[V4] What's Your Mood?

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Depressed and fighting the suicidal thoughts

I found out yesterday that my boyfriend is not happy with me and he's only sticking around because moving on would be harder to do than "deal with" me.


This is a man I look up to, love with all my heart, brag about, and he doesn't even want to be with me. For months, he's been unhappy. I can't believe it. This hurts so bad. All I've wanted was to feel loved, and I never really did. I thought, well, maybe he does love me unconditionally, he just doesn't show it in a way I'd expect. But that's not the case at all.
 
Mood: Lethargic

Reason: I'm always like this after I've had a splitting headache; I went to bed with it, and it was gone when I woke up, but my head is all fuzzy from where I had it...it'll probably take me a while to go back to normal, as such. Just as long as the damn thing doesn't come back...
 
Mood: Miserable and Tired

Hrm :hmmm: This morning I have woken up feeling like utter crap. Was up pretty late last night tending to my sick little dog. We had to rush him to the vet as he was acting weird. Turns out he had a giant Abscess on his arse...poor little thing was in so much pain....it wasn't hard to tell because you should have heard the screaming that came from his mouth. I didn't think something so tiny could make so much noise :| I think the vet trip ended up being more distressing for me than for him. My sister said I looked horrified... haha.

I don't want to go to work. I've been stressing about it all day, a friend of mine was randomly an arsehole to me last night too and I dunno, I guess coz I'm feeling down everything just upsets me more than it should ;_; it's not fair....

But once i get this shitty Monday over I'll feel much better I think! Early night for me :damon:
 
Mood: Irked

Reason: I'm in for a fun-filled morning of organizing my external harddrive, at my mother's request...she tried to backup her laptop using it last night, and it failed. She thinks it's because it's already 75% full...so I need to sift through it and delete things. MY external harddrive, I hasten to reiterate. Not how I wanted to spend my morning, but there we are. I fail to see how my anime and music - which can't be more than 200GB in size, and this thing is 1TB - could take up that much space...I'm dreading this. But I suppose it gives me an excuse to put off sorting through my references, which is going to be even more tedious a task...
 
Mood: Great

Yesterday, I set up an online clothing shop! I released my first set of clothes immediately after. 3, maybe 4 hours from then, I started getting serious customers. Customers. That's PLURAL! =D I was afraid (I still am a little) because I am starting out with very little capital. However, my small business is off to a good start. My first set is nearing 'sold out' status in a matter of 24 hours! I am so happy. :ryan: I'm designing a logo right now and looking to release new clothes by the end of next week. I also have a few bags to release.

Also, I visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art today and I'm looking at their apprenticeship program. I just applied this morning. After many days of depression, I'm finally on a visible path again. =)
 
I'm doing a lot better today.

Im focusing a lot on my future right now; I'm going to go for my license next week (finally finished with driving school and got my certificate for 40% off of insurance), and I'm working towards becoming a music reporter. I'm really excited for that. I know someone in the business, she interviewed Justin Bieber, 50 Cent, Michael Ceater, and tons of artists. I want to become a part of that, so it's my main focus now.
 
Mood: Content

Reason: I have no pressing concerns for today, so I'm going to relax and indulge in some easy, lazy editing this morning, which I would have done yesterday had it not been press-ganged into sorting out my own external harddrive, which I was quite happy to leave as it was...even if there is only a third of the space remaining on it. Which makes me wonder how the hell the backups on it got so big. Also, I can't get the Soviet March from C&C Red Alert 3 out of my head. I feel like I'm about to go to war with someone. Works for me.

Oh, and today is also my three-year anniversary on FFF. Hear that? You've somehow managed to tolerate me for three years. You should all be happy.
 
Sleepy

I'm going to dedicate this post to sleeping and how wonderful it is. Especially during the day when the sun is warming your body as it shines through half-opened blinds. It takes me back to my junior high days. Oh, youth.

Now I'm nostalgic.
 
A bit disheartened.

