This went on for too long.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hey
Stranger: m/f?
You: That depends.
Stranger: on?
You: Nothing.
Stranger: really.
You: How do you ever know if someone answers that question truthfully?
Stranger: exaclty
Stranger: exactly*
Stranger: you dont
Stranger: thats why
Stranger: i make them answer first
Stranger: because if i tell them im a chick
Stranger: 99% of the time they say theyre a guy
Stranger: and if i tell them in a guy,
Stranger: then say theyre chicks.
You: lol
You: How would you answer if I said I'm a guy?
Stranger: im a chick.
Stranger: if you said you were a chick, id still be a chick.
You: Be more interesting if you could transform.
Stranger: o: ik.
Stranger: so what ARE you?
You: A guy.
Stranger: okay.
You: Or maybe I'm only following the patter?
Stranger: o:
You: *pattern?
Stranger: maybe
You: I'm not even sure, myself now.
Stranger: maybe i wanna checkfor you(;
Stranger: maybe im one of those sick perverts.
You: Maybe I'm a hermaphrodite...
Stranger: maybe im your mother o:
You: Maybe I'm your father o=
Stranger: maybe my fathers dead o:
Stranger: ...or maybe he isnt.
Stranger: [:
You: I see. lol
You: I am the anonymous of the internet.
Stranger: i see
You: Incognito.
Stranger: really
You: Yarly
Stranger: im guessing youre a chick, btw.
You: Why's that?
Stranger: hmm, idk. you sound like one.
Stranger: which is quite the insult if youre not, but i guess we'll never know
You: Maybe I'm just a feminine guy?
Stranger: maybe o:
Stranger: maybe im a masculine female
Stranger: jk im a cheerleader
Stranger: jk no im not
You: lol
Stranger:always keepin ya guessin.
You: I think you're a robot.
You: You were created in order to keep my occupied whilst surfing the web.
Stranger: o:
You: *me
Stranger: o: can i be a pirate?
Stranger: what are you surfing for?(;
You: Sure. You're a pirate robot.
Stranger: cough,porn.
Stranger: oh thats hot
You: What else is the internet for?
You: If not for porn?
Stranger: omegle(; to talk to creepy people
Stranger: oh wait, most people use omegle FOR porn.
You: lol
You: Everything on the internet goes back to porn.
Stranger: even your mother o:
You: If so, then that's a part of the internet I hope I never see.
Stranger: xD
Stranger: cough, cause youre a chick.
You: So, men like seeing their mother's on the internet in a porno?
Stranger: uh, duh. i would know
You: You said earlier that you were a girl, but do girls call themselves "chicks"?
Stranger: do guys call themselves roosters? you wouldnt know, chick.
You: You're stuck on believing that I'm a girl, aren't you?
Stranger: yeah. cause you havent told me otherwise(;
You: I did.
You: Stranger: so what ARE you?
You: A guy.
Stranger: oh
Stranger: right
Stranger: xD
Stranger: where are you from?
You: The USA
You: You?
Stranger: o: me too
Stranger: we have so much in common ;D
You: I know. It's not like there's anyone else on the internet from the United States. lol
Stranger: there really isnt. everyones from friggen asia.
You: Yeah. I meet more guys from India on this site than I thought I would.
Stranger: cough, chick.
You: Whatever. You can imagine me with a vagina while we talk if that's what you want.
You: Since we'll never actually find out otherwise.
Stranger: yea cause id wanna imagine that. since im a dude and all.
You: Are you sure you're not in denial? That you can't talk to anyone unless they have a vagina?
Stranger: nah, i just want to confuse you(;
Stranger: so how old are you, guy from USA?
You: I'll be 21 this month.
Stranger: woo, drinking age.
Stranger: ...unless youre lying(;
You: Maybe.
You: You?
Stranger: maybe im 24.
Stranger: maybe im 19.
Stranger: i might even be 13.
Stranger: (;
You: If you're 13, then maybe you should come in my van. I have candy.
Stranger: i prefer trucks, but ooh, what kind? ;D
You: The kind that gets you in my van.
Stranger: too bad, i like trucks(;
Stranger: you know, cause im a guy and all.
You: Are you really? Are you sure you're not some kind of asexual alien trying to abduct me through the internet?
Stranger: are YOU sure im not watching you from outside your window as we speak?
Stranger: turn around. john.
You: That would be funny, if my name were John.
Stranger: ik(;
Stranger: wait
Stranger: youd laugh if i guessed your name right?
