If money wasn't an issue..

[Shu]

[Read Title First]

Do you think people would be far more happy in a relationship together?

We've all heard the point that money can not buy happiness, but we all know that most of the time money is required to live in general. Survivalist are so few and far between, that they are almost extinct because of the Technological dependencies that we have today.

I'm assuming most folks dreams in here were to travel at one point, well with money out the Wazoo, you would get your wish and more. Most of these days folks can't quite stick out for each other, because of financial stability. The stress and the fact of the matter is we realize that not every thing we dreamed we can attain, is possible. Sometimes the only way to attain it is to go it alone. If attained, it's like sometimes it builds up to one big nothing, because what's the point of attaining something if you can't share it with someone.

Everyone would love to go out to bars on a continuous basis and hang out with each other in a way where we don't have to think about making money the next day or being liable to show for work.

Hence why most people sort of get jobs they hate, than love because the more higher paying jobs are the more cut throat jobs usually. You have to do a lot to get to the top including telling your significant other "No" quite a lot.

So the point to this crazy life sometimes revolves around.. being financially endowed to the point where you can support yourself and one other... but is that enough?

So what do you think, is money the main thing that keeps folks from staying together?

 

[Demon]

Hard to say... when you work, you have less time to pay attention to what your life is like. Your life might be great at home, but you don't have any time to enjoy it or keep it that way.

I can see how going on nice trips might go wrong too. Instead of having a nice time with your significant other, you might get tired of being together so much.

There's a certain can of worms I can open as well by saying that one might not stay with their other if they have money, but that subject is a bit difficult.

 

[Steve-O]

hmmmm this is a hard one

money is always kool but life would be better without it

just think.... no worrys about bills and buying shopping and other stuff. but being with one person too long may lead to problems. people could get on their nerves or may get bored and end up with nothing to do :/

being able to travel anywhere would be ace but you would run out of places to go one day :/

soo it might not be such a good idea after all, i'm spilt on this :/

 

[Bei Bei]

If money was not an issue, I think that people would only be slightly happier in a relationship together. Yes money would solve the problem of having to worry about whether or not how stable your life is going to be, and the ability to freely spend on whatever you wish when you wish it. Statistics show that those with a higher income are less likely to separate than those with lower incomes.

Honestly though, I think that couples who have to struggle with financial situations and end up staying together through the struggle might end up having a stronger relationship than a couple who already have it. Put it this way. A rich couple lose all their money. If money is the basis for a happier relationship, how does a couple who all of a sudden loses it all cope?

Either way I think it depends on the particular bond that each person has for each other. If that bond happens to be money then the more money the better their relationship. But I think the bond is stronger when you get two couples that come from the same social class

 

[Valvalis]

I think money issues can certainly harm a couple; it's actually one of the main reasons why my parents split up So yes, I think if money were not an issue, it would alleviate a lot of the stress couples go through.

Another problem is that sometimes two people will get together who are satisfied by different amounts of money or luxuries, and that also can be problematic, because the person who is happy with less could get upset that the person who needs more spends more time at work and less at home, in order to make the extra money. And I don't think that's a very good formula for success either. If two people who love having lots of luxuries and don't mind spending lots of time apart to work, get together, then I'm sure that works out a lot better; or, if you have two people who are happy living on less, but spending more time together, then that works out much better as well.

 

[Mitsuki]

Interesting topic, one which I shall indulge in since I see your point behind this.

To answer the question, "Do you think people would be far more happy in a relationship together?" ...well, I can't speak for everyone of course. A lot of factors play in one's relationship, money being included. But to what extent, is the question I am assume you're focusing at. That really depends on how you view 'money issues'. Sometimes money can tear people apart in many different scenarios, but other times it can also lead to a more stable life (financially speaking), which usually means no financial stress between the two people living together.

I'll give my own example here. My husband works at Home Depot and although his pay is decent, he doesn't like his job. But he has to stay there because there's really no other jobs that would give him the amount of pay he's receiving now. He's extremely stressed out over this, and therefore he'd bring his stress to our home though he is by no means taking it out on his family. But relationship-wise, yeah I can feel the gravity of the situation we're in sometimes because of financial issues. It does have an effect, though nothing overly significant, but it's there. So I do wish that sometimes we can have a decent enough income to avoid these unnecessary stress. Not to say I wish to become rich all of a sudden, but just to the point that we're comfortably living and not having to worry about making ends meet and such. It would be so much easier for us.

