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Linnaete

sus
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Dionysos, aka the great Polyphemos Bromios, has decided that a life of plundering, looting and butchery in the open seas is too high octane for him now that he's no longer as sprightly as he was in his more junior days. He takes up the next most logical career path a former pirate hailing from the Limsa Lominsan thalassocracy would take: become an Uber driver.

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Linnaete: "You DO know how to drive this thing, right?"

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Polyphemos: "Bwahahahahaha, why of course I do, wee lassie!"
Linnaete: "If you say so, I guess. I'll crawl over to the rear seats in case though, as it doesn't even look like that driver's seat fits you."


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Polyphemos: "I say, lassie. When I was a pirate, there was one time when one of my Moogle comrades was unjustly hanged for h-"
Linnaete: "Watch where you're driving!"


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Linnaete: "Great work."
Polyphemos: "Ah, well. At least we get a lovely view from up here. When I was a pirate all you could see were the open seas!"


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"Alas! I am wounded! Kind adventurer, I beseech you! Pray fetch me a healer in possession of a potent salve, for my wounds are many!"

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Pictured: the corpses of the adventurers who had the ill fortune of partying up with a healer as inept as Linnaete.

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Dark Knights pay tribute in Ul'dah to Kentaro Miura

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Aaaaaaaaaahhhh! Linnaete finally reunites with her one true love.

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I'd commission artwork of this, but it will probably be flagged NSFW and get me banned from the forums.
 

Linnaete

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It's been a few months. Let's catch up on Linnaete and see how many fellow adventurers have died horrible deaths on her watch.

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This Midlander Hyur died a horrible death, though it was not a fiend in a dangerous dungeon that did him in. The real culprit was said to be a profoundly vexed blonde Miqo'te woman who took particular issue with the fact the victim dared to copy her fashion sense.

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Someone help me. Alisaie is becoming so genre-savvy that come Endwalker she'll break the fourth wall entirely.

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Okay, now she's just talking crazy stuff. If there is only a single deity, won't they get lonely? What kind of divine existence is worth living if you can't even cause worldwide cataclysms by just getting into a petty spat with another god amongst a pantheon?

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It's just Linnaete early in the morning when she's just got out of bed. Do not be so alarmed.

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What is she even on about? What is she feeding us?! Would you stay for a banquet you've been invited to if one of your hosts starts talking about bulls' balls?

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Well, whatever was in the food, it's already claimed the life of one unfortunate victim. Linnaete seems unaffected, because she's probably had deadlier food while as a student.

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Seeing as Ubisoft harbours no desire to make an Assassin's Creed game set in Edo Japan, Linnaete figured she'd make her own. Unfortunately for her, she fell off and there was no convenient bale of hay below to break her fall. Fortunately for her, a particularly meaty Roegadyn standing at the foot of the hostelry tower just so happened to be idling at the wrong place at the wrong time.

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A picture presented with no context, because I sure as heck don't quite know what's going on here. Whatever is happening, that bipedal robot is enjoying it so much it's resorted to T-posing.

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Pictured: Linnaete and Polyphemos Bromios observing a quaint dwarf family about to enjoy a lovely supper safe within the confines of their little Hobbit home. It's a good thing the other races are too large to comfortably enter else the pair would happily invite themselves round for dinner.

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...Not that will stop Linnaete from breaking and entering by essentially using Kamehameha to blast a gaping hole into the side of the dwarves' property. RIP, dwarves. You don't deserve this display of wanton barbarism.

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No comment. There is nothing afoot here. Promise.

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To take up healing is to provide succor to anyone in dire danger. Nah, I'm kidding. I'm sure this gentleman is fine and can pull himself back up on his own. What does Linnaete look like to you? A charity?

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In other weird and wonderful Eorzean news, we have a former pirate-turned-axe-wielding-cowboy Polyphemos Bromios getting around on a...that's Dumbo. But as a pig instead of an elephant. Dumbo pig. With cutesy eyelashes.

...

...am I on some potent hallucinogens?


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No affront to nature is complete without a flying T-Rex to accompany the cowboy on a flying Dumbo pig. We've strayed so far from Hydaelyn's light that I'm surprised the planet hasn't turned into another Void.
 

Dionysos

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Forgot to upload these. But this is what day one of a new patch looks like, I guess!

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Kugane Tower (Savage) before I 'wiped'.
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Abandoning Liv at the top of a tower.
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I have no suitable caption for this.
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Ser Linnaete Mellemme, seeker of coin, defender of darkness.
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Yee-haw! Polyphemos living the Old Western life.
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The Free Company 'spawn point'.
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Just here to suck out your soul, don't mind me.
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Jumping through Kira's elephant to say hi.
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Getting stuck.
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Checking out Liv's training routine by sneaking up with my LJ.
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Six

𝗟𝗲𝘁'𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝗲𝘆! 🔪
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Image dump!!

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I don't... I don't even know?

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So, because I don't know - Liv and I decided to join.

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The struggle in this fight was real.

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They're defo trying to murder my PS4.

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Aha! Glitched the system to where you can SIT on the couch like this. Comfy.

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Guy serenading Ul'dah!

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Linnaete

sus
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Boop.

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“I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces.”
― Tara Gilesbie, My Immortal


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A typical day in Limsa. Just some cleaning staff diligently doing their best to brush aside a homicide.

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"You've come to the wrong neighbourhood, motherf****rs, kupo!"

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"Teheheheeee, you've come to the wrong neighbourhood, gorgeous!" ♡

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Linnaete: "Did you two approach the wrong neighbourhood only to be caught as well?"
Polyphemos: "Yup." :sad:
Seven: "....auehdehdehdehdiedie"


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I was lost in a bear-en land and had to find my bearings. Luckily, I came across what is paw-sibly the most unbearably...a-paw-lling landmark...okay, I really don't have many usable bear puns in mind.

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"Daddy bear, what are you doing up there in the Tower of Bearbel?"

"Goldilocks is goddamn crazy and I want to get as far away from her as possible!"


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RIP people with PS4s. How fitting it is that it's a summer seasonal event that causes your console to finally give up on life.

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...I'll just let the chat speak for itself.

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Seven's and Harly's work on their debut joint album is going swimmingly. Will they finish the album first or will the residency managers evict them first in response to an avalanche of neighbourhood complaints about an incessant cacophony of insufferable noise?
 

Six

𝗟𝗲𝘁'𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝗲𝘆! 🔪
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Random nonsense in the Aery.
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More random nonsense.
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SOMEONE'S in trouble Sprout
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Even more nonsense, imagine that.
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This isn't right, tbh.
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Anti Tower triple tank power + dancer! Who needs a healer?
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Solo shots!
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Linnaete Paddy McGee Sprout
 

Sprout

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Those photos of you in the sorta field are pretty amazing mind. Six
Of course, Vivi's embarrassment at us taking up stripping is my favourite :lew:.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Six

Six

𝗟𝗲𝘁'𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝗲𝘆! 🔪
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Massive fashion show dump!

We are ded.
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Seven Rivers - new Dancer glam!

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Astrologian ♥
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Dionysos

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Stephen Critchlow (VA of Count Edmont de Fortemps) passed away the other day, and people have been lightning flames and standing outside the Fortemps Manor to pay their respects.

Sometimes the FFXIV community can be great.

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