Serious Friend Zone

seddy-0 said:
its always the ones you don't expect to fall for that this stuff happens with.

she has a dominant personality and i find that well attractive. see, i have the attitude that i wanna take over the world. she has a dominant and take charge personality.. she stays on me about things like doing my cartoon regularly and helps me find new music for my radio show at times.i see how she is around her people. she is a very friendly person, easy to get along with. her type of guy is kinda nerdy. is what she once described. and that was before she knew of my side things i do. my D20, magic the gathering.. love of gundam and final fantasy. when she first met me, she only met the bmx side of me. but as we talked more. she learned a lot more about me. and as she was open more and straight forward with me, i was more open with her.
when i hang out with her. i do joke here and there saying "you need to stop playing with kids and get with a man" or you keep playing with the rest, you gotta get with the best" i don't wanna give out some details as to her life because i dunno if she is gonna join this site as i asked her a few times since i came back here.
my track family loves her. me and her mess around a lot. poke and tickle each other wrestle around.. one time she accidentally punched me in the face as were messing around. she was punching at my arm and i went to do a wrestling take down and well perfect timing as i lunged at her, she was still swinging at my arm and instead connected with my jaw..lol now everyone at the track for fun asks me what the safety word is.. and when i am riding my local track, every one yells "umbrella" when i am flying through the track.
so she has really made a huge impression on my peers as well as impacted my life. and i just met her in january.. a week after my ex broke up with me on new years eve.
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well i'll say that your emotionally attached to her, see seems like a nice person tbh a bit like my girlfriend, and from all that i'm reading she seems to like you back. I was talking about girls and feelings with my girlfriend tonight, the best thing to do in your case is sit down and chat, it seems like you have a strong connection as friends already, sating your feelings shouldn't affect your friendship in anyway, if anything it best to get this kind of thing out in the open, and you never know what might happen, she might open up to you back, girls tend to do that when the boy opens up to them

another question????? do you know if she had a bad relationship before, say a boy cheated on her, when I met my girlfriend she came out of a bad relationship, it was her first one as well (she got attacked by him) she might find it hard to open up or trust a boy, I had to overcome this problem with me and sarah when we got together.... it not that she don't trust you... she might just not trust boys, and that something that you can show her that boys can be trusted, I did that with my girlfriend :)
 
seddy-0 said:
its always the ones you don't expect to fall for that this stuff happens with.

she has a dominant personality and i find that well attractive. see, i have the attitude that i wanna take over the world. she has a dominant and take charge personality.. she stays on me about things like doing my cartoon regularly and helps me find new music for my radio show at times.i see how she is around her people. she is a very friendly person, easy to get along with. her type of guy is kinda nerdy. is what she once described. and that was before she knew of my side things i do. my D20, magic the gathering.. love of gundam and final fantasy. when she first met me, she only met the bmx side of me. but as we talked more. she learned a lot more about me. and as she was open more and straight forward with me, i was more open with her.
when i hang out with her. i do joke here and there saying "you need to stop playing with kids and get with a man" or you keep playing with the rest, you gotta get with the best" i don't wanna give out some details as to her life because i dunno if she is gonna join this site as i asked her a few times since i came back here.
my track family loves her. me and her mess around a lot. poke and tickle each other wrestle around.. one time she accidentally punched me in the face as were messing around. she was punching at my arm and i went to do a wrestling take down and well perfect timing as i lunged at her, she was still swinging at my arm and instead connected with my jaw..lol now everyone at the track for fun asks me what the safety word is.. and when i am riding my local track, every one yells "umbrella" when i am flying through the track.
so she has really made a huge impression on my peers as well as impacted my life. and i just met her in january.. a week after my ex broke up with me on new years eve.
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I wasn't going to reply to this, I'm still not sure if I should... :ohshit:

She might seem dominant and assertive, but that's not necessarily the case. There have been a few times when women who I know are normally loud who seem to have dominant personalities are quiet and act shy around me. Later I find out that it was because they really liked me even if I didn't realize it then. Its possible even women who seem dominant have a soft and submissive side to them, sometimes?

In a sense, sometimes women won't respect you if they think they can walk all over you or tell you what to do. If she can tell you to do things, I'm not sure whether or not that would be a turn off for her. In most cases, I think it is a turn off for women. But, TBH, I really couldn't give anyone advice on how to handle that.