Stranger: id fucking FLIP OUT.
You: Well, John is a common name, so you'd only get a laugh.
Stranger: awh. well what if i guessed an uncommon name and got it right o:
You: Then I'd think there were shenanigans going on.
Stranger: nah, id just be a ninja pirate robot o:
You: With laser beam eyes.
Stranger: ..no.
Stranger: hmm what other sketchy questions can i ask you
You: How many horses have you molested in your lifetime?
Stranger: 24(;
Stranger: and a goat*
Stranger: you?
You: Only one. For me there will always be only one.
Stranger: o: i feel the same way about you
Stranger: (;
You: I asked him if he loved me, and all he said was "neigh".....
Stranger: oh i feel for you, bud.
Stranger: ....and youre 20.
Stranger: xD
You: What about me being 20?
Stranger: nothing(;
Stranger: i was just saying how
Stranger: when someone tells you their age
Stranger: to find their REAL age, you multiply it by 3 and subract 12.
You: So, then only really old men are online?
Stranger: yea. naked men on skype.
You: Or chatroulette....jerking off...
Stranger: mmm<3
Stranger: jk thats me.
You: so, how many languages do you know?
Stranger: 1 1/2.
Stranger: and i can said i love you in french.
You: I can say I love you in Japanese and Chinese.
Stranger: oh arent you special.
Stranger: te amo
You: 僕は君を愛してる。
Stranger: o.o kay.
Stranger: je taime
You: 我爱你
Stranger: woo
Stranger: i love you too ;D
You: You can't love me. You're a robot.
Stranger: a spy ninja pirate robot hermaphrodite.
You: You just keep gaining parts, don't you?
Stranger: TWSS
Stranger: (;
You: TWSS?
Stranger: let me ask you something, john.
Stranger: yea
Stranger: thats what she said.
You: What would that be, Joe?
Stranger: im a chick, john.
Stranger: uhm
Stranger: are you having fun?
You: You're a chick named Joe.
Stranger: yea.
Stranger: im also a robot.
You: I suppose this could be qualified as fun or at the very least amusing.
Stranger: slightly.
Stranger: unless youre jackin off to whatever while youre talking to me
Stranger: thatd just disturb me.
Stranger: oh wait, youre a chick.
Stranger: (;
You: Your text is just so sexy, I can't help it.
Stranger: i know(;
You: That's it! You're typing me so hard!
You: Aaaahh! I'M CAPS LOCKING!
Stranger: o.o nice to know (;
Stranger: well im mighty tired, john.
Stranger: hard day at work
Stranger: being a firefighter.
You: Yes.
You: Well, you should sleep.
Stranger: robots dont sleep
You: Robots don't get tired, either.
Stranger: thats the spy ninja pirate part of me
Stranger: the hermaphrodite part is the part that got you hard(; which is kinda hard to do, seeing how youre a chick and all.
Stranger: a 48 year old chick*
You: Of course.
Stranger: everyday(;
You: All day long.
Stranger: then all night(;
Stranger: except for wednesdays.
Stranger: thats when i got the night shift at the krusty krab.
You: The good thing about being a sponge is that it supplies multiple holes.
Stranger: so im a sponge too now?
You: You're whatever I want you to be.
Stranger: ohbby(;
Stranger: e = mcsquaredvaginaa. what what vaginaaa.
Stranger: o.o
Stranger: cough.
You: Awesome.
Stranger: gotta love jon lajoie (sp?)
You: Well, Joe, I think it's time to say good-bye.
Stranger: will i ever see you again?
Stranger: minus the again?
You: You've never seen me in the first place.
Stranger: exactly(;
Stranger: ive seen parts of you(;
Stranger: inbed.
Stranger: anywho
Stranger: uhm
Stranger: we should be penpals o:
Stranger: justkidding.
Stranger: how mad would you be if i just accidentally clicked disconnect
Stranger: id be very sad
You: '_'
Stranger: if i didnt get to say a proper goodbye
Stranger: to my good friend
Stranger: i talk alot
Stranger: when im tired
Stranger: because i dont sleep
Stranger: because im a robot
Stranger: SEE YA
Stranger: -never
You: Good-bye, then,
Stranger: buhbye
Stranger: are you sure youre a dude?
Stranger: (;
You: Pretty sure.
Stranger: ok. byeeee
You have disconnected.
it's a song... by David Bowie. *leaves*
got one to stay after my "ASL", although they were a dick anyways 
