Serious I have horrible luck with girls

[Eagle Kammback]

I'm 18, and I've only had one girlfriend, I met her a few weeks after I turned 18, I met her through an ad I put up on craigslist, (the weird thihng was, we were very alike, both had great taste in cars, she has a 79 El Camino she and her dad restored, and each of us had one of the same favorite Beatles songs, Blackbird), we broke up when she went to Florida. I've only gotten the nerve to ask one girl out, she drives a 427 Cobra replica, she said she would if she were single. THat put me back in my shell, I just have really low confidence I think. Anybody here know anything that can boost my confidence?

 

[Kakarot]

i had the same problem a few years back, best way i found was that even though i really dont think i can sing, i just started singing wherever and whenever the feeling struck me, now im as confident as i need to be round lasses, try it i aint sayin it'll work for you just giving you an idea

 

[Bambi]

You have had ONE knock back and a failed relationship. Welcome to life pal. Ive had SEVERAL failed relationships - some for reasons Id rather not go into, others for just simply not being in love with them either anymore or knowing I never will. There have been guys that have not liked me back and guys that have liked me too much that are borderline stalker

I wouldnt consider it bad luck mate, it's just the way it works - you know yuo have bad luck with the opposite sex when you rack up MY amount of disasters. I'm almost 26 and am finally in a relationship Im happy with, although who knows how it will pan out in the long run, half the fun is finding out.

Dont let it get you down because one or 2 things havent gone the way you wanted

 

[Kivist]

I had fail at getting into relationships with two guys that I liked. I am not going to go into detail on what happened with them either. It can be painful when things don't work out the way you want them to but it's a life lesson for everyone. I am sure you'll find that special someone if you just keep trying. Patience is the key to finding happiness even if it takes you months to find that special person but when you do, you will know that it paid off in the end because of that very reason.

 

[Rey]

Hmmmm girls um I had 2 that I think liked me but I do not really care much anymore. I did not even like them its them who kept staring at me so I said listen I do not like you 2. Then they just gave up. Girls in my school are mostly ugly!!!

 

[DKnight]

here is what you do. you don't worry about asking girls out. at least not for a while. I myself have only had one real girlfriend. the others were just short flings. butin all honesty all you really should do is become good friends with more girls. if you think a girl is cute don't think about asking her out. just sort of start small conversation. which is especially easy if you share a class or go to work with said girl. later on if you really like the girl ask her to just come and hang out sopmetimes with a group of friends. by then you will probably know a lot about each other and may be ready to ask them out. Anything after a first date will be up to you to find out. cuz that is where I sort of start to back away.

 

[Donald Trump]

It's all about perspective and attitude. I've had quite a few relationships that haven't worked out, however I view them differently from you. You viewed yours as a disaster, something terrible, like a shipwreck. Whereas you should be thinking, that was fun, I want to do that again.
You seem to lack the confidence to ask girls out, that normally means you don't have much confidence in most areas. So do something to boost your confidence, it may just be small things like getting a hair cut or buying some nice clothes, you have to start small. If you feel that you look good, you should grow in confidence.

 

[Gabranth]

First things first, you need to look good like Placebo has stated; splash o' brew, decent haircut, leather jacket/hoody, shades, etc, then hit the nightclub. If your confidence is low, get tipsy first, then try a for a few girls. If your friends have any parties going on, that's a one-way ticket for starting relationships with girls.

 

[Prince Oberyn Martel]

It's all about the confidence apparently, and I'd have to agree. My love life used to be always either non-existent or very lame and disastrous....it still is mostly but at least I get alot more interest nowadays since I got a job and got into things that have boosted my confidence.

Getting slightly tipsy also works, but don't over do it. Girls don't like raging drunks unless they are actually looking for one (and you should stay away from that sorta lass as a general rule....at least for now ). Also if your drunk, you may be confident at first but when you starting to get somewhere and your nerves catch you up at the wrong moment it can get VERY disasterous.

 

[Blitz]

i had the same problem a few years back, best way i found was that even though i really dont think i can sing, i just started singing wherever and whenever the feeling struck me, now im as confident as i need to be round lasses, try it i aint sayin it'll work for you just giving you an idea

That exact thing really brought my brother out of his shell. He use to be such a shy guy. Even as little kids my folks said he would whisper to me what he wanted to say and Id say it. He is about 2 years younger than me. But yeah, one day he started sitting at the computer with Lyrics to songs and closed doors and started singing, soon he did it with the doors open, next thing you know he is always singing, and his confidence level grew.

And now he is married and I am not. Id better start singing HAHA!

 

[Eagle Kammback]

Well, I have a Leather Jacket, and wear it all the time, I love Leather Jackets, I also wear leather driving gloves, great on those ice cold mornings.
I got up the nerve to ask another girl out, she is single, and is a nice girl, but said maybe, and avoids me every time I see her now.
I've tried every haircut besides an afro now, I just think girls don't seem to like nice guys at my school

 

[DKnight]

first ditch the gloves, and if the jacket is black stop wearing it. you'll seem more like you are closed off than an open confident person. and also like i said before don't ask the girl out right away. always make friends first. be patient. if you take a girl out on a date before actually creating some sort of relationship with them, it is bound to end fairly early.

