[Halloween '15] Haunted House - Game Thread

"AYE YEY BLEEDEN PORKSHAGGER!"

Gerry Adams was as loud as his... bright get up might suggest! With a bang, Gerry entered the house without fear nor timidity, his eyes sit on exploring his newly found residence.

"FECKIN PIG ON DER STARS, AYE"

As Gerry strolled across the centre of the lobby, streams of rainbows seemed to shoot from his hindquarters. Gerry the Leprechaun genuinely had a rainbow shining out his arse. His attention would be swiftly caught by the dinning area, wherein he spotted the sexy cheerleader and the... Frog in a Tutu. While the sight of the head shook Gerry slightly, he just imagined Jeremy Clarkson as a bomb and all was well. Either way, the lady in the room was simply sexy!

"DAT DER LASS BLOWS ME TINWHISTLE,AYE."

Gerry unnecessarily proclaimed, as he entered into the dinning room.
 
As Louis enters the basement, the door slams shut behind him and the lights flicker a million times a second! Via his high pitched scream, you just know he has seen something truly awful through the flickering. You know it's horrifying. You know it's huge and bloody terrifying! You know...that Brahnsuki has arrived! Chained up on the opposing side of the room, with so much raw strength and brutal anger at her disposal! Can she break out of those chains?

There's a click.

It seems that there's no way out. Our Louis COULD use the hammer and try to break the wall, I guess, but his arms are so very puny. He COULD check out the casket, but maybe the heavy-looking lid would wake the monstrosity up. Hell, he COULD try to unlock the door, but he sees something else in the room.

Are those three treasure chests over there? I think they could well be! Louis creeps, ever so quietly, over to the bottom left chest by the bucket. From somewhere comes a very Zelda-like *dun dun dun duuuuuuun* as he starts to open the chest...

In the back of his mind, Mr Walsh wishes he never came down here. Hopefully this will result in some sort of reward for being brave/foolish.
 
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK


Pepe was quite pissed that he made such an error as going anywhere near the bad luck-charm, "AKA the fucking cheerleader!" He shouted at the rooftops, spit flying from his pink, crusty lips. He was so angry that he could feel himself turning into the beast that he spent years on a remote island taming. "No, Pepe..." Pepe often enjoyed speaking in third person, "Pepe can't unleash the beast. Not even to save Pepe from being trapped in a room with some dumb cheerleader."

Just then he heard the Dining room door open behind him and saw a leprechaun enter the room. As the leprechaun cat-called the cheerleader, all Pepe could do was stare at the bomb in his hand, then back at his face, then back at the bomb, then back at his face, then back at the bomb, then back at his face, then back at the bomb, then back at his face, then back at the bomb, until finally, he looked back at his face.

"You wouldn't have any Lucky Charm cereal, would you?"

As Pepe waited for his answer he noticed the head on the table. "Now that's what I call 'Brits-only'!" He wanted to laugh but he had not a clue of what the inside joke was for this one.

It reminded Pepe of how utterly alone he was. You see, Pepe belonged to the greatest nation in the galaxy... but he couldn't say its name because he didn't want people to think he was some crazy, patriotic, human-sized frog. He was just a crazy human-sized frog.

Pepe peered at the basement door and had a strange feeling. He stared for what felt like forever, but not in a good 'forever' kind of way. More like that feeling you get while watching Red Tails. Yeah, that kind of 'forever'. Anyway, he looked at it some more as if he were looking at the mysterious monolith from 2001: A space Odyssey, a film with amazing special effects but nonetheless shitty film with an eerie plot device that Stanley Kubrick ~definitely~ did not forget about for two-god-damn-hours. Instead of going anywhere near the monolithic-vibey-door--because honestly, who sees a giant black space brick and their first instinct is to fucking touch it?--he decided to speak to... 'it'.

"I'm going to the kitchen, barbie." Pepe declared to the silent cheerleader. Her silence was almost as eerie as watching an eerie T.V. show at an eerie time at night, when you're all alone in an eerie location, surrounded by eerie things, making eerie noises and casting eerie shadows all around your eerie room.

She just stared at her plate. "That look..." It was as if she were brain-dead...

"God damn Simpsons fans." Pepe scoffed.

"Riiiight, well, I think there's some louis vuitton bags down in the basement. Do me a favor, if there's a monster waiting, scream as if Grown Ups 2 is playing on repeat insida your head." Pepe chuckled at his own amazingly witty and ~totally~ never told before Adam Sandler joke. "Oh, yeah. I heard that you can't die if you're in fetal position. That's what I'd, like, totally do if I were being chased by a hungry monster-ghost-demon-Scientologist-thing."


