Serious Women and Men friends (?)

Interesting responses, guys. I'm looking at it on both sides and I'm going to have to say that I'm somewhat in the middle on this.

But first, from my own experience and what I see around me, friendship does exist between the two sexes. I guess it's easier for me to understand this because of the fact that my husband and I hang out with the same crowd since we were in high school. I kid you not, we are pretty much like family, not just friends we hang out with from time to time. Our siblings/parents know them and their siblings/parents, vice versa - I mean you could really see the close-connection there. My husband is friends with the females as I am with them, and true friendship exists there. I am friends with the males and I view them as I would my own brother, no matter how cliche that sounds. Of course, not everyone finds or experience this unique relationship but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Now, taking Kandy's example here:
Kandy-Sugar said:
I mean I would be really offended if Steve came home and told me that he was going out somewhere awesome with another girl. <_<

First of all why didn't he invite me before this girl?

Also even if I pretended that it was okay, obviously it isn't, because what normal girlfriend is okay with their boyfriend hanging out with another girl doing fun things which they should be doing with me?
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This I can also understand. Not because I'm the jealous type or whatever, but because it would be very awkward and weird to see my husband hang out with my best friend alone. Not that I don't trust him or her - I do. But it does raise questions as to why I wasn't invited, period. You can't simply take that out of the equation. Of course, this scenario has never happened before, so...I can't really get a full grasp as to 'why' they would actually want to hang out by themselves one of these days. It just wouldn't make sense to me. Now if we were all going out as a group, there'd be no problems.

So yeah, even when there's true friendship between the two sex, there will always be limitations as well.

Same applies to the online world. I'm friends with quite a few of the male members here. We all see each other in a respectable manner or just someone to vent to or tell funny and sad stories. No harm in that. And it's not like I have to constantly watch how our conversation is going and me thinking every single minute, "Is this safe? Did that come across as intimate? Uh oh, did he get the wrong idea? Okay, cleared. Phew." If that was the case, then there might be a little problem there. But no, I'm able to genuinely just let go and really have fun with my friends here, males or females.



 
I hope I didn't sound as though I wasn't okay with the whole girls and guys being friends thing and that it doesn't work. >_<

I'm all for hanging out with the opposite sex and such, as most of my group is guys, mainly due to them being Steve's mates and the ones that were my friends before Steve's I've been hanging out with for years.

It's just that from my own experience, guys are better friends and remain friends when you're with a bunch of people at the same time.

I just prefer that we all hang out together rather than going off alone with another guy or girl.

I just wanted to clear that up. XD
 
Well which brings another issue though. Now I have dated a view girls in my day, and I've only had one rough fall out or break up per se, but believe me when I say it I don't like being on a collar and leash.

The point of this is I have remained distant friends with some, and really close friends with one or two. Now if say I were to hang out with one of them.. well I know for sure my relationship/marriage would be in the gutter. Now that really sucks in my opinion because these one or two friends I really rely on for spiritual guidance every now and again. Even sometimes when we haven't talked in maybe a year, we always come back to eachother and update each other on our lives and such. I would never... NEVER see them as more these days, even if they are two of the most beautiful girls I have met. A big hug is all that would be warranted. It's because of looks.. and I'm not a bad looking fella, and any relationship I've been in the lady has always had insecurities out the arse, but to me I guess that is okay.. since I commit fully to my relationships.

I mean in reality, I wouldn't mind spending time alone with these friends.. just to catch up on a bit more stuff.. because hell, my girl doesn't know these people. All she sees them as is ho's trying to encroach on her man. Why? because they are "smokin hot", but hell so is she! Like I said.. I would rather make a deal with the insecurities.. then to jeopardize what I got.

I think guys can be friends with girls... but when you are in a relationship, there are always limitations. As Kandi puts it, I believe they are sacrifices to commit to more of a serious relationship. It gives the person you are with a piece of mind.
 
I can be friends with men, but they don't usually want to be just friends with me.