Sometimes we're financially stable that we can just go out without having to worry about money or bills, but it isn't like that all the time. We wish to change that, but with the economy these days and people on hiring freeze, it does get frustrating, especially because I've been wanting to help out, but with schedules (work and school) and my limited availability due to our daughter, I can't even find a job myself. And then when I do speak to someone about a potential job, I typically hear, "Oh yeah, we're hiring but the manager prefers to hire someone who speaks Spanish as a second language." ...Yeah, no comment. I can see my husband suffering, physically and emotionally but at the same time he's trying to be strong for us. These things suck. You want the person you love to be able to live comfortably and not have to worry about 'money issues', and yet there it is.

But overall, we try not to worry too much about these things. There are many other people who are in a worse situation than us, so we're thankful that we have food on our table at least, a family, a place of our own, and being able to relax every now and then. We're happy, yes, but we also don't expect that happiness will always greet us around the corner, because so many things change - some that we're happy with, some that we're not too happy with. It's normal, despite how it can affect one's relationship at times, but life moves on and we just go on with the pace.

 

[Priestess-Mars]

If it's not money, then there are going to be other issues like the personalities of the couple and habits that each of them have. There could also be arguments over silly things which could get serious if they can't handle it. Money would lighten the load a little, but that's just a bit. I'm sure other things would arise.

 

[Dee]

No.

I think that if two people together in a relationship have plans and don't jerk each other around and work together as a team, even without money, things (like the relationship) can survive. It really just depends on the individuals and how they look at the situation. In many cases, one might have worries about money and still work to obtain it, but they don't make as big of a deal while the other person is continually worrying and being negative about not having any, etc. From what I can see and have seen in the past, it's more a matter of how the person deals with the issue rather than the issue itself.

 

[Channizard]

I would definitely say so. At least for myself anyway. Money was a huge issue between me and my ex. He had issues finding a job, let alone a decent one, since he was a foreigner.. so I was the sole bread winner for a good 60-70% of the time we'd been together. It put an insane amount of stress on me, and then on our relationship while I'm trying to budget our lifestyle.. but he didn't care as much and would buy his smokes every week. Even with the luxery of living with my folks, it was still hard.

If we had money and I didn't have to slum from one shitty minimum wage job to the next, we may even still be together. He could have gotten his Visa with the money we had, and he could still be here.

Next time I find a dude I'm definitely looking for someone who's financially stable because I can't put myself through all that stress again.

 

[Dee]

It's really shitty when only one person is making the money and the other person is just dicking around and wasting their time/cash (or your cash) on shit you know you can't afford or isn't worth anything in the long run. That's when it becomes a problem. But if both people are contributing and pulling their own weight (in some way or another), it shouldn't be that big of an issue.

Personally, I would never ever ever ever in my life date someone who wasn't working and wasn't utilizing their time IF they were capable of holding a job. There is no way in hell I would take on that kind of stress by supporting someone. I've seen what it can do to people and it's just ridiculous.

 

[blakstang98]

Plain and simple, no, money should never ever affect a relationship. But you know I can't keep the answer as simple as that, so let me elaborate.

Sometimes a relationship is only started because someone is "gold digging". Well, from the start, I'm already not classifying this as a real relationship, as a relationship should never be started for superficial reasons. This relationship was over before it started, so it never had a chance to evolve to begin with.

A relationship can be strained because of financial issues though. Two people can start to get heated more easily if financial woes continue for a long period of time. And most, if not all relationships/marriages will have a financial issue at some point in time. A couple puts down a purchase on a house, then all of a sudden the vehicles start falling apart and/or a family member gets sick and you're spending a ton of money to help them get better. It's always the most unfair situations that pop-up when you make yourself vulnerable financially. But if the relationship is worth it's salt, the couple will work together to make ends meet without creating strain on their relationship. Ones that don't probably were on shaky ground to begin with.