With that, Pepe waltzed into the kitchen. He wanted to do some ballet moves but he couldn't think of any more terms that wouldn't include his mun taking 15 minutes to properly write a detailed description, only for it to still read like an excerpt from Twilight.

Once there he ran to the trash and shifted through it... just as he expected, he found exactly what he was looking for. ( @Dionysos:watching: )



I promise, Pepe doesn't really hate the cheerleader. :ari: this was only long cuz i couldn't sleep
 
After leaving the bathroom Agi noticed a new guest in the main hallway and it was a midget, or as she guessed that liked to be called a leprechaun. She was quite bewildered that this thing seemed to have rainbows coming out from it's arse, even more surprising was how it seemed to phase through a door that appeared to be locked now. Trying to get over the fact that even more strange things seemed to be happening in this house she heard the echoing scream of something unnatural. Totally deciding to ignore the scream Agi noticed a weird picture of some octopus creature and decided to inspect it by removing it from the wall to see if anything might be off or anything behind it.
 
Bugs, looks around the second floor and walks into the master bedroom. There he finds a chest. Bugs Bunny opens the chest to see what kind of things are inside it.
 
Switching on his Detective Scanner, Batman vaults through the revealed hole in the wall - so the manic moose was hiding something! Although it seems less than smart to be leaping into dark, dingy, bloody place, the Dark Knight cannot ignore the plea for help! The hole may be small, but being made of Lego has it advantages, Batman was through with one jump landing with a sharp click.

There seems to be a pink thing to his left that is too obscured to make out properly even with this assistance of the scanner. Keeping an eye on the general vicinity of the mysterious Thing, the hero makes his way to the fallen victim...
 
Having must have dosed off in the storage closet for a turn, Iron Man wakes with a sudden urge to cook up a storm in the kitchen. Noticing that the adjacent door is locked and blocking the kitchen off however, he becomes increasingly frustrated at life and grudgingly leaves the closet via the door that he entered from. Upon entering the main hall armed with his old dirty mop, he notices the water trail left by Bugs' and heads upstairs to investigate...
 
"Oh my God!" Sexy cried as Pepe made his way over to the kitchen. Weighing up the prospect of following a Frogman into the Kitchen or staying in the Dining Room with a decapitated head Ms. Cheerleader decided to take her chances with the Frog. "You can't just leave me in here with this old man's head" she cried expectantly, following Pepe to the Kitchen.
 
I haven't had time to do too many crazy drawings this time, so hopefully next round will be more eventful in that regard. I just felt we should hurry this along as much as we can in order to get the most out of it!

Turn 3

(Remember to click the images a few times to get a zoomed in view for details).

Ground Floor:

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First Floor:

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Basement:
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A new area has been discovered!

Wall space (discovered by Lego Batman):
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Particulars:
Gerry Adams' leprechaunal magic which helped him enter the haunted house took a few minutes to fade. As a result he was able to phase through the locked dining room door, finding himself also trapped in a room with quite a serious ghost problem.

Louis Walsh opens the bottom left chest and discovers an orb of holy light! Item obtained: Orb of Holy Light.

Pepe the Frog sifts through the emptied trashcan and discovers a very useful plastic spoon! Item obtained: Plastic spoon.

Agi removes the painting of Ultros from the hallway wall and peeks behind it. In a crack in the wall is a sinister, hidden book called the Necronomicon. Its cover is tanned human flesh, rumoured by some to be Kevin Bacon. Item obtained: Necronomicon.

AE8vbRa.png


Bugs opens the chest in the master bedroom only to find that there is a chest within the chest!

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Batman enters the space behind the walls... As he does so the moose head jumps back into place and seals the gap in the wall! In the confusion of the moment Batman's scanners and his physical eyes struggle to decipher the appearance of a rat, and he cautiously walks towards the victim.



-

You may now post your next moves!

Bear in mind the items you have picked up in this round and in others too. Some of them *could* be used for either practical uses with the map, or as items against monsters. But if you use them for something in particular then you may lose the item. See them as one-use items.

I think it likely that a ghost or two might be encountered in the next round, depending on what you do... Some of you are getting close.
 
"Why is the tin man from The Wizard of Oz on mop duty?" Hameron can only inquire, when after a minute of brief confusion compounded by his poor peripheral vision, he is now in the company of a peculiar red-gold tinned man looking as if he is about to mop the floor.

