[Halloween '15] Haunted House - Game Thread

[Galadín]

Batman's expression turned to one of grim bemusement. He pulled out the inflatable donkey from the drawer to show Ratsie his glittering prize.

"It's what I always wanted", Batman said dryly and Ratsie couldn't help but give a small squeak of mirth. Beggars couldn't be choosers and considering his woeful lack of gadgetry, the hero had to fight with his urge to throw the dubiously useful item in the waste paper basket. Instead he folded up his new found treasure and tucked it into his Batpack.

A cotton boll and an inflatable donkey still yielded limited possibilities however, so like a man preparing for a game of Russian Roulette, Batman confronted the dresser again and opened the middle drawer on the left.

 

[greenyxi]

That's it. This is the last straw. "I've been locked away in a basement for a towsand years, where I was: heavily betrayed by my future wife, forced to sing some turdy Disney gonk by some evil puppeteer, doinked by a mystery person outside of a nightclub (admittedly his light was prettiful) and crammed in a box for turty tree minutes! Now, I'm stuck in the crapper!"

...Louis stops pretending to be angry, breathes in real deep and pops out of the bog. "I'm not sure I approve of all this water. Nor how quiet it is right now. I think I'll go out through this door". He does just this.

"WIFUUUUU!", he screams at the top of his unmentionables! He runs over to his wife-to-be, intending to hug her so tight! That is, until he realises that she's eating turkish delight a box at a time. "Where did you get those from, my delectable, chocolate-covered dreamboat?".

Brahnsuki stares into Louis' very soul as she chews turkish delight ever so visibly; the chocolate goes from the right cheek *chew*, to the left cheek *chew*. She then faces away from our Louis as if to say, "mine...my chocolate".

Well...he can't get married to someone who doesn't share her chocolate, can he? Anything but that.

Our Brahnsuki does, however, point to the wardrobe (with the powers of x-ray vision maybe). I think it's time for Louis to investigate upstairs and find himself some child-attracting choco treats.

He skips upstairs, with his nipple tassels rotating, while spitting out a little fish. Classy as ever, Mr Walsh .

 

[Shaissa]

bugs drops the mask then stabs it with his sword.
After that he pushes the cookie monster statue over.

 

[Linnaete]

"What in the name of West Ham Villa Football Club is this?!" Hameron can only howl, as the hairy face of another one of his arch-nemesis stands at the door to greet its unexpected guest. The Boris Beaver's paws look absolutely ridiculous attached to those plummy and chubby arms - not to mention that look on his face. Is that a face of gleeful opportunism? What is this Boris Beaver going to do with him? Hameron would rather not be violated in the next ten minutes, although he would at least be warm while it's going on.

There's a dilemma. Try to find warmth and be sheltered from the clutches of the bomb-wielding Sinn Fein Führer catching up to him, though at the cost of being err, inappropriately accosted by Boris Beaver here....oooooooor, be horribly murdered by a bomb, or die of painful hypothermia out here without being able to save Sexy? What a terrible situation this is. The dainty damsel is probably in grave danger now; her life is likely on the line as they speak and time is running desperately short. Yet dressed in his trunks and being pursued by a wanker dressed as a leprechaun, what hope can he have of even being able to survive long enough to rescue her? What would a hero do at this juncture?

He is going to have to take a risk of incalculable proportions. If he can find some clothes and a weapon in the little beaver lodge, he should be in a much better position to find and rescue the Princess Leia of this roleplaying game. And Boris Beaver looks like the perfect sort of door guard to keep Gerry Adams at bay. All he has to do is somehow get past this giant wretched rodent. Bloody Boris. He has no idea why the guy has gone from Mayor of London (who likes to rugby tackle little Japanese boys to the ground) to an anthropomorphic nightmare fuel of a beaver in this strange snowy realm, but Boris Beaver's intentions are crystal clear. No way is Hameron about to let Boris supplant him as one of the main protagonists of this titillating tale.

The time has come for a duel everyone has been waiting for! Hameron bravely backs up from the door. If he can build up enough speed and force, he can exert his physical prowess and charge his way past Boris the Beaver Bouncer and get into the safety of his home...by essentially breaking in. Sexy needs saving and the IRA is on his tail. He has no time to lose. But he does have a minute to make a taunt.

