Serious Is there really such thing as love

I'd agree that dating isn't for everyone. I was lucky to have found my fiance because we have a lot of the same interests and we really work well together. We've been together since we were 15. People have told us that we should have dated other people, but we were always so happy together that we never found any reason to break up. And I've never really had the interest to date many people different people so if we had broken up, I probably would not have gone off to pursue a serious relationship someone else.

Well we've been together for 7 1/2 years XD and we do know each other quite well, so much that I often pretty much know the answer to any question that I ask him. Our relationship may have been more difficult because we did start dating when we were young, and we did have to mature together. We've adjusted to each other's quirks and can both be ourselves around each other. Even though I believed it back then, we definently did not have "mature" love back when we were 15 and 16.

After 7 1/2 years, I am still happy when I see him. I become very happy when he calls to tell me that he will be home from work soon or when he surprises me with a date. It's not the "I MUST BE WITH HIM 24 HOURS A DAY, HE'S PERFECT LOLZ" Like it was in the begining (which was lust and infatuation) But it's more that I am happy to spend a significant amount of time with him. I don't worry about looking good in front of him anymore. And if he were to suddenly leave my life, either by death or a break up, I'd be devastated.

(And we do have other friends besides each other, both male and female. So it's not like we have had no experience with someone else of the opposite gender)

So yeah, I think love does exist. You're only 14 Oblivion, you change and develop a lot during your early teen years. So no need to make that decision now :)

And I did not mean to just give my life story XD
 
J said:
And to everybody else. You may believe that love is a wonderful thing, but remember that there are more wonderful things out there in life besides love, and no one can tell you which of these wonderful things you have to believe is worth trying. Only you can decide for yourself which of these wonderful things in life you have the time to try.
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I dont think anyone is saying love is the be all and end all, and I also think (hope) we're not naive enough to think love is the only thing worth going out and getting :ffs:

Actually, while I'm at it, how are you even qualified to make that comment having never experienced love, or indeed even appear to want it? How do you know there's more wonderful things? How do you not know it's the most immense feeling on the planet, if you've never experienced it yourself? Not everyone is you, to some people love probably IS the most important thing to them, doesn't mean they are gunna neglect every other aspect of their life

I mean what, you wanna spend your entire life doing maths, or something maths related or whatever, because you find pleasure in that. That would be my worst nightmare. Whatever floats your boat

It's useless trying to debate on a subject like love, for start, its just ToTA, it's not the sleeping forest, there's no NEED to debate, its just people expressing their opinions and experiences
 
Love isn't all butterflies in the tummy and being swept up off your feet... it isn't long walks along the beach at sunset... real love (with someone whom you'd spend your life with) is having endless arguments over stupid things, and joking about something else within minutes. It's coming home after a rough day at work, to find they had done the chores ahead of time for you so you could relax. It's allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable in front of another person, physically, emotionally and sexually, because you know above all other people that they wouldn't judge you.

Love isn't all sugar and rainbows, it's about being completely real with one other person.

/2 cents

Also, I feel tempted to quote this :awesome:

Right, I've gay'd the shit out of myself now
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Bambi said:
I dont think anyone is saying love is the be all and end all, and I also think (hope) we're not naive enough to think love is the only thing worth going out and getting :ffs:

Actually, while I'm at it, how are you even qualified to make that comment having never experienced love, or indeed even appear to want it? How do you know there's more wonderful things? How do you not know it's the most immense feeling on the planet, if you've never experienced it yourself? Not everyone is you, to some people love probably IS the most important thing to them, doesn't mean they are gunna neglect every other aspect of their life

I mean what, you wanna spend your entire life doing maths, or something maths related or whatever, because you find pleasure in that. That would be my worst nightmare. Whatever floats your boat

It's useless trying to debate on a subject like love, for start, its just ToTA, it's not the sleeping forest, there's no NEED to debate, its just people expressing their opinions and experiences
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I am not trying to say I know for sure that there are things more wonderful than love out there (okay, I guess there being more wonderful things besides love (quantitatively) and more wonderful things than love (qualitatively) is confusing; I was referring to the former), but that there are other wonderful things out there; not just love. I am not trying to qualify love as being better or worse than anything; it's just one of several things that people may find wonderful.

I admit I haven't experienced love, and can't explain exactly how it feels. What I know of it comes from indirect experience from other people's experience with love. There have been people who have said it is wonderful, and probably just as many who say it's not worth their time. And indirect experience is how we know whether or not it's something like jumping off a cliff or something harmless, or something you think isn't worth trying at all.

