Surprising traits that 'put men off'

[Bambi]

I love finding these gems. Thoughts boys and girls? I think this could make quite the interesting discussion, not sure what I think of some of them, if I was trying to bag a man, why should I change the way I dress, the suns oot and I'l be damned if I'm not wearing a short skirt. Not beingone of the lads would mean I'd have to change my whole personality. Do men go to all this trouble to bag a woman?

Discuss

Success saboteur 1: Wearing too much make-up

Most male daters we spoke to insisted that they prefer the natural look to a trowelling of slap. A bit of concealer and mascara is all you need (men will think you’re completely au naturel). Lashings of make-up spells “high-maintenance” – and any man will wonder what horrors you’re trying to hide under that mask.

Success saboteur 2: Playing hard to get

Isn’t it infuriating when a man plays with your head by blowing hot and cold? It may trigger your interest in the short run, but it’ll soon make you frustrated and insecure. In the end, you can’t be bothered with him or his mind-games.

Well, men feel the same way. They don’t want to be stalked, but they do want to be asked out. If you fancy a guy, chat him up. He’ll be too delighted to reject you.

You’ll also gain points for keeping up the momentum after your date. Whoever told you to wait for five days (or whatever random number of days) before returning a phone call is an idiot. Let him know that you’d like to see him again. He’ll probably say “yes.” If he says “no,” at least you’re spared the tedious ordeal of waiting for a call that’ll never come.

Success saboteur 3: Being on a diet

Don’t wreck a promising first date by refusing his offer of dessert because you’re worried about the calories. If you’ve got a bit of a belly, he probably won’t notice. If you bang on about your bit of a belly, and refuse to eat anything, you’ll kill your chances of getting a second date.

Compromise solution: share dessert with him, and go for a run tomorrow… or indulge in some other form of vigorous exercise later that night.

Success saboteur 4: Curvalicious clothes

Don’t get us wrong. It’s every woman’s right to wear exactly what she wants, including a teeny-weeny bum-hugging pelmet skirt down the pub. Equally, it’s every man’s right to wear ladies’ knickers to the supermarket, but it won’t get him a date.

Barely-there garb will get you noticed (and laid, if you’re not fussy). But a lot of men just don’t want to date women whose clothes leave nothing to the imagination – because there’s nothing left to discover once he gets her alone. That’s why a simple item such as a properly-fitting T-shirt can work wonders. It shows just enough of your shape to make him want to see more of it.

Success saboteur 5: Being one of the boys

Just because he likes doing certain things with his mates (getting drunk, farting, swearing at referees, drawing penises on things), doesn’t mean he wants to do those things with you. First-date farts have killed many a beautiful relationship.

Success saboteur 6: Inflated boobs

Boobs, like faces, are best served without too much pimping. Pumped-up silicone globes reek of insecurity and Big Brother wannabe-ism. There’s a dedicated male market for such boobs, but most men would prefer that his girlfriend’s breasts were home grown.

Go easy with push-up bras, too. They’re pretty easy to spot, and they can have the same effect as the curvalicious clothes we mentioned before. For maximum success, keep it natural and leave something to the imagination.

Success saboteur 7: Fake tan

That thing we said about keeping it natural…?

Success saboteur 8: Shyness

Big boobs and fake tans are at one end of the man-getting cliché spectrum. At the other end is the idea that simpering, mousey, “surrendered women” are the feminine ideal.

It’s all rubbish, of course. Confidence (not arrogance) is the one quality that scores more points than any other in the dating game. If you sit around moaning that you’re no good and no-one will ever love you, you’ll probably be proved correct. That’s because no-one wants a moaning, self-pitying girlfriend.

If you struggle to shake off your shyness, start by faking it. Play the role of a confident person, happy in her own skin. Meet people’s eyes when they talk. Lift your chin, relax your shoulders and smile. You’ll find that men – all people, in fact – respond to you better, and that will boost your true confidence.

Success saboteur 9: Being an anti-career girl

All work and no play makes Jane a dull girl, right? Yes but only to an extent. All play and no work doesn’t do much for her, either. Your job is an important part of your identity, and men respect women who have passions and ambitions. If you love your job and you’re full of hopes and dreams, don’t feel pressured into playing it down for a man who doesn’t understand your passion. Ditch the man, not the dreams.

Success saboteur 10: Letting him do all the talking

As you’ve no doubt read 100 times before, men don’t want to date women who can’t stop talking. We think we’re being friendly, but they think we can’t keep our traps shut. So far, so stereotypical.

However, it would be a mistake to shut up and let a guy do all the talking. He might as well stay at home and talk to the cat or the toilet cistern. It’s lazy to let him drive the conversation, and it suggests that you’ve got nothing interesting to say for yourself. Also, your silence makes him feel that you’re not interested in him. Ask him some questions, and respond to the stuff he’s saying. If that makes you “too talkative,” then he deserves the cistern for company.

edit* I've posted this and noticed my avatar andit made me giggle

Better out than in I say!

