[Birthweek 2016] Assassinate Andre the Adamantoise!
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The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles all laugh at Andre's wonky looking shell.
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I hadn't forgotten about this... I was just both busy and had to deal with A LOT of attacks on Andre! I mean, guys! You nearly finished him off in round 2!
Turn 2.
Andre is run over by a stampede of Chocobos! = -4
Andre is pegged in the eye by a Dodo. = -3
A gust of wind begins to blow off Andre's hat revealing a very embarrassing bald spot, he tries to hide it and is shamed. = -4
Andre goes on a date with Dionysos... it doesn't go well = -3
Andre takes an Arrow to the knee. = -2
Andre is attacked by a mob of emus = -2
Jeremy Clarkson is refusing to brake. His expensive sports car hurtles at Andre at I dunno, 200mph and collides with Andre, making him the third deadliest road hazard after the Chocobos and the emus. = -2
Andre is attacked by a random ninja and gets a shuriken in the eye. = -2
Andre debates Trump and his supporters show up.... It doesn't end well. = -1
Andre is flashed by Louis Walsh in a hula skirt = -5
Andre is horned by a King Behemoth. = -5
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles all laugh at Andre's wonky looking shell. = -1
Total HP = 3!
-
Healing dice:
5+3 = 8
Andre recovers 8 HP!
Current HP = 11!
You may now request your next (likely last) moves!
Turn 2.
Andre is run over by a stampede of Chocobos! = -4
Andre is pegged in the eye by a Dodo. = -3
A gust of wind begins to blow off Andre's hat revealing a very embarrassing bald spot, he tries to hide it and is shamed. = -4
Andre goes on a date with Dionysos... it doesn't go well = -3
Andre takes an Arrow to the knee. = -2
Andre is attacked by a mob of emus = -2
Jeremy Clarkson is refusing to brake. His expensive sports car hurtles at Andre at I dunno, 200mph and collides with Andre, making him the third deadliest road hazard after the Chocobos and the emus. = -2
Andre is attacked by a random ninja and gets a shuriken in the eye. = -2
Andre debates Trump and his supporters show up.... It doesn't end well. = -1
Andre is flashed by Louis Walsh in a hula skirt = -5
Andre is horned by a King Behemoth. = -5
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles all laugh at Andre's wonky looking shell. = -1
Total HP = 3!
-
Healing dice:
5+3 = 8
Andre recovers 8 HP!
Current HP = 11!
You may now request your next (likely last) moves!
Andre gets attacked by a stampede of chocobos from a chocobo crossing intersection because he doesn't look that just happen to be part of the New York chocobo mafia.
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I find it hilarious how Greeny's attack did the most damage. 
Andre gets french kissed by Mortimer the Malboror.
Andre gets french kissed by Mortimer the Malboror.
An angry football fan attending one of the matches of this year's Euros in France mistakes our giant bipedal tortoise for an England fan and proceeds to attack him while slurring drunkenly in Russian.
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...and just in case that doesn't send him to the morgue, poor André is abducted by a certain once-upon-a-time Twilight fanfiction writer who is quite enamoured with the different shades of grey in his skin....all 50 of them.
NeroTrinityX
NANI?!
Andre is turned into the Final Aeon to defeat Sin, but Hillary Clinton tries to delete him along with 30k other things.
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Sorry this took a while to announce but the Treasure Hunt game needed my attention too!
Turn 3 – END
Poor Andre the Adamantoise didn’t stand a chance!
Andre is kissed rather seductively by a Jynx, unbeknownst to Andre's wife. = - 1
Andre gets attacked by a stampede of chocobos from a chocobo crossing intersection because he doesn't look that just happen to be part of the New York chocobo mafia. = – 3
Andre gets french kissed by Mortimer the Malbororo. = - 3
But now… The attack that killed Andre the Adamantoise:
An angry football fan attending one of the matches of this year's Euros in France mistakes our giant bipedal tortoise for an England fan and proceeds to attack him while slurring drunkenly in Russian. = – 6
Total HP = 0
Andre the Adamantoise is DEAD. The ‘football hooligan’ poses with his trophy.