Channy said:
Love isn't all butterflies in the tummy and being swept up off your feet... it isn't long walks along the beach at sunset... real love (with someone whom you'd spend your life with) is having endless arguments over stupid things, and joking about something else within minutes. It's coming home after a rough day at work, to find they had done the chores ahead of time for you so you could relax. It's allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable in front of another person, physically, emotionally and sexually, because you know above all other people that they wouldn't judge you.

Love isn't all sugar and rainbows, it's about being completely real with one other
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Right, but that's the problem--how do you know you can trust anyone? Time doesn't do anything. I had a friend who had a boyfriend for 6 years, and she ended up leaving him. Is there really even a point in being vulnerable to someone else? Wouldn't that leave you in an undesirable position of weakness?
 
J said:
Right, but that's the problem--how do you know you can trust anyone? Time doesn't do anything. I had a friend who had a boyfriend for 6 years, and she ended up leaving him. Is there really even a point in being vulnerable to someone else? Wouldn't that leave you in an undesirable position of weakness?
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It's the risk you take, there are no guarantees *shrug*

Channy is right though, its not all hearts and rainbows, but it's all about trust andif you're willing to take that risk I guess. If you're not, you will never know if youre missing out. If you are and you get fucked over then you're left feeling like shite

Double edged sword I guess
 
J said:
Right, but that's the problem--how do you know you can trust anyone? Time doesn't do anything. I had a friend who had a boyfriend for 6 years, and she ended up leaving him. Is there really even a point in being vulnerable to someone else? Wouldn't that leave you in an undesirable position of weakness?
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You don't know if you can trust anyone. That's why you have to be vulnerable enough to take off your turtle shell, and let them see you for what you are. And really, you won't know unless you try. That's all there is to it.

You get burned sometimes, and that's also a part of love. You can't stop it. If you keep your barrier's up all the time, then you don't trust them and you may be driving away something very special.
 
And if there are only a few people that you meet that are special enough, and the rest aren't, then aren't you more likely to get burned more before you end up finding someone special? I mean is it worth getting burned several times just for one person?

I guess that's a pointless question though. By the time you're in love, you'll feel it's worth it. From an outside perspective, it seems like a bad strategy. I don't think I want to lose my rationality just for a feeling like that.
 
J said:
And if there are only a few people that you meet that are special enough, and the rest aren't, then aren't you more likely to get burned more before you end up finding someone special? I mean is it worth getting burned several times just for one person?
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I think it is :hmmm:

J said:
I guess that's a pointless question though. By the time you're in love, you'll feel it's worth it. From an outside perspective, it seems like a bad strategy. I don't think I want to lose my rationality just for a feeling like that.
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You never know what's round the corner I say, someone or other might just surprise you one day :monster:
 
Pretty much as she's already stated. But ultimately, it's your choice to determine whether or not you think it's worth putting yourself in a vulnerable state to try find somebody, unknowing of how long it may take.
 
Well to respond to last few posters, to be honest most people try to hard when it comes to falling in love in the first place. I'm not saying this about their standards (even though I know all women and men have them), I'm saying.. well you know.. impressing blah de bleh and trying to act a certain way in order to maintain the aura/illusion about you.

Coming from a married guy.. yea yea.. but seriously. I have done my time in the dating game, and good god was a I fuck up at one time. I may come off as a chill, down to earth fella, but there were times I wondered why even bothered with the whole dating circuit.

Like I said before, the whole love thing.. well just make sure it's not infatuation. You will be disappointed eventually.
 
Shu said:
Well to respond to last few posters, to be honest most people try to hard when it comes to falling in love in the first place. I'm not saying this about their standards (even though I know all women and men have them), I'm saying.. well you know.. impressing blah de bleh and trying to act a certain way in order to maintain the aura/illusion about you.

Coming from a married guy.. yea yea.. but seriously. I have done my time in the dating game, and good god was a I fuck up at one time. I may come off as a chill, down to earth fella, but there were times I wondered why even bothered with the whole dating circuit.

Like I said before, the whole love thing.. well just make sure it's not infatuation. You will be disappointed eventually.
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Agreed.

