Serious Dating question for the ladies

Sir Kenneth

Sir Kenneth

You're f**king out!
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Mostly for the ladies anyway, but if any gentlemen want to weigh in, I won't stop you :)

I have been in a long term relationship with the same girl for pretty much my entire adult life (it ended almost a year ago though) and I have recently started seeing someone new. We went on our first date last week, which I thought went well, but being a total n00b when it comes to dating, I probably could use a few pointers on how to proceed from here. I doubt that what makes a 26 year old woman tick is the same as what makes a 16 year old tick, and the latter was pretty much the age group the last time I did anything remotely resembling courtship :wacky:


A little while ago I mentioned to her in a text that I'd had to cancel a small dinner party and and she remarked that her invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. So I thought about actually sending her an invitation for a candlelit dinner for 2 at my place, but I don't know if that would come off as charming and gentleman-like or just unbelievably cheesy. Is that something you'd go for ladies? ;) Please help!
 
Depends on how you proceed with it. With her remark an invitation of the card sort would be rather insulting and sarcastic. However, and this is personal preference, I'd rather have my man tell me that the two of us will be going somewhere special and to dress nicely (or whatever adjective you want to use). Simply keep it mysterious and courteous and bring them to your place for said candlelit dinner.

As I think about it though, it may require a third party to facilitate the food but alas, sometimes that is the price for romance.
 
There is no one recipe that works on all girls. You have to find out for yourself what this girl likes and how much romance she prefers.

If you don't want to straight out ask her "Hey, do you like candlelit dinners?" then you can try steering the topic in that direction by finding an article somewhere showing a guy being an ass / a gentleman and then go "what an ass, I much prefer candlelit dinners" / "That's how a guy is supposed to behave" etc and try to observe her reaction.

If she doesn't confirm or deny if she likes that level of romance you could ask her how much romance she likes, that should provide a clear enough answer.
 
i'm not a woman, but who would turn down a candlelit dinner for two? :p unless she doesn't like candlelit dinners.
 
Belazor said:
There is no one recipe that works on all girls. You have to find out for yourself what this girl likes and how much romance she prefers.
Click to expand...

This.

I completely agree. Personally, I would think anything of the sort would be absolutely ridiculous and cheesy and make me feel highly uncomfortable, but that is just me. I'm not a romantic person. In fact, I'm far from it. I suggest you learn more about her before you go and pull something like that. UNLESS you want to use it as a learning experience. It doesn't always have to be a bad thing. At least it would be a nice gesture.
 
I think if you want to create a romantic enviorment then you should use your own mind. When it comes to relationships they must be built by revealing your true self from the start, this includes romance. This is a problem faced so often when people will not show their true personallity. As time builds the people will stop pretending, and may not like what they see. At this point it might be almost too late.

So I think I will give you the best advice I can possibly offer. When you create your dates do not just do it just for the woman, but also for yourself. This will ensure honestly from the very start in all aspects. If you are a fan of a candlelight dinner then go with it, just remember that the higher you place the standards from the start, the harder it will be to ensure a lasting connection. Reveal yourself, not who she wants you to be.
 
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Only you know how she'd react to that, Id probably think it was a bit weird. But then some other lass might think its the most romantic thing ever... also, was she being sarcastic about the invite being lost in the post, because she may just think you're taking the piss

Maybe you could just set the food shit up, invite her round and surprise her with the nicely done and laid out scran...? Think Id appreciate that more than getting an invite in the post personally haha

Food usually does the trick when it comes to winning me around at least. Or shoes
 
See? It's good that we have a place like this so that I don't make a complete arse out of myself :wacky:

Thanks to everyone who has posted words of advice. It's all been duly noted. And keep it coming haha :)
 
Belazor said:
There is no one recipe that works on all girls. You have to find out for yourself what this girl likes and how much romance she prefers.
Click to expand...

As shocking as it is to see this coming from Belz, this really is the true secret.

You don't even need to be all stealthy about it, just try things and straight out ask her if she's enjoying herself or not. Mention that you're hoping to find things you can enjoy together, as well as working out what SHE likes, so you can help her relax and enjoy herself. She'll appreciate that.

As for the dinner...eeeeeh, don't go candlelight or hyper-super fancy, because that IS cheesy. Inviting her to a dinner, that you've cooked and all, and prepared for her, probably with a movie on the side (comedies work best, I find, they're neutral in terms of popularity and feel, and a GOOD comedy will get you both relaxed and in a good mood) will be a welcome alternative to going out on a date. Take the date home, where you both feel a little less tense.

That dinner party detail was a bit of a goof, I'll have to be blunt, but a casual dinner and maybe an offhand explanation (like, you weren't completely sure if she'd like these people, or you thought these people would annoy her, or something neutral like that) will probably do very well in sorting this out.

Mind you, I'm speaking from the perspective of sensible, level-headed women, that I assume most other women are, but I've been wrong before.
 
Olol, an invitation like that would actually make me laugh. :lew: In a good way, of course. I dunno, I'm not the kinda girl for big surprises, but even being invited over and see the guy cooked up a nice meal, and rented a movie or something, :lew: That just shows effort, and effort is important to me, specially if it's all about the person. It just shows they care about you.

As many said, a lot of girls are different, I can see the humour in an invitation being sent through mail, but I can also see how it's a complete cheesy no for others. (Shrugs) I'd say they'd have to lighten up. xD

I'm almost positive she'll see that you're trying to put effort in to her though with a cooked meal, mailed invite, or just surprise her if you take her over to your house.

Best of luck! =P
 
I'd like to add, if you're at all good with cooking, you are that much more appealing, in addition to putting out the effort.
 
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