Sticks and stones...

[Channizard]

Ahh another thread where I can say that nobody has any merit to what they're saying because they haven't gone through what I have. Excellent.

The reason why kids are so cruel and hateful is because they have no sense on conscious, the younger they are, the less aware of what they're doing/saying. Eventually, parents catch on that something's going on, and by ages 12-14 kids are getting talked to that bullying is bad. But by then, kids potentially go through years of torment.

As some people have said, it's the right words that can hurt. As a fat kid with fat kid insecurities, if someone called me gay or retarded, I wouldn't care. But if they pick on something that I know is wrong within myself, then it just further reinforces the thought that that thing is all the more wrong with me. And the same goes with all insecurities. Eventually people pick up on these and notice the impact it has on the victim so they keep on with it. Eventually over time it degrades you, and your self esteem.

What can you do about it? You either give in to it and wallow in self pity and make it worse with the mentality that "Well I'm already fat/dumb, may as well keep eating/not even try in school". Or you can change and prove them wrong.

However I think it's entirely hypocritical of people to use the phrase, or tell people to not get so butthurt over things. Just because they're not experiencing the pain at that moment or they're insensitive gives them no right to just say 'get over it'.

 

[Abstract Debauchery]

Not to be offensive, but you haven't exactly gone through what anyone else has gone through either. You can't ride off what everyone says just because you feel as if you had it worse, or they simply can't understand some kind of pain or mental trauma that you may have gone through.

Everyone is different, has different insecurities, and has lived different lives. We've all been picked on as kids, but there are the kinds of people that didn't care, and the kinds that did. I was a fat kid, and I was picked on all the time, so you know what I did?

I fucking ate some ice cream, haters gonna hate. People tried to bring me down then, but I realized that words can only hurt you if you are the one putting the power behind them. Once you let it go, once you stop caring what others think of you, you're good.

Even now, people will try to say I'm an ass, etc. etc. I fucking know, and I don't care.

I went through some fucked up shit in my lifetime, but I'm not about to sit there and say that no one else has any merit because they lived differently than I did.

Like I said, you just got to let that shit go. Once you stop putting power into words, you'll find that they never had any power to begin with. It's what you make of it, and if you're having problems with what people are saying about you, it's more of a personal problem then it is a problem with them.

 

[Six]

For those who have said physical abuse wounds heal more quickly than verbal ones though, what about something like rape? Rape is a horrific form of physical abuse whose visual memory alone can haunt you for the rest of your life. Or what about people who are touched inappropriately by family members as children, and it takes them twenty years just to open up to someone else about it? I mean I don't know about anyone else, but I don't think I could ever look in the mirror and go "Boy, I'm so glad I was raped, rather than having been verbally sexually harrassed!", even if the verbal harrassment was caused by a large group of people and went on for a long period of time. If you're put in a traumatic physical situation like physical abuse, you can have visual memories of the attack imprint themselves into your brain and never leave.

No, you are right, it's something you can be traumatized with, and most victims really won't get over it.

But like most people have also said, MOST of the time. If we're taking the extreme events here, words don't mean shit. Though, while you could be dealing with rape and getting over it, a mention of words about the subject will get to you as well, therefor, both words and 'sticks' can hurt people.

And that's exactly why I said it has nothing to do with having a backbone.

 

[Channizard]

Not to be offensive, but you haven't exactly gone through what anyone else has gone through either. You can't ride off what everyone says just because you feel as if you had it worse, or they simply can't understand some kind of pain or mental trauma that you may have gone through.

That's not at all offensive, cause I reread what I wrote and I realized I came off bitchier than I intended to.

I didn't mean to say that I'm writing off what people are saying because my shit was worse, because there are different levels of shitiness.

That being said, I think that words that insult your physical appearance have more against you than say, behavioral. Because you can change how you act around people, but you can't change your looks so easily. And even if you try, if it's something that's manageable (such as weight) it still takes time, and people will still pick on you in the process of it.

 

[Six]

The verdict basically is. You can never state your circumstances are worse than anyones, because in the end it all depends on how someone takes it.

You could be a strong person, going through something as bad as physical abuse every day, and keep your head up, and live on.

Or you could be a weak person, devasted by words.

End of the day, logically speaking, yes, person A has it worse, but person B has more trouble dealing.

So, in the end it really comes down to the person.



I'm also not pointing fingers with this message, just stating my five or so cents.

 

[Abstract Debauchery]

That's not at all offensive, cause I reread what I wrote and I realized I came off bitchier than I intended to.

Well then, it's all good in the neighborhood.

I didn't mean to say that I'm writing off what people are saying because my shit was worse, because there are different levels of shitiness.

That being said, I think that words that insult your physical appearance have more against you than say, behavioral. Because you can change how you act around people, but you can't change your looks so easily. And even if you try, if it's something that's manageable (such as weight) it still takes time, and people will still pick on you in the process of it.

