Pessimist or Realist?

[Shu]

When you hear people give you their blunt opinion with no rainbows attached, what is your take on it? Are they being a realist or are they only being a downer and being a pessimist? What's the difference then?

The reason I ask this is because sometimes in life you have been thrown a curve ball or two and you hesitate. Instead of looking inward for answers you ask your peers about it, like we have here.

One gives the blunt brutal truth that you intend to want to dismiss, the other gives the optimistic up and our route. For instance, say you said you found love.

One asks.. "Are you sure it's not just infatuation?"

2nd says.. "That's awesome I'm sure it is!"

Some people find that first person as just being a pessimist, but truly what's the difference?

I'll respond later, just an opener.

 

[Martel]

I don't think that you can really call it pessimism or realism except for in hindsight. I mean, nobody can predict the future or view things with an absolute indifference, and what you might think is a realistic viewpoint may in fact turn out to be a pessimistic one, and vice versa. People give their assessments first, the labels come afterwards, when people are looking back on things.

In a way, I'd say everyone is optimistic - we all like to think that we can predict the future, or assess situations from a detached viewpoint. In my experience, life never works out how you plan it to, and I would say it was optimistic to expect it to, even if you are taking a viewpoint others would consider to be pessimistic.

I suppose the difference between pessimism and realism depends on two things: how close to your own opinion of the situation the other person's opinion is, and how you look at it afterwards when you have all the information.

 

[Shu]

I agree with this, but people get categorized, due to the fact some don't like to be told the complete opposite. The mere question came about because of someone's Temple of the Ancients post.

Most often times I'm giving honest wisdom from my own life. It might not actually spin out that way, but it most definitely has been put to a flame. It's hard hearing the constant optimism people spit to folks, due to being friends with them. You never want to hurt them, but you want to give them a heads up, and it's realism. Though they take it sometimes as instant pessimism sometimes due to the "hurt" that's involved.

For instance if a friend comes to me and gives me a scenario and then asks if his/her boyfriend/girlfriend might have cheated on them, it's hard.. but I am one of of those people that says.. "maybe" or "yes".

If I feel it's a bit of paranoia on his/her part, then of course I say no. I mean often times there isn't enough evidence to work on, so of course I give them the.. good word. Which might sound optimistic but honestly it's still realism.

The thing I don't get is why folks call realists, pessimists most often times than not. I think there is an obvious line between the two, but if you disagree.. please lay it on me.

 

[Squid]

Hrmm, see I like to think I am a realist, I don't sugar coat I tell people things as I see it and I seem to come off as a negative pessimist... or so people tell me.

I think I am doing the right thing by telling people the truth and they see me as being a pessimist. So I guess it depents on the person...and I feel the person getting the blunt answer is always going to see the other person as negative rather than a realist because no on wants or likes to hear the truth if its bad.
where as the person giving the answer just thinks they're being real and helpful.

I guess sometimes realists do have a hint of pessimism attached though.

(sorry for any spelling errors)

 

[Omega_Beast]

Hmm...Interesting subject, definitely catches my eye

Its fascinating to see a link created between being Realistic or Pessimistic. From your posts Shu, I can see the relevance. However, in my opinion, I believe realism is a grounded view made most from an evaluation of a current situation based on facts. Which I know seem like a gray area, especially if these scenarios involve feelings.

I see pessimism as a person deliberately putting someone down or just generally being negative about things. They generally dont put much thought in what they say and maybe on the off chance they will spill something which will sound like they're being realistic, but Ive never bought it when Ive experienced someone being 'pessimistic'

Im not sure...Maybe its subjective? Ive come across a LOT of negative people and other sorts who wont hesistate to make you feel like crap, and yes, even so called 'friends' But this whole post and my opinion on the two is completely relative to my life and what I have experienced in it. I see the two as being two separate viewpoints, but I know some people would disagree, which is obviously fine

P.S. I always thought it would be a much more associated link between Realism and Idealism, but I guess they are more like opposites compared to this comparison?

 

[Sum1sgruj]

There is definitely a fine line between realism and pessimism, but I feel they still have their definitive differences. The general perception of the viewer is the biggest factor, I think. Realists usually examine things with likeliness and probabilities whereas pessimists usually exclude certain things altogether.

 

[blakstang98]

I think the difference between pessimism and realism is simple. A realist focuses on all possibilities, positive or negative. And a pessimist only focuses on the negative. A realist is usually never labeled as a realist, but a pessismist or optimist depending on their response.

Now, a realist generally responses with the negative first, mainly because being aware of the negative is always more important. Focusing on the side-effects of taking an action is important, as you could step into some real shit that you may not necessarily be aware of. Whereas in contrast, if a positive effect happens that you didn't think of, then you've just been pleasantly surprised. But I do think that it's unhealthy to focus on negative effects only. Afterall, what would you have to look forward to if you just thought about the negatives and waited for them and them only to occur?

I'm a realist myself, as I just take a more common sense approach and don't analyze a situation too passionately. I basically make a mental list of good and bad and roll with that. If I can see that there are far more bad things than good, then I'll steer away from that idea. And usually when someone tells me something they'll do, I tend to give them the opposite effect to give them a counterpoint to think about, so they can make the right choice. Due to the overwhelming amount of pessimists these days, I tend to respond with positive effects. Because of that, I get labeled as an optimist more so than a pessimist. In my own head though, I always start with negatives first, and admittedly shy away from things that may have more positive effect overall. But I think using common sense and thinking realistically is always the much better way to go.

 

[coffeecup]

Well, from a purely definitional standpoint there's a clear line between the two. Realists look at things objectively while pessimists have a bit of a negative bias.

