Man Tries to Shag a Bench.....

DLFlux

DLFlux

Boats and hoes....
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and fails. :|

Last night in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.
Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.
The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole.
He panicked and called the police to help him.
hk-man-penis02.gif


When police arrive they found Xian stuck face down where he had been stuck for some time.
When doctors arrived on the scene they tried to release some of the pressure by removing some of his blood, but the penis was so swollen that they ended up having to cut the entire bench free and take it, with Xian attached, to the hospital.
hk-man-penis03.jpg

4 painful hours later, Doctors finally separated Xian from his bench.
Doctors stated that if he had been stuck for even an hour longer, they would have had to remove his penis.

Source: http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/08/07/man-almost-loses-penis-humping-steel-bench/






Seriously, what the hell?
 
Honorable mention in the Darwin Awards he may get.

This is a prime example why women should put out more. Whilst they are bitching, complaining, being picky and PMTing, someone somewhere has their cock stuck in a steel park bench in desperation.
 
Those pictures are priceless. Man, that guy isn't too bright. Those holes are damn tiny. I won't mention any stereotypes, but how could he have expected that to work...

Poor dude. I feel sorta bad for him, but that won't stop me from laughing.
 
Oh Lawl,
It would've been priceless to have been in the hospital when they brought him in with the bench!
 
SaShman said:
Oh Lawl,
It would've been priceless to have been in the hospital when they brought him in with the bench!
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:lol: Being wheeled into a ward on a bed with a metal seat ontop of him and his japs eye poking through.

How did the paramedics manage to not break down in laughter?
 
Oh my GOD! You can tell he wasn't that well endowed if he was able to stick his penis in one of those tiny little holes. LOL Wow...a steel bench of ALL things? Seriously, was the guy on something? You'd think a normal person would be like "Hmmm, well this is made of steel, these holes are awfully small...I probably shouldn't stick my penis in there. It might hurt." Unless of course the guy gets off on steel! xD He won't be doing that again, now will he?
 
How did the paramedics manage to not break down in laughter?
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My guess is they weren't able to :monster:(I know I wouldn't be able to stop myself from laughing)

oh and for his sake I hope he got a Tetanus shot.
 
The more I think abit the more I think he did the bench a favour and I came up with a theory. I mean, benches only ever get ass, so Mr Xing decided he'd be generous and give this bench a portion of sausage. Only the bench got greedy and tried swallowing Mr Xing's ding-a-ling.

Can't really blame the bench though, it was it's first time. Lack of experience can lead to mistakes. Maybe it heard of swallowing and misinterpreted the meaning.
 
The hell? XD I was alternately amused and sympathetic towards this guy.. He could've chosen to pay for sex or something, but he opted for the cold, holed steel benches around. XD

Moonchild said:
This is a prime example why women should put out more. Whilst they are bitching, complaining, being picky and PMTing, someone somewhere has their cock stuck in a steel park bench in desperation.
Click to expand...

Why, you actually have a good point. :monster:
 
That reminds me of the picture of the guy with his penis in a mountain dew bottle.


But jeez, you'd think someone THAT desperate would just buy a doll.
 
Wtf? :wacky:

You'd think he'd just hire a prostitute or something, but no, he decides to get jiggy with a bench of all things. :P

If I were the doctors, I'd just chop it off.
 
Oh that made me lol so much, why couldn't he just get a blow up doll like normal weirdos

I bet he felt like a right twat - sure as hell didn't have his dick in one (poor, I know)

If I ever saw anyone in that predicament I wouldn't beable to refrain myself, I would be. quite literally, rolling on the floor in bits.

Stupid git is lucky he didn't lose his nob :monster:
 
DLFlux said:
The more I think abit the more I think he did the bench a favour and I came up with a theory. I mean, benches only ever get ass, so Mr Xing decided he'd be generous and give this bench a portion of sausage. Only the bench got greedy and tried swallowing Mr Xing's ding-a-ling.

Can't really blame the bench though, it was it's first time. Lack of experience can lead to mistakes. Maybe it heard of swallowing and misinterpreted the meaning.
Click to expand...

ROFLMAO. That right there was just too good. xD I guess Mr Xing will think twice the next time he decides to have sex with inanimate object.
 
Me thinks he just wanted a bit of steel vagina :P

Musta either been high or drunk...the creep :wacky:

Still...must be a right off embarassing experience...definetely a highlight of his life.
 
Sheesh, what in the world got into his "head". He certainly wasn't thinking too clearly, that's for sure.

But this made me chuckle. Poor man, yes, but damn, it's hilarious.
 
Coco said:
Why, you actually have a good point. :monster:
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Ofcourse, I always have a good point. Moonchild for President ya'know.

To be fair though, I've heard alot more storys far worse than this guy. For example a guy had to be rushed to hopsital because he decided it'll be a grand idea to stick his member into a sucksion vent of some kind of a swimming pool. It got stuck and after they managed to get him loose his willy wasn't exactly whole.
 
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