Christmas Jokes!

[Dionysos]

Final Fantasy Forums – Christmas Jokes!​

Many a joke has been told during the Christmas period. Some are good; most are bad. Anyone familiar with Christmas crackers shall know of jokes so cringe-inducing that they become entertaining.

Here is your chance to create your very own Final Fantasy themed Christmas joke!

Please consider:

1. You can freely choose the structure and style of your joke.
2. They must be Final Fantasy themed.
3. They do not need to be Christmas themed – but it would be nice to have some Christmas themed jokes too.

You can post your jokes in this thread, and you can post as many jokes as you want.

Each participant will gain 1 CT for entering the contest. Any additional joke will not grant the same participant any further CT but may increase the chances of a good joke being told and winning the competition.

The jokes which receive the most Forum ‘likes’ and appear to be the most popular may be selected for a final round of voting to determine the ultimate cracker of a joke.

The voting round shall start on Sunday 18[SUP]th[/SUP] December.

The winner will receive a Santa Hat, 5 CT and 5 GP.


You can start telling your jokes now!

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

 

[Mitsuki]

Can we use images, gifs, or use MS Paint to go along with the joke?

 

[Dionysos]

You can if you wish!

So long as a joke is told and it is the joke itself which is the most important thing then I see no reason for restrictions.

 

[Soulcorruptor]

Can they be so cringeworthy and bad taste form that they might be found in a cards against humanity game?

 

[Dionysos]

Soulcorruptor Cringeworthy jokes are fine. Just construct a joke as you please and post them here.

 

[Mitsuki]

Okay okay I got one, I got one!

Someone at work was making 'why did the chicken cross the road' jokes last night and it just stuck on me.

Mi'ihen Highroad leads to Mushroom Rock Road (according to wiki). So there's my joke...if it makes sense! Mushrooms referring to uh magic mushrooms producing hallucinogen effects (similar to LSD). Added mistletoes for Christmas theme, but I guess it sorta works...in a cringe-worthy way?! Lol I don't know...

(Final Fantasy and Christmas theme is pretty hard, Dan).

Someone else better enter. Joke's on me if I win by default.

 

[Soulcorruptor]

Warning disclaimer, are you reading this? You are entering bad comedy fail zone so read beyond this at your own discretion. The jokes below may be such bad taste that you will be left dumbfounded at how stupid they are. So again with this all mentioned read below at your own peril with more horrible fail to come later.







What did Aerith and the Virgin Mary have in common? They both died Virgins.

Zidane once said no Cloud or Squall could stop him. Guess he forgot to mention a Typhon could sneeze him away.

 

[Dionysos]

We have another week until the deadline, but if there aren't many jokes then we might have to skip the voting part and extend the deadline...

I've seen some good jokes in other threads and in the SB, so I know people have been warming up.

Remember that you can post as many as you like in here. You are not limited to one joke per person. Keep posting as they come and let the 'likes' determine whether they make it to voting or not.

 

[Linnaete]

There was once a pom-pous Moogle who studied the stars. He discovered that the planet revolves around its star and that everything in the world revolves around Kupo Nuts. His name? Kuponicus.


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[I may or may not have nicked this one from somewhere]

One evening in the Quicksand tavern in Ul'dah, a Miqo'te, an Elezen and a Hyur have had a few to drink. The ale is strong and the week has been a drag. For some reason, they decide to engage in a discussion on the topic of birth control.

The Hyur, who is a proud White Mage, happily declares that she casts Protect. It's very cheap, doesn't cost much and always provides that useful bit of mitigation. She tried using Stoneskin once, but her boyfriend didn't exactly respond in the most appreciative way as you can probably imagine.

The Elezen states that her family runs an Ishgardian apothecary in the Jewelled Crozier. They have a wide catalogue of potions and tonics. She often spikes her hubby's drink before sex with silencing potions so he wouldn't be able to properly cast his spell at the critical moment. She also makes it a ritual habit of taking a tincture of antidote on a daily basis. All of which are designed to minimalise the risk of pregnancy.

Her two friends are impressed and quickly make a note of this strange and unorthodox Ishgardian method on their napkins. The Elezen then asks the Miqo'te what her preferred method is. The Miqo'te's ears twitch excitedly and she proudly declares "I use the stool method!"

The Hyur and the Elezen look puzzled. "What is the stool method?"

"Oh, I'm married to a Lalafell" replies the Miqo'te, "whenever he's about to finish, I just kick the stool out from under him!"

 

[Martel]

I'll submit an alliterative oxymoron for my entry:

Christmas cheer.

 

[Dionysos]

"Doctor, Doctor! I'm paranoid that moogles are after me!"

"You must be nuts."


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About half a week until the official deadline (although it might have to be extended). Any other joke ideas?