Friends with your ex?

B

Bones

Invisible
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2008
Messages
1,148
Location
UK
Gil
0
Ok so I was with my ex for 18 months and before that we were best friends, we broke up at Christmas because he was at Uni but we still agreed to stay friends, a lot of stuff happened after that and now he is being a pain in the arse.

The question I'm asking is if you can remain friends with an ex, if so how do you manage to do it because I'm finding it hard at the moment.
 
I find it easy to stay friends with Ex girlfriends as most of them start to see me as a brother after we break up, mainly because when we break up i used the great line "If you ever need anything, a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to talk to, you have my number" and they always seem to take me up on it, then we start to get to know each other as mates, and when all that is done with, kicking the crap outta the guys who break their hearts helps alot
 
I tried to stay friends with my ex, and it worked out for a moment, but after a while he started to get jealous because he was still in love with me (though he never really said anything about it even though it was obvious), which made it difficult for us to be "friends". He was the one who didn't wanted to break up in the first place. I mean, it really just depends. You can try it, but it didn't really work out for me in the end. It's a pretty risky situation. Then again, if you don't absolutely have to remain friends, it might be best if you just kinda go your separate ways.
 
Hmm.. I can't really comment on personal experiences because I don't have any. o_O But from what I've seen with friends it's not impossible to have a friendship afterwards. I guess it depends on a lot of things. How serious it was, for a start. Some people are friends first and then become closer, but it doesn't work out and they decide that they're better off as friends, or something like that. If it was a more longterm thing though and you're still really attached and refuse to move on, then I'd imagine it'd be a lot more awkward to remain a friendship.

The circumstances of the break-up would also play a part I think. If it was somebody who treated you really badly and was unfaithful several times, then most people would probably be very angry with them for a while and wouldn't really want to be friends... Some people seem to be able to forgive and forget though (a bit too easily in certain cases -__-) and can be civil to each other. Like I said, it just depends.
 
I don't get on with my ex at all, I just ignore her when we see each other. I'd like to stay in contact with her because I like to know that she's doing OK and w/e but I can't see it happening any time soon, and I don't think many of her friends are still too keen on me so I'd rather save the arguments and not speak to her at all, to be honest.

We were good friends before we got together but friendship rarely sticks when you break up with someone, it just dies out with the intimacy. Oh well...
 
well strangely.... After me and my ex broke up we were friends, then, I hated him, like for quite a while. And now, we are slightly cool, like we talk, rarely, but we are civil to each other, and i seem to have become some sort of listening ear to him.
 
I find that I cannot remain friends with my ex-boyfriends. I've only had two ex-boyfriends and I don't know where they are now or what they've done after I broke up with them. I just feel awkward and uncomfortable at the thought of staying in contact with them. Besides, there really was no memories, to be honest. They were brief encounters, nothing more, so I don't feel the need to remain friends with them.

Situation varies, of course, and things are different for everyone. If I had known them better and was with them for a long time and truly cared for them, then yes, I probably would have remained friends with them, although I must admit that it still would be awkward nonetheless.
 
Me and my ex were fine, I was even cool with him going around seeing other girls as it didn't bother me, it was when we started seeing each other again for a while and then he got with another girl, it should be me doing the hating but for some reason its the other way around, confusing or what eh?
 
Depends on how the break-up goes. If it's ugly, then staying friends may be difficult for obvious reasons. If it's amicable, then it can be easy remaining friends. Be yourself and accept the way things are. I still consider my ex a friend, though I pretty much never see her in person. Everything was fine between us, but she moved. Long distance relationships are a pain, so we went our seperate ways. It happens.
 
VoN said:
Depends on how the break-up goes. If it's ugly, then staying friends may be difficult for obvious reasons. If it's amicable, then it can be easy remaining friends. Be yourself and accept the way things are. I still consider my ex a friend, though I pretty much never see her in person. Everything was fine between us, but she moved. Long distance relationships are a pain, so we went our seperate ways. It happens.
Click to expand...
I think there's a lot of thruth in what you've said.
I hardly see most of them, except for one or two that go to my school. But I still see them as friends, if we were to meet I'd say hi, ask them how they were and all that, but I'd only meet them by chance, because I wouldn't being hanging out with them.
I think that being friends with an ex requires some energy, and is possible to do. But you have to go out of your way to do it, you have to cultivate it because it won't happen on its own.
 
