Marriage.

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Squid

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What are your views on marriage? Do you plan on getting married in the future or not? Are you already married and if so what do you think of it?

I do not plan on getting married. I do not see a point in it. I am not religious so I don't need to worry about that aspect at all.

I don't like being the centre of attention so I don't need a big day and a fancy $100000 dress and cake and stuff and 100+ people watching me walk down and kiss the man I am going to spend my life with. I think it's a bit of a waste of money and women who go mental over getting the day perfect are just causing themselves unnecessary stress.

I'd happily spend my life with the guy without marrying him, though perhaps I would make him do something for me to show his commitment, an expensive eternity ring would still do nicely /smug.

Though if the guy REALLY wanted to get married and I liked him enough I might consider it for him, but usually it's the girl forcing it.

Also I am only 22, maybe when I am a grown up my views will change :hmmm:

Now you.
 
I'm honestly not fussed. It is the last thing on my mind right now.

We got engaged last year but it didn't mean we intended on getting married straight away. We just wanted to take that little step further is all.

I like calling Steve my fiancé too. XD Sounds so much better than my boyfriend. >.<

I much prefer to concentrate on buying a house to settle down in then run about wasting money on one day. We said that when we have things sorted out then we would get married and it would be much more exciting as we wouldn't only be celebrating getting married, we would be celebrating our accomplishments, like having our house, debt paid off etc etc.

We won't be getting married for a long time. Say another five years or so. I hate it when people give me stupid looks when I say how long it will be till the big day. People are stupid for rushing into things like this. I think that by that time, we'll have been together for ten years and have a pretty stable relationship.

My brother is silly though. He's only 21 and his fiancé is only 19 and they're getting married next year and have been together half the time Steve and I have been together and they don't even live together, so I think they're really stupid. They're in for a rude shock when they're married and finally move in together. They have playdates at the moment and get to show their good side all the time and don't really know each other that well. So we'll see how that goes.

Anyway, my views are that it isn't that important to get married these days. I would be happy even if I didn't get married, but I'd still like to. Either way I'm really not fussed. I'm not one of those girly girls who would force my partner into a wedding and then cry and bitch over how the day must be perfect!

I'm still only 23 but still feel even younger than that! I am no where near ready for marriage or kids! I still feel like a teenager. XD
 
What are your views on marriage? Do you plan on getting married in the future or not?
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My views on Marriage are conflicting.

On the positive side, I have seen couples - mainly my sister Nicole and her husband - have a great marriage. Yeah, given they only been married for little over a month, but they've had a great relationship beforehand, so it's only expected. still, seeing them as happy as they are, it gives me hope that Marriage is good for some couples.

Now, onto the part of me that sees it as negative. The main focus of my reasoning on this is my parents. Even though their somewhat happy now, they did split up when I was ten years old and I was too young to understand, it still kind of damaged my overall views of marriage. I mean, unlike my sister and her husband, my parents are opposites, so there's always been a form of negative tension between them. I've known the kind of man my dad is, and even though I love him to death, the part I know of him is also one of the main reasons I worry - worry that my dad might either A. hurt my mom physically or B. hurt her mentally.

Yeah, that kind of does put a damper on my overall views of marriage, but yeh there it is.
 
I'm not too fussed about marriage. A part of me does think that making that final step is romantic - due to an ex saying that marriage transforms you into a family - but I don't really think it makes a difference to your relationship or who you are together. As long as your dedicated, you can have an equally fulfilling life together.

I think some people take marraige too far and try a bit too hard to have a special day with their loved one, only to spend money... My mum has two sisters. One has been married three times, has had three massive weddings, and they've all ended. :/ The other has been married once and her husband basically stole from her, which he could do because they were married. She now lives with her boyfriend, who she's been with for over 10 years. She doesn't want to get married because she's happy as she is. She loves her partner very much, and I do think they're engaged, but she doesn't see a reason to spend money on such a small change.

