Serious Being Alone...

[Dr. Percival Cox]

I've had this little sucker pecking at the back of my head all night. So, I thought I'd get some insight into the thoughts of the average internet goer on his/her opinion on the matter. So, to restate, the question at hand is does the thought of being alone bother you?

Personally, it doesn't bother me at all. I've been alone for quite some time now and I don't know if I've just simply become used to it or if it's really how I fell, but I actually like it and prefer my life the way it is now. I have no worry about losing someone I love. I don't fret about dissapointing the person I'm with because there is no one. I don't know. Maybe I've subconsciously gone into denial (that's a scary thought) but I'd like to think that maybe I've matured to a point in my life where I don't feel the need to constantly be connected to a significant other. More motivation possibly comes from my best friend who's in a relationship with a girl and with the way he acts. He used to freak out whenever he thought she was going to get mad at him. And whenever she was around, he would latch onto her and feed off of her attention like a maggot on a scab. I'm aware that in most situations, it's jealousy that drives a person to feel the way I do, angry because they don't have someone to be like that with. But for me, it was actual, genuine disgust. To see someone grasp onto another human being so tightly. To see someone that clingy. Really makes you appreciate being alone. Don't get me wrong. I kind of like the idea of a romantic relationship. But I neither feel an empty presence inside of me from lack of one, nor do I long for one.

But now it's your turn. Do you fret at the thought of not having a love interest in your life? Or do find you rather enjoy your solitude and don't really dig too much into the ideal of the "perfect life." So, please, share.

 

[Shu]

Hmm, coming from a married man, It's really hard for me to say. My thoughts though will be put to paper.

I prefer being in a relationship. Maybe I'm a masochist period, but I've been known to bend backwards for a lady here and there, but only to an extent. Now the "clingy", up in her arse type of love you speak of.. I just don't agree with. Granted when people first get together they get that puppy love, but mine is more lustful than anything else. Thing is I can get away with saying No more often early on in a relationship as opposed to later when one gets to know me more.

I operate off of 3 basic functions, and this is straight up man to man honesty here. 1) Sleep 2) Food 3) Sex. Call that a typical man, but seriously, I know sometimes people get in relationships for the wrong reasons and they typically eff with eachothers heads all the dang time, and I frown upon it. Hince why I need the need to add to that 3 basic function, because sometimes the person who you are with doesn't want to hear you talk, they just want to hear themselves talk (which to them is you listening). I don't encourage anyone to ever get into something serious unless they are committed to get dragged through the mud on more than one occasion for the person. I love my relationship/marriage, but there are times I bang my head against walls just to maintain sanity/dignity.

My opinion is if you are going to stay alone, be safe. Wear protection when doing your thing with random goers, if that's what you are into. Don't just chat up anyone and everyone as well, like the typical meat head alpha male. If that's the line of personality you like to be, more independent and no strings attached, then all the props to you man. I just like to work at 100% of my life, so if I'm going to be with the opposite sex, well I'm typically going to be in a relationship rather than random fuck-a-roos.

 

[Dionysos]

It does bother me a lot, but I shouldn't let it affect me so much. Worrying about if you are ever to fall in love or meet someone special or not is one way to waste a life. I can talk, because I've wasted life in many ways so far.

I've been alone for almost my entire life, and I've been alone for all of the part of my life that it actually matters and means something, so I've had lots of experience of being alone. I could carry on like this I guess, since I have never known anything else. I do long for a relationship at times, and seeing couples looking at each other and happy can be quite depressing, especially when they are young, as I never had that.

On the other hand I've been very concerned about whether I'd actually be capable of maintaing a relationship. I'd want it to last forever and such, but I'm so far behind in terms of experience that I'm not sure I'd know what to do in some situations... Other people had partners in high school and made lots of mistakes, but through that they learned about how to act in a relationship and what certain codes mean and how to behave. Through those little relationships people learn valuable skills, what works, what does not, what you yourself want... I've had none of that, and that does worry me from time to time. If I was to enter a relationship next week (not likely ) I'd be concerned that my lack of experience would destroy my chances of having a normal relationship, and she would get impatient and end it, or think I am too weird and out of touch and end it because of that.