Mehscooz the hell outta me.

Woman: I can't be friends with women. They just want to fuck my husband."

Nalaar: I like being friends with men more than women. They are more apt to run on logic. For instance, some women think because one or two women fucked their husband either in his head or in the bed, that all men are the same. So if all women are the same, and so are men, why the fuck does anyone hang out with each other ever?

Nalaars "All Men Cliche' Creed:

I cannot say all men are the same because says right here on the calculator

1 lifetime
+ millions of men
I have not met all men to reach the sum proposed.

Its like one of those Irrelevant information" math problems in the 5th grade. Who the fuck cares if Carry was on a beer run, when we are trying to find out exactly how many beers are missing from the fridge?

Wait....:What:
 
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I have to say that I find having male friends to be... Difficult. And honestly, it might sound egocentric for me to explain that statement, but my general experience is that no matter how much I feel like I would like to be friends with a guy, at some point every single one of my guy friends has admitted to being attracted to me.

Now, that is not a problem as such. It's a natural thing between two people, especially if you keep spending time together, and I have male friends with whom we've worked past that stage (as far as I know). However, I am the kind of girl who finds it uncomfortable to be close with a guy if I know he's attracted to me and I don't feel the same way. Heck, sometimes when I DO feel the same way I still feel uncomfortable. It's the knowing, FEELING like you're being pursued, perhaps, that I don't like.

I think... In short, my opinion on it is that it can happen - but it's a state that often has to be worked towards by both parties.
 
I have to disagree. My best friend has a guy whom she sees as her best guy friend and they arent attracted to each other in the slightest. They have known each other for 2 years, Ive known him for longer and yet they are just really good mates. It can happen.
 
To be honest, I hang out with a lot of girls because it's just more comfortable for me. I guess it's because I was raised by women, and also went shopping and stuff with them when I was little because my dad worked a lot. I find that I relate more to them sometimes. I do have male friends too though.

But now to the honesty, I would say that I'm a little in love with all my female friends. Maybe it's because I'm a teenage boy, but I can never not think about being more than friends with them. It's odd, but I try to hide it most of the time.

I think it's possible to have friends of the opposite sex, but that's more based on your partner's attitude than your own. If they're okay with it you will, and if they're not, you won't.
 
Bambi said:
I've had loads of male friends, ever since I was a kid. I get on with lads better than women sometimes. I've always been abit of a tomboy, so I'd be doing all the lad things with the lads, fighting, climbing trees etc
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That has pretty much summed up my childhood. XD I was always the one hanging out with the boys, and I found it a lot more comfortable. Actually, my first friend was a boy, Andy, who is indeed my boyfriend right now, as well. XD We've been friends for around 14-15 years now, and well before I had any interest in him, I found the friendship very much comfortable.

However, speaking for myself, i can say that things between him and I changed once I started seeing him as more than just a friend. I've never been able to go back and see him as just a friend, and hopefully will never have to, given my circumstance. XD

But getting back to the main issue, I have to somewhat agree with the original idea. I haven't been able to keep a male friend in my mind as just a male friend, because, somehow, my mind likes to go there quite a bit. those of you who have read the thread where I had issues with my co-worker know this. I would like to have a male friend who I can see as just a friend, but the only one who's a close friend who I see as just a friend is Damon. I really don't have that many friends in real life anymore, so that part's a bit easier.

