[Birthweek 2016] Assassinate Andre the Adamantoise!

Dionysos

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Meet Andre!

OrB79QJ.png


Arrr!

Andre the Adamantoise is a rough and rowdy pirate captain, who just happens to also be an adamantoise. So far Andre’s piratical career has seen him sink every ship he has ever commanded. This is not, as you might think, through any failings of his with navigation or controlling a vessel. Rather, with his shell made of adamantium, Andre is simply too heavy! Davy Jones has claimed all of the loot Andre has ever amassed.

Infuriated, but far from giving up, Andre now has his heart set on sailing a new sea, and to exercise another form of piracy. That’s right, the expansive and populous seas of the worldwide web are Andre’s new hunting ground! Through his spyglass Andre has spotted FFF, and he plans to loot the forum of its original content and amiable memberbase and turn it into a torrent streaming site!

We must end him now!

How?
Simply make a description of an attack and I will draw the injury in.

Example:
Someone may post...
‘Andre is mistaken for a blastoise and Ash throws a Poke Ball at him’

Consequently, I would draw:
lo61saR.png


Be creative! Be warned though, Andre is strong and can withstand much. You can track his current status at the bottom of this post.

To give order to this game I will be using dice to determine how much Andre has been damaged for each attack. (I will be using this website for the rolls: http://www.random.org/dice/).

Andre has a starting HP of 50. Each attack will minus whatever a single die rolls to Andre’s HP.

Each person can only attack only once until the next calculation period. These calculation periods (or Turns) will essentially be whenever it is that I have been able to draw Andre’s injuries and calculate his current HP.

Andre will also be healed during a Turn. 3 dice will be rolled and the sum will be added to his health! Kill him before he regenerates!

The person to land the death-dealing blow on Andre will be crowned the winner. The player who deals the most damage throughout the entirety of the game shall also get a prize.


Some further rules:
Do not ruin this by requesting naughty things to be done to Andre. Anything too rude and vulgar to depict in drawing will be ignored.
Also, any crazy commands such as ‘decapitate Andre!’, while it will be drawn, he will not be insta-killed by such moves. The ‘healing dice’ of a Turn will do much to stitch his head back into place.

Prize:
1st place - 50 Gil - 5 BWP
2nd place – 40 Gil - 3 BWP
3rd place – 30 Gil - 2 BWP

25 Gil and 1 BWP will be granted to anybody who has entered this game after their first command, but no further payment will be made after any following turns.

Let’s kill him!


Current state of Andre:
7TZlC8U.png


Total HP = 0.
 

Attachments

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Andre the Adamantoise gets into a debate with FFVII fans about why FFVII is not the best in the series
 
Adrosaur begins taunting Andre the Adamantoise.
 
One such enraged diehard FFVII fan, who makes her intense dedication and love for the game so conspicuous with her Aerith cosplay, decides to ram her cosplay costume staff right down Andre's oesophagus.
 
That was a nice drawing of Ash I must say.

Andre slips on a banana peel and falls on his back and can't get back up
 
As Andre is falling down he gets his right tusk caught in a tree and his tusk breaks off in half, causing him to yell in much anger.
 
The FFF staff mistake Andre for a new member and give him an extra big, squishy hug.
 
I'm very sorry guys (and Andre!) but I've decided that I'm going to have to reduce Andre's starting HP from 100 to 50. This is because the Treasure Hunt game has taken more effort to run than I'd anticipated. Rather than cancelling the Kill the Monster event this year I'll just have to reduce the HP so that I don't have to update it quite so often, and it'll be over quicker (with luck).

I hope you understand!


Turn 1


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Andre the Adamantoise gets into a debate with FFVII fans about why FFVII is not the best in the series = - 2

Adrosaur begins taunting Andre the Adamantoise = - 5

One such enraged diehard FFVII fan, who makes her intense dedication and love for the game so conspicuous with her Aerith cosplay, decides to ram her cosplay costume staff right down Andre's oesophagus = -1

Andre steps on a lego, amidst trying to avoid the attacks = - 3

Andre slips on a banana peel and falls on his back and can't get back up = - 2

As Andre is falling down he gets his right tusk caught in a tree and his tusk breaks off in half, causing him to yell in much anger = -5

The FFF staff mistake Andre for a new member and give him an extra big, squishy hug = -2

Andre is mistaken for a thief and gets beaten by Batman = -3

Total HP = 27

-
Healing dice:
5+1+4 = 10

Andre recovers 10 HP!

i60iWwY.png


Current HP = 37


You may now request your next moves!
 
Andre is run over by a stampede of Chocobos!
 
Andre is pegged in the eye by a Dodo.
 
A gust of wind begins to blow off Andre's hat revealing a very embarrassing bald spot, he tries to hide it and is shamed.
 
Jeremy Clarkson is refusing to brake. His expensive sports car hurtles at Andre at I dunno, 200mph and collides with Andre, making him the third deadliest road hazard after the Chocobos and the emus.
 
Andre takes an Arrow to the knee. :8F:
I expected this to show up eventually but not from you. For shame!

Andre is attacked by a random ninja and gets a shuriken in the eye.
 
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