 

[Donald Trump]

Surprising is an odd word to use. Most of these are obvious.

The make-up is because if you have to wear a lot of make-up you must be very ugly. Always. High maintenance only exists on TV. I don't know anyone who would seriously say, 'she is high maintenance' etc.

Playing hard to get might actually annoy someone? Who the fuck would have guessed.

I don't think diets influence anyone. Except for really nice guys, the kind who say, no you aren't fat etc. There's too much pressure to be thin. The ones who claim they aren't shallow and as a result only get ugly chicks.

The fourth one is stupid. People have different tastes.

Number 5 seems fair enough, no one wants to fuck a guy in a chick's body. However the longer a relationship lasts the more comfortable/accepting people are of their partner's (partner?) various flaws and quirks.

Fake boobs vs real tits is just preference. It's just bullshit to say guys in general prefer real tits. They just say it to make girls with no tits feel better about the fact that they can't get a guy.

If you can tell someone is wearing fake tan it's too much. Otherwise it's fine, no one likes pasty chicks.

 

[Marquis of Granby]

a lot of them are fairly obvious they might as well have added an extra in saying "wash your fanny". some are down to preference and others assume that the grostesque fat (im qualified to use that term) butes you might see out at the weekend are actually looking for a shag. i think most of the things are referring to one night stands rather than "dates". the whole shyness thing is a load of shite, its body language for "i dont like to talk but im a fucking beast in bed".

whoever got paid to write that is a moron since it's just a glorified "dont be a ginger minger who stinks of fish and looks like david dickinson with a bit of extra make up".

 

[Dee]

I agree with these totally. There are times when I am ashamed to be a woman as most of them that I know are so fake and so stupid and act like a bunch of idiots just to impress some guy(s). All of those are not surprising to me as they would turn me off. I guess it's just the mindset. Now, I can understand a woman doing it for themselves, but tell me how many of those do you know.

 

[SapphireStar]

Nice to see men prefer women who dont wear make up. I can only wear certain sorts of makeup as I have sensertive skin. The only thing with me is I dont have any confidence at all and I do rabbit on abit.

 

[Nocturne]

eh, some of that I agree with, some I dont. Pretty much as long as you dont act whorish/flirt with other guys all the time, Im cool with however you want to be since that's why Id be interested anyways. If you like wearing alot of make up, go for it (though it can look really bad at times, or good) or if you dont want to wear make up or dont like, Im perfectly fine with that too.

 

[Meds]

I think the only one of those that isn't completely true (in my case) would be

Success saboteur 4: Curvalicious clothes

Personally I always love to see a girl in sexy, elegant, and/or stylish clothes that complement her body, no matter where she is.
I also have a big thing for girls in high heels.. I find it incredibly sexy.

The rest of those I totally agree with though.

 

[Not of Rust]

I think part of the issue with make-up is the simple fact that so many girls just don't know how to do it in a flattering manner. I've got no problem with make-up, I generally have a good eye for girls that look like a big bag of hell without it, and admit that it's pretty hot to see a more conservative girl get a little painted up. In general it's an issue of moderation.

Hard to get can send the message that you're only interested in a guy if he's going to work hard to get you. That sends the message of high maintenence/inflated self-worth more than make-up. It also sends the message that you're just fine if he doesn't pursue hard. Just be open and act like you normally would and don't waste someone's time with the whole round-a-bout donkey piss.

Agree on the diet - if a first date isn't license to cheat a little then you've minimized the situation already. Save the establishment of eating habits for the 2nd or 3rd date.

Not swung one way or the other on clothes except for minding your surroundings and again - moderation. I've had girls drive me nuts in skin tight get ups and I've had girls drive me nuts in jeans and t-shirt. But, don't show up to a family gathering with a skirt so short you can smell your ass.

Not a fan of fake boobs given the option but understand there are situations where they may be a desired alternative for the girl.

Fake tans are awful. Any tan in excess is awful.

Don't mind a girl being shy so long as she's not a basket case or a grouch. I'm pretty good at getting a conversation going and breaking someone out of their shell a little. it's all about making them comfortable.

Anti-career can go either way. I'm fully accepting that it's hard to really love your job and more people hate theirs than the other way around. But, try not to ooze apathy.

There's no way to present yourself as disinterested than not talking.

 

[L]

only thing i can really say I agree with is makeup. chicks who wear a lot of makeup scare me shitless.

a few years back my sister got into some of my moms makeup and posted her pics to myspace... I was laughing for hours on end

as for the whiny thing, I do not really think that it really matters as long as you are not really trying to be an attention whore who is looking for a pity circlejerk. I do not think it would be a problem with a girl I wanted to get with, personally.

edit: clothes that say "drag me into the dark alley and rape me" too, I guess.

 

[Channizard]

Success saboteur 5: Being one of the boys

Just because he likes doing certain things with his mates (getting drunk, farting, swearing at referees, drawing penises on things), doesn’t mean he wants to do those things with you. First-date farts have killed many a beautiful relationship.

