Quotes Thread

Into Wayne's World again :)

Wayne Campbell: Am I supposed to be a man, am I supposed to say, it's OK, I don't mind. I don't mind. Well I mind! I mind big time? And you know what the worst part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.
Cassandra: Is that true?
Wayne Campbell: Yes, everything except the reading part

Mikita's Manager, Glen: Anything wrong, Davy?
Davy: Yeah, I got paid today.
Mikita's Manager, Glen: Yeah, I know what that's like.
Davy: No. You don't understand. They laid me off. I got one of these.
Mikita's Manager, Glen: Yeah, I know how that feels.
Davy: Know what I'd like to do?
Mikita's Manager, Glen: Yeah I know what you'd like to do. You'd like to find the guy who did it, rip his still beating heart out of his chest and hold it in front of his face so he can see how black it is before he dies.
Davy: Actually, I was thinking of filing a grievance with the union.
Mikita's Manager, Glen: Well, the world's a twisted place.

Wayne Campbell: [sees his car parked outside the house] Ahh... the Mirth-Mobile...

[Holding Claudia Schiffer picture]
Garth Algar: Hey, are you done yet? I'm getting tired of holding it.
Wayne Campbell: Yeah, that's what she said
 
Early Edition
Chuck: You're a psychic? Do you read palms?
Psychic: *nods*
Chuck holds out palm for Psychic to read
Psychic: *gasps* You shouldn't be standing here! Did you have a Caesar salad for lunch?
Chuck: Oh my God! How did you know?
Psychic: The dressing. It's on your hands. Go wash 'em.
 
Both from Annie Hall:

Alvy Singer: "A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark."

Alvy Singer: "[narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs."
 
Phantom of the Opera;

"The world showed no compassion for me." - Erik.
"He kills without a thought, he murders all that's good. I know I can't refuse, but still - I wish I could." - Christine.

The Simpsons Movie;

"Would someone throw the goddamn bomb?!" - Marge.
 
The simpsons movie:
Ned Flanders: Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful...
Ned Flanders: [screams]
Ned Flanders: PENIS!
Rod Flanders, Todd Flanders: [devoutly] ... bountiful penis.
Todd Flanders: Amen.

EPA Official: S-sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power...
Russ Cargill: Of course I have. You ever tried going mad without power? It's boring. No one listens to you!

Homer Simpson: [Pig nudges the plank the Simpsons are using to escape] No, Plopper. If you push that, daddy will die.
Pig: [looks at Homer and pushes plank] Oink.

Russ Cargill: [enters the Oval Office] President Schawarzenegger.
President Schwarzenegger: Ja. That is me.
Russ Cargill: The pollution in Springfield has reached crisis levels
President Schwarzenegger: Ach! Everything is "crisis this" and "end-of-the-world that"! No one opens with a joke! I miss Danny DeVito.
Russ Cargill: You like jokes, huh? Well, stop me if you've heard this one.
[holds up cage with the mutant squirral]
President Schwarzenegger: [gasp] Look at all those angry eyes and pointy teeth! It's like Christmas at the Kennedy Compound!
Russ Cargill: Mr. President, you chose me, Russ Cargill, most successful man in America, to head the EPA, the least successful organization. That's why I've narrowed your choices down to five unthinkable options.
[spreads the files on the President's desk]
Russ Cargill: Each one will cause untold misery and...
President Schwarzenegger: [points to File #3] I pick Number Three!
Russ Cargill: Really? You don't want to read them first?
President Schwarzenegger: I was elected to *lead*, not to *read*. Number Three!
 
That 70s Show

Hyde: "They should have X-rayed your head at the hospital!"
Kelso: "They did. And for your information, they found nothing!"

Hyde: "I'm telling you, the government has a car that runs on water, man. They just don't want us to know, because then we'd buy all the water. Then there'd be nothing left to drink but beer! And the government knows that beer...set us free!"

And there always has to be at least one Red Forman quote :D

Red: "Let me tell you something. If the US government decides to stick a tracking device up your ass, you say 'Thank you!' and 'God bless America!'"

70s show's totally awesome
 
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Your Movie/TV series fav quote

Hello everyone! I'm just new here and find that this site is very cool... That's why I want to share some stuff here... Here are my fav TV series/ Movie quote...