"You look utterly crestfallen, Boris old chum! How exactly you have converted from your eminent self to this ridiculous rodent appearance will be a tale we will all later recant with sheer gaiety! I do hope your prowess with housekeeping is conspicuously more skilled and prominent than your ability to comb your hair. Who do you think you are? Donald Trump without quite as inflated a bank account!?"

Now at a good maybe 50-feet or so away from the door of the lodge, he prepares to execute his most daring assault yet. Like the most masculine of aggressive oxen, Hameron charges directly at the Boris Beaver with intent on knocking him down and secure a passage through to his home and hearth. Oh, he shall indeed pass.

 

[Paddy McGee]

"Davey Ye Fart Barstard!! Ceme back here!! "

Gerry screamed, following Hameron as fast as his little leprechaun feet could bring him. With rainbows at his heels, Gerry was like a raging Irish Mammy, waiting to strike down his ancient enemy without fail.

Then deny striking said enemy down for decades, as was the way of the Irish Adams- not to be confused with the Addams Family.

 

[Dionysos]

Turn 12:

(As usual do click the images a few times and you'll see what is going on).

Ground Floor:


First Floor:


Narnia:


A new area has been discovered!

Beaver's Dam (discovered by Hameron):


Particulars:

Pepe enters the green bedroom and opens up the wardrobe. Inside is a collection of costumes for cosplay: Slave Leia, a mermaid, and Tifa.

(Anyone can grab one of these, so Sexy can go for one if she wants to change out of her wet clothes. Alternatively anybody else can take one, or you can even carry it to dress a monster with it if you wish).

Sexy enters Bedroom 2 and investigates the chest of drawers. In one of the drawers Sexy discovers a piece of card which has a man's beard attached to it with sticky tape. Item obtained: Beard on card. The card has writing above the beard. It reads:

Bernard Plodgrind is dead. Bernadette Daintycrush is born!
Goodbye Chewbacca. Hello Leia.

Agi inspects the window. The moon winks at Agi and laughs.

Batman opens another drawer. THWAP! A boxing glove on a spring swings a right hook at Batman's head. The face of the Joker appears in the mirror, laughing manically.

(Battle!
A roll of a die brought up the number 4, which means a hit on Batman.
A second roll of 4 deals the damage value of 4 to Batman.
Batman now has 2 HP.)

Louis Walsh heads upstairs.

Bugs drops the moose head and stabs it with his sword.

(Battle!
A roll of a die brought up the number 5, which means a hit on Moose.
A second roll of 6 deals the damage value of 6 to Moose.
Moose is dead.)

Bugs regains some of his sanity after slaying the moose head (his total sanity remains up for debate). Bugs knocks over the cookie monster statue, revealing a secret (though predictable) stash of cookies.

Hameron does a run and dive at Boris the Beaver.

(Battle!
A roll of a die brought up the number 5, which means a hit on Boris.
A second roll of 2 deals the damage value of 2 to Boris.
Boris now has 3 HP.)

The two Conservatives take a tumble into the ground floor of the Beaver's Dam.

Gerry Adams continues to stalk Hameron.

-

You may now post up your next moves! Keep it up! Quite a number of you are close to death!

 

[Soulcorruptor]

Agi decides to go up to the first floor and enter the nursery

 

[The Witch]

Pepe grabs Tifa's outfit and slips into the skimpy number. He didn't know why he bothered, none of the outfits made a difference. He could wear a potato sack and be the sexiest thing alive. "Over here, Sexy. There's shit you need." Pepe moved for the door, accepting that fate wasn't going to award him with anything of use for being sexy. "I'm heading for the nursery now, Sexy. Follow if you dare."

Pepe didn't know what to expect, he hoped his journey would bring friends to make the trek more enjoyable. Oh, look... It's Agi, Pepe thought. He still hoped his journey would bring him new friends.

 

[greenyxi]

Louis looks at a wardrobe with a sign on it: "Turkish delight within! Nutella too". Dear lord, who could resist? Louis pushes past the coats and other clothes until eventually the coats turn into branches and the wooden floor of the wardrobe turns into gritty flooring.

Louis feels cold.

It seems to be snowing, with each flake being different from the last (is that a triforce flake???). He sees a set a footprints going up to a tree and then to a dam. Our Louis decides to sit next to the tree and tell it of all the wonderful deeds the game master has done to him, via song. To the tune of Under Da Sea from the Little Mermaid.