The PGCE is hard. :lew: And sometimes, quite humiliating. I'm improving, but every mistake I make causes me to feel a bit embarrassed. The school is also quite small, so I feel a bit like a burden. :hmmm: And all of my friends live far away. :sad3: And my cat has been missing for five days now! :ness:
 
Mood: Fairly peppy

Reason: I slept quite well last night. That's enough to put me in a relatively good mood; I'm sleeping better since I started going to bed later, and I think a few other things have helped as well. I don't really have anything to be peppy about, since I'm still unemployed and I still have another week of frantic editing to do, but...eh. I'm finding it difficult to preoccupy myself with this at the moment. Might have something to do with my choice of song, as well.
 
Fucking great

It's 4:40 in the morning and my brother and I are chillin in the basement with his buddy. This is good, I'm laughing so much tonight I can't handle it
 
Mood: Happy.

I'm feeling happy today, a little tired but mostly happy. This week started out pretty fucking bad, it was one of the worst weeks I've had in a long time but I'm feeling good now :griin: My beautiful boyfriend helped me feel better < 3

Also today I got a kitten. I've always said I hate cats, and i never wanted another ever again, but my sister begged me for this one and I'd been feeling guilty because we got in a very big argument yesterday so I caved. Plus she showed me the cutest picture of it and I couldn't say no :gonk:
We named it Pepper and it's black and fluffy. It's pretty funny and fearless. It doesn't give a shit about my dogs, just goes about it's business while they lick it and follow it about, it didn't even mind getting bathed (it got covered in poop in its box on the way home :damon: ) but yeah, having the kitten has made me happy too, all baby animals are adorable, even smelly old cats.

Though my dogs are still my favourite :toni:

I really hope the weekend goes well and I get to finish the weekend on a high :griin:
 
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Mood: Frustrated

Reason: After receiving feedback relating to my introduction and pulling together all the separate pieces of my dissertation into the first version of the finished product, I hit close to 17,000 words...but titles and references don't count. So I went through and cut them all out. The maximum word count is 15,000 words...I've got 16,003 words. How the bloody hell am I supposed to cut out 1003 words?! I'm about halfway through it and I've cut out...142 words. Mostly through slight edits and removal of unnecessary words I like to use to make my work sound more academic (I use "thus" and "however" quite a bit) but that won't be enough...

I am in despair. These requirements have left me in despair. Also, I have no idea what my print credits are like, or how much binding costs. One thing I will NOT be doing is making the stupid mistake of printing in colour again; last time it cost me about £15, and it's not required, so meh. I'm very frustrated right now; I'm all for adding more detail, but more detail means more words, and I have to compensate elsewhere, and I have no idea how to do it. This is just ridiculous.
 
Could be better

I kinda want to go home. I feel all glum and gloomy and shit when I'm over here - at a certain person's house. I just want to break free from this place.
 
Mood: Shattered

Reason: I was awake half the night, thinking about things. Should have gone to bed earlier; I always have difficulty sleeping if I go straight to bed without reading or watching something first. That, plus the smell of the six cakes my mother made last night (yes, six) lingers in the air still...that's not the kind of thing I like waking up to, to be honest. Cake smell is nice in evening, but the morning after it's just icky.

Today is also my mother's birthday...wonder what sort of mood she'll be in.
 
Mood: Alright

Reason: It's been a fairly relaxing day. I finally got my computer set up after weeks of putting it off. The first thing I did was update the Candy Cane thread which took me all day.

I have to take my sister out to a 21st in a couple of hours and I have no idea what I want for dinner yet.

The parents and my younger brother are out, so it's nice and quite and Steve is having a nana nap in the lounge room.
Oh and Henry (our dog) is barking at anything and everything outside so he kind of disturbs the peace a bit. <_<

Other than that, it feels like a good night to have a drink. :-)
 
I'm doing okay, despite being quite tired.

My tutor from Uni came to observe one of my lessons yesterday. My main target is to develop presense - I negotiate too much and I'm not harsh enough. :lew: In the evening, I went to a quiz with one of my friends and someone else from school. It was nice socialising, but a bit long winded. I haven't had a night off this week (I've been planning lessons every evening) so 7 til 10:30 was just a smidgen too long. >.<
 
I'm feeling both shitty and happy today, as I have been for the past couple of days.

Reason I'm feeling shitty is down to my throat and chest infection. Reason I'm happy is because everything else is just fantastic these days. :)
 
Motivated

It's about time too. It feels great to be motivated and actually look forward to doing homework. I like what the feeling of taking steps ahead does to me. It's a truly amazing thing to realize the sky's not the limit.
 
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