1. "I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!" by Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock) from the movie - Miss Congeniality -

2. "About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how dominate that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." by Isabella Swan (Kristen Stewart) from the movie - Twilight -

3. How do you know when how much is too much? Too much too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask... And when is it all just too much to bear? by Dr. Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) from the TV series - Grey's Anatomy-

4. "You didn't come here to see how I am. You came to see how you are, because you know what you did. You wanna make sure you're okay." by Sydney Bristow (Jennifer Garner) from the TV series - Alias -

5. "Preparation can only take you so far. After that, you've got to take a few leaps of faith." by Michael Scofield" from the TV series - Prison Break"

So, what is your TV/Movie quote?
 
Ashes To Ashes

Alex: You're taller than I imagined.
Gene: I'm bigger in every department.

You're under arrest for drug trafficking, abduction and shooting me in the head - Alex Drake to Arthur Layton

Take that bloody seatbelt off, you're a police officer not a bloody vicar. - Gene Hunt to Alex Drake

Anything you do say will be taken down, ripped up and shoved down your scrawny little throat until you choke to death, Gene Hunt Chapter 1 Verse 2! - Gene Hunt to a Hostage Taker and Rapist

Doctor Who

The Doctor: There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.

The Doctor: I'm a...I'm a police officer, that's what I am! I've got a badge, and a police car, and I can prove it! I've got - [shows psychic paper]
Dame Kelly Holmes Close resident: We've had plenty of coppers poking around here, and you don't look, or sound, like any of them.
The Doctor: [Indicating Rose] See look, I've got a colleague. Lewis.
Dame Kelly Holmes Close resident: Well, she looks less like one than you do.
The Doctor: Trainee. New recruit. It was either that or hairdressing.

The Doctor: I like that, "Allons-y". I should say allons-y more often. Look sharp Rose Tyler, allons-y! And then it would be really brilliant if I met someone called Alonso, 'cause then I could say allons-y Alonso every time.... [beat] you're staring at me.
Rose: My mum's still on board.
[The Doctor looks up at the shelf on the wall, horrified.]
Jackie: [Sitting on shelf] If we end up on Mars, I'm gonna kill you!

The Doctor: ... With Martha, like I said, it got ... complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.
Donna: You just want to mate?!
The Doctor: I just want a mate!
Donna: You're not mating with me, sunshine!
The Doctor: A mate! I want a mate!
Donna: Well, just as well, cos I'm not having any of that nonsense! You're just a long streak of nothing!

The Doctor: You need to get yourself a better dictionary. When you do, look up "genocide". You'll find a little picture of me there, and the caption'll read "Over my dead body".

Donna: It's a murder, a mystery and Agatha Christie!
The Doctor: So? Happens to me all the time
Donna: I know but isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders, not really. That's like meeting Dickens surrounded by ghosts at Christmas!
The Doctor: Well...
Donna: Oh come on! It's not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy! Could we? Noddy's not real-is he? Tell me there's no Noddy!
The Doctor: There's no Noddy.


Seriously, if you want a show with too many quotes, that award has got to go to Doctor Who. :wacky:
 
Nicolas Cage's monologue at the end of Raising Arizona:

'That night I had a dream. I dreamt I was as light as the ether - a floating spirit visiting things to come. The shades and shadows of the people in my life rassled their way their way into my slumber. I dreamed that Gale and Evelle had decided to return to prison. Probably that's just as well. I don't mean to sound superior, and they're a swell couple of guys, but maybe they weren't ready yet to come out into the world. And then I dreamed on, into the future, to a Christmas morn in the Arizona home where Nathan Junior was opening a present from a kindly couple who preferred to remain unknown. I saw Glen a few years later, still having no luck getting the cops to listen to his wild tales about me and Ed. Maybe he threw in one Polack joke too many. I don't know. And still I dreamed on, further into the future than I had ever dreamed before, watching Nathan Junior's progress from afar, taking pride in his accomplishments as if he were our own. Wondering if he ever thought of us and hoping that maybe we'd broadened his horizons a little even if he couldn't remember just how they got broadened. But still I hadn't dreamt nothing about me and Ed until the end. And this was cloudier cause it was years, years away. But I saw an old couple being visited by their children, and all their grandchildren too. The old couple weren't screwed up. And neither were their kids or their grandkids. And I don't know. You tell me. This whole dream, was it wishful thinking? Was I just fleeing reality like I know I'm liable to do? But me and Ed, we can be good too. And it seemed real. It seemed like us and it seemed like, well, our home. If not Arizona, then a land not too far away. Where all parents are strong and wise and capable and all children are happy and beloved. I don't know. Maybe it was Utah.'
 
