Serious How can I find myself?

SapphireStar

SapphireStar

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K, well been single for 2 months and unemployed for a month. And I hate it. My best friend said I need to find myself now whilst Im single. But I dont know how Im meant to. The longest Ive been single was 6 months and I was at uni at that time, ahd a job and lots of friends. So I had something to occupy myself with.

But now, daytime TV, XBox 360 and internet are wearing their toll on me. I hate being lonely and do miss having someone who texts me all the time and say "I love you" etc.

But the whole finding myself ... what the heck am I meant to do? I dont know where Im meant to start. Finding myself sounds ... well scary and a waste of time. I dont like myself, theres nothing I like about myself.


So, has anyone else ever felt like this? And how does one find themselves?
 
Well, seeing as though you have time now, you can experiment with different things. Maybe find some kind of hobby you really like or you're really good at. I don't know what your interests are or anything like that, so maybe if you figure out what they are, you could try to put those interests to good use.

As far as finding you? Well, you know you and I think at this point in life you've established who you are. I think the quiet time is good to help gather your thoughts, but as far as trying to essentially change yourself, I don't see how that would be a good thing. If you're comfortable with who you are, then why change that? If you're not, then you could always try and figure out what makes you happy. After all, the goal in life is to be happy. :ryan:
 
Hm... Spend time with yourself, basically.

Go see a funny movie by yourself, drag yourself to a restaurant, sit down. Think about yourself, what do you like, what do you want to do. I know that burrying yourself in games, and computers takes the stress and even pain away for a while, but like you said, it wears out. Fast.

Have a night in with the guys/girls, your friends of course, watch some movies, talk about stupid things. Think about what you want later on, and start working towards that.

Heh, I'm a heavy thinker myself, so this might be a hypocritical thing to say. But take it from a good band with great lyrics then...

You can't keep living in the moment, that's already passed. Find things you enjoy doing, besides games, and computers. Listen to songs that make you feel better, that might motivate you even.

Hope everything works out for you.
 
I think you should have fun with it. It's great opportunity for you to go out and explore new things.
I started muay thai boxing lessons for example and I met loads of new people and made some good friends along the way. I've also found out that I really enjoy it as well, I'm getting fitter and it's cool to have something I can dedicate myself to other than just uni.
I never knew that side of me before and the only way I did was to put myself out there. Life has a lot to offer and I think that's what people mean when they say 'find yourself'.

Taking the first step is pretty hard, but you'll be glad you took it :)
 
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Last time I quote.. "Found myself" I literally lost 35 lbs and listened to ungodly amount of music while performing my daily duties.

You honestly just need to find a center in yourself. Something that no matter what happens you can always confide in yourself. People will always suck, I hate to say it. There might be one person out there for you, but putting the hopeless romantic side, it might not be today or tomorrow you will find them. And when you do find them, I would hope you would have your shiznit together.

That is the problem with most guys/girls being emotional about their problems. If they look to others for salvation, they end up falling short or if they are helped then it is like they are enabled. When I date someone and I know that they don't have their "own thing" .. I think it is bound to fail.

Why? Because the opposite sex (women) are never knowing what the heck they truly want. If they are hard working and life, that is a complete turn on.. not someone who listens to whiny music and does nothing about himself/herself. That's why people say.. Find yourself.

Go out... run .. listen to music.. experience life a bit. You don't have to have money to do everything, trust me.
 
SapphireStar said:
K, well been single for 2 months and unemployed for a month. And I hate it. My best friend said I need to find myself now whilst Im single. But I dont know how Im meant to. The longest Ive been single was 6 months and I was at uni at that time, ahd a job and lots of friends. So I had something to occupy myself with.

But now, daytime TV, XBox 360 and internet are wearing their toll on me. I hate being lonely and do miss having someone who texts me all the time and say "I love you" etc.

But the whole finding myself ... what the heck am I meant to do? I dont know where Im meant to start. Finding myself sounds ... well scary and a waste of time. I dont like myself, theres nothing I like about myself.


So, has anyone else ever felt like this? And how does one find themselves?
Click to expand...

Well I'd love to help and offer some advise, but your statement is a little too vague for me to do so.

What did you study at uni?
What other hobbies do you enjoy?
What have you yet to experience? ie go to Cornwall, shave your head.

