Welcome to the "Best Of" FFF Vote-off! If you're unsure of what this event is about, please check out the introductory thread over here!
This thread is for you guys to vote for which joke entry you think is the best from our Christmas Jokes competitions!
And while you're at it, let us know down below why! Inquiring minds want to know
Here is the list of funniest entries FFF has seen over the years!
Joke 1: Linnaete (2016)
One evening in the Quicksand tavern in Ul'dah, a Miqo'te, an Elezen and a Hyur have had a few to drink. The ale is strong and the week has been a drag. For some reason, they decide to engage in a discussion on the topic of birth control.
The Hyur, who is a proud White Mage, happily declares that she casts Protect. It's very cheap, doesn't cost much and always provides that useful bit of mitigation. She tried using Stoneskin once, but her boyfriend didn't exactly respond in the most appreciative way as you can probably imagine.
The Elezen states that her family runs an Ishgardian apothecary in the Jewelled Crozier. They have a wide catalogue of potions and tonics. She often spikes her hubby's drink before sex with silencing potions so he wouldn't be able to properly cast his spell at the critical moment. She also makes it a ritual habit of taking a tincture of antidote on a daily basis. All of which are designed to minimalise the risk of pregnancy.
Her two friends are impressed and quickly make a note of this strange and unorthodox Ishgardian method on their napkins. The Elezen then asks the Miqo'te what her preferred method is. The Miqo'te's ears twitch excitedly and she proudly declares "I use the stool method!"
The Hyur and the Elezen look puzzled. "What is the stool method?"
"Oh, I'm married to a Lalafell" replies the Miqo'te, "whenever he's about to finish, I just kick the stool out from under him!"
~
Joke 2: Dionysos (2016)
"Doctor, Doctor! I'm paranoid that moogles are after me!"
"You must be nuts."
~
Joke 3: Linnaete (2017)
"This way, Mr Trump, and erm, I would also appreciate it if you don't grab me by the derriere again," sighed Quistis in an audibly exasperated tone as she led Balamb Garden's newest headmaster through the umpteenth pristine hallway towards the Training Centre.
Strutting proudly behind her was Headmaster Trump (how exactly he managed to obtain this position of great authority despite his lack of qualifications is beyond me, but this wouldn't be the first time anyone has ever raised this question), whose mind was currently preoccupied with the most tremendously salient of matters: how many gold ingots would need to be melted down to turn this entire establishment into an extension of Trump Tower?
"This is the Training Centre, Headmaster. This is where our students can be tested to their martial limits against real monsters. I would warn you not to enter-"
"There is no one more leveled up than I am. Believe me!" cried Headmaster Trump, as he proceeded to haughtily waltz in.
......
Fifteen minutes later, Dr Kadowaki hurriedly reported to the scene along with a small contingency of elite SeeD candidate students. "What happened? Instructor Trepe reported that the Headmaster had a particularly dramatic encounter with a T-Rexaur!"
"Indeed. I was just very startled and frightened by the sight of that big scary head and those tiny little flailing hands..."
...said the T-Rexaur.
~
Joke 4: Dionysos (2019)
Why couldn’t Blank participate in the Tantalus Theatre Troupe’s nativity play?
He was stoned.
~
Joke 5: Linnaete (2020)
What happened when Cid found Rikku getting zapped by lightning in the Thunder Plains because she wanted to conquer her fear of thunder?
He grounded her. Though she was shocked, she put up no resistance and is currently conducting herself properly.
~
Joke 6: Miko (2020)
What happened to Tidus' dad?
He went out for a pack of Malboros and never came back.
~
Joke 7: Cloudysky (2020)
(Click to enlarge!)
~
Joke 8: Miko (2020)
What do you call Sin that's been merged with a Centaur?
A Sintaur.
~
Joke 9: Dionysos (2020)
Doctor doctor! I think I’m turning into a Burmecian!
You’re Pucked!
~
Joke 10: Dionysos (2021)
What do you get if you cross a Tonberry with a cherished Christmas snack?
Everyone’s Fudge
One evening in the Quicksand tavern in Ul'dah, a Miqo'te, an Elezen and a Hyur have had a few to drink. The ale is strong and the week has been a drag. For some reason, they decide to engage in a discussion on the topic of birth control.
The Hyur, who is a proud White Mage, happily declares that she casts Protect. It's very cheap, doesn't cost much and always provides that useful bit of mitigation. She tried using Stoneskin once, but her boyfriend didn't exactly respond in the most appreciative way as you can probably imagine.
The Elezen states that her family runs an Ishgardian apothecary in the Jewelled Crozier. They have a wide catalogue of potions and tonics. She often spikes her hubby's drink before sex with silencing potions so he wouldn't be able to properly cast his spell at the critical moment. She also makes it a ritual habit of taking a tincture of antidote on a daily basis. All of which are designed to minimalise the risk of pregnancy.
Her two friends are impressed and quickly make a note of this strange and unorthodox Ishgardian method on their napkins. The Elezen then asks the Miqo'te what her preferred method is. The Miqo'te's ears twitch excitedly and she proudly declares "I use the stool method!"
The Hyur and the Elezen look puzzled. "What is the stool method?"
"Oh, I'm married to a Lalafell" replies the Miqo'te, "whenever he's about to finish, I just kick the stool out from under him!"
~
Joke 2: Dionysos (2016)
"Doctor, Doctor! I'm paranoid that moogles are after me!"
"You must be nuts."
~
Joke 3: Linnaete (2017)
"This way, Mr Trump, and erm, I would also appreciate it if you don't grab me by the derriere again," sighed Quistis in an audibly exasperated tone as she led Balamb Garden's newest headmaster through the umpteenth pristine hallway towards the Training Centre.
Strutting proudly behind her was Headmaster Trump (how exactly he managed to obtain this position of great authority despite his lack of qualifications is beyond me, but this wouldn't be the first time anyone has ever raised this question), whose mind was currently preoccupied with the most tremendously salient of matters: how many gold ingots would need to be melted down to turn this entire establishment into an extension of Trump Tower?
"This is the Training Centre, Headmaster. This is where our students can be tested to their martial limits against real monsters. I would warn you not to enter-"
"There is no one more leveled up than I am. Believe me!" cried Headmaster Trump, as he proceeded to haughtily waltz in.
......
Fifteen minutes later, Dr Kadowaki hurriedly reported to the scene along with a small contingency of elite SeeD candidate students. "What happened? Instructor Trepe reported that the Headmaster had a particularly dramatic encounter with a T-Rexaur!"
"Indeed. I was just very startled and frightened by the sight of that big scary head and those tiny little flailing hands..."
...said the T-Rexaur.
~
Joke 4: Dionysos (2019)
Why couldn’t Blank participate in the Tantalus Theatre Troupe’s nativity play?
He was stoned.
~
Joke 5: Linnaete (2020)
What happened when Cid found Rikku getting zapped by lightning in the Thunder Plains because she wanted to conquer her fear of thunder?
He grounded her. Though she was shocked, she put up no resistance and is currently conducting herself properly.
~
Joke 6: Miko (2020)
What happened to Tidus' dad?
He went out for a pack of Malboros and never came back.
~
Joke 7: Cloudysky (2020)
(Click to enlarge!)
~
Joke 8: Miko (2020)
What do you call Sin that's been merged with a Centaur?
A Sintaur.
~
Joke 9: Dionysos (2020)
Doctor doctor! I think I’m turning into a Burmecian!
You’re Pucked!
~
Joke 10: Dionysos (2021)
What do you get if you cross a Tonberry with a cherished Christmas snack?
Everyone’s Fudge