However, as a practical matter it's very difficult to actual label someone as a pessimist or realist because to be able to accurately funnel someone in one category or the other requires delving into parts of that person's mind and past that we have no real knowledge of.

For example, an actual realist might be seen as a pessimist if he had a difficult past that is reflected in his objective take in reality. He's still giving a rational view of the matter, but it's just skewed a bit more negatively due to his unfavorable background. (for a more concrete example, you ask a "silverspoon kid" about community safety vs. asking a kid in Compton about community safety. Even if they both give realist opinions both will greatly differ simply due to the nature of having different factors to consider in making a rational decision. The "silverspoon kid" will sound like an optimist to the average joe while the Compton kid will sound like a pessimist.)

I have no clue if that made sense. Basically to be able to distinguish a realist and pessimist requires understanding whether there is an inherent bias in someone's response. But this factor is almost impossible to ascertain in most people since it is a hidden part of someone's nature that the individual will not be aware of in the first place.

So to answer the question of whether there is a difference? Yes.
But as to whether you can tell if someone is a pessimist or a realist? Probably not, unless you generally have a close relationship with the person to the extent that you understand the essential nature of his response.

 

[Demon]

I think the difference between pessimism and realism is simple. A realist focuses on all possibilities, positive or negative. And a pessimist only focuses on the negative. A realist is usually never labeled as a realist, but a pessismist or optimist depending on their response.

Now, a realist generally responses with the negative first, mainly because being aware of the negative is always more important. Focusing on the side-effects of taking an action is important, as you could step into some real shit that you may not necessarily be aware of. Whereas in contrast, if a positive effect happens that you didn't think of, then you've just been pleasantly surprised.

Good answer. Nothing I could have said, could have topped this.

I suppose that at times, I fall between the realist and pessimist category. However, I know that I'm not a huge pessimist. How I know this is that I can look at some pessimists and think "well, I'm not as pessimistic as them". Of course, such a thing might be an illusion.

 

[Jquestionmark]

Well, everyone here pretty much seems to be of the same opinion: realists try to assess the situation as objectively and accurately as possible, where as an optimist or pessimist excludes information from their assessment.

The difference between the realist and the pessimist is entirely in the eye of the beholder. Generally, an optimist will think that a realist is a pessimist, simply because they bring negative possibilities into play that the optimist would have ignored. When you've looked at a situation and tried to assess it, the last thing you want to hear is an even worse outcome than what you've predicted.

Everyone likes to think of themselves as being realists, because they want their view to be the closest to reality. In the end, our estimations of what will happen (note: not our hopes or fears, but objective assessments) are based on our past experiences and observations. Unless we intentionally ignore possibilities or only play to our hopes/fears, we're all realists.

 

[blakstang98]

I totally forgot about this situation, but there is one time I would choose to be optimistic. If a loved one (as in someone close to you or a pet) of someone you are close to was having medical problems, then I take the optimistic route. If someone told me someone else (or a pet) was in bad condition and they were choked up and having bad thoughts that this might be their time of death, I take the optimistic route, even if I do believe that this may indeed be the end. It acts as more of a comforting technique, more than anything else. Most aren't going to want to hear you say "yeah, I don't think they're going to pull through." That's just cold in my opinion. So I just tell them that they're going to pull through and that'll at least comfort them for the time being. If they do pull through, the person rejoices and you look like you know what you're talking about, even if you don't. If they don't pull through, then it was just an effort to put a happy thought in their head, when even they had an idea that they would die. It shows some respect and compassion that way. The side-effect would be that the person put too much confidence in what you said and become angry because you gave them false information, but that's a pretty rare and extreme case.

 

[Jquestionmark]

I totally forgot about this situation, but there is one time I would choose to be optimistic. If a loved one (as in someone close to you or a pet) of someone you are close to was having medical problems, then I take the optimistic route. If someone told me someone else (or a pet) was in bad condition and they were choked up and having bad thoughts that this might be their time of death, I take the optimistic route, even if I do believe that this may indeed be the end. It acts as more of a comforting technique, more than anything else. Most aren't going to want to hear you say "yeah, I don't think they're going to pull through." That's just cold in my opinion. So I just tell them that they're going to pull through and that'll at least comfort them for the time being. If they do pull through, the person rejoices and you look like you know what you're talking about, even if you don't. If they don't pull through, then it was just an effort to put a happy thought in their head, when even they had an idea that they would die. It shows some respect and compassion that way. The side-effect would be that the person put too much confidence in what you said and become angry because you gave them false information, but that's a pretty rare and extreme case.

I don't know that I'd actually be optimistic about it (I'd still try to look at all the info), but I would certainly lie my ass off and say so (at least to the face of the person with the actual problem). One reason alone demands that I do: placebo effect. The science says that if people think they're going to get better, it's more likely they will. As good as real medicine? No. But combined with some solid medicine, hope can go a long way.

 

[Ohri-Jin]

Well IMO a pessimist is someone always negative or always looking at the bad side of things.
A realist that has solid arguments but is a bit negative or with sad outcomes doesnt make him/her a pessimist, cuz his arguments are simply the truth.

It depends on the individual and his/her facts/arguments.

Opinion is opinion and as we all know is most of the time BS./Everyone thinks they'r right even when they are not.

 

[Shaissa]

Well it's hard to sound like a realist when it comes to bad things, cause most of the time I think people will either try to find the good out of something or well ignore all the bad. I'm not saying all the time, but people wanna hear good things when there thinking about doing something rather than the bad. Thats all I'm saying.

 

[Aeris]

My favorite life saying is "hope for the best but expect the worst". There is being pessimistic and then realistic. In my own opinion when a person is pessimistic, they are basicly only stating everything that is going wrong. Being realistic, to me, is saying what can happen and perhaps suggesting a believable way to avoid it.