So yes I guess I do fear being alone. I was always brought up to assume that relationships happen eventually to everyone. This belief was reinforced when I saw what appeared to be everyone else getting partners, but it seems that so far I'm not destined to be loved. I know there are a lot of people who are single too, and some people who have never had a partner also exist, and not all of them simply don't ever want a partner (which is an assumption some people make when you tell them that you've never had a partner when you get to my age).

I'm fine with waiting until I find someone, or someone finds me etc, as unlikely as that is. What does concern me is how impaired I will be if I finally do enter a relationship as I have never had the valuable experience of younger relationships. I'm 21 years behind everyone else, it feels. I'd rather just have the one relationship and see it last forever, but in this world I know it is likely that my partner would just be irritated by my lack of relationship skills, get impatient and go for someone more normal who has had lots of relationships.

I'm doomed.

It's a good job I have a good imagination though.

 

[Dr. Percival Cox]

It seems my thread has brought waves of pestism from Argor...Heh, plan's working.

Well, I've had girlfriends but I managed to drive them away rather quickly. It digusts me to admit that I got clingy with my last girlfriend (which may explain why I feel disgusted towards my friend's actions) and I cannot figure out why. But that was almost two years ago and since then I feel a whole new since of self esteem has grown. At the end of that relationship, I felt stronger actually. I discovered that I didn't need to be constantly around her. Which was weird because when I was with her I felt that I needed to be with her whenever I could but after she was gone, I didn't really miss her that much. It really does confuse me. But, as I stated earlier, I've grown. Argor, when you get a girlfriend you really care about, remember these three little things that I've learned from my screw-ups: Be kind, be respectful, and when she says go away...you better go away. That's all I can say.

 

[Big Casino]

Id hate to live my life and eventually die alone. Thats a future i dont want and something il make sure doesnt happen. Im not in a relationship at the moment which i am completely fine with. But i sure as hell plan to get settle down one day, having someone for companionship is nice. Sure youl always have your mates but its not the same closeness with them as it is with a partner.
Although marraige is only a bit of paper im sure il get married some day, have kids etc. Im young this now so i dont think about it but i think as you get older prioroties change and so does your way of thinking.
So the idea of being alone forever is a scary thought to me however i dont worry about it as its not gunna happen that way for me. Heck even if i ended up getting divorced you know at least Ive tried. I can still play football with the kids on the weekend
Was my post even on topic I dunno...either way thats my thoughts

 

[blakstang98]

I'll break this up into 2 separate questions.

Does it bother you to be alone? Nah, it doesn't. I've always been a very independent person and in a lot of ways, my personality tends to conflict with women. I shouldn't say it conflicts as much as they get tired of me over time. So I've gotten used to being alone. It doesn't help either that the ladies in my area are not appealing at all. Sometime in the next 5 years or so, I plan to purchase a house, which means I'll be going back to Rhode Island, in all likelihood, or at least that's what I'm shooting for. The women will be more appealing in that area, no matter what part of RI it is.

Do you fret at the thought of not having a love interest in your life? Absolutely. I don't mind being alone, as I can amuse myself, but I certainly want to be in love again. I'm not in a rush to find it though, I'd rather the evolution happen naturally. I would like to find that love before buying the aforementioned house. But again, I still won't rush it to hit my 5 year window. Hopefully the stars will align and I'll find the woman for me.

 

[Bambi]

I'm in a relationship and I'm very happy, for some reason, I like the daft git lots and lots, but when I was single I didnt mind being alone...of course theres the intimacy that youre not getting and other coupley things, but I dont feel like I need a relationship to be happy- it's not someone elses responsibility to make you happy (overall) its your own, and if you feel you need to be in a relationship to be able to function, then theres summat wrong there. Do it because it feels right, not because you feel you need it.

