On a downer >>

[Bambi]

Do you ever find yourself thinking how the hell did I get where I am now? If someone told me afew years ago that this is how my life would have turned out I think I would have laughed in their faces

Iv consistently made some pretty poor life choices, Im happy enough but recently I find myself thinking wtf fuck have I achieved out of life so far?

Is there anything you would change given the choice?

 

[Prince Oberyn Martel]

What would I have changed? Pretty much everything to be honest.

But then if I did that then I wouldn't have the few good things I do have right now, such as my dear friend who I love to bits.

But only the future can be changed, it just needs that effort.

 

[Bambi]

I hate effort, I seem to have lost all motivation for life. Everything pretty much stinks atm

I need to get my arse in gear and find something productive to do with myself & the only thing that springs to mind atm is going to the shop

 

[Fusilli]

Well, I'm much too young to be able to relate to this right now, but I have thought about the future and I used to have lots of plans etc. By now though I've well realised that things don't always go to plan, and don't work out just because you want them to, so I guess I've just decided to roll with life and deal with things as they come to me. I know that I'm gonna have to make a lot of choices, and I'll probably regret a lot of them but as Moonchild said, only the future can be changed, so there wouldn't be much point dwelling on the past.

But anyway, I'll just have to wait and see. It's kinda exciting to think about where I'll be 10 or so years from now, but at the same time all of the responsibility and important life decisions are rather frightening. >.<

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

I can pin the entire way my life currently is on my choice to go back to VIth Form a couple of years ago. But I try to never regret any choice, and look om the bright side and what is to come.

 

[Soul Saver]

I am realising that I must act sooner rather than later. I'm at a turning point currently, and what I do now will affect my future for good or for worse. Think I'm going the right way...
Once you get past a certain point, it gets harder and harder to motivate yourself. That point is still a while off for me, but I must act NOW.
What exactly is your current situation, Bambi?

 

[Bambi]

Bleh. Im just talking life in general really. Its hacking me off
I'm more annoyed at myself because everything thats hacking me off at the minute I brought on myself
No job, no man, single parent shitting bills ninjaing me when Im not expecting it, can't drive & im FED UP & need to do something with myself befoe I turn into a crazy old cow with cats. Lots of them

Note: Im not always a miserable cow Im just having a bad day

 

[Saix]

I'd change my motivation towards just about everything. Lacking isn't the word.

It's made a huge impact on my life -being negligent of agendas- and I'm reaping the just rewards for doing so. Constant shit from my peers, constant shit from my family, constant shit from people who don't even know that much about me. There's nothing quite like hindsight, but I fucking hate it sometimes.

 

[Prince Oberyn Martel]

Bleh. Im just talking life in general really. Its hacking me off
I'm more annoyed at myself because everything thats hacking me off at the minute I brought on myself
No job, no man, single parent shitting bills ninjaing me when Im not expecting it, can't drive & im FED UP & need to do something with myself befoe I turn into a crazy old cow with cats. Lots of them

Note: Im not always a miserable cow Im just having a bad day

I'm kinda the same, only with out a liddle one. My plan was to be in Uni right now but every things gone to shit, now I can't get a full time job atm because there is literally nowhere near, I can't drive so can't look for work further afield, hardly any good qualifications, still living with parents who are literally bringing me down further, my friends have fucked off so can't spend time with them, and no pissin girl wants me right now (not that im clearly in a situation to have a relationship anyways lol).

When it all comes down to it is all my fault. But whats even more annoying is that even though I am trying to sort things out everything I do doesn't seem to work or is alot of hassle.

 

[Miss Valentine]

This all sounds very familiar....

When I finally got the guts to leave my ex (I hit rock bottom with him, and he was abusing me and I didn't even know it) when I fell pregnant, I didn't know where I was going either. Everyone thought I was insane for keeping the baby, knowing I was gonna raise him alone. I had a lot of the feeling you have now- how did it come to this? Where did I go wrong? I'd failed Uni, moved back in with my mum and was knocked up. But somehow things gradually got better, I worked hard getting money together working at a bank and then Jonny was born in 2005. I'm still in quite a cruddy situation- I'm on Income Support, paying back my failed Uni fees and just got a crappy council house in a terrible area, I can't even let Jonny play out. But I'm always looking for ways to make things better, even just small ones.

