Hello, Elven Angel here

Justice Ramza said:
Well ignore anything these crazy people say...

All you need to know is that I am the best person ever to be on this forum and if you do what I say you shall be shot straight to the top... and if you don't do what I say... you become Ayumi's slave :hmph:


But welcome enjoy your stay :elmo:
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I object to that statement. I do have any slaves at all in my possession and have not since my family used to own a plantation. You are making comments about me that you have no proof to back up and I won't settle for this. Dripping hot wax on someone's ass doesn't make them your slave, and neither does making them dress like a tranny.
 
Ayumi Hamasaki said:
You should be aware that no one here who is sexy is a virgin. I have already handle that problem (or blessing depending on who you ask). Well the few that hadn't already lost them during awkward drunk moments, or to the so called "love" of their lives. The point is I'm afraid I've only left the ugly and old people's virginity for you.

As such, I'm hereby required to also warn you that if anyone claims to be a virgin to have sex with you and are moderately hot, they are lying, as I will have already had sex with them. You may feel free to have sex with them regardless but you cannot claim their virginity, or I will have to take you and them to court, and sully the paps with all of our sex lives.

Naturally that's not desirable. In fact, I would do anything at all to avoid just that, for my sex habits could be regarded as undesirable or "kinky" by some. To have them on the cover of magazines and papers would be very bad for my image, and would do great damage that I don't think any amount of PR could undo. If it comes to that, I will also be suing you for slander and libel, should you feel the need to comment on anything that comes out during that period.

The fact that I like to make my sexual partner dress like Lady Gaga, and sing Poker Face while dripping hot wax on their ass is no one's business but my own. Sexual expression is a freedom that I practice on a daily, no hourly basis, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't look at me oddly for it. Who are you to look down on me for how I like my sex? Maybe I have mommy and daddy issues? Maybe you too?

Who knows. The point of this is to welcome you to the forums, but I recoil from doing the typical and just posting four words "Like welcome to the forums". That is cliche and typical and completely out of character for someone as intelligent and pretentious as I am. No I set out to make a post in this welcome thread that runs on as long as some of the pointless debates in the Sleeping Forest.

You are the Lady Who Sleeps With Dragon's friend? Or as I call her when I'm too lazy to type so much, Smaug. That is interesting to me. How do you befriend a Dragon Lady unless in fact you are a dragon lady yourself? I must object to this forum having two dragon ladies on the grounds that one dragon is quite enough and also it would require an existence to the Dragon's Lair that I'm not sure Jesse and Tia would be willing to pay for.

However, if you aren't a dragon lady, but only a friend of dragons, that I must warn you that dragons are dangerous fire breathing animals without the capability of logical thought, no matter what the dragon lady may say. They will sooner bite your hand off then give you a ride on their backs. My great aunt lost her leg to a dragon in fact, now she just has a stump, and she must hop around.

Heed my warnings and you will be just fine here.

(@Dragon Mage Because I think you might actually read my hard work xD)
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^ Probably the most insanely awesome welcome post I've seen to date. Word, baby, woooord. XD

But your efforts are futile, dear friend, for I can still take certain virginities...like lesbian ones. You can take me to court all you like, I've got a lawyer... I sold my soul for artistic vision and a lawyer to defend it. I'm well-versed~

How you treat your people in bed is your business...but I still say I treat 'em better since I employ a number of desirable fictional characters that frequently attend to such occasions. I am also occasionally possessed by one of them and thus I'm as good as having a group orgy! 8D

Ahem, I'd post more, but I wouldn't wanna burn my sugarcube's eyes off with this stuff. I borderline that enough as it is, heehee.
 
Ayumi said:
However, if you aren't a dragon lady, but only a friend of dragons, that I must warn you that dragons are dangerous fire breathing animals without the capability of logical thought, no matter what the dragon lady may say. They will sooner bite your hand off then give you a ride on their backs.
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That entirely depends on which source book you are referring to. Myself, I refer to the D&D source books, in which dragons are incredibly intelligent, extremely powerful both magically and physically, and vary in temperament and attitude as much as the human race does. :griin:

Besides, she is an ANGEL, not a dragon.

:wacky: Very nice post, Ayumi. I find myself applauding your brilliant diction and meandering prose; whimsical in nature, but entertaining as a whole and a positive delight to read. Bravo, sir! I look forward to future posts!

ElvenAngel said:
Ahem, I'd post more, but I wouldn't wanna burn my sugarcube's eyes off with this stuff. I borderline that enough as it is, heehee.
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Thank you. ._.
 
OMG!!:gonk:*Slurp* Welcome have fun and please dont make me read anything that much ever again so tired


ZzZzZ:sleep:
_____^_______________________________
the letters they R hurtin me*ouch* Help ME!!!! AHHHHH!
wake me up damnit!!
 
GrimHeroAce said:
OMG!!:gonk:*Slurp* Welcome have fun and please dont make me read anything that much ever again so tired


ZzZzZ:sleep:
_____^_______________________________
the letters they R hurtin me*ouch* Help ME!!!! AHHHHH!
wake me up damnit!!
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Haha, sorry, but it only gets worse. I'm a word-crafter, dear. That is, I'm a writer ;D

Thank you all!
 
A writer is a person who uses words in sentences to get a meaning across.
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An insufficient description of a writer. What you just defined is more like a politician than a writer. Word-smithing is entirely different from spewing (that which a politician does).
 
Dragon Mage said:
An insufficient description of a writer. What you just defined is more like a politician than a writer. Word-smithing is entirely different from spewing (that which a politician does).
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Precisely, darling. A certain degree of madness and intelligence is necessary for word-smithing. Any moron can be a politician. :p I think many countries have sufficiently proven that.
 
I was hinting at a lot of people from several countries, US, UK and Greece especially. Palin's just one of them, bless her brainless head.
 
Another Female to our Group. Hello there. =D! Welcome to FFF and have fun here. Don't forget the complementary Cookies!!!
 
Dragon Mage said:
:fan:

*super ultra hyper mega glomps*

WELCOME! :nana:

MUHAHAHA beware, FFF! My brain twin has arrived! It's like the cruiser from starcraft. But it's ElvenAngel and sooooo much better than a cruiser! :dave:

:woo: This has to be one of the best intro posts I've seen in a while.
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*sends 8-12 scourge after your "Battlecruisers"*

Terrans = fail :monster:

On other news, Welcome newbie! Enjoy your stay, and also... when do you plan on bombarding Hals Bunker? (unlese he changed his usertitle/status)

If a twin brain of DM's here then the world's doomed. :sad3:

Jokes. :lew:
 
Haha, you're very welcome.

Just so you know, it's ok to ignore the drivel Cody (Ayumi) goes on about, he's not smart, he's just creepy. :mokken:


:britt:
Waits for Cody to retaliate.
 
Dragon Mage said:
:mokken:



Try Protoss O Omniscient One. You're knowledge of Starcraft is lacking and for this you must pay in chocolate. :ryan:
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Protoss are ok, Defilers rape them with a splintered bamboo stick though.

Mind you 8 Carriers (with max interceptors) an observer and an arbiter and it's insta win...for about 10 secs..till the arbiter goes down then yer fucked.

And besides that, 8-10 scourge is cheaper than any protoss army...lol
 
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