I think theres always times when you are alone, you just wish you had someone, but I'd rather be on my own than just settle for the first available and willing person that came along

Ok, I don't want to be alone - I don't think, ultimately, anyone really does. But I can certainly function happily enough rather than just hop into a relationship just because I dont wanna be alone. It's worth it in the long run I think, and right now, I'm happy as a pig in shit with the 'not being alone' side of things

Was my post even on topic I dunno...either way thats my thoughts

same

 

[Æon Flux]

When I was younger I accepted id probably die the crazy cat lady~alone.
Deep down id love to have someone to lean on durring hard times but since ive never had that you realy cant miss what you never had,Ive always had to take care of others but i'd like someone to be arround but since ive accepted already it wont happen I know i'll probably die without someone by my side.
So for me im fine with being alone although it dosent bother me since for me its how its always been regardless of boyfriends i simply dont let them in so to speak, I think it would be mildly pleasent to have another arround in times of hardship though^^

 

[DeadFantasy]

There's times where all I want is to be alone just me myself and I but, at the same time, having someone there is a nice feeling too. Now, I wouldn't want to like Kelly, get in a relationship because i'm lonely/whatever other reason (have it rushed etc) 'cause being single isn't necessarily a bad thing. But I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy.


Some time in the future, I do want to settle and find someone but, until that comes, i'm perfectly fine being alone

 

[M1ghty Mous3]

I don't mind it. I seem to have no trouble entertaining myself while no one is around. It's very strange because i'm a social person. But seemlesly being able to perfom just as well on my own is odd.

I don't see myself getting married and dying with a wife or anything. And it doesn't bother me. So long as i have a fun and good life, i won't really care what happens to me. Lifes a roller coaster, ya gotta be able to get into it or you'll be in for a bumpy ride.

 

[Dee]

At my age, I am quite happy being alone. In fact, I much prefer it that way. I'm not the kind of person who needs to be in a relationship or needs another person to be attached to in such a manner. I am probably way more independent than I need to be (so it seems from what other people have said/believe), but that's the way I like it. Whenever my mom talks about me getting married--I joke with her and say that's never going to happen--it really honestly scares me to death. I could never imagine myself having found a guy and fallen in love enough that I would consider getting married in the next 5 or even 10 years. I just don't see it. Relationships, for some reason, freak me out. I don't want that. I'm perfectly fine going home alone and having myself and only myself to worry about.

 

[Crystal]

Haven;t been in a relationship yet and it does start to bother me. I know I'm only 18 and the right person will come soon. but when I look at other people who are in a relationship (and I actually should not do that) then I start to feel even more lonely. Especially when your best friend is telling you how much in love she is and tells how great everything is about her guy. Or she tells whoever is in love with her again.
It's been a while I fell in love and definetely want to soon and hope my love will be answered then. But I know I shouldnt search for it and I just have to see what the future will bring. =)

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

I'm one of those people who's happier in a relationship, and with someone. I'm not really quite sure why, but I just prefer it that way. I like having someone I can talk to at pretty much any time and who I can be open with, which is odd since I find that a difficult thing to do.

It annoys me that I'm so introverted, so it makes getting into a relationship difficult for me but I know that I don't necessarily need to be with someone to be happy, so I can get by.

 

[Oblivion_XIII]

Alone is how I've lived for all my life, on and off.

After school, I just sit in my room all day, not wanting to be disturbed, I blow off people half the time if they want to hang out, even though it is rare. I've never really had a lot of "real" friends. Hell, the only real friend I have lives far away. I never get invited to parties and the sort.

So I've become used to being alone, I actually like it. Now, I just talk with people online to cure myself if I feel lonely, and it works.

I'm also the only person I know of who that's my age, who hasn't tried to start dating, never really have had a person that I wanted to date.

So being alone for me, is not all that bad.

 

[Abstract Debauchery]

I've been alone, and I've been in a long term relationship. After experiencing the relationship, I don't think I ever want to be in another one again. (Terrible experience. )

I've pretty much come to terms with being alone. I don't mind it. I still have some awesome friends, and at the end of the day, if getting into a relationship means I have to risk getting back into a bad one, I never want to try it again.

Though, even at 21, I'm still too young to decide that for sure. I'm sure I'll be fine alone, but who knows? Maybe things will change, and I'll get into a good relationship for a change.