I would guess based on what you've said that she's submissive moreso than dominant. It may show in that she can empathize with others and consider what other people think or feel. Dominant and controlling people tend to only be able to focus on their own feelings and tend to be indifferent and apathetic to the feelings of others.

Its also possible, that she's attracted to guys who can be the boss and tell her what to do. And that being somewhat of an empath that she's attracted to guys who are dominant and controlling. That may well be the social norm. But, of course there are always exceptions...
 
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:wacky: I already made a post pages ago.

Though one thing I will agree on with regards to what riddick has said is I have found women do not like a push over, someone who does exactly what they say etc like a little puppy. Well I don't anyway.

The rest of what he has said is garbage though.

Just ask the girl out already or make a move and whatever happens happens. I think she'll admire you for making the first move :griin:
 
The friend zone doesn't so much control you as it is your perception of the friend zone. You can say you're in the friend zone till you're blue in the face, but if you place yourself in that role without even seeing what the other party thinks, you'll never know.

One of the most attractive traits a man can have is assertion. The same applies to women, of course, but men are expected to be assertive in a relationship traditionally, and though too much assertion is a bad thing, the ability to actually think and act for yourself can be very attractive in a guy.

So what if she says no? So what if it's awkward for a while? If you don't actively try to find out you're going to be stuck in this stagnant what if scenario for God knows how long. Swallow your fear, pull your stomach in, and ask her. That's all there is to it.
 
well i went for it.. she was talking about how she is always last in guys lives, and i told her and i quote "you know me now, so now you have someone who puts you first" and well she then replied with. "thank you so much that means a lot to me, but i am not attracted to you in that way" i responded with "but still, you have some one in your life that thinks of you first. and no matter what, i got your back" her response to that was " aww thank you hunnie"
fast forward today. i was supposed to get my 360 back from my ex finally, and my ex changed plans on me and told me last minute. well she was to go with me to my ex's house..cause my ex sent me some cryptic texts with the last one saying "u r mine" so i didn't want to go by myself. well i flipped about and she called me just now to check on me and see how i was doing.
funny thing she said. she knows my ex, has one of my team jersey's. she was gonna ask if she could have it since she wont be going to anymore races..lol and in other small talk we had.. one was about gay and straight and i replied with "well i am 100% staright" with her reply of "you better be!"

so yeah.. i got rejected... but i tried
 
seddy-0 said:
well i went for it.. she was talking about how she is always last in guys lives, and i told her and i quote "you know me now, so now you have someone who puts you first" and well she then replied with. "thank you so much that means a lot to me, but i am not attracted to you in that way" i responded with "but still, you have some one in your life that thinks of you first. and no matter what, i got your back" her response to that was " aww thank you hunnie"
fast forward today. i was supposed to get my 360 back from my ex finally, and my ex changed plans on me and told me last minute. well she was to go with me to my ex's house..cause my ex sent me some cryptic texts with the last one saying "u r mine" so i didn't want to go by myself. well i flipped about and she called me just now to check on me and see how i was doing.
funny thing she said. she knows my ex, has one of my team jersey's. she was gonna ask if she could have it since she wont be going to anymore races..lol and in other small talk we had.. one was about gay and straight and i replied with "well i am 100% staright" with her reply of "you better be!"

so yeah.. i got rejected... but i tried
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Aww seddy, well at least you took the initiative and asked her. It does take quite a bit to get over that fear of possibly being rejected. One must simply ask and it seems like an elementary task but it's harder when you have your feelings on the line. Indeed at least now you know, you know where you stand with her and you know the extent of your relationship with her. From now you can only look forward and appreciate her friendship and grace.
 
and i think she is one this site.... she just called me seddy on aim......

but i dig her. and who knows what the future holds. i just love spending time with her and having her in my life.. she is just flat out fun to be around.
 
she then replied with. "thank you so much that means a lot to me, but i am not attracted to you in that way"
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then why is she sleeping in your bed with you <_<

sir, are you a booty call? :trollface:
 
I told you it's because she is using you hahaha.

She uses you to keep her self esteem up, she knows you pretty much cannot live without her, so she gives you enough to keep you sticking around like a lost dog, boosting her ego until she finds someone she actually likes :hmmm:

Sorry mate, that's the way things are. She may be super fun, but she's just leading you on for her own gain :hmmm: /end riddick.
 
we have not had sex.. its literally just sleeping. or "cuddling" .. i am a guy. i am ot supposed to use that word..lol
 
seddy-0 said:
well i went for it.. she was talking about how she is always last in guys lives
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That's typical of most women.

