Real Friends Vs Internet Friends.

[Squid]

Checked for a thread like this, couldn't find one, delete if it already exists Yadda, yadda, Yadda.

~*~

Right, so. What do you guys prefer, internet friends or real friends or maybe you like a mix?
Do you find you can do and say some stuff with one group and not the other?
Do you act differently around real friends than you do with internet ones?
Are there any benefits of having internet friends over real friends (and Vice Versa) and do you find that there any disadvantages?

I'm about to go home soon so I'll answer later
​

 

[Lirael]

When I was 15 and 16, internet friends were better. I was extremely shy and only felt comfortable coming out of my shell online. Consequently, the people online knew the traces of my heart and my mind a little better. Furthermore, they gave me the confidence that no real life friend could. Having a collection of friends online who appreciated who I was reassured me that it was okay to me myself. With their support, I became more confident in real life.

By the age of 17, I had made friends in real life who knew me and liked who I was. For the first 2 years, my online friends remained equally important. I came online often to maintain contact with them, and valued them in the same way I value my friends in real life.

But as we all know, many friends part when time passes. People move on through life. They have new commitments which sometimes take them away from the life they knew before. This happened to a large number of my online friends before it happened to me, but eventually it happened to me too.

I now spend very little time talking via instant messengers. Consequently, I don't talk to my online friends as much. I email them occasionally, and there are a couple I have on Facebook, but it's limited. I still care for the friends I have online, and if they really need me, I'll support them, but I prefer interaction to be in person.

Mind you, I don't talk to the majority of my real life friends a lot either! I talk to them mainly when I see them in person, and I suppose I see each friend once every couple of months.

As for whether I act differently...not intentionally. I don't think it's possible to be yourself entirely, since the person you talk to online will always have to interpret some of the text without paralanguage and prosodic features (face expressions and intonation). Your personality online will therefore (almost) always be partly fabricated, not necessarily by you, but by the people who read what you write in a way that's slightly different to the way you intended.

 

[Kandy-Sugar]

Right, so. What do you guys prefer, internet friends or real friends or maybe you like a mix?​

I prefer real life friends most of the time. Communication is much easier and it's good to be able to hang out face to face and what not. It makes the connection much stronger for me personally.

I do like having internet friends though. At one stage I actually preferred them to real life friends. So I guess I do like a mix but tend to lean towards real life friends more.

Do you find you can do and say some stuff with one group and not the other?

Sometimes I can. It's easier to say what you really want when you're online because you get to type it all out and then erase something if you think you shouldn't say it etc etc.

Whereas in real life, you would have already said it and can't take it back, or perhaps stayed away from the subject all together.

It's easier to say what you really feel when it's not face to face.

Do you act differently around real friends than you do with internet ones?

As @Lirael said:

I don't think it's possible to be yourself entirely, since the person you talk to online will always have to interpret some of the text without paralanguage and prosodic features (face expressions and intonation). Your personality online will therefore (almost) always be partly fabricated, not necessarily by you, but by the people who read what you write in a way that's slightly different to the way you intended.

It's much harder for people to know if you're acting the way you do in real life to how you act online when all they can see is what you've written. There is no room for anything else. You can't tell if they meant it this way or that.

So even though I might not intentionally act differently online, it might come across that way.

Are there any benefits of having internet friends over real friends (and Vice Versa) and do you find that there any disadvantages?

​

Real Life Friends:

Pros: You get to hang out and have more bonding moments.

Cons: You can't always say what you want, as it is harder to do that sort of thing face to face. Confrontation isn't something I like. >.<

Online Friends:

Pros: Most of my online friends have always been from overseas so I like that I have variety in my friendships online. Meeting different people and always having something different to talk about is always good. =) Learning new things etc etc.

Cons: When you lose interest in the internet, you lose your online friendships. =/ I had a group of friends when I was younger and when I lost all interest in forums and such I lost that group of friends and could never find them again. =/ Sadly we didn't have each others numbers, emails etc. We only spoke on a forum and when it shut down people just disappeared. So yeah, losing your internet friends is much easier than real life ones sadly. =/

 

[Bambi]

i like to have a mix, ive made a few good friends from the internet that Id of never met ever irl afew that id consider some of my closest friends. I couldnt have just internet friends though, i like to be able to go out and socialise and shit. ]

Im just waiting for teleportation to be invented then im all set

 

[Dionysos]

I definitely find it easier to talk to internet friends than real friends. However, recently my closeness to internet people has been dropping, due to not being on the internet as much and therefore sadly losing contact with people and finding myself being out of the loop.