1st place - 50 Gil - 5 BWP = Linnaete
2nd place – 40 Gil - 3 BWP = Rich Uncle Pennybags
3rd place – 30 Gil - 2 BWP = soulcorruptor
I also said that the person who deals the most damage to Andre over the course of the game shall get an extra award. After working this out it turns out that soulcorruptor dealt the most damage! He shall gain 4 BWP.
Here is the list of damage dealt:
Soulcorruptor = 13
Lunafreya Nox Fleuret = 11
Linnaete = 10
Rich Uncle Pennybags = 8
Cabbage = 7
Shace paisa = 6
Hayabusa = 6
Ross = 6
AuronX = 5
Six = 4
Galadin = 3
NeroTrinityX = 2
All participants also gain 1BWP and 25 Gil for participation. Galadín NeroTrinityX Six AuronX Ross Hayabusa Cabbage Lunafreya Nox Fleuret
-
I want to thank everyone who participated. I know it wasn't as eventful as the monster slaying competitions of previous years, so I appreciate your patience and hope you understand!
Feel free to mourn (or gloat) the passing of Andre here as this thread shall now become a memorial to the dead pirate.
Turn 3 – END
Poor Andre the Adamantoise didn’t stand a chance!
Andre is kissed rather seductively by a Jynx, unbeknownst to Andre's wife. = - 1
Andre gets attacked by a stampede of chocobos from a chocobo crossing intersection because he doesn't look that just happen to be part of the New York chocobo mafia. = – 3
Andre gets french kissed by Mortimer the Malbororo. = - 3
But now… The attack that killed Andre the Adamantoise:
An angry football fan attending one of the matches of this year's Euros in France mistakes our giant bipedal tortoise for an England fan and proceeds to attack him while slurring drunkenly in Russian. = – 6
Total HP = 0
Andre the Adamantoise is DEAD. The ‘football hooligan’ poses with his trophy.
1st place - 50 Gil - 5 BWP = Linnaete
2nd place – 40 Gil - 3 BWP = Rich Uncle Pennybags
3rd place – 30 Gil - 2 BWP = soulcorruptor
I also said that the person who deals the most damage to Andre over the course of the game shall get an extra award. After working this out it turns out that soulcorruptor dealt the most damage! He shall gain 4 BWP.
Here is the list of damage dealt:
Soulcorruptor = 13
Lunafreya Nox Fleuret = 11
Linnaete = 10
Rich Uncle Pennybags = 8
Cabbage = 7
Shace paisa = 6
Hayabusa = 6
Ross = 6
AuronX = 5
Six = 4
Galadin = 3
NeroTrinityX = 2
All participants also gain 1BWP and 25 Gil for participation. Galadín NeroTrinityX Six AuronX Ross Hayabusa Cabbage Lunafreya Nox Fleuret
-
I want to thank everyone who participated. I know it wasn't as eventful as the monster slaying competitions of previous years, so I appreciate your patience and hope you understand!
Feel free to mourn (or gloat) the passing of Andre here as this thread shall now become a memorial to the dead pirate.
Hey Dan not sure if you noticed but something seemed odd about the spots for the placings of slaying Andre. Al shouldn't be in there it should be 1.Liv, 2.me, 3. Greens, in the post between mine and Liv's Al just commented on Greens last attacks and how it did the most damage. He didn't make one himself, not sure if ya noticed with how tired you may have been in updating this.
Fare thee well, giant reptile with a shell,
you raped, plundered, and razed Timmy the Turtle villages,
there will be a special place for you in hell
where you can look back on all the pillages.
you raped, plundered, and razed Timmy the Turtle villages,
there will be a special place for you in hell
where you can look back on all the pillages.
Is this will he is constantly getting bit my Timmy the Turtles in hell as well and can't do anything about it?
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Al did make a comment about Greeny's post, but he followed it in the same post with 'Andre gets french kissed by Mortimer the Malboror.'
I interpreted that as a move by Al as it looked like one to me.
Ahh I didn't notice it get done in a drawing why I said something, sorry then.
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It's hard to see as it is in the big image with all of the chocobos, but Mortimer is there French kissing Andre in the middle. Their lips are together, etc, and there is saliva drooling out. That's the best I could do for that as their mouths are very different sizes and they aren't very compatible romantically speaking!
Ahh actually saw the Malboro thought it was in there for extra bit, just didn't notice that 3 damage line below the stampede. This is what I get for checking this one of the first things in the morning.