And thus, why I have (tried) to wait a few months into the relationship after bagging him to let one loose comfortably. But if one sneaks out, you can't do anything about it. >;

 

[.Ted]

The only thing with me is I dont have any confidence at all and I do rabbit on abit.

I know how that feels. Sometimes, I think about doing something -- mostly trying to impress someone -- but most of the time I don't believe enough in myself to go through with it. I also talk a lot, and the other person usually just stays quiet. Well, most of the time.

As for this topic, I agree with most of these things. Most of them would turn me off. Except #8. I'm into shy girls, since I know they won't say much. But it wouldn't hurt if she was a bit talkative, too.

 

[Rydia]

I find hard to get girls annoying too. Well watching them at least. I remember when my friends used to yell at me for not being hard to get when we were teenagers. But I did get way more dates than them!

I can agree about the makeup too. A lot of girls do not know how to put it on and they have too much. I usually just put on foundation, a light blush and some eye liner and light eye shadow, sometimes mascara. And only for speical occasions really. I'll go natural if I am just going to be hanging out and nothing else.

As for tans... if you are the color of an oompa loompa, then you have waaaay to much on.

As for boobs, I personally like feeling natural boobs more than fake boobs XD

Clothing, some people try to leave nothing to the imagination... but they really do not have the body for it D: Just because you wear little clothing doesn't mean you look sexy. I mean seriously, if your belly hangs out completely over your skirt, well no one is going to find that sexy. And sometimes, the way people wear their "sexy" clothing makes them look a lot heavy than they are. (Girl's with big boobs, big hips, people that wear tight jeans that makes their stomach stick out.) Needless to say, the best thing to do is to wear something that suits your body type.

 

[Channizard]

Clothing, some people try to leave nothing to the imagination... but they really do not have the body for it D: Just because you wear little clothing doesn't mean you look sexy. I mean seriously, if your belly hangs out completely over your skirt, well no one is going to find that sexy. And sometimes, the way people wear their "sexy" clothing makes them look a lot heavy than they are. (Girl's with big boobs, big hips, people that wear tight jeans that makes their stomach stick out.) Needless to say, the best thing to do is to wear something that suits your body type.

There are times when it's just better to put the fork down before putting on a pair of jeans like that.

 

[Amizon]

I think I agree with those points.

It's what I'd generally do and it suits me because I probably end up doing them. I don't like wearing makeup, could care less about my weight right now and probably wouldn't be too chatty at the same time. How true that all is.

 

[Toshiya]

I agree with most of the points. The one about the clothes, though, it really depends on the attitude of the person wearing them as well. It generally the ones that can't pull it off that try it (like people have mentioned... they don't have the body for the stuff they wear)

With makeup, I personally think girls with loads of makeup look stupid. A couple of my friends coat their face in foundation that isn't even the same colour as the rest of their skin and end up with a line where their foundation meets their untouched skin on their neck. Now that looks awful
I hardly wear any makeup. Literally only mascara and eyeliner and you can only really tell I'm wearing the eyeliner.
As for chatty, it depends on the guy, I think. Some guys like quiet girls and some guys like talkative girls. But then the same could be said for almost anything If everyone liked exactly the same kind of people, very few people would have boyfriends or girlfriends.

 

[Shu]

Success saboteur 8: Shyness

Big boobs and fake tans are at one end of the man-getting cliché spectrum. At the other end is the idea that simpering, mousey, “surrendered women” are the feminine ideal.

It’s all rubbish, of course. Confidence (not arrogance) is the one quality that scores more points than any other in the dating game. If you sit around moaning that you’re no good and no-one will ever love you, you’ll probably be proved correct. That’s because no-one wants a moaning, self-pitying girlfriend.

If you struggle to shake off your shyness, start by faking it. Play the role of a confident person, happy in her own skin. Meet people’s eyes when they talk. Lift your chin, relax your shoulders and smile. You’ll find that men – all people, in fact – respond to you better, and that will boost your true confidence.

Dunno what's up with my font, but I guess this will do.

Well the way the person wrote this is horrible, but there is some justice in it. I love a shy person, it makes it all that more mysterious about them. Once you crack their shell, they can pretty much only relate to you about things per se..

Though let me say what gives these few lines justice. Shyness has nothing to do about complaining about your looks. The number 1 turn off with me and I can speak for most guys is when you know the girl looks amazing, and yet she says she's fat/ugly/frumpy whatever.. She has a right to say it of course, but not like every single night. It is a damn turn off actually.

Some people have it in them to think that they are ugly, until one totally over glorifies them. But what happens when they think the person is just saying that? I mean it happens all the time, some girls just need the attention of other fellas besides the one they are with in order to feel good about themselves.

What I don't get is where all the self confidence goes that was at the start of relationships =P. Now that's another area I'll leave out for questioning.