They're attracted to guys who treat them that way.

Bowie said:
I told you it's because she is using you hahaha.
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Don't think like that ^. No need to be cynical and negative about it.

She probably never met a nice guy who was cool before.

She tried being with you and it didn't feel right to her.

All it means is you might want to think about being more narcissitic and egotistical and having the mind of a 12 year old, as that may well be the type of guy most women are attracted to.

There are some who are very smart. But, for the most part, I don't think that's the case.

/lame post.
 
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seddy-0 said:
we have not had sex.. its literally just sleeping. or "cuddling" .. i am a guy. i am ot supposed to use that word..lol
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laaaaaaaaaaaammmmee

well

I'm sure that you will know how long you should stay on this train and when to get off. But don't place all your eggs in one basket, more than one fish in the sea etc...

Be true to yourself and do what feels right. Maybe someday she will change her mind, maybe she won't. It might be difficult to swallow your pride, but try not to be hung up on it.
 
seddy-0 said:
we have not had sex.. its literally just sleeping. or "cuddling" .. i am a guy. i am ot supposed to use that word..lol
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Have you ever thought that when women think about bmx racing, they think about wild people doing crazy stunts.

When women think about that, they might think about a guy who is wild & into rough sex.

And, they might approach someone because they want those things? They want wild and crazy sex and they think yeah bmx dude, here we go!

I don't want to post in this thread anymore... far be it from me to give people relationship advice considering some of the train wrecks that have been my own relationships..

But, you might want to think about it. :elmo:
 
Well fair play for asking her out, most people wouldn't do that

As for being friend zoned and all of that, well is it all that terrible? Just because you are nice to a girl doesn't mean she owes you anything other than respect and maybe friendship. If you are being nice to a girl only to get in her pants, you weren't really being nice at all. If you are being nice because you are a nice person and develop feelings for them and get friend zoned, that can be tough. If you are really care about them though, that shouldn't be such a terrible thing
 
frank it was your second thought. i had no intentions to just "get in her pants" i wanted her heart. i fell for her and went for it but was put back in the friend zone, but today we talked like last night's thing never happened. we still joked with each other like we always did.. like i said, who knows what the future holds. she said to me that she never had some one like me in her life..
 
Well that is good to hear! It can be difficult to get over being put in the friend zone when you really fall for a girl. I will say don't get your hopes up over the future though, that could be disappointing in the long run. Don't misconstrue her trying to be a good pal even after your admissions as mutual affection! I guess you are right though, who knows what the future holds
 
Well good for you, Seddy, for asking her. That sucks that she rejected you. I'm sort of in a similar situation and wasn't sure what to do, but I eventually had a revelation and everything is clear now.
 
yeah, it was a tad weird for a few minutes after she said that she wasn't attracted to me that way, but my heart came through and we got a long like it was never said a few minutes later and i told her before going to bed, that no matter what, i have her back. and even today, we talked like nothing happened. so as a few people stated above, nothing has changed.. she just now knows how i feel.. and that may be a good thing, i hope.. she always hugs me and calls me a sweet heart and what not.

and everyone missed what i said earlier.. she called me seddy today.. i am known as seddy-0 only on here.. i think she is on here or viewed here as a guest..lol
 
Perhaps you should show her how her life would be without you.. I dont mean yoiu should completely ignore her or something but make her miss you and realize how important you are to her.. Also you need a little more courage in an adequate moment try going for a kiss or something more intimate. IF you never take the chance youll end up staying forever in the friendzone
Just my 2 cents
 
I kept reading to see if you actually asked her out.
I kind of expected it cause I have seen girls who act ambiguous and very intimate(not always in a sexual way of course),for I find very cruel and it gives false hopes to guys.
I dunno if she's using you,I hope she is not cause that could cause you a lot of harm.But I think eventually you'll be the one to either cut it off with her or you'll have to get over her and have only pure friendly feelings for her.You can't possibly imagine to live with the burden of such feelings for the rest of your life next to her?
As for Mr.Richard,he seems to be doing the same thing he says women do.Generalizations due to his ownn experience.Not to mention that the whole "girls go for douche" is so cliche it's not funny anymore.
Like you said yourself Mr.Richard,there are girls who do say"it wasn't meant to be" as in not trying to take any blame.But you seem to share the same trait with them.All you do is talk of women as if you're some kind of expert yet not once have you said something about what went wrong BECAUSE of you.
 
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