With the internet I can think clearer and get more of myself and what I think out there.

With real people I generally don’t say very much and might appear blank and statue-like to many people. There are certain peoples that I am much better with in real life, who share similar interests or I just feel more relaxed around them, and these I suppose are my friend-friends.

As for acting differently… A lot of people act differently around different types of people in the real world in a general sense, so I think that this is naturally extended to the online world too. There may be friends online who are your friends for different reasons than the next person who is also an online friend (and therefore the type of conversations you have and the level of conversation would be different). I do generally act different in real life than online, mainly because while I may be relaxed with some of my real-life friends I still am not totally relaxed or present in mind, whereas online I have no pressure (except for time).

On the other hand there are a few real-life friends that I can have much deeper conversations with than anyone on here, but I think that is mainly because online we don’t always share what we like or talk about things like that (or such things are posted in threads, but not discussed within a conversation) / we inevitably don’t know each other as well / there isn’t any pressure to continue a conversation / many people are lurkers and do not always engage in conversation. As much as I love killer whales I do not think that I could have a full conversation about them.

As for benefits and disadvantages…
The benefits for online friends are that you don’t need to leave the house to meet people.
An immediately striking disadvantage is that you don’t need to leave the house to meet people.

While I think that the internet (or this forum in particular) has helped me a lot in terms of communicating with people online, making friends, and knowing what other people think / express of themselves, I do not think that it made my out-in-the-wild communication skills any better. It became too easy just to have internet friends as friends and avoid socialising with real-life people. I think it doesn’t help when all your real-life friends are also people who spend time socialising on the internet (different forums), or when they are recluses of the truest sense. Not socialising with real people much wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t then in turn actually affect the communication skills which are vital to human survival. There needs to be a balance, and I’m going to take more opportunities to do things with real life people. I probably won’t be as active socially as most people seem to be, but I don’t really need that either.

There will be other benefits and disadvantages too, but I think most of the ones I’d have mentioned are either within the post somewhere or have been mentioned by the other posters in this thread.

 

[ribbit]

I like to mix the two. I have a cluster of close/semi-close internet friends, and about 5 or 6 close real life friends. I'm better with online people because I'm extremely shy and don't like a lot of people at my school Plus it's easier to find friends on the internet that have more similar interests and can play games with me

 

[Squid]

Back when I was 13 til about 15 I was very big on internet friends, I had my real life friends but I dunno, something about the internet ones appealed to me a little more and I always found that I could talk to them a lot more openly about things, for some reason I found them more fun and I dunno, I just liked it more.

Then at 16 I found the world outside the computer and left my internet friends behind to pursue a real life. During this time I valued my real friends more because I didn't really have any internet friends bar one. Then recently, I joined FFF and have kind of started to enjoy having some forum friends. Though I don't have many who I'd actually call a friend. One or two.

I don't really open up to anyone, online or not. I don't believe in dumping my problems on people, no one needs to hear that stuff so I just keep it to myself unless it's really bothering me or not really a big deal.

I guess my question about whether you act differently around one or the other was a bit dodge... coz meh I guess you act differently around each individual friend whether it is online or offline lmfao so I wont bother to answer that because yeah I probably do act differently around each person I talk with.

CBF with the advantages and disadvantages, most people already said it anyway

 

[Mitsuki]

I've never actually sat and contemplated whether I prefer real-life friends over internet-friends, vice-versa. I don't have any preferences over the other. In real life, I've only got four friends. Two are sisters, and the other two are married to each other. We're all in the same circle; been that way since high school. I actually hardly ever see them... we all have our own lives to manage now, but every few months or so, we'll go out for dinner. So socializing in real life is out of the question for me right now, even if I wanted to. So we stick to text messaging, but even that's not as frequent either. (Now when I mean 'socializing' I don't mean going out to party. I've been invited to go out clubbing, but I can't see myself doing any of that.)

So then comes online friends. Well. I only have a few. But let's rewind a bit. Back in my teen days, I used to frequent chatrooms. I even met one of my online friends in real life when I moved to Ohio six years ago. Even to this day, we'll still contact each other, via text or letters. It's nice to be able to meet cool individuals out there, even if you know that you may never see that person in real life.

