I had met some people in my life who had disabilities but always was a bit shy around them due to their disability, mostly because I sort of felt bad for them. I know that they just want to treated as equals and that they are human but sometimes I cannot help but feel bad that I have all of my parts whil they lost theirs. It just doesn't seem very fair, at least that is how I feel. Do you ever get that feeling? How do I deal with this while acknowledging their disability? Or what advice do can you give me?
Treating someone who is disabled
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Most people don't like to be pitied, well most people with some kind of disability, most people you think they have problems want people to have sympathy for them, but that's neither here nor there. In situations like that it's best you let that person take the lead, and your behaviour should be similar to there own.
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If they are recently disabled it is one thing but if they have been disabled all of their life it is another. I mean being shy around someone who is disabled is merely due to little exposure to it. Most don't mind the handicap now, because they have had to deal with it for x amount of years.. so unless you are always staring at their problematic limbs, then I see no reason to really make a person uncomfortable. I mean as a human there are many types of disabilities and I'm not just talking about physical. For me it would be a lot harder to communicate to someone who has turrets, than someone who has had their leg blown off due to a land mine.
As Hal said, it really depends on how open the other person is too. I mean I have seen handicap people who can be complete aholes and some who act like complete saints and then some who act like normal human being just trying to get by on their dollar. If they have accepted their circumstances, I mean there really isn't too much one can say about it. So being shy around them to me is sort of a bit closed minded, but like I said it is from little exposure. They are human beings, to be treated like human beings, you can call their handicap a mishap, but some think otherwise.
As Hal said, it really depends on how open the other person is too. I mean I have seen handicap people who can be complete aholes and some who act like complete saints and then some who act like normal human being just trying to get by on their dollar. If they have accepted their circumstances, I mean there really isn't too much one can say about it. So being shy around them to me is sort of a bit closed minded, but like I said it is from little exposure. They are human beings, to be treated like human beings, you can call their handicap a mishap, but some think otherwise.
I've always been a very sheltered person and even though I've worked in the retail industry for around six years, I still find it hard to look at people because I know I will end up staring and make them feel uncomfortable.
It's not that I think it's funny or anything. I just get curious and want to look at whatever happens to be wrong with them a bit closer.
It's kind of interesting to me sometimes as I wonder how on earth someone can live a relatively normal lifestyle whilst having some of the worst physical problems.
When it comes to people who are mentally disabled, I'm actually rather scared to go near them. I don't really know what to expect from them and really would not rather find out.
But that's me personally.
It's not that I think it's funny or anything. I just get curious and want to look at whatever happens to be wrong with them a bit closer.
It's kind of interesting to me sometimes as I wonder how on earth someone can live a relatively normal lifestyle whilst having some of the worst physical problems.
When it comes to people who are mentally disabled, I'm actually rather scared to go near them. I don't really know what to expect from them and really would not rather find out.
But that's me personally.
Staring is the worst thing. I remember when I was a kid and people would stare at my handicapped sister, it would bother me. Basically they would look at her like she was a freak or something. My sister can't talk or walk and doesn't have a real way to express herself, but it would annoy me to no end.
In my experience, I would talk to a handicapped person the same way I would anyone else. I basically treated them as I would a non-handicapped and pretty much act oblivious to their condition. This was my way of not making them feel uncomfortable, especially if it's someone who wasn't in this condition their entire life.
With that said, I never showed them pity in any way, I just allowed them to feel like they were non-handicapped. Some are very open about it, and have no problem with telling people how or why they became disabled. These people were the only one's I would ask questions to, seeing as how they feel comfortable talking about it. Others tend to feel a little shy about it, these are the people I just talk to regularly and act oblivious around to prevent them from feeling bad about their situation. Bottom line, just treat disabled people as if they aren't disabled and things won't get awkward or uncomfortable for either party. Remember, they're human too.
And contrary to popular believe, some handicapped individuals do like to be pitied. Morely individuals who have something to gain from receiving the pity of others. Representative Jim Langevin from my home state of Rhode Island has been in office for many years by winning over the pity vote. Does it work? Absolutely.
In my experience, I would talk to a handicapped person the same way I would anyone else. I basically treated them as I would a non-handicapped and pretty much act oblivious to their condition. This was my way of not making them feel uncomfortable, especially if it's someone who wasn't in this condition their entire life.
With that said, I never showed them pity in any way, I just allowed them to feel like they were non-handicapped. Some are very open about it, and have no problem with telling people how or why they became disabled. These people were the only one's I would ask questions to, seeing as how they feel comfortable talking about it. Others tend to feel a little shy about it, these are the people I just talk to regularly and act oblivious around to prevent them from feeling bad about their situation. Bottom line, just treat disabled people as if they aren't disabled and things won't get awkward or uncomfortable for either party. Remember, they're human too.
And contrary to popular believe, some handicapped individuals do like to be pitied. Morely individuals who have something to gain from receiving the pity of others. Representative Jim Langevin from my home state of Rhode Island has been in office for many years by winning over the pity vote. Does it work? Absolutely.
I have always been around people with disabilities- I have a cousin who had Down's Syndrome (five years younger than me) and my dad has MS. In my experience pity is the last thing they need- like my dad said to me pity is only one step above patronising, and patronising someone because of a disability is horrible. As for my cousin, if you met him you wouldn't feel the need to pity him, he's such a happy person and he's obviously enjoying getting on with his life
Coming from someone who knows a close family member being disabled, I do feel bad for them and at the same time, I'll talk to them just like anyone else. I see them sometimes when I'm in work particularly because they'll buy their shopping. Even so when I get the chance, I always be extra helpful when they can't reach things. Now that might sound annoying to some of the other customers, but I could care less what they think. If they wanted help, they should just ask for it. On the other hand, it makes me feel better just knowing that I can help them in my job.
[keep in mind I've only read OP's post. I haven't read the entire thread so I apologize if I've said anything that was already said]
Well I was always taught, since I was a little girl, to treat everyone equally no matter what race, sex, orientation, etc.
That goes for disabled people as well. So naturally, I just treat them as if I would any other person I've just met -but with a lot more personality. Normally, I'm a little awkward and very anti-social, so I try to kind of get over that part of me when speaking to anyone who is disabled. If I were to stay anti-social and awkward, it would seem as if I'm only behaving this way because said person is disabled. But that's about the only thing I would change about myself.
I'm not sure what advice to give you. All I can say is that a disabled person is still a human being, so you should treat them as so. It's not hard. All you need to do is look at them as a human being rather than just some disabled person.
Well I was always taught, since I was a little girl, to treat everyone equally no matter what race, sex, orientation, etc.
That goes for disabled people as well. So naturally, I just treat them as if I would any other person I've just met -but with a lot more personality. Normally, I'm a little awkward and very anti-social, so I try to kind of get over that part of me when speaking to anyone who is disabled. If I were to stay anti-social and awkward, it would seem as if I'm only behaving this way because said person is disabled. But that's about the only thing I would change about myself.
I'm not sure what advice to give you. All I can say is that a disabled person is still a human being, so you should treat them as so. It's not hard. All you need to do is look at them as a human being rather than just some disabled person.