And though finances can have a major effect on a relationship, I certainly don't think that a high percentage of relationships end for this reason. If a couple is not married, it could be a number of reasons why the relationship ends, but unless their "common law", they probably aren't sharing funds to an extent where ones incorrect financing leads to the relationships demise. As for married couples, most of those marriages are unhappy because the couple can't stand living together. Sure, finances could be a small reason, but usually a couple just starts to become distant because they let little things get to them. I'll leave this part at that since it is getting off topic about relationships/marriages and their failures.

But no, I don't see finances as being a major relationship issue for most failed relationships. The best advice I can give to anyone to avoid such issues is to save some money. You never know when a rainy day might come and you need some money to fall back on. Always be prepared for the worst, but be optimistic about your financial situation.

 

[Bambi]

I'm not sure...

I don't particularily need money to be happy myself. I'm quite happy being skint, as long as I have SOME money, I'm fine. If money wasn't an issue, I'd not appreciate anything. If I was with someone and we were both broke, I'd appreciate the gesture of a few quid on summat small, but relevent to me, than being loaded and coming home with summat extravagant

Money helps, of course it does, but I'm so used to getting by on what I have, pretty much since I moved out on my own, that if I suddenly got rich I doubt I'd tell anyone, and hide it all under my matress, never to be spent... haha

IMO, as long as you have enough money to get by and still manage to enjoy yourself, as long as you have each other on top of that (vom) what else do you need?

When it becomes an issue is when you are trying your hardest to make your money last the month, and the other person squanders it away...

 

[Shu]

It's good to see this is a pretty split decision debate, been a while since people can actually relate. I would say I took in what all of you said, but before I admit to it, I'm going to voice my own personal opinion on the subject.

The reason I bring this up is because as most of you know, there will be a time where scraping to get by is your only option for weeks, months on end unless of course you have a trust fund.

Reality is this, there will be job loss. If you and your significant other are jobless, and have to move in with the parents, then it puts a overwhelming amount of strain on the relationship. Everything becomes impersonal the moment you enter that situation, and then trying to find alone time, especially if you have a kid, can be outright bothersome.

If you already had problems to begin with, and then start to have financial problems, it then escalates into a break up usually these days because it's easier to be alone than with someone in the first place financially.

Think about it, how often do you go out to eat by yourself? How often do you choose to eat a candy bar or skip a meal by yourself? I can tell you that I can get by on $100-150 eating expenses for a month. Now in a relationship.. it usually goes up to 400-600 a month. If you have pets, well that's another variable. If you have relatives that live quite a bit a part, well that's more traveling expenses.

There's a lot to take in.

I think the number one cause of relationship endings, are due to financial instability. True we all have other problems, but all relationships are on the fence once in a while about other problems as well.

Now granted we all know those relationships that are just not compatible, say to much of the same personality. Psychological make ups are mostly what distinguish who we are more or less compatible with. I know I get along with folks who are opposite to who I am. Now if someone was always the same as me, it would be like, well in casual speak, masturbation =\. Though don't mistake folks that have the same goals though, as the folks who are the same as you, could be quite the opposite. So anyways.. yea, money, root of evil.. etc..

 

[CHIP]

I don't think money or being materialistically well-endowed is the key to happiness but it would certainly make life easier. I think in the future when humanity is intellectually more evolved we'll stop squabbling, the intrinsically corrupt monetary system that is designed to keep us in debt will be supplanted, and we will be so technologically-advanced, machines will do most of the ball-aching work for us. Think: The Venus Project, but without ubiquitously white buildings. Without money, I think people, on the whole would generally be more content. If you think about it, money is usually the reason why people commit crime, squabble, backstab, and "relationships" are often forged because of money, hence the increasing popularity in prenuptial agreements. My Mum was a widow, and I've witnessed firsthand how horrible a life can be without a steady income. Always worrying whether you can put food on your children's plate. Looking back, I honestly don't know how my mother achieved it. Writing this now makes me want to ring her up and thank her. I blame Capitalism. Nah, scratch that, I blame the banking oligarchies.

 

[saajuk]

Nothing would get done if no one had to worry about money and everyone would want to live on there own little private island.

 

[GalaxyFlare]

Money is a major part of why people break up........but what we dont usually factor in is the appreciation we can hold for one another when working in a partnership to support yourself and a and a partner or a family with multiple children.