Do I act differently around real friends than internet ones? Realistically, it really depends on the person we're interacting with. As Argor said, we act differently around a group of people or individuals. I certainly act differently around my family (in-laws included) than my irl friends. Not because I'd want to be fake towards the other; I don't think there's anything wrong with acting differently towards others, whether it's intentional or not. Sometimes you just have to apply the appropriate face to certain individuals as well - and typically this is associated with a negative connotation, but it doesn't always have to be that way.

Benefits and disadvantages...I don't think I have anything for this. Real-life friends or online friends...it is what it is, and I prefer not to delve deeper than that. There's really no point, because how I see it is...if there's a connection and we want to keep that friend-relationship even years from now, then it'll happen - real-life friends or online friends.

 

[Richard B Riddick]

Online it seems as though more of a persons real personality and character are displayed. People make less of an effort to behave themselves and care less about what a person thinks of them or who they might offend due to the anonymity and disconnect present.

In a way, that's awesome. People who might try hard not to offend someone or be disrespectful in real life wouldn't necessarily have inhibitions doing so online.

Online interactions may well be a decent means of getting to know who a person really is. Less pretense, sometimes. But sometimes: more pretense. Since you never truly get to know the person its easy for a lot of people to fabricate & make stuff up.

Its easier to keep people at a distance online & if ppl are annoying you can just leave & avoid them. Whereas with social interactions its more difficult to distance yourself from people who are irritating or plain stupid without making them butthurt or having repurcussions of some type.

I s'pose each has its advantages & disadvantages.

 

[Martel]

Right, so. What do you guys prefer, internet friends or real friends or maybe you like a mix?
​

I've never really made a distinction between the two to be honest, because I have more or less the same number of people I'd consider friends online and in real life, about six or so. I don't really have friends, just people who talk to me; casual acquantainces. I guess my preference, thinking about it, would be internet friends, if only because it's so much easier to shut them out if they start shit-stirring. It can be quite difficult to do that with people in real life, because you've got to physically be around them. Online, you can just block them, avoid them, whatever.

Do you find you can do and say some stuff with one group and not the other?

I suppose I can say more things to my internet friends than my real friends, but I'd say that was entirely circumstantial: those annoying social restrictions don't really exist on the internet, and I get the opportunity to think about what I'm going to say before I say it (contrary to popular belief, I DO do this online) so interaction with internet friends is...easier, I guess? I can't "open up" to internet friends as a result of this, so in a personal sense, the answer is no.

Do you act differently around real friends than you do with internet ones?

Not really, I'm the same obnoxious little shit whether you know me in real life or online

Are there any benefits of having internet friends over real friends (and Vice Versa) and do you find that there any disadvantages?

As I've said, I think the main advantage to having internet friends over real friends is that you can think about what you're going to say before you say it, so it's easier to talk to them, and you can discuss more subjects. It doesn't really apply to discussing myself as a person - something I won't do regardless of who I'm talking to - but it makes conversations more interesting. There is also the fact that when things turn sour, you can just shut it all out with relative ease, something you can't do with a real life friend, as they're constantly in your face.

Disadvantages...I suppose there is a disconnection of sorts with internet friends, due to that lack of physical presence. I don't know why, but I tend to wonder a lot of the time whether or not the people I know online genuinely like me, something I don't wonder quite so much with the people I know in real life. It's also much easier to lose contact with internet friends...although whether this is a disadvantage or not depends entirely on the person. Although I've lost contact with three internet friends that I would have preferred to keep in touch with, and acquaintances come and go with alarming regularity online sometimes.

 

[Tyler Breeze]

The only place I really bother with on the internet is this madhouse of a website.

I really only have one internet friend. I'll try everything in my power to make sure we don't lose contact. I have to plan his wedding for him. Mostly the cake though. I've never had wedding cake. Anyway, I consider everybody to be my friend. Maybe just on different levels.

Everybody around my area is a drunk idiot. So no, I don't care about them at all. Everybody I have on Facebook are idiots also.

At first I was going out of my way to be nice to everybody on here. But then I had the talk with Lewis and I decided I'm going to be me. I'm evil and I love it . Everything you see now is the real me that I'm forced to tuck away in my real life.