Generic personal information, a little more to the eye...but nothing too intrusive :)

Other than that, for blunt advise I'd say try moving. Maybe somewhere in the same town/city or somewhere new? I moved to Brighton recently and it really helped me 'find me'!

:)
 
It's difficult to tell someone how to find themselves. Everyone has their own method. I like to think I've found myself over the course of my years in the teens, but i can't be entirely sure. I istened to alot of different music that i normaly didn't listen to. Now i listen to some of it on a daily basis. The people i surrounded myself around also shaped my perspective, but i also keep original ideas afloat as to not be entirely influenced. I'm not sure if any of this will help seeing as how im 18 and your 24, but I'd like to think so.
 
I've felt like that in my four months of summer. I'd finished college and the only reason I had for living (exaggerating here) was work at the weekends. But no, I sat myself down and got loads of writing done. Enjoy the time to yourself, I say! It's not often you get that you time, anyway, is it?
 
Make new friends. Through meeting people, you'll start to experience new things. By finding yourself, you mean the happy and balanced 'you', is that right? I went through the same thing. While trying to find 'me', I noticed the problem was that the friends I had then knew all about everything that's happened, and that wasn't something that was helping me move on.

In any case, try to get your social life back. Go to a few parties. Find your talents and go to workshops. Go out dancing. Join in an organization.

It's amazing how much hanging out with people and talking and laughing can help you find your center again. ^^
 
Sometimes I think people end up trying too hard to search for the one truth to themselves and assume they'll never find out "who they are" when happen to be in a not so ideal situation. It's then when I would say to them "stop trying so hard". These things don't normally come about when you're doing your damnedest to find them; at least, not in my opinion. I'm almost 24 years old and I'm scared out of my mind at times for what the future will bring, but I also realize that I can't really do much about it.

I don't necessarily question who I am, but instead, the choices that I make. I'm like one big ball of learning and surprises and it's really very interesting not to know. I'd much rather die still learning things about myself than to know all of the answers. Where's the fun in that? People are very multifaceted. We are complex creatures of various aspects and sometimes it seems as though there's no end to it.

What I guess I'm trying to say is it's not bad to live in the moment. Yeah, dumpy situations like yours may not be the greatest, but I wouldn't necessarily go and blame it on yourself as a person. These things happen, to all of us. In fact, I'd say attempting to 'find' yourself really IS a waste of time. Just be a little more lenient and not so expectant, especially at your age. You're only 24, you're young, you've got a potentially long life ahead of you. Do what feels right, but don't think that questioning it is a bad thing. It's not. Just don't take it too seriously (when you don't really need to).
 
There are plenty of things you can do. But probably the best advice I can give is to try out a new hobby, learn new things, meet new people, go new places etc.. I'd suggest getting outside more. Games and daytime TV are great (...well at least the former is) but you will get nowhere being cooped up inside all day. As an alternative to games and TV, I'd suggest reading if you don't read much, something to get you actively thinking is a good idea.

You were the one who made that thread a few months ago about going to Australia right? Is that option still available to you? At the risk of shamelessly promoting my country, I'd strongly suggest you come here or at least try to go on a holiday of some sort. Holidays are really the ideal opportunity to explore new things and will ultimately be beneficial to finding yourself in the long run.
 
I do read quite abit. As dumb as this sounds, I cant get peace and quiet in my house. Because I live with my grandparents, the grandkids are always round shouting and screaming and my grandparents do the same cause theyre both almost deaf! I try and sit outside in the garden, but then I get moaned at by my granddad cause Ive left my gran on her own inside! I cant win.

Yeah I was hoping to go to Austrilia to see my dad. It was planned he would pay for the flights and I just had to give a date. Unfortunately, my stepmum has found out about this trip and my dad wont talk to me about it anymore. So if I wanted to go, I would have to pay with my own money, which is £100! Thats all I have to my name.

I just keep getting fed up and feeling down alot lately, due to confusion with my ex and not having a job anymore. Its annoying I dont know what I want to do in life. I read through my old high school notes and at some point I wanted to do animation. When I think about it now, I dont. My skills as a writer are naff, so my passion for writing has suffered greatly. I think its due to my break up and redudance, Ive lost my goal and passion for anything. Im scare Im depressed.
 
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