All in all, I'd have to agree with the main point to a certain extent. When the hormones kicked in for me, it all went downhill with the thoughts. XD Before then, I had male friends galore. :awesome:
 
Men and women can be just friends. There is nothing wrong with having hot fuggin friends either. However, jealousy is a factor that destroys friendships. You can't be friends with guys when there is some clingy bitch breathing down his t-shirt. I was at the bar the other night and I was talking to someone I was not attracted to and we were discussing uh...food...on TV....and his girlfriend entity had to have been exhaling scarlet smoke and pulsating with childhood insecurity watching me talk to him. She decided because she was a closet bi-curious saddened soul ...well...hell....since I was cute to her, bless god, then he must be trying to hit it. She walks up to me and says, " This is my husband and your conversation with him is over. "

And I thought...." I can think of something that was over years before I got here. He just hadn't found the courage to walk out the door yet. " This was the type of chick that would stroll out into the parking lot and a Berry up a pic of some random womans plates. Yeah, like bartenders do not call everyone...honey, baby, precious, hottie, dear....<-------the last one is not good for business, btw. Um...I was not wearing the greatest t-shirt a straight chick could wear. " I'm sick of being my wifes arm candy". I wear it sometimes but that night I wasn't. So there was no....prompt. Listen, son. If you got a bitch following you around, blowin up your cell, texting and texting and texting...and " Where have you been with who what all I heard was fuck." Please for god sakes note......she is more than likely the one cheating...If you are constantly accused of crap....you glanced twice, hugged, passed by, farted in someones general direction....LEAVE. And that right soon.

Yes you can just be friends with women. Yes you can just be friends with men. Me...I love hanging with guys because they don't talk about the following:

1. That $70 purse at the mall. << || [_] >> 3,478:69
Mescoozy, if you need something that goddamn big it only shows that you need accessories to heighten self-esteem...and a great deal of them. Must of which end up crumpled in the bottom and smeared on gum wrappers and the checkbook, the wallet and the patridge in the fuggin...finish the sentence.

2. The Nail Salon. Listen, if you don't want someone pushing your cuticles back until you bleed or filing your skin level with bone, then learn to do your own nails. I do. Go get the $7 acrylic kit from walmart...and stop dragging him to the salon. Bigg whiff gentlemen.

3. Jewelry. You do not need GOLD, SILVER....and goddamn...the foundations of the metaphorical mansions in heaven dangling from your person...every birthstone available. I like hematite and copper and marquasite. Which...can be found at a fuggin dollar store. Go to Hobby Lobby....

4. Who fucked who for the purpose of whatever. Who tried to fuck who....ok when guys talk about it, they speak usually do so with a shit eating grin. Unless you are talking about cheating and shit....don't sit and talk about people you claim to care about and spread their fuggin biz abroad...loudly...at the Olive Garden.

5. These things will help women learn to keep MEN friends as well.

6. TV series...OC.................................................Soap Operas....

Ok, yes. I'm cappin on chicks now. Blessed are the shallow. Depth they'll never find.

Yeaah...I cannot grasp the concept, of.." Oh, honey look at this closet." Says he. " My god it huge. "

*buys house/apt*

He never gets to utilize said closet. *sniff* All her shit is stocked piled in it, most of which never gets the tag clipped off it. She bitches because his shit "strang" all over the house. He has nowhere to put his shit! Now, here is where " Summer Breeze" by Seals and Croft begans to play in the male mind. Its not what you think, is it ladies? Doesn't cook....wants to nuke everything...why...so she has more time to shop. My cousin...this was one of her quotes was " We don't watch tv...why do I want my husband to look at some girl in a bikini selling a beer?" I nigh hung up the phone. Why wouldn't you? Ya know steeped in church media and set on wax paper to dry. Poor Matt. Anyway, where was I? Oh...bitch cappin.

Wrestle with your male friend, girls. Like...UFC style. Grapple...don't be scared...dainty...fragile...learn to take some pain...you are designed to have babies...jeeze. Never start a conversation with someone you might think is cool and want to hang with...with the sentence, " You know you remind me of someone..." Gee thanks I could have sworn I was a beautiful and unique snowflake.

Ya know what? This shit is getting too long. Fuckin tootles.

http://www.tagged.com/nalaar
 
easy, go up to a member of the opposite sex, any one, get to know them. if you share interests, experiences, and compatible personalities chances are you'll become friends. for straight/bi people, a friend of the opposite gender will always have the possibility of becoming a lover. that's normal.
 
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