Ehh, I'm also going through the part of life where I get mood swings. That's why I can be bubbly one second, then be on a rage rampage the next.

Anyway, I do have internet friends. They're all you guys. The benefits are that I can be who I really am.

You're welcome

 

[The Master]

Friends are friends. I feel for my internet friends just as I would my real world friends. And who's to say your internet friends aren't "real friends". Why cant it be: Your internet friends, or your friends you ACTUALLY get to see?

 

[ConZa]

SUPER SMASH BROTHERS BRAWL!!!!!!!!!!!!

That sounds like it has no context but I am in fact referring to what I can do with "real" friends (btw why are they referred to as real friends and not real life friends or at least RL friends?.. makes it sound like online friends aren't your friends). Because I live in australia...... and in the middle of nowhere on the outskirts of Brisbane...... I have a less than average Internet connection... WHICH MEANS that I cant play my favourite game (yes more so than FFX) online.. Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

So basically I lucked out in my friend selection and 3 of my mates all love this game like they love their mothers... unconditionally?.. We schedule times to meet-up and brawl pretty consistently... and im pretty glad. I feel like, if it wasn't for this game, I wouldn't have any "real" friends

I would say thank you to gaming for letting me keep my friends but I think that gaming is part of the reason that I have so few :s

Online friends, I think, are best when you kinda know them... or they're someone else's friends. Like when I'm playing dota 2 or LoL with my "online friends" and someone adds people to the skype call to play with etc.

I have to apologise.. I didn't read what everyone else said... I read some though might get around to it later.

 

[Mitsuki]

I've never actually sat and contemplated whether I prefer real-life friends over internet-friends, vice-versa. I don't have any preferences over the other. In real life, I've only got four friends. Two are sisters, and the other two are married to each other. We're all in the same circle; been that way since high school. I actually hardly ever see them... we all have our own lives to manage now, but every few months or so, we'll go out for dinner. So socializing in real life is out of the question for me right now, even if I wanted to. So we stick to text messaging, but even that's not as frequent either. (Now when I mean 'socializing' I don't mean going out to party. I've been invited to go out clubbing, but I can't see myself doing any of that.)

So then comes online friends. Well. I only have a few. But let's rewind a bit. Back in my teen days, I used to frequent chatrooms. I even met one of my online friends in real life when I moved to Ohio six years ago. Even to this day, we'll still contact each other, via text or letters. It's nice to be able to meet cool individuals out there, even if you know that you may never see that person in real life.

Do I act differently around real friends than internet ones? Realistically, it really depends on the person we're interacting with. As Argor said, we act differently around a group of people or individuals. I certainly act differently around my family (in-laws included) than my irl friends. Not because I'd want to be fake towards the other; I don't think there's anything wrong with acting differently towards others, whether it's intentional or not. Sometimes you just have to apply the appropriate face to certain individuals as well - and typically this is associated with a negative connotation, but it doesn't always have to be that way.

Benefits and disadvantages...I don't think I have anything for this. Real-life friends or online friends...it is what it is, and I prefer not to delve deeper than that. There's really no point, because how I see it is...if there's a connection and we want to keep that friend-relationship even years from now, then it'll happen - real-life friends or online friends.

Hmm, it's been eight years ago since I made that post. I think differently now as I've developed connections with a few people here. I still don't have a preference, but I realized that I can say a lot more meaningful things to friends online than offline friends. I guess what really changed for me is the benefits and disadvantages. Back then I shrugged this off, and that's how I felt at the time which is fine. But over the years I've come to long for companionship of the people I'm really close to online. How nice would it be to grab lunch with some of you on a regular basis like normal friends do.

Each time we finished a Timber Maniacs issue, for example, the emotions that run through me is so powerful that it's almost painful not to be able to treat the editorial team for dinner. Okay maybe my wallet wouldn't benefit from that, haha, but it would've been awesome to hang out after, you know what I mean? This is probably the only reason why I would even consider going to a KupoCon event even if it's not really my scene. If there's a slight chance to meet some of you guys even for a few hours, I would grab that opportunity.

So, yeah, there's definitely disadvantages with online friendships now. I tend to look for the personality traits I'm used to seeing here, in other people, which isn't very healthy. It's kind of how one of my close friends described it: if I could somehow teleport the people I'm close to so that they're in my life in a physical sense and makes it easy for us to hang out, I would do so in a heartbeat.