I've still remained good friends with Jodie, mainly because she is my sisters best mate so it was inevitable that we would still be really good mates and talk to each other nearly everyday after we split up anyway. I don't really find it all that difficult to get along with her amazingly well...there are a few awkward moments but that's naturally going to happen.
 
I just broke up with my boyfriend this morning and, no, I can't ever be friends with him. That foul, cheating bastard deserves to get his weenie cut off and thrown to the dogs.







Morbidity aside, I find that I am not on speaking terms with my first boyfriend as well.. Maybe because there are memories there which tugs at you a little when you see or hear of each other. I would just find that awkward. So no.
 
I have been on speaking terms with a couple of exes, although one of them just pecked my head, randomly texting me out of the blue, which I didnt mind so much but I always got 'I still care about youuuu..... and Im like -__- Annoying thing is it always seemed to be after he had broken up with someone......and wanting to come round or go for a drink :rolleyes:

I pretty much just told him to go away

The ex I have my daughter with I barely spoke to for a couple of years and now we are finally back on speaking terms although at times it can be very strained, but, if it wasn't for El, then I know I wouldn't have to givbe him a second thought, so that's not really through WANTING to be friends with him. I can be civil to him.....

And then there's Andy, It took us about a year to get on proper talking terms wheere he didn't annoy the fuck out of me, he would text me all the time, jhated the idea of me being with anyopne else and would say, how would you like it if I got with another woman.....and Id be like, I don't care I dumped you.....ugh, he used to stalk me and harrass me, driove me up the wall

He has behaved over the past year though (still has his annoying moments) he finally decided to meet other girls and Istopped getting harrassed, we could fiiiiinally get on

Although lasrt week he came round at 1AM PISSED and DRIVING because he had had a row with his girlfriend..... >_>

You know what, I was thinking it's fine to be friends with ex's, but I'm beginning to think it's more hassle than it's bloody worth
 
Agent Smith said:
You know what, I was thinking it's fine to be friends with ex's, but I'm beginning to think it's more hassle than it's bloody worth
Click to expand...

I think this is absolutely true. At least, more often than not.

I agree with what others have said also, it does depend on a lot of different factor (the nature of the break-up, length of relationship, etc.). However, things can never be exactly the same as they were before you begin a relationship. Even if the both of you are very mature, the breakup was amicable, and the relationship was not long-term, things are still different. Whether that difference is good or bad is really up to the individuals involved, but things always change.

It's certainly easier to "cut the cord", so to speak, and simply forget about it. I know there have been plenty of instances where I wish that I had done so. =\
 
I couldn't remain friends with my ex, especially because he broke up with me in a bad way. I don't think I could be friends with him anyway after because I know the way I feel about him, he just doesn't feel it back anymore and I think it would hurt more than if we just were to never talk again.
 
I haven't had much of an issue remaining friends with my ex girlfriends...but some of them, I am still enemies with...but that's because they were two-timers ¬_¬.
 
Sure.

If you're not a vengeful twit. (Unless your break-up was hell, but I find they rarely are, for me.)
 
I personally do not think that you are obligated to remain friends with a jackass just because he is your ex boyfriend and if that is the case i dont think you should really try hard to stay friends with somebody you wouldnt associate with if he wasnt your ex boyfriend
 
I'm still friends with all but one of my exes. The one in question is an annoying bitch who thinks she's better than everyone else, which is like, seriously not true. I'll talk to her every so often but I'll remember why I hate her so much and start ignoring her again :monster:
 
I used to be friends with him but then something happened. It wasn't related what happened between us so I suppose it doesn't count.
He has changed though, he's not the same person I once liked so much. Oh well~~!!

~Tifa~
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top