Coming to the decision that it is best to let the metallic maid work in peace, Hammy prepares to sidle off in the opposite direction, only to be instantly entranced by something. The vivid night's full moon stares intently, as its luminous aether penetrates through the glass of the an adjacent window, bathing the first floor landing with a somewhat eerie, uninterrupted and otherworldly glow. The shimmering beauty is bizarrely captivating and Hameron finds himself drawn to a window on the landing.

He stares out, initially seeing naught but a desolate wasteland bereft of life (sort of like Sunderland then) being illuminated by the moon's golden(?) embrace (seriously, the stars are yellowy tonight too). Who would have thought that the outskirts of Sunderland would look this dismal yet alluring at the same time? He must take his wife here one day. Maybe they can picnic on a hill with only each other and the moonlight for company. Then do it again on a separate occasion with Sexy and without his wife. Ahhh...

...the heck? Perhaps his swine mask is the reason, as the damn thing has been a painful obstruction to him the whole time, but...it's almost as if there's something conspicuous outside the window. It may well be the branch of a tree...if there is an actual tree just outside and propped against the wall of the manor, but with the number of blind spots under that mask, it's unlikely that he can properly see. Ah, well. It's not like there's a sentient tree watching him. Maybe paranoia is beginning to claim him. He hopes not.

Curiosity killed Tabby the Cat (it really did. RIP Tabby.) and to in order to sate his morbid curiosity, despite not knowing what to expect, Hammy's porky fingers undo the latch and the window swings open...
 
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Not gonna lie, most of the responses here are so much more involved than I was expecting! I'm horrible at that role play kind of stuff so I'mma just keep it simple. Otherwise it'll take me days to think of moves xD

Upon entering the first floor, Iron Man scans the main hall and notices something awfully peculiar - A dog's room. "Why on Earth would there be a dedicated room for a dog in the house?" he mumbles to himself as he imagines all of the somewhat twisted reasons for such a thing existing. Still armed with his dirty old mop, he approaches the door and enters, curious about what lays inside. With no dog in sight, Iron Man sighs and decides to examine what he believes to be a red dog house that sits in the middle of the room...
 
Agi was in shock at finding this Necronomicon, it was an unholy book and against her better judgement she picked it up. After all it was better then some other person picking it up and reading it or even something unnatural finding it and reading it. A thought occurred to her maybe she could find a way to get rid of this book by burning it or something to get rid of this unnatural thing, she also decided to take the picture she removed from the wall with her. Now with a unholy book like any other common sense thinking person she decided to go into the library and see if she could find anything else about this book. Upon entering the library she noticed a completely empty book shelf which was odd as it was the only one and the others selves had books on them. So off course this self was clearly not yelling at someone to inspect it and see if it would reveal some cliche hidden passageway or something of the sort. So deciding to abandon all common sense Agi decided to do what she should not have done and inspects the empty bookshelf to see if anything odd is about it or if it could move and reveal something more.
 
As Sexy watched Pepe sieve through the messy trash she felt a strong sense of revulsion not unlike the time she was paired in Science class with that dork she had to pretend to get on with so he would do the work for her.

"Ok first of all... gross!" Sexy said grimacing, "and I just found a head in there aren't you gonna call the police?! I can't do it myself my cell doesn't work here and I don't have the number saved in my contacts!" she continued, standing hands on hips before submitting to exasperation and slumping onto the chair placed conveniently behind her.
 
Trapped! Batman is far from troubled however, being used to strange "Fun Houses", these things are to be expected. The Maniacal Moose head is a new one though, points for originality there.

He tests out his scanner again but alas there seems to be some major interference distorting its signal. "Damn", he grunts to himself, switching off the gadget. It's gloomy within the wall space and a little cramped but luckily his compact plastic body makes it easy enough for him to maneuver.

Batman is well aware of the ferocity of rats, but what he sees before him looks utterly beyond the ability of the furry creature scurrying before him. Picking his way through the bits and pieces on the floor, he bends down to see what he can do to assist the miraculously breathing specimen that's mewling for help. Supporting its head and neck with his C shaped hands he gently tries to ease them from the hole they're trapped in...
 
Bugs Bunny quickly starts hoping up and down as another chest comes out of the chest, he quickly pulls the chest out and drops it on the ground making a loud bang sound on the ground that the ground floor could hear it. He then opens this new chest.
 
Sod the ground floor! Anything in the BASEMENT could hear that chest drop! And so it did. The great Brahnsuki mumbled a little in her sleep; her head bopped forward a little; her foot scratched at an itch on her stomach a few times. I'm not sure, but I think she may be ready to awaken any time soon and even our Louis can see that now! He runs for the hammer and adrenaline makes his arms bulge like sweet peas!

