[Birthweek 2014] Kill Carlos el Cactuar!

Dionysos

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Meet Carlos!


CarlosCactuar.png


Carlos is a bandit and con-artist who has been unsettling the forums since getting himself banished from his cactuar tribe. Carlos has been popping up in our forums and scattering his hate-inducing needles into various threads. Whenever we flame and spout hate at one another that is the poisonous needle of Carlos doing its work! Now a bounty has been placed on his head, and he must be brought to justice and pay the ultimate penalty!

We cannot allow this to continue! So do us a favour and be tempted by the bounty and execute him!

How?
Simply make a description of an attack and I will draw the injury in.

Example:
Someone may post...
‘Carlos is ripped limb from limb by a group of frenzied Dionysos-worshiping maenads’.


Consequently, I would draw:
CarlosCactuartestmove.png


Be creative! Be warned though, Carlos is strong and can withstand much. You can track his current status at the bottom of this post.

To give order to this game I will be using dice to determine how much Carlos has been damaged for each attack. (I will be using this website for the rolls: http://www.random.org/dice/).

Carlos has a starting HP of 100. Each attack will minus whatever a single die rolls to Carlos’ HP.

Each person can only attack only once until the next calculation period. These calculation periods (or Turns) will essentially be whenever it is that I have been able to draw Carlos’ injuries and calculate his current HP.

Carlos will also be healed during a Turn. 3 dice will be rolled and the sum will be added to his health! Kill him before he regenerates!

The person to land the death-dealing blow on Carlos will be crowned the winner.



Some further rules:

Do not ruin this by requesting naughty things to be done to Carlos. Anything too rude and vulgar to depict in drawing will be ignored.
Also, any crazy commands such as ‘decapitate Carlos!’, while it will be drawn, he will not be insta-killed by such moves. The ‘healing dice’ of a Turn will do much to stitch his head back into place.

Prize:
1st place - 400 Gil
2nd place – 250 Gil
3rd place – 100 Gil

50 Gil will be granted to anybody who has entered this game after their first command, but no further payment will be made after any following turns.

Let’s kill him!




Current Status of Carlos:
CarlosCactuar-Dead.png


Current Total HP = 0.
Carlos is dead!







 
Carlos gets pecked in the eye by a crow.
 
Carlos walks out into the street only to get run over by a stampede of chocobos. :soul::chocochan::lavboco::kwehnitis::stevie::moko::choco::clourith::toldies::lemon::hamish::lokii::beaky::wolf::kalen::exia:
 
I unleash a powerful fart on carlos, with the power of a nuclear bomb
 
Turn 1.


CarlosCactuar-Turn1.png


CarlosCactuar-Turn15.png


Carlos gets ‘Doink!’ by all the Tonberry's = -3.

Carlos gets pecked in the eye by a crow. = -1.

Kira steals Carlos' purple ribbon = -4.

Carlos walks out into the street only to get run over by a stampede of chocobos. = -1.

Kelly unleashes a powerful fart on Carlos, with the power of a nuclear bomb = -4.


Total HP = 87.

-

Healing dice:
4+1+5 = 10.

= +10


CarlosCactuar-Heal1.png


Current HP = 97.



That round barely touched him. :sad2:
 
Carlos jumps into a well to try and drown himself from the failed murder attempts, only to realize he is part plant and won't drown.
 
Carlos watches Rosie O' Donnell belly dance
 
*Steals Carlos' pants and puts a sock on his left foot, while stabbing him in the knee with a screwdriver!*

I hope it's okay to post again. :D
 
Fat Chococo falls out of the sky and lands on Carlos, crushing him with its weight.
 
Carlos gets used as target practice and takes an arrow to the knee.
 
Turn 2.

Quite a few pictures for this one... I could not fit it all in. :ness:

CarlosCactuar-Turn2.png


CarlosCactuar-Turn21.png


CarlosCactuar-Turn22.png


CarlosCactuar-Turn23.png


CarlosCactuar-Turn24.png




Carlos jumps into a well to try and drown himself from the failed murder attempts, only to realize he is part plant and won't drown. = -3.

Carlos gets eaten by the statue of liberty. = -2.

Carlos gets glassed with a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale. = -1.

Carlos receives a laparotomy from Cloud's buster sword. = -5.

All the Cactuars betray Carlos and use 1000 needles on him. = -2.

Carlos watches Rosie O' Donnell belly dance. = -5.

Kira steals Carlos' pants and puts a sock on his left foot, while stabbing him in the knee with a screwdriver! =-6.

Fat Chococo falls out of the sky and lands on Carlos, crushing him with its weight. = -6.

Carlos is stabbed in the eye with a rusty fork. = -2.

Carlos gets used as target practice and takes an arrow to the knee. = -5.

Total HP = 60.

-

Healing dice:
3+2+1 = 6.

= +6


CarlosCactuar-Heal2.png




Current HP = 66

That round seriously hurt him!
 
Carlos is forced to listen to someone read "A History of Canada" in the most monotone voice and stabs hos own ear drums with rusted sporks.
 
That is a very good Rosie O'Donnell :lew:

Anywho...

Carlos is lovesick after laying his eyes on the beautiful Cactar Carlina.
 
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