 

[Big Casino]

I think you should forget about trying to get a gf for now and focus on getting your confidence up, go and do things youve always wanted to do. If your out, start conversations with people, gets you in the habit being sociable, talk to girls more, you dont have to ask them out just speak to them.

 

[Yvanna]

Eighteen is young! You've had a girlfriend, and it didn't work out, but who cares? Barely anyone stays with their first girlfriend. You have loads of time to go lady shopping! Don't be in any rush - you might look desperate o_o, and these things happen naturally anyway (cliché I know, sorry ¬_¬).

 

[Shu]

Not sure the point of posting in an archaic post like this, but if you're still wanting a bit of advice I can always throw some your way.

I'm no ladies man, nor have I ever pretended to be, in fact when I was 16-18 I had an unhealthy case of social anxiety. So moving past my first few relationships was a tad kick in the arse.

Let me tell you something.. women in general are a blessing to us men. They do everything we can not. In return all they hope for you to be is loyal, a shoulder to rest their head on, and surprise them with something every now and again to know you care about them. (don't do this on a daily basis or it will never be a surprise and it will lose it's value) Some women have hidden agendas, just be careful, the looks (as in what they wear) can give it away.

Being afraid of women, is like hitting yourself in the head with a bricko block. To be honest they are the ones afraid, and you are the one who can edge them out of their insecurities. If you fall in love and you know she's digging you.. well put it out there. It's all or nothing past a certain point.. and you both gotta be committed.

Don't actively pursue the person you like or have an interest in, but see what signs she gives off. Actively pursueing someone is like an act of stalking. Never a good first thing to do.

Also the last bit of advice.. always be honest if you are looking for a long lasting relationship.. that is the best bit of advice I can give someone. Without the honesty bit.. and I do mean even the smallest lies.. can shatter a relationship, this can go both ways. If you lost your job.. be up front.. if you work at McDonalds making 5.20 an hour.. tell her the truth.. don't hurt the poor girl.

For short term.. your on your own bud, never dabbled in the man whore art quite yet.

 

[whitewings]

all in all, i can only agree with shu.
man, if you're interested in a long term relationship, just stick to what he told you and i'm pretty sure, you'll be fine!

but i have to disagree with:

In return all they hope for you to be is loyal, a shoulder to rest their head on, and surprise them with something every now and again to know you care about them.

that sounds far too easy, at least to my ears.
now, i don't claim this to apply to any woman in general, but no matter how sweet such behaviour may be, it just isn't nearly enough if you plan on sharing your whole life with your female partner.
of course, these are exactly the basic conditions to make it work out. nevertheless, it's the invisible bond you two should have, that sort of understanding each other's thoughts, troubles and joys only by eye contact that makes the difference. the problem is, there is no guideline to follow to create such a deep bond.
so i say, sometimes, you just have to listen to the advice your inner self is giving you. try to become friends with the girl you like, afterwards, everything could happen

 

[Dionysos]

I'm 18, and I've only had one girlfriend, I met her a few weeks after I turned 18, I met her through an ad I put up on craigslist, (the weird thihng was, we were very alike, both had great taste in cars, she has a 79 El Camino she and her dad restored, and each of us had one of the same favorite Beatles songs, Blackbird), we broke up when she went to Florida. I've only gotten the nerve to ask one girl out, she drives a 427 Cobra replica, she said she would if she were single. THat put me back in my shell, I just have really low confidence I think. Anybody here know anything that can boost my confidence?

If you're still 18, and you had a girlfriend at 18, then the fact that you've had one recently should give you enough confidence that you may get another one day in the future.
Now I don't know what craigslist is... An online dating ad place?
But anyway, as people have said it is all in confidence, try to believe in yourself, be yourself etc... The fact that one girl said she would go out wih you if she was single shows that you are at least noticed, so I wouldn't worry too much.

But, of course, I'm not qualified to give real advice. I also have only had one girlfriend in my life... In First School! . So I epic fail at this stuff really, and I'm 19, and coming on 20 in a few days!

But if the greatest key to anything in life had to be labeled, I'd place the label of confidence on it. Confidence is the key to everything in this world. If you have an active social life, talk more-or-less fine with people in real life, then I wouldn't worry too much, life will unfold. If you don't, find it hard to talk to anyone, don't know what to say etc, then you have much more of a problem, but nothing is impossible to overcome. It just needs inner strength and will power (and a lot of background help!).

If it's just girls, and not just general confidence, then honestly, do not sweat it. Things come to the right people eventually. I know its depressing when girls seem to get hooked up really early on (all the years girls during college / sixth form years seem to get hooked up with older boyfriends etc) and only the cool and confident boys, and a few lucky quieter ones will manage to get girlfriends.

But never give up on hope, it DOES happen to some people. Just don't try and force it. Like people in this thread have said, it probably isn't the best approach to ask them openly before getting to know them better, or before knowing whether they like you a lot.