Serious Relationship matter. A possibility?

Daw

Daw

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Hi guys and ladies,

I have a lady friend in uni who loves to hang out with me. We usually meet up like 2-3 times a week in class due to different subjects that we are taking for this current semester.

Recently, for the past 2 weeks to be precise, I notice she likes to have skinship with me without feeling uneasy (means to touch my arms, shoulders, or elbow to elbow when sitting side by side etc), scribbles on my notes, stares at me.

Yesterday a bunch of us (4 guys, 2 ladies, including me and her) went shopping. While I was choosing my new pair of shoes, She just leans her chest on my right arm and holds my arms. That's one. Another time was while we are walking, she holds my left arm with both her arms.

Okay. Now, she has a boyfriend. I have a sense of respect for both of them. I don't do anything stupid, snatching her away. I respect her as my friend. But all I want to know, is she really flirting? or is she just attracted to me like an iron to a magnet without herself realizing even though she has a boyfriend.

For all that I know (and my other friends knew) her boyfriend like to control her, and she became like quiet and stuff. When she hangs out with me, she shows herself bright and bubbly, and what I felt was, she shows herself natural whenever I was around.

She is pretty, I do feel good about her, and definitely she feels good about me too (if not skinship etc won't happen right?). But again, i respect her.

Is it a possibility that she likes me although she has a boyfriend at the moment?

Advices come.
 
Daw said:
Hi guys and ladies,

I have a lady friend in uni who loves to hang out with me. We usually meet up like 2-3 times a week in class due to different subjects that we are taking for this current semester.

Recently, for the past 2 weeks to be precise, I notice she likes to have skinship with me without feeling uneasy (means to touch my arms, shoulders, or elbow to elbow when sitting side by side etc), scribbles on my notes, stares at me.

Yesterday a bunch of us (4 guys, 2 ladies, including me and her) went shopping. While I was choosing my new pair of shoes, She just leans her chest on my right arm and holds my arms. That's one. Another time was while we are walking, she holds my left arm with both her arms.

Okay. Now, she has a boyfriend. I have a sense of respect for both of them. I don't do anything stupid, snatching her away. I respect her as my friend. But all I want to know, is she really flirting? or is she just attracted to me like an iron to a magnet without herself realizing even though she has a boyfriend.

For all that I know (and my other friends knew) her boyfriend like to control her, and she became like quiet and stuff. When she hangs out with me, she shows herself bright and bubbly, and what I felt was, she shows herself natural whenever I was around.

She is pretty, I do feel good about her, and definitely she feels good about me too (if not skinship etc won't happen right?). But again, i respect her.

Is it a possibility that she likes me although she has a boyfriend at the moment?

Advices come.
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Well one very far fetched possiblity is that she has derived the idea that you might be homosexual =P

Another is that she is struggling with her boyfriend and wants to ditch him for something new.

Another is that she just wants some casual sex on the side and is turning to you for that(cheating).

Another is that she is just a touchy feely person in general, try observing her more often not just around you.

I think those are most of the possibilities, if you respect the man as well than perhaps it would be a good idea to lay low from her because you can not be sure whats going on in her mind, and if you respect him then its the right thing to do.

Or if you feel confident(and want her) then try and talk with her about it, but be aware if you break them up you will probably have an enemy afterwards, and perhaps a not so fitting reputation among men.
 
I'm inclined to tell you that she is flirting with you, based on what you've said. And she's trying to see what you're going to do about it. There's always the chance of what Ambassador said also though. :hmmm:

Nevertheless, I think you should talk to her first, especially if it makes you uncomfortable. But then again you said 'I do feel good about her', so I'm assuming you like her also. As much as it may tempt you to respond to her flirting, I suggest not doing that yet. At least not until the issue of her having a boyfriend is settled.

If you talk and she denies it, then both of you can just resume being good friends. At least you don't go on wondering.
 
I don't know. All my female friends hold their male friends arms like that, all the time. Its not really flirting....friends can tough and do that without it meaning something sexual or anything. I wouldn't base anything on that alone.

For all that I know (and my other friends knew) her boyfriend like to control her, and she became like quiet and stuff. When she hangs out with me, she shows herself bright and bubbly, and what I felt was, she shows herself natural whenever I was around.
Click to expand...
Now this is an action that definitely seems like it means something. If she can act like herself around you and not around her boyfriend, something is wrong.

The best you can do is to just ask her about it all and see what happens.
 
This is more suitable in Temple of the Ancients, so I'll move it there for you. ;)

[Thread Moved]
 
Sounds like she is being quite flirty with you; I don't buy that girls are naturally touchy with guys they're friends with.

It could be the case that she's keeping you close and interested as a possible fall back for her current boyfriend - just in case she leaves him or vice verca.
Or it could be that she just feels so comfortable around you that she feels incredibly comfortable grabbing your arm etc...

Either way, I think you should maybe see how she acts over the next couple of weeks. If she keeps it up, maybe think about mentioning something. If your friendship is so strong, a question like that shouldn't cause a problem, right?

Good luck ;)
 
It's possible, but I don't know how women think. Some friends of mine have flirted with other men while they had boyfriends, so that's possible too. Personally, I'd be wary of women like her.
 
Just by the fact that her boyfriend is controlling and she acts more like herself around you I'd say she likes you and wants to dump her boyfriend. But because he's controlling it's probably hard for her to try and do it without him (possibly) reacting badly.
 
Personally I doubt she is flirting with you that much, I find many women act this way around me and mean nothing by it. Some women are just like that I guess, flirtatious by nature. How does she act around other guys apart from you and the BF?

Maybe she does like you, but if she does then something more will naturally come about I think. Or maybe she fancies you in passing but not enough to leave her fella.
 
theres a pretty fine line between flirting with someone and sleeping with them

i personally wouldnt complain about it or worry about it too much. but if its really that uncomfortable, ask her to stop. if you just let her do it, you can't really bitch about it.

Well, you can - but you shouldn't expect anyone to really care about a problem you're having if you aren't taking any preventive measures against it.
 
Here's the deal.


Breaking up people (sorry, I couldn't think of a better term, this sounds too harsh):

Without knowing anyone involved, this is essentially a very bad idea. While people in general don't like to be vicious and manipulative, heres' how it is. If you break a (somewhat) functional relationship, there is absolutely no guarantee whatsoever, that somewhere in the near distant future you ***won't*** be the one getting tossed aside. This isn't really sociopathic behaviour as even the nicest person might do it, but this is something that should be considered. By putting yourself and the girl in a situation where she ditches someone for YOU, is simply behaviour which can be renewed at any given time. Next time if that happens, it'll be you in the wrong end of social bargaining.

I know this wasn't your question, but I'm sure it will cross your mind if this goes on.

In all honesty though (and easily said but not done), perhaps you should just ask about it?
 
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