If I did want to get married, it would be a small wedding. I'd probably wear one of my fancy dresses instead of buying something new. I'd invite my parents, grandparents, and a couple of friends. My partner could decide who they want to invite; I wouldn't want to affect their invite list. If my partner didn't mind, we'd have it somewhere simple too, and no reception. Just a small get together at home, with food cooked by me perhaps! :D I prefer the idea of a day where everyone gets to talk to one another. A family day. I hate the idea of a day where I'm the centre of attention and no one knows one another. :(

Oh, and I'd only get married after being with my partner for 5 years or more, living with them for at least two, and after the age of 28 (I can't imagine having the money for a stable home before that, and like Kandy, I quite like the idea of a wedding that marks what you've achieved together :)).
 
No! No! No! No! No! Ugh...... That word peeves me off. I'm a free soul...... Until I find the right person. Then we'll get married. Honestly I just want to have a kid.

(Story Times)
One day I'm watching Raw and CM Punk and Chris Jericho are doing a promo on each other. Jericho says Punk is a bastard because he was born before his parents got married. So this made me think...... Am I a bastard? My parents never got married and they have 3 kids.

I wouldn't want my kid to be known as a bastard, so that's the only reason I'd get married. Other than that one reason, I don't really care for it.
 
I take Doug Stanhope's views into consideration when discussing marriage. "If Marriage didn't exist would you invent it?"

In all seriousness I don't really understand why people get married anymore unless it's some sort of bending to peer pressure, the desire to receive attention (even for a day), having a feeling of commitment etc. I personally wouldn't want to ever get married. I'd be quite happy to have a girlfriend or 'partner' and tell all those nosy family members that "no, we're not getting married thank you very much!"

Then again monogamy is overrated ;)
 
Bunnymund said:
What are your views on marriage? Do you plan on getting married in the future or not? Are you already married and if so what do you think of it?

I do not plan on getting married. I do not see a point in it. I am not religious so I don't need to worry about that aspect at all.

I don't like being the centre of attention so I don't need a big day and a fancy $100000 dress and cake and stuff and 100+ people watching me walk down and kiss the man I am going to spend my life with. I think it's a bit of a waste of money and women who go mental over getting the day perfect are just causing themselves unnecessary stress.

I'd happily spend my life with the guy without marrying him, though perhaps I would make him do something for me to show his commitment, an expensive eternity ring would still do nicely /smug.

Though if the guy REALLY wanted to get married and I liked him enough I might consider it for him, but usually it's the girl forcing it.

Also I am only 22, maybe when I am a grown up my views will change :hmmm:

Now you.
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Your views will change, because marriage isn't just around for religious reasons. In fact, it's not even native to religion- the Bible just makes a clear cut image of what marriage should be.
Animals would get married to if they had the intelligence to discern marriage. The proper way to have children and live in harmony is marriage. Without it, imagine how the state of society would be. Those values matter much more then one may realize.
When you get older, the object of marriage will start to become more relevant to your plans. Being young, a person has a much more independent and passionate system of beliefs and standards. But as you age, you naturally start letting go of a lot of those things. You won't hit 35 before you are either married or seeking marriage.
 
Like most of you I've put a lot of thought into marriage. My most prominent stance on it though is that church and state do not belong together. That being said, marriage is a construct of the state with the blessing of the participants' respective religious choice. If it were purely religious then there would be no need for Justices of the Peace to have that power.

While most of you know that I'm gay, most of you don't know that if I could, I would marry the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. That being said, that is my ideal thought. I also recognize that marriage isn't exactly the best idea for some couples and it may not be in our best interest. It's a fluid idea but what's behind it is the desire to be with someone and promise yourself to them for the rest of your lives - its the feeling behind it that should count, not the ring on your finger.
 
Hahaha ever since I was young I planned my perfect wedding. I know the theme, the colors and style of the dresses, and I even have a pretty good idea of where I want it to be :lew: (Both church and reception :wacky:) I have practically everything planned except for the guy. (which is the most important part :lew:)

I have always dreamed of having a wedding, settling down, and having kids. It's always been a big dream in my life and I don't see that ever changing.
 