Which is why you (not to say "you" as in you, but "you" as in people in general) have to stop letting it get to you. So, let's say Uglyface Mcbumsfuck over here has literally been named the "World's Ugliest Man". I can sympathize with the guy. That's got to fucking suck.

However, that title only has as much power behind it as he, himself, puts into it. At this point, it's either letting that get to him, and making it make him a miserable fuck until the day he dies, or writing that shit off like last years taxes, and moving on.

Essentially, it comes down to the phrase "different strokes for different folks". Words are completely harmless unless you're putting power into them. The only fuel for the fire can come from within.

[insert more sappy as shit lines here]

 

[Channizard]

Yeah. SORRY EVERYBODY, I CAME OFF BITCHIER THAN I MEANT. I'M A CUNT.

Now that that's dealt with, I'm not entirely sure how to say what I was trying to say.. But you're right. The power, and the power you give to people in their words, is what sucks the most usually.

But what if that power is robbed from you when not just one, but multiple people are on your case for being fat, short, have a big nose, whatever.. you have virtually no power to begin with because suddenly there's this group of people who are picking on you, rather than one person. Is it any easier to brush off then?

inceidentally though, my mum says im looking fat or i l9ook like shit and im like...cheers mum *butthurt* not that i let on that im butthurt, but i am

Awr Kelly, mums can be bitches sometimes.

 

[Abstract Debauchery]

Yeah. SORRY EVERYBODY, I CAME OFF BITCHIER THAN I MEANT. I'M A CUNT.

I couldn't resist myself. I am such a sexy bastard.

But what if that power is robbed from you when not just one, but multiple people are on your case for being fat, short, have a big nose, whatever.. you have virtually no power to begin with because suddenly there's this group of people who are picking on you, rather than one person. Is it any easier to brush off then?

I can see your point, but it still works the whole way. You just got to nope.avi, or hatersgonnahate.gif that shit out. Odds are, as soon as they realize that you don't give a shit, they're going to move on to the next target. Then it's no longer your problem, and it exposes them as the assholes that they are.

No fuel = no fire.

 

[mattbgamer]

Essentially, it comes down to the phrase "different strokes for different folks". Words are completely harmless unless you're putting power into them. The only fuel for the fire can come from within.

[insert more sappy as shit lines here]

I couldn't have said it better myself my friend. I am a firm believer that words have no true meaning unless you take them to heart. I could sit here and call Ringo a pompous arrogant asshole all day, but he doesn't care about what the words mean or what the person saying the words even thinks then he can just sit there and listen without a care in the world.

I was in the same boat as Ringo I was the fat kid in school that had almost no friends and was constantly the brunt of a lot of jokes. I would go home and cry because I let the words get to me. When I got to my senior year I had lost quite a lot of weight but was still getting made fun of (big assholes at my school) but I didn't let it get to me. Not only did I not care about what they were saying, I just thought to myself how bad their life will turn out because of all the negativity they spew out of their mouths. Out of all the guys who made fun of me, only one of them isn't in jail right now...the other is on probation.

Anyway I think that like other people said the saying itself is just something kids made up on the playground. And adults and teens sometimes take it too literal and make a mountain out a an anthill.

 

[Channizard]

I just threaten to put her in a home, or remind her how olllllld she is

I don't think she realises the 'god youve put weight on' bothers me as much as it does, beacuse i usually just tell her to fuck off

rofl. You should just cry one day. See how she reacts to that.

I couldn't resist myself. I am such a sexy bastard.

I can see your point, but it still works the whole way. You just got to nope.avi, or hatersgonnahate.gif that shit out. Odds are, as soon as they realize that you don't give a shit, they're going to move on to the next target. Then it's no longer your problem, and it exposes them as the assholes that they are.

No fuel = no fire.

But not everyone is as strong as that, y'know? If I'da known then what I know now about not giving a reaction, I could be better off. But there are weak hearted people out there who give in or show emotion quicker than others. Sadly, it sucks.

i think thats more about showing that it bothers you than actually being able to brush it off, if you can pretend to them at least you dont give a shit, then they will move on, because at the end of the day, bullies are looking for an easy target. Someone tried to pick on me once, she got a firm 'fuck off' I think that was summat I was wearing. And whenever I got called flat chested, that would get the two fingers as well. I think anyone with a 'tude looks at a person and thinks, how can i hurt this person... and if you react to it, youre fucked.

Im not sure if im getting on to a whole other topic here now....

Also applicable here. And yah we're straying off topic now I think

 

[Abstract Debauchery]

But not everyone is as strong as that, y'know? If I'da known then what I know now about not giving a reaction, I could be better off. But there are weak hearted people out there who give in or show emotion quicker than others. Sadly, it sucks.

