So, statuses on Facebook...

[Kim Taehyung]

People will tell just about anything on those.

One friend posted this:

Not sure if Liam Neeson is in my bathroom or if my Dad had a killer lunch but I heard someone yell "release the Kraken" and water is pouring under the door

...yeah.

Anyone else seen odd, random, too-much-info statuses like this?

 

[West]

Not sure if Liam Neeson is in my bathroom or if my Dad had a killer lunch but I heard someone yell "release the Kraken" and water is pouring under the door

Haha! I wish my friends made creative statuses like this. But they're all boring and losers and I tell them that every day.

...I'm a terrible friend.

But for reals, many of my friends often just put song lyrics or quotes in their statuses. Sometimes they'll put real statuses, but I can't really think of anything giggle-inducing off the top of my head. If I come across any gems, I'll post 'em.

 

[Abstract Debauchery]

No you're not. I tell my friends that all the time.

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

As much as I love Liam Neeson (probably more than is appropriate), Bill Nighy says that line far better in PotC.

 

[Davey Gaga]

As much as I love Liam Neeson (probably more than is appropriate), Bill Nighy says that line far better in PotC.

You're such a...film-y person. Aye, you heard.

"Just slipped on the ice outside - feels like I just got raped up the arse by a train!"

 

[Toshiya]

Most of the statuses on my facebook at the moment are just about the football
Normally, I just get a load of stuff that I (and most other people, I'm guessing) don't really care about... but I guess we're all guilty of posting useless stuff

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

You're such a...film-y person. Aye, you heard.

"Just slipped on the ice outside - feels like I just got raped up the arse by a train!"

I'm a student of it!

Also, you still have ice up there?

 

[Davey Gaga]

Nah that's just one I remember reading at Christmas haha. We did get snow last monday though. IN SPRING!

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

Yeah I saw that on the weather last week. Pretty much the whole of Scotland was just under a massive white blob. It made me laugh until they said it might move South a little bit.

 

[Bambi]

the funniest statuses are

X is pissed off

Y replies asking AW WHY?

X answers 'don't wanna talk about it'

Dick eddddddddds

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

Those ones where people just keep posting that they're sick of "it" are annoying. As if we're all supposed to know what "it" is. And then if you ask, they won't tell you because it's private.

 

[Bambi]

or when people air their dirty laundry about their love lives or some person or other xDD

 

[Gaige]

Statuses like: "It wasn't meant to be. "

 

[Davey Gaga]

Those ones where people just keep posting that they're sick of "it" are annoying. As if we're all supposed to know what "it" is. And then if you ask, they won't tell you because it's private.

Or "sick of men", fuck off wimminz

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

There was a girl I used to work with just kept putting up shit like that, so I removed her.

 

[Bambi]

Or "sick of men", fuck off wimminz

 

[Abstract Debauchery]

"I'm sick of men"
"It wasn't meant to be"
"He wasn't my true love after all"
"Men are so stupid"
"I need a new BF"

Statuses like that make me lol.

HARD MODE: They're all written by the same person.

NIGHTMARE MODE: They're all written by a man.

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

You're a poor excuse for a lesbian.

 

[Bambi]

It's not just us women that make drivvely statuses, though, tbf... most of theones ive seen like that are...women

Mine are either fart, beer, food or game related

there are a few dudes that like to cry on my list ive noticed though

SO DON'T LABEL US, YOU BUNCH OF CUNTS

Good god, what IS it with Velcros bad breath today

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

There are more guys that whine like that than girls on my Facebook.