I think any two persons who are not directly related should be allowed to marry. The separation of church and state is quite a joke to me at this point... I would like to have a wedding someday :) I really love the man I am with and it would be cute if we got married someday :ari:
 
Weddings... Hm... I was never the type of girl to have her whole wedding planned out. I had never been in a relationship where I felt like that, but then again, I'm only 22, turning 23 in January and when I hear about people I went to school with already getting married? Having children? It kinda scares me. I would never want to bring something in to this world without knowing I'm in a stable place, and content with what my partner and I will have.

For me, thinking about marriage didn't start until a much later age. I don't think you should do it to prove a point. I don't think it should be done for the 'status', it should be done / if even, to show your dedication to that person. Personally, I don't think dedication is shown by saying "Will you marry me?" it's another easy line, and as easy as saying "I want a divorce." I admire those couples that are together for years, and years and years, maybe even get engaged after a while but don't rush in to things, enjoy each other, enjoy the things around you. Marriage is just another daily life thing, and if you feel like the person is right for you, I highly doubt you'll treat them less than what they deserve unless you get married. You'll treat them right and good no matter what your 'status' or 'paper' says.

I've never really thought about it to the extent of planning anything. :lew: You never know what happens, and I think weddings aren't just about what you want, but you should kinda make it personal, I think? What the two of you like is what I like to see back in wedding themes. Not a "I want this and this is what it will be!" :lew:
 
I think marriage can be a beautiful thing but I feel like these days too many people are marrying whimsically which undermines the concept of it entirely for me. I think as a direct consequence of that the younger generation tend to be very cynical of marriage but imo it's still important as a show of commitment to your partner. It's especially important when family is factored in.

With regards to not getting married, it would be a risk for me even if I trusted that person unreservedly. If you just ignore the religious impetus for a second, I'd still be wary of the fact that feelings change and relationships can strain over time and there would be a reluctance from me to be involved with someone who expressed a desire to be unmarried and obviously that would make any meaningful relationship impossible.
 
Puglet said:
I have always dreamed of having a wedding, settling down, and having kids. It's always been a big dream in my life and I don't see that ever changing.
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Same. :ryan:

I heard my peers say they don't want to get married because most end in separation anyway, and that is made even more complicated because divorce isn't legal in this country. Also they say 'it's just pressure you feel because you're x years old'. I don't think people should enter into marriage keeping separation/divorce at the back of their heads as an alternative.

My reason for wanting to get married isn't because of society or peer pressure. I just know that if in the future, I am with the man I want to be with for the rest of my life and he feels the same about me, I would want to get married. I'm a romantic and I probably always will be. For me, marriage is an everyday choice to love and devote yourself someone. Maybe we'll buy a house, start a family, have jobs, grow up and grow old together. I'm not saying you have to get married to do that, but it's just what I want for me. =)
 
A lot of the people I went to highschool with have long since gotten married and have had kids...I know at least one of those people is already divorced now too.

I don't know, I just feel like people are really taking the piss out of it and making it this huge commercial industry just like Christmas has become and I feel the true meaning of it has long since been lost. I don't personally need to drop $200,000.00 so every Tom, Dick, and Harry that we know can have a lobster dinner, get drunk, and see me party it up in my Vera Wang dress. All of that just isn't what that day would mean to me...it's supposed to be deeper than all of that.

I see marriage as something that binds you to your soulmate and the one you love by God sanctifying that union. Unless you are getting married solely for financial security through your spouse's insurance policies and etc...if you aren't religious I don't see the point of it for people too much unless you are just doing a civil union or something like that. ...and the reason why I'd get married would be because of the first reason I mentioned.

I would like a nice dress, a nice church to have the wedding at (preferably my own), and a reception...but I wouldn't go overboard with it. It's just something for us to celebrate the day together and make some special memories with our family and friends, not something I want to be paying on for the rest of my life. I'd rather have a nice honeymoon or something tbh.
 
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