Well, this is going to sound rather assholeish of me, but I'm an ass. If I sound like I'm being offensive, which I will be, I apologize in advance.

That's exactly what I meant by "personal problem". However, that's getting off topic, and I think I'm out of 2 cents to throw in for now.

 

[Bambi]

hindsights a bitch. if we knew then what we know now... I see your point, and we all do react differently, ive always ahd a strong personality and ive never really let alot bother me - I think the fact that I never showed when summat did kinda helped though, i admit i hid in the loos and cried on like, 2 occasions when I was a nipper though, cant for the life of me think why now mind, i was only in primary school hahaha.

It's like, someone telling you will fail as well I suppose, or you are useless, if you get that from a young age, even by one person and it's regular - shit's gunna stick

/gets back on topic, ohhh yeahhhhh

 

[Shu]

Well logically yes, physical harm is worse than mental, but we are talking about mere situational factors here.

If we are talking about small little punches and stuff that kids probably refer to then no emotional damage is a lot worse. If we mean a torture where you have bamboo chutes shoved up your nails then the physical transcends to the mental. But I think what they mean is being picked on as opposed to getting shoved, hit thrown down..

Emotionally you can mind screw someone into depression and bipolar chemical imbalances. It's weird what our brain can do when shunned by mankind. I've seen perfectly good looking folks get made fun of into the grown due to the fact they have not social defenses. They don't have a way with words due to their nature. They cut themselves though and do other things physical to make them feel something. As far as mental, they are as a low as they can get.

I don't think sticks hurt more than words.. because if you have a way with your tongue, (pervs) you can totally make someone's day go from okay to.. I wanna kill myself.

 

[L]

I think it's all fine and great that some people don't seem to care what people think about them, but going back to the scenario of multiple people:

Let's say for example, that a group of people always give your friend a hard time and they stress over it frequently. One day you happen to be present in light of such an occurrence.

Maybe they're teasing them over something their father did before he passed away that was frowned down upon by society, and despite said events, was still a member of the family held dear to their heart.

I have a hard time believing that anyone is really locked up like Fort Knox, where there's nothing but pansies, rainbows, it rains Dr. Pepper and is inhabited by unicorns ridden by lusty half naked battle maidens that procure fresh oven baked pepperoni pizzas from their farts.

 

[M1ghty Mous3]

I would rather put some one in Mental shambles then breaking their bones. When people are MENTALLY attacked, is when the most damage is done. That shit stays with people for awhile. It's easier to get over a broken arm, it's hard as fuck to get over some one calling you a pile of shit your whole life.

"Imma break your neck biiiiitch."

"O RLY? Imma make everyone know how much of a little cry baby your are by exposing your home life to everyone who is scared of you. They won't be scared when they know you wet the bed every night."

 

[Demon]

It depends on the person. Some people can take words and brush them off. With others, certain words could cause them a pain which lasts longer than a punch on the arm.

I think there are certain uses for the statement "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me", such as to say that nothing a person says or is saying will affect them. But sometimes, they actually do hurt.

 

[Toshiya]

I just came across this topic and decided to offer my view as well :dave:

Words and physical pain obviously hurt in different ways, but I'm with the people that say words cause more lasting damage - obviously there's special cases, but I just mean generally. For me, being punched/kicked is a lot less painful than words.

Although, words hurt depending on what is said or who says them. If anyone calls me the most rude word they can think of, I don't care. Call me a cunt and it doesn't bother me because I know you've just thought of the worst thing you can think of and there's no meaning behind it.
Likewise, if somebody who doesn't know me calls me a bitch, I don't care. They don't know me, how can you judge, etc. Just because you've had a small impression of me or maybe met me once, you can't justify calling me anything.
However, if one of my close friends was arguing with me and they said something like, 'Char you're being such a bitch', it would probably sting. Not much mind, but it'd sting nontheless. Or if one of them made a comment like, 'you're a slag', I'd probably be offended as well, but if someone random said that I wouldn't care either.

The only thing that really bothers me when randomers say things is comments on appearance - if someone random makes a comment on my appearance like, oh her hair's awful, or she's fat (I used to get that, not anymore, I've lost weight. I was never really fat either but people regard anything above a size 8 fat down here, it's infuriating) then it really gets to me because I know randomers are more likely to be honest about your appearance than friends or people you don't get along with - friends obviously are going to tell you you look fine even if you don't.
Worst thing is, I think, is if you get picked on for stuff you can't help. Like in primary school kids don't know better and pick on people for stuff they can't control like if they wear glasses. Even now, I have a friend who is really preoccupied with the size of her chest, and if anyone makes a comment, no matter how jokey, about her being flat-chested, she takes it completely to heart.

I hope that made sense. All in all I think words are a lot more powerful than physical violence.

Tl;dr post