Man Tries to Shag a Bench.....

Hahahaha, ohhh how embarassing. xD If I was him I'd probably change my name and leave the country. <_< Unless he's proud of what happened, but I really can't imagine anyone, no matter how confident in themselves, being able to walk away from that one and be lighthearted about it. :wacky:
 
Moonchild said:
Ofcourse, I always have a good point. Moonchild for President ya'know.

To be fair though, I've heard alot more storys far worse than this guy. For example a guy had to be rushed to hopsital because he decided it'll be a grand idea to stick his member into a sucksion vent of some kind of a swimming pool. It got stuck and after they managed to get him loose his willy wasn't exactly whole.
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Was that the midget guy? Heard something like this a few days ago, a midget decided to experiment with a hoover.........now THAT's comedy. :D
 
DLFlux said:
Was that the midget guy? Heard something like this a few days ago, a midget decided to experiment with a hoover.........now THAT's comedy. :D
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The hoover thing is disturbingly common actually. I think im going to head over to the Darwin Awards site and see what madness is on there....

Right here we go

Mr.Happy's Vacuum: 2000 Honorable Mention said:
(13 May 1998, New Jersey) There's apparently not much to do in Long Branch during the long May evenings. A 51-year-old man decided to satisfy his fantasy of robotic love by seeking sexual gratification with his vacuum cleaner. Most men would think twice before poking a valuable organ into a vacuum, but this optimistic fellow had no qualms about the safety of his intended course of action. And using a vacuum cleaner had the appealing aspect of tidying up his mess after satisfying him. Our horny hero didn't realize that the suction on his hand-held Singer A-6 was created by a blade whirling just beneath the hose attachment, adjacent to the collection bag. His search for pleasure was cut short seconds after he stuck his penis into the vacuum and the blade lopped off part of his penis. With a sense of loss, he staggered to the phone and called police. He told them that he had been stabbed in his sleep. When police pointed out suspicious evidence, the victim claimed not to remember the incident.
Surgeons at Monmouth Medical Center stopped the bleeding, but were unable to reattach the 1/2" severed part. Though this man is still alive, his ability to reproduce has been curtailed by both his injury and his proclivity for household appliances.
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Moonchild said:
Originally Posted by Mr.Happy's Vacuum: 2000 Honorable Mention, confirmed true by Darwin
(13 May 1998, New Jersey) There's apparently not much to do in Long Branch during the long May evenings. A 51-year-old man decided to satisfy his fantasy of robotic love by seeking sexual gratification with his vacuum cleaner. Most men would think twice before poking a valuable organ into a vacuum, but this optimistic fellow had no qualms about the safety of his intended course of action. And using a vacuum cleaner had the appealing aspect of tidying up his mess after satisfying him. Our horny hero didn't realize that the suction on his hand-held Singer A-6 was created by a blade whirling just beneath the hose attachment, adjacent to the collection bag. His search for pleasure was cut short seconds after he stuck his penis into the vacuum and the blade lopped off part of his penis. With a sense of loss, he staggered to the phone and called police. He told them that he had been stabbed in his sleep. When police pointed out suspicious evidence, the victim claimed not to remember the incident.
Surgeons at Monmouth Medical Center stopped the bleeding, but were unable to reattach the 1/2" severed part. Though this man is still alive, his ability to reproduce has been curtailed by both his injury and his proclivity for household appliances.
Click to expand...



... Where do these people come from?

The 1/2" made me laugh too hard. XDDDD

Poor guys.. And I thought normal sex was still very attainable.
 
Ha!
It's the kinda thing you'd see in an American teen movie!
I'm not quite sure who I feel sorry for the most, the guy or the bench :)
 
Jesus. I think I'll stick to women >.>

Though I gotta say, that bench was pretty sexy... >.>
 
Oh man, what next? A mixer?

Haha, this is great. But srsly, should have just bagged a prostitute or something.
 
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