugs or something and still kept doing them, I would have tried harder to get her to stop, but I think sometimes people just need to find their own way; and even if they are wonderful, loyal friends (like this person for me), they can still have their own internal problems that they need to deal with on their own. And I don't think you shouldn't be friends with them over that just on principle; it's really just a matter of how much their ideals conflict with yours, and if they start consciously doing things that disgust you then that should be the point at which you start reevaluating your relationship with them.
 
If a friend is engaged in something less than moral or unlawful, I would not support him or her with it, even if he/she asked. What he/she chooses to do is entirely his/her affair, and has nothing to do with me. Unless what my friend does is something that affects me directly, and is not in my best interests, I have no reason to bother with it. If I lose a friendship with someone because I refused to help them do something I did not agree with, then so be it; perhaps he or she wasn't worth being my friend, and I just didn't realize it yet because I didn't know that he or she was going to do that. There is no such thing as no secrets among friends; there will always be secrets. There will always be something your friends might be holding from you for one reason or another, and if you discover it, you should not be alarmed, so long as you didn't assume to know everything there is to know about your friends.
 
I'm a pretty unforgiving person, and hardly focus my concerns on other people; even if they're my friend. It really just depends on the situation. I'll just answer the proposed questions:

What if your friend told a lie? Would you support them in said lie? What if they stole something? Beat someone up? Cheated on someone? Committed a felony? Murdered someone? What, if anything, would stop you from supporting them?
Click to expand...


Depends on how the lie would affect me. If it was a little white lie or something that wouldn't have extreme repercussions, say, for a joke, I would support them. If the lie involved me in some sort of negative light, I wouldn't bother.

If they beat someone up, it depends. If they were in legal troubles and they were at fault, I would agree they should accept the consequences. If it was for self-defense, I would weigh the facts and probably be more supportive.

If they cheated on someone, I couldn't give a damn. That's their relationship. Their business. If a friend was being cheated on, I would hold the same attitude. I don't care to get involved in such petty circumstances.

If they committed a felony, they would have to deal with the consequences.

If they murdered someone, I would be shocked and react accordingly to the degree. Sometimes murder is just manslaughter due to ignorance.


Basically, the defining factor that would convince me not to support a friend is whether I agree with them or not or hold the same issues to a similar value. I tend not to care about the same things people hold to such high regards (social situations, etc), so all of that wouldn't be enough for me to give much of a damn.
 
Once a few of my friends started to get this way I just got rid of them.

I didn't stand by them at all.

As soon as they changed for the worst, I noticed and did not support anything horrible they said or did.

I don't care if they were nice once upon a time, right then and there they were complete jerks to the point in which I just couldn't allow myself to be associated with them anymore.

I could never remain loyal to people who do things I'm completely against.
 
Though I agree with most of what the TC said, I do tend to find that situations are rarely that black and white. It is not always possible to understand the motive's behind another person's action, and it is very easy to judge someone based purely on what you observe as being a wrong-doing, when it is in fact not one.

I tend to take my time to figure out a situation, but I will always stand up for someone if I believe they are in the right, no exceptions. Those who are harassed after doing no wrong deserve to have someone to stand up for them. And that doesn't just apply to friends. Everyone deserves it.

The opposite is also true though - if I believe that someone is guilty of something, I will stand by my conviction of their guilt forever, and forgiveness is not an option unless they do something to prove that they're sorry.
 
This is a tough one, and hopefully no one has had it as rough as me with friends. I have to say, I was pretty loyal to backing my friends at what time until I figured out what some's true intentions were. Some folks you can tell are naturally bad folks who wish to do harm to others at their own expense, but some are just misguided from time to time.

Some folks cover their tracks with a white lie.. which often times is just to break it to someone easy, so I don't frown on this unless it's just constant BS. Now if it is real lying to me, I shut them down fast and confront them. If by chance they do say they are sorry.. well then I give them one last forgiven chance.

I know people are imperfect and some folks like I said are misguided due to the other friends they had or lack of friends they had.

