Chummy?

[Kandy-Sugar]

So how chummy are you with your relatives, inlaws and such?

I see so many people getting so close with their families, like really close in which they share anything and everything.

Then there's the girls/boys who get real chummy with the inlaws and go off together on outings and girly day shopping trips with their sister in laws etc etc and then the guys go off fishing or doing manly things with their faither in law to win their approval.

Some might genuinely like their family and inlaws enough to get this close but I don't. =/ I mean I like them enough that I don't hate them or anything, but I would never chose to spend every waking moment with them. Going off on family trips etc etc.

I'm the total opposite of that. I don't even go shopping with my own sister, why would I go shopping with Steve's?

Families should never be THAT close in my opinion. It's just too wierd. Some get too close and then they clash and then fights within the family break out. I never get that close that I could ever get in a fight with my family or inlaws. I stay far enough away, just so that I keep a good relationship with them.

I like my space and I don't like getting all close and intimate etc etc with people just because they're related to me, or because I feel like I have to because they're 'family'. I'm not a big family person. I choose my own friends and get chummy with them, but not with family. It's just wierd when you see these little clans following each other around like the Kardashians and such.

Not for me. How 'bout you?

 

[Martel]

Well, my relationship with my relatives is...strained, at best. I've never met any of my relatives on my father's side (well, I think I might have met his sister once or twice, but I don't know them at all), only my mother's, and things aren't particularly fantastic at the moment, nor do they ever look to be. I have two aunts, both of which I usually see once a year, at Christmas, and I think this is probably the reason I get along with them reasonably well: we speak to one another for less than an hour per year, and see one another even less, so there is no time for things to degenerate. I get along with my godfather (not technically a relative, but eh) quite well whenever I see him, though.

In the past, I used to be very close to my grandparents, but one thing led to another and now I refuse to even speak to them, which is what is causing most of the problems (although this is more with my grandmother than anything else; my grandfather seems quite content to leave me to it, which actually causes me to respect and appreciate him a little more than I otherwise did...) but I'll not go into the messy details of the events that led to it. Every time they come down now, or even when they're just brought up in conversation, my relationship with my mother sours noticeably, and whilst my mother and I have never been particularly close, this does nothing to help matters.

My mother and I have an extremely complex and difficult relationship, because we are absolutely nothing alike (or perhaps too alike for our own good...) and it is constantly being aggravated. I don't really know what to make of it a lot of the time, so I tend to take each day as it comes. My father I don't really think of as my father; he lost the right to that title in my eyes years ago, given how he treated me as a child. I call him by his first name, and he's more of an acquaintance than he is anything else, but I do have a certain measure of respect for him. It's quite amusing that, despite the fact that he made my childhood miserable, he's probably the relative I get along with the most.

I've always thought that a lot of people have a highly unreasonable attitude to relatives: they put up with more from them, and allow them to get away with things they otherwise wouldn't let an acquaintance get away with without repurcussions. I suppose this is because people tend to have more contact with their relatives than they do other people, but since I've always had a small family, and a very low tolerance for people fucking me about, I don't have this mentality, and it has made my familial situation less than pleasant, because my relatives just assume I'm going to allow them to mess me around, and that I'll keep quiet "for the sake of a quiet life" or however the saying goes.

I am not the sort of person to give this unconditional love, support, respect or whatever it is that people associate with family members. These things must be earned, and I am afraid that my relatives have not earned it, or have lost it as a result of their change in attitude towards me. I treat others how I am treated myself, and my relatives associate with me purely because I am my mother's firstborn, they don't care about me as a person, and this has been made abundantly clear time and again through their attitude towards me, which changed dramatically as I got older and started to actually think for myself. Apparently I'm not allowed to think for myself.

The feeling is mutual, because I really don't see why I should tolerate any more shit than I normally do from someone just because they're related to me. It means nothing to me; I choose who I want to be associated with, and I'm not going to be bound by their expectations that I should give even the slightest damn about what they think, when they have done nothing to justify the sort of respect and loyalty that takes my friends a very long time to earn.

That's my wonderful little dysfunctional family situation. There is blame on both sides for how things have turned out, but I honestly don't much care about it. Relatives are just the same as anyone else to me, they don't get some all expenses paid pass to my life. I can't imagine myself ever getting close to my relatives, because I can't see any of them being willing to accept or respect that I don't have to and won't bend over backwards to accomodate them, but if they approach me with civility, I will respond in kind. I don't really feel any animosity towards my relatives, but at the same time, I'm not particularly fond of them.

 

[Bambi]

used to be really close with my dads side, but as i got older (and fell out with my dad) i just stopped going over as much, got to a point where i hadnt seen them in years and i used to see them once a week

Not really been with Tom long enough to comment on the coming relations with his family

I always seem to revert to really awkward around peoples parents though, its weird as I could talk the hind legs off a donkey, put a friends mum in the room and I just turn into a mong

 

[Squid]

I don't think it's weird for you to be close to your family or your Boyfriend/fiance/husbands family. That's what family is for, to be there for you etc.