I now from my own experience growing up a s teenager seeing my stepfather coming home from work and just having no appreciation shown for his efforts in supporting the family, while I never liked the man I did respect the effort and his contribution to house hold and think his work ethic rubbed of on me.

There is no way in hell my family would treat me like that and hope to gain the better parts off the life I was providing, Im not talking worship or any such nonsense here or yu will od as I say in my house, coz that sjust crap and wont fly.....but a little bit of acknowledgement for your efforts can along way to curbing some if not all the problems partners can run into.

Because like it or not we have to work for a living t achieve the thing s we want and if you do it for your self its fine and you can put up with any amount crap as long you get your payoff, games, cars, travelling.........whatever.

A lot of the angst surrounding money problems in relationships comes from a under appreciation IMO, because when you dont appreciate it can turn to malice very quickly
and suddenly....yes quite suddenly there is angst and hate in the middle of to people, where there should harmony.

Its a big choice to make when you decide to bring your incomes together and provide a house hold, problems arise and the buffer of the 2 of you being all right if it hits the fan is gone and your suddenly siupporting a person who no longer likes or appreciates you, good will only goes so far with out appreciation.

 

[Shu]

Nothing would get done if no one had to worry about money and everyone would want to live on there own little private island.

I think you are missing the point. I'm not saying if everyone had mass amounts of money, I'm just saying, what if in a relationship, you had just enough at all times to not have to worry about debt/mortgages/food/taxes/monthly bills/doctor bills/gas/car tuneups/house renovations (say broken toilet)/Car Payments/... List goes on.

Do you think that this is a deciding factor in most relationships as of today whether or not folks can hack it? or do you think it's other problems that cause it..

 

[GalaxyFlare]

Your talking about a system that supplies adequate money to time spent ratio that does not exist, why do you think they make you buy a house or a car instead of just giving them to your for having worked enough?

Its all about the control money places on people and how they can be controlled by this in sufficient ratio of money to time spent...........if we all had what we needed when we needed it what would be the point of having money at all?

It keeps you in your place, controlled always needing more money, its true that with no monetary system we would be free to follow to our own interest but the world needs integration to survive.

Apart from the appreciation aspect in my other post, one thing that ruins relationships is when couples live beyond there means dept occurs because of this and before you know you have loans to pay off your loans..........is this the evidence you need?

Money is one the primary factors we have put into our society and is the basis for most crimes, we all need it and given the problems entire countries face in financial situations if a nation that has infinitely more recourses tan your average family and the shit they get........a lack of money seriously fuck up a family dependent on a system that is failing and is prone to failing.

So yeah its a problem, no one is immune to a problem so encompassing.

 

[Shu]

Apart from the appreciation aspect in my other post, one thing that ruins relationships is when couples live beyond there means dept occurs because of this and before you know you have loans to pay off your loans..........is this the evidence you need?

That's the problem, shit happens. You have a house foreclosure based on a job loss. You have a missed payment due to garnishing of wages for medical bills. You get sick god forbid, there is no "pause" button in life where you can just sit back for a bit, when you are on your own or with someone.

So money will always be a problem, but with the rise in awareness due to the crap house economy, I'm honestly noticing more divorces, more break ups, due to the living conditions that someone is not willing to cope with.

I can agree to one thing which might broaden your mind:

1) If man and woman, woman/woman, man/man - Just had each other and no technology, no place to go, just each other.. is it possible for them to survive in a highly technological society? Where everyone wants to go faster, get higher, experience more.. I know this is personal preference.. but it's the bane of human existence these days. Ask yourself, have you ever lost your cell phone and been without internet? ... Makes you feel crazy.

2) I think relationships after a set amount of time need a spark. The only problem is the spark usually entails money. Money that most folks don't have. Sorry.. just being with each other, just doesn't do it for folks. They get bored, or they are hindered by everything outside their relationship, and bring it to the dinner table.

3) I still hold to my point.. Lack of Money = Death of relationships usually.

 

[L]

Personally, I'll always find some level of complacency regardless of income.

I dont think more money would necessarily make me happier, but it would probably keep me more amused.