The thing I'm noticing as I'm getting older is Highschool never died for some folks. I had a buddy, who is no longer one, because he would always make himself out to be something more for no reason at all. I mean we already liked him but he would keep coming up with BS to make himself look better. I called it little man syndrome, but seriously.. it was bad.

Oh well.. people will be people. I hardly trust a soul, but what can I say when most folks don't know how to be honest with themselves.
 
I think for me anyway, it all depends on what the definition of "support" is. If a friend of mine gets into some sort of trouble and they're deserving of the consequences, I'll do what I can to help them get through and improve as best I can. At the same time though, I'm not going to blindly support a friend no matter what they've done or what the facts are.

Case in point; I had a friend nine years ago who often got into fights with his little brother over nothing (and I don't mean name-calling or arguing; I mean hitting/punching). To be fair; it was his little brother who started most of them, but that usually didn't stop me from reminding my friend that he should be old enough not to be provoked into a fight with a kid who was seven years old at the time.

Interestingly enough, they've since stopped fighting and get along pretty well.
 
Jeopardizing your future on someone elses reckless actions is not the right thing to do.
Killing in regards to a loved one being killed or injured is human nature and only the law seperates there.Keeping the deathof the responsible person is upto the individual?

Steeling is just wrong even if its the exact right thing to do, out side of law and order sure you can think its a correct actions but many more peope get hurt other yourself, thats regarding shoplifting but when you need medicine could you really stand by and watch a friends child die if you could help illegally?

Many of these situations require you to be in them to see how you will react, moral guidelines only go so far and the rest has to be made up by the Law. if you subtract the Law, then it really does became a question of "how far would you go?"
 
It all really depends on the friend and what the situation was. I would gladly support my best friend of 15 or so years on almost anything. I would draw the line if it was something really bad, like a felony. But I would certainly be there to support him in pretty much any endeavor he may take on.

There are philosophical differences as well. If he was supporting something that I just didn't believe in, even if it was harmless, then I probably wouldn't support him. But again, that depends on the nature and extent of what it is. Like if he decided he wanted to join a cult that did random stupid shit, but nothing illegal, I wouldn't support him just because I feel like he would be throwing his life away commiting to it.

He's really my only real life friend these days, besides my co-workers, so I suppose everyone else I would draw the line a lot earlier. I guess I'm just such a heartless bastid. :hmph: (yes, I purposely spelled 'bastard' wrong for accent purposes)
 
I would do anything to help out a friend. I mean, if they need a place to stay, I'll let them stay at my place for as long as needed be. If they need to borrow some money for food or to pay off their rent until they get paid, I'd be glad to help. I would do whatever I can to help. Even everyone of my friends on the forums!
 
............ I don't think I'd go that far! I have to be careful while on the computer. Seeing as I'm at school and the teacher's not even ten feet away. Keep your dreams and wild fantasy's, no matter how wild, to yourself. *Cover's eye's, but spreads fingers apart a little.*
 
it depends on the person you'd describe as a friend. I'd consider many people to be my friends, but I only really consider a handful to be true friends; people I can go for advice on relationships, family issues etc. and people I seriously want to help. if someone that is not a 'true friend' commits a sin, I will probably forget about them and move on.

I would forgive and support my true friends if they happened to beat someone up or stole something, you know problems that aren't 'major'. if they, for example, murdered someone or took drugs or something, I will not tolerate their actions, never, but I will do everything in my power to lead them back into a normal life. I think I would understand their actions, albeit very slightly, because they are the people outside my family that I respect the most and have received the most support from; I would know that deep inside they are good people, otherwise I wouldn't consider them true friends. I am where i am now thanks to them, and without them maybe I might have become a murderer. Mind you, the friendship will be very different afterwoods.

if they did something bad to me, like steal from me or be racist to me, then they were never a friend in the first place. 'friendship' only applies when both people respect each other, its not just a one-way thing. I've had an experience of this before, where a person I considered a friend was just using me.

I value friendships very highly, all my true friends are my brothers and sister.
 
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