Serious Stalker Troubles

R

Ravenshirin

ShinRa Guard
Joined
May 8, 2011
Messages
28
Location
U.S.A.
Gil
0
So I've been a little freaked out since before college let out for summer break. While I was at school, I had this guy who was my friend. He started to follow me around--even coming over to my house. My parents began to tell him that I wasn't there every time that he came over. He began to follow me around the school--even when I went to sleep. He would call or message or text me telling me that he loved me and stuff.... He was... creepy. Then one day, I got mad at him, and I used it as an excuse to stay away from him. That went well for a couple of weeks... Until a few weeks ago. He came over and asked why I was mad at him: I told him. I thought I was safe because I was in a public area of the school, so I turned away from him and closed my eyes (I was trying to sleep). He then proceeded to dump an entire mug of coffee on my head. It wasn't hot, but it really upset me. I've been checking my locks at night and watching the shadows to make sure I'm safe, but I've never felt more scared about guys than now. I'm not sure what to do... Mom says I should stop worrying about it because that's just making it so that "he wins," but I don't see how....
 
He wants to be with you and he's bitter you don't want the same. The sensible advise would be to call the police, but just get your dad or male friends to threaten him or knock him out. That'll sort the problem. Good luck with it though some guys can be really obssessive.
 
Well one thing you should do if your really worried and with him doing that is call the cops. They might be able to help issue a small restraining order, since you both go to the same college. Also tell him to keep away and bring it up to anyone at the college that might be able to help. Aside from that, damn I really don't know what to say except get the cops involved.

Guys like this seem to be a bit clingy and the way your describing it, well unless something is done to stop him it could get worse real soon in a bad way. I hope if you tell him to back off again he will listen.
 
Call the cops.

In my opinion, it'd be foolish for you or anyone related to you or friends with you to handle this problem. You've told him you don't want to talk to him, say again in a way where you'll have proof that you said it, and if it doesn't stop, go to the cops.

Reacting with violence or threats of your own is just letting him win, and may get you yourself in trouble.
 
Slap a restraining order that fool. Or do what Harlequin said to do. Either way, it should get him to stop. but with a restraining order, if he decides to try that crap again, you can ensure that he regrets it. :ryan:
 
Well, I'm transferring colleges too--and I already told the person in charge of the college. The whole coffee incident was obviously reported and she wanted to hear my side of the story--I told her everything (not just the coffee part of it). I told her that I was scared and that I'd slap a restraining order on him if he so much as looked at me again. I think she told him because he's stayed away from me since then, but I can't help but feel scared when I think about it... I ended up not doing it, and it's been several weeks since it happened. I guess I'm just shaken up about it--it's scary!
 
sounds like you've got everything sorted out already. if he tries to pull anything again, call the cops. you obviously feel your safety threatened, so it is in no way an irrational move. also, he's a total dick for dumping coffee on you. had it been hot, you could have sued him.
 
Thanks everybody. It's nice to know that I'm not "blowing it out of proportion" like what everyone else seems to think... That's what the person in charge of the college told everyone--that it wasn't a big deal and that I was blowing it out of proportion. I was so mad... While everyone seemed to be laughing it off and calling me a drama queen, I was actually scared... But thanks. I feel less crazy now. ;p
 
I have a question that you don't have to answer, but I was rereading it and it jumped out at me. It's sort of silly is why I say that you don't have to answer it.

Why do you sleep at school anyway? :wacky:

And also, you're not over reacting really, but you do seem a little over worried about it. If it was only at school, then I doubt he's stupid enough to come to your house and try anything. It seems like he does sort of understand that there are boundaries he can't cross, though he seems to cross others.

It's good that he backed off though. If he did that, and you never really hear from again, then I'd just not worry about it. Sometimes people get caught up and do things they regret. Maybe he realized that he was going over overboard.
 
Someone going into your room while your sleeping and pouring coffee on you is being a drama queen? if someone was able to come into my room while I was sleeping and did that I would either A. Kick there ass, B. be freaked out, or C. Kick there ass and call the cops.
 
Justice Ramza said:
Someone going into your room while your sleeping and pouring coffee on you is being a drama queen? if someone was able to come into my room while I was sleeping and did that I would either A. Kick there ass, B. be freaked out, or C. Kick there ass and call the cops.
Click to expand...

She didn't say her room, in fact she said she thought she was safe because she was in a public place at the school. That's what made me ask why she sleeps in public places at school. :wacky:

Unless her room is a public place? But that doesn't really make sense.
 
Most college kids laugh off things that would normally be serious. Anyone who shows emotion becomes the public jester. That's probably what happened in your case. Crowds thrive off of schadenfreude.
 
I used to sleep at school because it was right across the hall from my boss's room (who is very caring, but she wasn't there at the time), and because it was my club's space--they normally protect their own. The only problem was: he was the student body president, so no one thought he'd do something like that. I had always been safe before. It's just that no one expected it. By time people realized there was a problem, it was too late. I had about 5 more minutes until I had to go to class--I wasn't even really sleeping, I was just laying on a chair down there, relaxing before I had to go work out. I just had always felt safe at school before. And I am worried about now because he HAS come to my house, but not since he did that, luckily. *sigh* And I find it silly that people laugh at serious matters... Why would they do something like that?
 
He's obviously a creep. If not for following you everywhere despite your discomfort, then for dumping a mug of coffee on your head when you expressed your concerns to him. Is he dangerous? Maybe. I wouldn't suggest escalating the issue by getting the police involved immediately, but if problems with him persist in any form, you'd probably have little choice but to notify the authorities. Same old advice.
 
You could have made a police report for assult when he dumped the coffee on you but im going with the theory you didnt.
At this point if your still worried go make a police report about it. They probably wont do much beyond talking to him but its a start to prove hes harassing you and any evidence is good evidence.
Also keep a written log of your "encounters"with him with the date,location,time ect.
It will be more believable to the athorities if you have a log instead of just saying you see him at lunch everyday.
Although after the coffee bit he might leave you alone depending on weather he was just crushing on you or is a true blue stalker....Stalkers arent fun and very hard to prove good luck
 

these things work themselves out in the end.

at least all he did was pour coffee over your head, he couldve smashed you in the face with the mug etc.
 
Well, and also--everyone saw it. It was in the middle of a busy cafeteria. I'm friends with the security guard, so he said he'd keep the tape for me because it has the whole incident at a perfect angle. All I'd need to do is talk to him and he'd be more than willing. I'm lucky to have so many people who care about me.
 
Appealing to the authorities if things get real bad is your best bet to solve things. You should also try talking to him again, as unpleasant as that is, but you probably should confront him about the whole deal.

I honestly feel for you because a couple years back I had a similar issue (although in my case it was 2 girls who were cross at me for an article I'd written about Twilight...). In my case the confrontation worked (if only because I promised them I'd break their jaws if they kept it up...), so you might want to try and stand up to him.

The way I see it, stalking usually only works when the victim is afraid. I'm not saying you should go gun-ho on him, just confront him about the whole deal to see if he's even willing to come to his senses before you call in the big guns (aka the cops and/or lawyers).
 
Actually, luckily, I don't go to school with him anymore, so that's unnecessary. I'd really rather not talk to him at all, and I'm transferring schools (not because of him, mind you). I was just really scared at first because he was... creepy. Really creepy.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top