 

[Akamaru]

No bullshit, I LOVE sex. I just came out of a complicated relationship which was supposed to last forever, and honestly, if there's one thing most of the people in this Thread should learn, judging by our age group, is that:
a)You're too fucking young to know whether or not you'll die alone
b) If you haven't been in a relationship, then you don't really know what you need, besides sex, which you would need in any occasion
c) You're too fucking young

Now I know some people might not agree with this, but, I can't stress enough how fucking young we are lol.
The average lifespan of a man is around 75 years of age. That said, by the time you're 32, there's only 50% chance that you've even found the love of your life. So, I will say it again. You are too fucking young to know whether or not you'll die alone, or whether or not you can or cannot be alone, for that matter. Or whether you're "fine" with whatever condition you are in. And believe me that I am respectful of everyone's belief... but honestly, who're we shittin'? We ain't Final Fantasy characters, and we don't have all the capacity to fight everything thrown at us. That's what bonds are for, and that's what a society is for.
Alas, even I have beliefs of this sort, but as much as I do, I also know right from wrong.

That said, on to the topic.

Yes, being alone scares me shitless, because I didn't quite learn to cope with it. Instead of learning how to cope being alone, I just shrugged it off. That's what happens. Most people shrug it off and instead of learning what good there is in being single, just "wish they would find the love of their life" at age freakin' 15. This was my case, and it screwed my teen years royally, especially because by the time I turned 18, I got married to someone who now did not feel that hurt when it was impossible for us to be together anymore.

I do fear being alone because I just love the affection way too much. It won't make me less of a man to say that I can't stand living without feeling loved, or loving someone. And, I'm not ashamed to say either that I really can't hold out 3 months without sex. If that makes me afraid to be alone, then that's pretty much it.

But more than being alone, I'm afraid of being cheated on. I'm much too proud to take that like a man, and I would very likely react extremely, extremely wrong.
Sure, I'd rather get cheated on than cheating myself. My conscience would freaking kill me, but the thought of someone I love being physically close at an emotional level with someone foreign to the bond that I share with her or him, is just unbearable.

 

[Rydia]

I do not like the idea of being alone. Not just relationship wise but absolutely having no one. Right now it's especially bothering me because a lot of things in my life are changing.

I just graduated college and most of my college friends are moving back to their home town. My best friend also just graduated and there are no teaching jobs in our town, so she may be moving far away. Another friend just moved to Florida, another might move to europe for a few years. And two others live about an hour away. It kind of feels like everyone is leaving me XD All this year too.

So I am happy to be getting married. At least he can't move away from me XD.

 

[Martel]

I don't like the idea of NOT being alone, to be honest - I'm quite content with my own company.

I neither need nor want a relationship with someone: after all, I have friends I can talk to if I'm in need of companionship, and to me there is very little difference between a relationship and a friendship, asides the intimacy involved in the former - the idea of which makes my skin crawl. A relationship with me would just be a friendship in which we saw more of each other than usual, and that would probably be too much for both of us to bear.

The idea of love or even romantic attraction are completely foreign ones to me, and I've willingly embraced the fact that I'm going to go through life alone, without all these relationship things that are supposedly the best things in the world or whatever. It just doesn't interest or appeal to me; its more hassle than its worth. Even assuming I was ever attracted to someone (which is highly unlikely) I'm not interested in working through personality clashes with them when they would probably be closer to me if we were just friends.

Ultimately we're all alone, because you can't truly know the mind of another, but at the same time we're never alone, because we have friends, family or whoever to support us. So, whether you're actually alone or not depends on your perspective. I change my perspective to suit my mood. XD

 

[Warrior of Light]

Although I prefer the presence of others, I don't mind being alone, either romantically or otherwise. I can manage just fine on my own, but I'd much rather have the company of like-minded individuals. A person can stand on their own two feet, but it's always nice to have a helping hand. Plus I can learn a lot from other people, and they can learn lots from me.

 

[der Astronom]

Whatever's wrong with dying alone anyways? I actually see it as an advantage, not to mind dying alone. Don't know why I'd want that to change. I'm not saying it will happen, but if it did, I wouldn't fear it.

I do not fear being alone; I prefer it. I don't need attention from lots of people, and I don't hang out with friends all that often. I also enjoy a bachelor's life; you live your own life by yourself, and don't have to change your standards for someone else (and I guess you're not supposed to anyways). I don't mind having a few friends, and don't need friends that are particularly close; not to the point where you have to reveal stuff about yourself, which may be potentially damaging.

I don't need love in my life, as I am much too occupied by things I know I benefit from and from which I enjoy. I'm much too unsocial for something like love anyways.

And no, I don't need sex. It's just excess baggage that's not worth the trouble. To me anyways.