"I need to get out of this basement, no matter what!". He has finally come to his senses and while that's something that troubled his parents (they never liked his bright ideas), this time it could be for the best! He swings the hammer at the lock on the basement door, via a very round-about way of swinging it around himself and making wind noises as he acts like a hurricane. "Brrrrrrr! Wooooooosh!", he goes. Hell, he doesn't have his toy cars and city on him, so he'll have to improvise.

Somehow, the hammer hits the lock...

To Dan: Does the hammer pick up count as a whole turn, or can I go for the door with it at the same time?
 
"OH DAR DE LAR SWAET JAYSUS CRIST! WERES ME BOMBS,AYE? "

Announced Gerry, as he decided to swiftly follow the cheerleader and... frog(?) thing out of the dining room, into the kitchen.

"AYE, YE WEE TWO CUNTS, WHY AYE AYE AM I HER?!"

Asked Gerry, as he entered the dining room. Gerry honestly meant "cunt" as a term of endearment. You only call your friends cunts in the IR-Sinn Fein. Only Sinn Fein. NEVER anything with acronyms. Never. He swears. Interested in what the group was looking at, Gerry took a peek into the container- then proceeded to vomit slightly. This time, his excretion was gold. Solid GOLD!
 
Sorry! @Costello
Right... A relatively eventful round!


Turn 4

Ground Floor:
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First Floor:
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Basement:
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Wall space:
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A new area has been discovered!

Dog's House (discovered by Iron Man):
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Particulars:

Hameron opens a window to investigate the tree. The instant he does so the sentient tree loses her balance and falls through the window. She has an axe lodged in her bark.

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Iron Man investigates the dog house, stepping inside to discover what 'Dog' is all about.

Agi investigates the empty book case. It grabs her and spins around and places her into the dining room!

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Sexy slumps onto the stalking chair.

Batman attempts to help the screaming victim... As he does so, the remains of the victim are slurped into the mouth of a giant alligator. Pulling Batman through the crack in the wall into its lair, it sings a song to him. Yes, this is the big lipped alligator moment of the story.

fud4iNl.png


(Battle!
A roll of a die brought up the number 6, which means a hit on Batman.
A second roll of 4 deals the damage value of 4 to Batman.
Batman now has 6 HP.)

Bugs opens the smaller chest and discovers a small sword! Item obtained: Sword.

Louis Walsh grows Herculean arms and swings the hammer in an attempt to smash through the door into the dining room. An action die was rolled, resulting in a low roll of 3. The hammer fails to smash the door. It bounces back and lodges itself in the wall of the basement.

jnUsEDJ.png


Gerry Adams pukes gold onto the floor of the kitchen, somewhat improving the quality of the room.

Pepe the Frog was distracted by the spoon and forgot to act. Mortimer the Malboro had been hiding in the freezer (turned off) and took the chance to sneak a tentacle slap on Pepe's bum.

2ZKgPYp.png

(Battle!
A roll of a die brought up the number 6, which means a hit on Pepe.
A second roll of 5 deals the damage value of 5 to Pepe.
Pepe now has 5 HP.)

-

Ouch... Two fairly big hits that round.

Remember @Costello that you have that burger if you want to restore 1 HP, but it'll have a side-effect (cosmetic).

Now that a monster-ghost has been revealed (Mortimer) and there is a bonus monster (big lipped alligator) you may attempt an attack on them yourselves (if you have an item you wish to use as a weapon) or you can try to get away. You can move off and evade, etc.
 
Agi inspects the bookcase again since it only spun around once to see if she could get back to the library.
 
Ok, our Louis may be an excellent judge of talent, but did you know that he dislikes enclosed spaces? With a failed attempt at getting the door open with the hammer, it's time for plan B.

Louis moves back a few steps, bends over (don't worry...no one can see his lack of underwear down here, unless they're looking in the reflection of the puddle) and charges at the door! It's a shame he forgot about the stairs, because he trips and soars like an eagle! He loves the sense of freedom this airtime gives him and sings some song from Pocahontas:

------------------------------------------------------

"You think I'm just an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places; I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see, if the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know...

You think you own whatever land you land on
The earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name.

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain
Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sun-sweet berries of the earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle in a loop that never ends

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or let the eagle tell you were hes been
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain
Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?

How high does a sycamore grow?
If you cut it down then you'll never know
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
For whether we are white or copper skinned

We need to sing with all the voices of the mountain
We need to paint with all the colours of the wind
You can own the earth and still
All you'll own is earth until
You can paint with all the colours of the wind"

------------------------------------------------------

After his overly long song, he finishes his flight around the room (he never knows how to do things the easy way, huh?) and goes headfirst into the door...
 
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