 

[Shaissa]

Bugs as sane as ever (up for debate ) Decides to eat his way all the way through the cookies

 

[Paddy McGee]

Gerry decided to go right, towards those statues.

He did not comment wittily on his situation in his Irish brogue because his narrator cannot be arsed to try WHAY AYE BOMBS IN ME DINNAR in a new way.

 

[Linnaete]

"Prodigious!" yells Hameron triumphantly, seeing the beast slain before him. Well, it's not quite slain. There's still life in the old bugger and Boris is there writhing on the floor. He has been wounded by his bullish Bullingdon tactics, but the beaver will recover soon enough and will perhaps have enough strength to muster some painful retribution. Hameron is not about to let that occur, and he knows he has a limited window opportunity to find something useful in this modest little wooden lodge.

Ah, that fire! So tantalising! So tempting! So...tormenting! There are two villains in the close vicinity and he cannot hope to drown away some crucial time dozing in front of a fire, especially when there is also a maiden to rescue. He glances at what looks like a dressing table and notices Boris's biggest bane: a comb. Such a weapon can indeed come in handy, but time is of the essence and there are stairs leading up. Perhaps it is prudent instead to make a break up the stairs and see what greater prizes lurk on the upper floor. If worse comes to worst, he can probably make a dive for it out a window.

Satisfied that his current plan seems rational enough, our hammy hero quickly sprints up the stairs. Perhaps he could have also grabbed that bike, though after years of limos and chauffeurs, he cannot remember what it is like to ride an ordinary bicycle like a pleb. Boris is certainly still used to the manual exercise, because he is a pleb. Besides, what use is a bicycle out here in several inches of snow with no pre-cleared tracks to utilise?

The heavy sound of his weight pressed against the hollow wood of each step going up ominously ring like a drumbeat signalling imminent apocalypse...

 

[Galadín]

Batman never saw it coming. Whack! The unexpected hard knock sent his head spinning; literally. Whether it was the confusion of the moment or a true manifestation, he was sure he heard the unmistakable, diabolical giggle of The Joker!

Holding his head and squeezing his eyes shut to stop the lurching dizziness that threatened to have him fall unceremoniously on his bottom, Batman's world slowly but surely began to still with a pounding headache echoing, like an ominous ring of a wrestling bell for Round 2.

It was only then he could hear the distressed squeaks from his rat companion, who had jumped off the vanity table and onto his shoulder. With all the racket Ratsie was making, Batman couldn't for the life of him tell if what he had heard was indeed The Joker's mocking giggle, or the clamouring of an over protective rodent.

He opened his eyes and the world was a blurry haze of pounding pain and distorted double vision. This was not cool. Groping around a bit the hero at last found the double bed and lay down. It was no good trying to do anything after taking a direct bash to the head. With Ratsie's valiant attempts to massage the fallen hero's temples whilst thinking "Come to think of it, this guy looks a bit like Bruce Wayne", The Caped Crusader closed his eyes and meditated to shield against the pain. Very soon he was asleep with Ratsie standing vigil, glaring meanly at the mirror.

 

[Harlequin]

Sexy changes into the Slave Leia outfit and follows her amphibious acquaintance over to the nursery.

 

[Dionysos]

The next round should be quite a crucial one, methinks.

It doesn't seem like much has happened in this one but that's because people have mainly been moving around / changing rooms, etc, rather than interacting with objects this time. It sets it up for more action next round, depending on what people do.



Turn 13.

(As usual do click the images a few times and you'll see what is going on).

Ground Floor:


First Floor:


Narnia:



A new area has been discovered!

Beaver's Dam First Floor (discovered by Hameron):




Particulars:

Agi enters the nursery room.

Pepe and Sexy dress up in their costumes of choice.

Pepe then leaves for the nursery room, followed by Sexy. Oh no! The door to the nursery has locked behind them! If they wish to get out then someone needs to request a roll to determine if it can be unlocked. Or perhaps they'd prefer to explore the room...

Louis Walsh enters Narnia and sits by Toby the Tree. Louis sings of his glory days in the basement to the tune of Under The Sea, with fondness and tears in his eyes.

Toby the Tree doesn't like the song...