I started doing Yoga, which not only is helping me shift my weight but it's making me more confident aswell, I have more energy and less of the bleh feeling. It's not for everyone, but at least give it a go. And I'm going back to Uni part-time, to try and make up for failing.

It may seem all doom and gloom now, because you're having a hard time, but it won't be like that forever. Just try and think that it can't get any worse, and don't doubt your ability to pull yourself out of it.

 

[Bambi]

You just pretty much summed my situation right up there aside from the uni fee's,. My daughter was born in 05 aswel, & as soon as I left the hospital I went back to my mums and dumped him shortly after coz Id finally got away from 'he who shall never be named'

Im thiking maybe I shouldn't have been so hasty about quitting my job but that was really beginning to bring me down anyway

I joined the gym though although Im too much of a shit bag to go on my own haha

 

[Miss Valentine]

About quitting your job, that might have happened anyway. If it was getting you down so much, it's probably best that you quite before it got too bad. Everyone needs breathing space I think, and you can't get that from working a shit job.

Yeah it's better to get away from the "you know who" people, they can make it so much harder to raise young'uns. Even as a child's father they're just not thinking of the child, which is unwelcome. I have no contact whatsover with my baby's father (though I do with the family), and I'm so glad about it.

Nooooooooo not the evil gym!!! Argh those places scare me!! No wonder you don't wanna go on your own

 

[Bei Bei]

It's always better to quit a job if it's on your terms. If you're really that unhappy and feel you have to quit, then sometimes it's better than sticking with it since it can effect your performance and all that.

Sometimes you just need to take action and hope for a better change which I think you are doing nicely so far, and I hope things work out for you.

 

[Mitsuki]

Ah, quite a sentimental topic for me. But before I move on...I did not know you have a baby, Bambi. =)

Anyway, as I was saying...yes, I can pretty much relate to you. Five years ago, everything was a normal and typical year as a teenager. Went out a few times, had some crushes, hang out with friends, etc. It was fun! Now I'm thinking, "Whoa, time flew by fast." And yet it didn't. A lot of things happened, and I keep wondering how in the world did I get through it all. One step at a time, is what they say. But boy, did it feel like 1,000 steps at a time.

Gone were all the plans I had five years ago. New plans sprouted up and most are a necessity. It's a whole new beginning in the midst of my growing years, and that's something that I'm still learning to cope with - because nothing is ever a permanent simplicity.

Now, there are a lot of things I would change if given the choice, but a lot of them would remain as is, as well. I definitely would never change my husband or daughter for anything. I'm happy that they're both in my life, even if some situations are hard to handle. Still, it's these rocky roads that we go through that help us build character and experience the most bittersweet moments in life that we may actually appreciate at some point later down the road.

As for career-wise...well, I am currently a teacher at a daycare center and although it is not my intention to be a teacher at all, it's a nice experience, I'd say. I love kids...but I honestly don't see it as something I can do for the rest of my life. Yes, I've heard a few people say, "But you're helping the minds of these little ones and getting them ready for the later years of their life." True, I suppose...but call me greedy or whatever...because I actually want something for myself. I want a desk right in front of me...my mind racing with innovative ideas, projects, and whatever challenges that certain work-field would have to offer. I want to learn - anything. So hopefully, I can get myself situated better soon enough concerning this issue.

So, despite the ups and downs, I'm still pretty damn content with my life. "Happy" is a term that I don't really like to use...as you can never really be happy in this world. Sure there's the feeling of bliss every now and then, but it's not a permanent factor as we all know. For me, it's just a matter of getting through life in slow-motion and taking snapshots of those picture-perfect scenes that you would normally save in your little "treasure box".