"There would be no eulogies for Bob, no photographs of his body would be sold in sundries stores, no people would crowd the streets in the rain to see his funeral cortege, no biographies would be written about him, no children named after him, no one would ever pay twenty-five cents to stand in the rooms he grew up in. The shotgun would ignite, and Ella Mae would scream, but Robert Ford would only lay on the floor and look at the ceiling, the light going out of his eyes before he could find the right words."
-- The Assassination of Jesse James, Narrator

"It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion."
-- Dune, Piter de Vries

"Don't mock me my friend. It's a condition of mental divergence. I find myself on the planet Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate the barbarian hordes on Pluto. But even though this is a totally convincing reality for me in every way, nevertheless Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche. I am mentally divergent, in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here. When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend?"
-- 12 Monkeys, L. J. Washington

"CHARLIE SWAN: I gotta head down to Mason Country. Security guard at the Grisham Mill got attacked by some kind of animal.
BILL CORBETT: We think it was a bear because it, er, sucked all the blood from his corpse."
-- Rifftrax Commentary on Twilight
 
This is going to bite me in the ass, and it's going to come around and blow up in my face. I will have no ass OR face left.

- Alan, Two And A Half Men



What are they paying you? I'll double it! I'll give you anything! Money! Women! ...Men?

- Stewie, Family Guy



Dr. Meredith Grey: After all this time, all your warnings about me sleeping with my boss and you're doing the same exact thing.

Dr. Cristina Yang: Oh, it's not the same thing.

Dr. Meredith Grey: It's the exact same!

Dr. Cristina Yang: No, it's not. You and McDreamy are in a relationship.

Dr. Meredith Grey: And you and Burke are in?

Dr. Cristina Yang: Switzerland. It's very neutral there and they make very nice watches.

- Grey's Anatomy
 
Cant beat good old anchorman , ron burgundy is a legend "No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good".

*Can you please lengthen your post. This is a post count section and this is classed as spam. Please elaborate on your posts in future. Thanks.*
 
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This is probably one of my best moments in the Twilight movie.

Rosalie Hale: Here comes the human.
[Bella and Edward walk around the corner]
Esme Cullen: [Runs up to Bella] Bella! We're making Italiano for you.
Isabella Swan: Okay.
Edward Cullen: Bella, this is Esme, my mother for all intents and purposes.
Isabella Swan: Buongiorno?
Esme Cullen: Molto Bene!
Dr. Carlisle Cullen: It gives us an excuse to use the kitchen for the first time.
Esme Cullen: I hope you're hungry.
Isabella Swan: Yeah, absolutely!
Edward Cullen: She already ate.
Rosalie Hale: [Breaks the bowl she's holding] Perfect!
Isabella Swan: Yeah-it's just that I know... I know you guys don't eat.
Esme Cullen: Of course, that's very considerate of you.
Edward Cullen: Just ignore Rosalie. I do.
Rosalie Hale: Yeah! Let's just keep pretending like this isn't dangerous for all of us.
Isabella Swan: I would never tell anybody anything.
Dr. Carlisle Cullen: She knows that.
Emmett Cullen: Yeah, well the problem is... you two have gone public now so...
Esme Cullen: Emmett!
Rosalie Hale: No, she should know. The entire family will be implicated if this ends badly.
Isabella Swan: Badly as in... I become the meal.
 
Summer Heights High

Ja'mie King:

* I love your bins, they're so random.

* Public schools are so random.

* Just because I'm rich, doesn't mean I'm a bitch.

---

Ja'mie and Holly after their fallout:

Ja'mie King: I'm not sitting next to some random emo.
Holly: Well sorry Ja'mie, it looks like you don't have a choice.
Ja'mie King: Why don't you go fuck yourself public school bitch.
Holly: Chill out Ja'mie, you're really embarrassing yourself.
Ja'mie King: You know what would be embarrassing? Having your head!

---

We Can be Heroes

Ja'mie:

* Are you sure you're the manager? Because you sound like a fat bitch. Seriously, I'm sorry but you sound fucking fat.
 
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“Over the course of the average lifetime
you meet a lot of people. Some of them
stick with you through thick and thin.
Some weave their way through your life
and disappear forever. But once in a
while someone comes along who earns a
permanent place in your heart”


“Once upon a time there was a girl I knew, who lived across the street. Brown hair, brown eyes. When she smiled, I smiled. When she cried, I cried. Every single thing that ever happened to me that mattered, in some way had to do with her. That day Winnie and I promised each other that no matter what, that we'd always be together. It was a promise full of passion and truth and wisdom. It was the kind of promise that can only come from the hearts of the very young.”


Both from the Epic TV Show The Wonder Years
 
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