I am very close to my sister, we're like best friends and I love having her around even though she drives me insane. We go shopping and do heaps of things together. I am also very close to my cousins on my mums side. They're younger than me but I have the brain of a child so I love to hang out with them and play with their vid games and batman toys with them

I am not so close to my dads side but they're always fighting so it's hard to.

I was never close to my Ex's family either, not because I didn't want to but they were very awkward people, I felt they were always judging me so I didn't make much of an effort to get to know them...well that's a lie, I did really like his grandparents and we got on well.

 

[Tyler Breeze]

Oh god.... The thought of being chummy with my relatives is making me want to vomit. What a horrible, horrible thought. Guh..... I'm having nightmares tonight! Anyway....

Hell No! I could never be chummy with a relative of any kind. I barely share anything with my parents. If I even mention the book I'm reading to one of my relatives they'll start questioning me as if I've done a crime and they know I'm the one that did it. It's like, what the hell is your problem?

They peeve me off to no end. Oh but your supposed to love your family!

No No No eff that. I just can't be chummy with them, no matter how hard I try.

 

[The Master]

My family, my relatives, we are like this: &

And by & I mean tight.

We have family get-together's and talk to no end with each other... I wish I had been more open sooner because I have grown up a lot and had not felt like hanging out with my relatives, cousins, aunts, uncles, ect.
I LOVE my family and I like/want to spend as much time with them as I can.

 

[Mitsuki]

Gosh, I have like 200+ relatives just from my father's side. We're a huge family, so most of them I don't even see unless there's family reunions and big parties. It's been a couple years since I've seen my relatives anyway. But no, when I do see them, we're not chummy. We'll talk but a lot of my relatives around my age (even though they have kids already) are into partying, smoking shit, and getting drunk, which obviously I can't relate.

As for my aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins (again, father's side) we aren't as close as we used to be when we were all younger. We still try to get together during occasions (Thanksgiving & Christmas) but birthday parties, we don't really see each other anymore. Kinda sucks, really. I was really close with my cousins too, and they're all younger than me (I'm the oldest one living here in the U.S). Now they're all in college or about to graduate high school and I keep thinking, "Aren't you only 12?" Lol. They get annoyed at me for saying that. I remember several years ago we'd always drive down to Los Angeles every weekend or two to see everyone, but work, family, and school prevented us from visiting people anymore.

It's funny, now that I think about it, I'm actually closer with my in-laws, as odd as that may sound.

 

[Six]

I'm really not that close with family at all anymore. I'd like to be, because I think family is important, but... Ever since my grandmother passed away it just kinda... all fell apart. She was the "glue" of our family, and taking that over as an 11 year old at the time, well... Just didn't go so well, people don't listen to you at that age. Even now, I do still try to get people to be able to "go through one door" together, but I don't think it's happening, and it certainly isn't my place to force something like that.

Emotionally - that sometimes get to you, because it feels like you're constantly pulled in a million directions. Thankfully my family is not that big, so it could be worse. I guess this is the main reason I put so much stock in my relationships with people. Friends and such become your little family that can be under the same roof without tearing the house apart, heh.

 

[Bambi]

Not really been with Tom long enough to comment on the coming relations with his family

So, we are married now, and me and the in-laws hate each other hahaha. his mother is a vile human being. Very sly and underhand too. Not spoken to her at all since the wedding, been over 2 months now, he will be seeing them tomorrow at a family party but i refuse to go. now the wedding is over i can stop walking about on egg shells and quite happily cut them out of my life for good. and it will likely be for good as i wont talk to them until i have an apology which i cant see ever getting as his mother is pig headed and stubborn - which i am too, but as i am not in the wrong i dont feel like i need to bother making the peace with them- i dont want to 'be the bigger person' i just want them out of my life now.

 

[Ed Elric]

This is a very interesting topic considering what I've been through in the last year or so

I'll try my best not to get into to much detail, but family has always been important for me growing up. I won't say why.. but as much as I try to be independent, I'm always going to have to rely on someone. I've never gotten along with my father emotionally, and he'd never want to hang out etc anyways before my parents split. It was always just my mum, sister, brother and I. My sister has always been my best friend, I really don't deserve her. My mum's not really an example for me, she's more of a friend... while I do love her, I just wish she'd be a better person to look up to. My sister is more like a mom than her.. sadly. My brother is very withdrawn from me... I've never been close to him. He's the baby in the family and I've always resented on how spoiled and vain he had became.

We were really close until we started getting older.. my sister met a guy and they've been together forever.. they aren't prepared yet, but they want to marry and move out etc.

Fast Forward and I end up in a serious relationship... my family and him hate each other, so you can say I don't see them often I've met his family however I can only say I'm close to his mum.

I think family is important, but once you meet someone, you drift apart to make your own family.

 

[Harlequin]

I get on with everyone in my family. There's history and every family fights but no matter how fucked up some situations get you have to be prepared to take that adversity in your stride, deal with the problem asap to avoid being passive aggressive (the relationship killer!) and forgive without being vengeful. I think everyone in my extended family gets on with me because I say exactly what I think, argue honestly and deal with it then brush it off like it didn't happen. It's important to protect yourself in every situation with family, if you neglect your own interests with family you'll end up being resentful. One day I'll start my own family but for now I'll appreciate the time I still have with this one.