I have a friend who absolutely drives me crazy because he always says that if his girlfriend ever became ugly or if her butt got smaller, that he would break up with her. <.< why she stays with him I do not know. I can see them having a very ugly break up/divorce in the future. Worst part is, she spends hours a day making her self up :( (And they have been together for 5 years) It also seems like the only interaction they have is sexual or watching movies, and watching movies isn't really interacting with someone. He often brags that they have sex 3 times a day. He claims that he is too busy to ever take her out. Yeah sex is a great part of the relationship, but you need more than that! She also works on the weekends and is in a soriety, so they rarely spend time together.

They claim to be in love, and maybe they really are, but it seems so superficial.

btw when did you get married Shu? I thought I saw that you recently mentioned that you were engaged? but congrats! (lol and sorry if it has been awhile)
 
Love is different things to different people. So yeah, depends on the person. Yeah, I believe there is such a thing as love. When I see old people whom have been together since the wars and are still lovey dovey, it makes my heart sing. I want to be loved for the rest of my life and I know I will be. Be it by family, friends or my soul mate.


Word of advice my uncle gave me and it worked for him:

Dont go looking for love, you'll never find it. Once you stop searching, it finds you.

Hes been happily married for 10 years now with 4 kids. So Im keeping that in mind.
 
Love is when a spiritual bond is found between you and another person (doesn't matter about gender), it's pretty hard to desrcibe that "special one" as everyone has different feelings towards love.

There was one thing I heard which maybe a myth but I kind of believe it "In your lifetime you will meet three soulmates".

Not that you can have three "special ones" but the theory would be if that soulmate you are connected with doesn't connect with you for any reason, then it could be time to move on (not that I would like them to seperate if kids are involved) and eventually...you shall meet another "special one".

It's pretty complicated stuff but love can be spontaneous too (such as food or movies or even games) but if you mean relationships then Love can come at anytime, and unexpectedly.

The best way to find love is by "not" finding it, it comes when you are ready and when you least expect it.

If it's "Love at first sight" then that's just a physical kind of love and something I don't really believe in (I've learned from this myself) as most of the time it doesn't work out and that love is more like a kind of "lust", which is a one time use kind of thing (not that people are objects or anything).

That's my view on love. It's definately there but it comes when you least expect it to.
 
Maybe it won't happen to some people, but I do believe it's out there somewhere if you have a hectic social life (not that you can meet people online too and "click").

It depends really on the scenario, if you have a job that doesn't involve social aspects with the opposite gender (or if someone was a homosexual the same sex) or have little time to go to a pub/bar and have to get up early to do the same things day in, day out it'd be quite hard to find love but, I think one way or another it can happen, no matter how long it takes...although people can give up entirely due to their age concerns and whatnot.
 
love is a real feeling, i hate it when i am feeling it, because it weaid. when you love someone, like the person is the only thing you think about and you get this weaid feeling in the stomouth, i am getting this at the mo it is soooo annorying >:(
 
the thing is, i may be 14, but I have a fucked up life as it is. I've matured way more than kids my age have at this point. And love and other emotions dont really come to me. How would you feel if you had a family that loved you, but you dont love them back, no matter how hard you want to. I'm close to being emotionally numb. I'm flat faced as well. I like being alone more than anything, nobody can change that.

I've been backstabbed by most of the people around me. I have one friend who hasn't even wanted to try. I dont get to see my extended family so much anymore and those are the only people who i can get along easily with. I dont see love, I dont feel love, I cant say i love anyone. Why do you guys assume of me? I'm a hell of a lot different than you could even imagine.
 
I think it's like this. Having friends is a stable condition. You can choose what level of trust you have with them. You don't feel particularly strongly about them one way or the other; they're people you like being around, but you won't feel as if you've given away half of your life to them. But having a romantic relationship teeters on the edge of dangerous. It might end up well, it might end up terribly. It's a huge risk, of which success isn't guaranteed (and are you even going to be happy with that kind of success?). So I don't believe it's wrong to think that love isn't something worth trying; from a rational perspective, it makes sense. So long as you realize why.
 
I'm sorry but you need to get a grip. I rarely see you do anything on here other than whine and complain. We've all had difficult times, we've all been backstabbed, but we don't let it make us who we are. If you do, it's your fault. Pull yourself together, stop complaining, and reshape yourself. That's all there is to it. Deal with it.
 
I'm not just talking about love as in dating btw, im talking about love in general.
and no, I dont think i will give it a try
I guess im neither bi, gay, or straight xD

sorry if i tend to be a little whiny, I've just been looking at this from different perspectives as well, and i get pissy when people get at me about my age, cause in my opinion age doesnt matter
 
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