Bugs decides to eat his way through all of the cookies. As a result, Bugs becomes quite fat. Bugs has swollen in size and is stuck in the gap! Oh no! The two remaining cookies have become sentient and are unleashing a furious attack on Bugs!

(Battle!
A roll of a die brought up the number 4, which means a hit on Bugs.
A second roll of 2 deals the damage value of 2 to Bugs.
Bugs now has 4 HP.)

Bugs is bitten, slapped, pinched, and punched by the cookie duo. Can he wriggle free? Can he defeat these beasts of the bakery?

Gerry Adams walks towards the statues.

Hameron enters the first floor of the Beaver's Dam.

Ratsie keeps guard over Batman as he goes to sleep.


-

You may now post up your next moves!

 

[Linnaete]

Tears roll down Hameron's face as he is unexpectedly greeted with something so punishingly patriotic. It's punishing, because even he lacks a room in his house that is so dedicated a shrine to all the values of Britain. Even the Margaret Thatcher portrait in No. 10 Downing Street is dwarved by this colossal version. How can such a sight not bring a tear of patriotism to one's eye? How can one not salute to that and think only of the glory of the Falklands War and NOT being horribly murdered in a Brighton hotel by the IRA? He can virtually hear God Save The Queen blare out with all the triumphant trumpets. He should go and hug that enormous Maggie portrait immediately, but the behemoth beaver beast downstairs will catch up, provided that he's not wrestling with Gerry Adams at the front door as of now.

Hameron surveys this room, mentally taking down notes for some imminent redecorating should he be fortunate enough to be afforded a safe passage home. He loves all the blue, though it's probably Boris being too try-hard a Conservative. Everyone knows only Hameron is the genuine face of the Conservative Party, not that unkempt giant rat. There's a wardrobe next to Mrs Thatcher - and well, the last time he opened a wardrobe, it led him to this current snowy domain, so for all his luck, this one may suck him into the inside of a lava cave. There's a bed with the pillow wonderfully adorned with the Union Flag, but since Boris would have slept on it, he does not wish to contract any kind of fatal disease or lice by coming into contact with it. He espies what looks like an intricate zipwire escape system...it's ALMOST like there is a game master overseeing this whole exercise and he's humouring everyone...

Not wishing to be hurtled into a lava cave...even if it means Boris and Gerry Adams would be deterred from following him - and because he does not wish to abandon Sexy - Hameron considers inspecting this large, conspicuous chest right there in front of him. What treasures must be inside this thing? For Hameron's sake, it had better not be locked, because otherwise he will just urinate onto it. In case it is locked, he can see what looks like a model of the Elizabeth Tower (aka Big Ben) at the foot of the bed, so the pointy part can always be used as a crude bludgeon...possibly. Hameron goes for the chest and slams his foot against it, seeking to open it up that way. It's a good thing his foot is still somewhat numb, otherwise he'd be writhing in pain right now.

What can possibly be inside?

 

[Soulcorruptor]

Agi begins to go into a nervous breakdown, not only did she hear the sound of a door somehow locking behind her, but not a walking frog and the cheerleader from before are in the room with her. Making things worse is that these two have decided to do a form of dress up and act out some weird twisted fantasy. So taking what little action she could she decided she could do only one thing, she frantically went for the door trying to unlock it. Not wishing to break it down in case some horrible fate would await them in this room, she would leave them to their fate if need be, in fact she somewhat recalls a pig sounding voice calling out for the cheerleader. If she were to be trapped in here he could tell the pig wearing mask person where she was and possibly make him happy.

 

[Harlequin]

Despite having been at Death's door for a while now Sexy seemed completely unperturbed by her poor health and was more concerned with having to wear the Slave Leia outfit instead of her preferred choice, the Tifa costume. "Look at what you did to that outfit, it's all stretched now!" Sexy told the perpetually awed Pepe, who didn't seem to have a care in the world as to how he was dressed or indeed how many outfits he went through in one night!

Sexy then turned her attention to the doll house and decided to inspect it, wondering what the source of the light coming from within was...

 

[Paddy McGee]

"Whay AYE! I LARNED FRO' MI DADDEH TAE AVAOID SLEEPING LASSIES"

Declared Gerry, to no one in particular- on spotting the woman sleeping? just a few paces away. Instead, he opted to go towards the treasure chest and open it.

 

[Shaissa]

Bugs unzips the dog costume to try and get through the hole and away from the evil cookies