In the next... 2 hours I will be breaking up with my current girlfriend. Should be fun. I prophesize a pool of tears that makes the atlantic ocean look like the sahara by comparison. By now, I've dated and dumped enough women to have figured out some of the cardinal rules of "dumping" but I wouldn't mind imput on a few more. Here's what I *think* I've figured out so far:
Rule #1: Always Dump Her in Her Environment
-If you're going to break up with a girl, it could be brutal on her. Don't dump her someplace where she's miles away from her best friends and/or family. If you're going to do the deed, do it someplace where she can find comfort quickly. She'll need it.
Rule #2: Don't Be a Bastard
-This rule has a couple of parts to it. If you're going to break up with her, you probably have your reasons. There's no need to pile on the insults on negative comments when you're already doing something that will hurt her. Don't add insult to injury. The second part is the first parts counterpoint. Never break up with a girl without giving a sufficient reason. Not only does that lead to clingie ex's but it also allows the girl to question what it was about her that you didn't like. And when girls question themselves and search for flaws, even if they don't actually exist, women can be devistated by what they found... or at least think they found.
Rule #3: Decide Ahead of Time
-Don't play games. If you're going to break up, break up. Don't do the "i think... well maybe... ok yea" and then give her a call in a week asking for her to take you back. If you're going to do it, be sure you want to do it. If you play the "maybe" game, you'll just end up hating each other and giving one another major trust issues.
Rule #4: Don't Build Her Up, Just to Shoot Her Down
-A lot of men think it is the "right move" to take a girl out to dinner before you let them go. I disagree. Don't buy gifts. Don't take her out. The $10 gift or the $20 meal isn't going to be enough to cushion the blow you're about to deal. All you're going to end up doing is building her up into a romantic state of mind, just to kick her when she falls. Be a straightshooter. Tell her right up. Cut out the bullshit.
Rule #5: Look Into The Horizon but Not Into The Sun
-It's one thing if you know your relationship's days are numbered and you start looking for that next potencial girl. It's a completely different thing to cheat on your current girlfriend with the potencial girl, even if you know you're breaking up with the current one anyway. You haven't broken up. Be patient. You can set up the next relationship but don't act until you're out of the last one.
Rule #6: Spend the Time
-This one ties into Rule #1. If you break up with her, there is a million things that are going to be rushing through her head. Most of these were covered in previous rules. If she wants to get away from you, let her go. If she wants to talk, don't brush her off. Breaking up isn't neccessarily a two minute ordeal. I'm planning on breaking up with my girlfriend tonight around 5 EST but I know that it might consume the rest of my evening. Spent the time to make sure she's alright. You cared enough about her to date her in the first place, care about her enough now to make sure she's alright with it being over.
Rule #7: One For The Guys
-Like I said before, make sure she knows its over. Make sure you make your intentions clear. However, the majority of women want a "last time". At least in my experience they do. Maybe I'm just good.
It's a matter of comfort. It's a matter of closure. Sex is not everything but it means the beginning of a serious relationship to a lot of women. It also seems to mean the end. Don't push her but certainly don't forget to ask her.
Rule #8: Don't Take Advantage
-This rule is a follow-up to #7. Sometimes women want that "last time", not because they want closure but because they think they can coherce you into not dumping them. If they think it's neccessary, it's probably because they've sensed you've already made up your mind. I've had women offer every form of sex and pleasure imaginable to keep the relationship going. Turning down that offer for a threesome was tough... but stay strong men. Stay strong. Be honorable. Don't take advantage of them, even if they offer you the world. Or... a threesome with their hot blonde best friend who wears a C cup and has an intoxicating laugh... where was I? Somewhere... I don't recall...
REMEMBER THESE RULES! REMEMBER THEM WELL! REMEMBER THE TITANS! STEAM ROXORS THE BIG ONE111!
Rule #1: Always Dump Her in Her Environment
-If you're going to break up with a girl, it could be brutal on her. Don't dump her someplace where she's miles away from her best friends and/or family. If you're going to do the deed, do it someplace where she can find comfort quickly. She'll need it.
Rule #2: Don't Be a Bastard
-This rule has a couple of parts to it. If you're going to break up with her, you probably have your reasons. There's no need to pile on the insults on negative comments when you're already doing something that will hurt her. Don't add insult to injury. The second part is the first parts counterpoint. Never break up with a girl without giving a sufficient reason. Not only does that lead to clingie ex's but it also allows the girl to question what it was about her that you didn't like. And when girls question themselves and search for flaws, even if they don't actually exist, women can be devistated by what they found... or at least think they found.
Rule #3: Decide Ahead of Time
-Don't play games. If you're going to break up, break up. Don't do the "i think... well maybe... ok yea" and then give her a call in a week asking for her to take you back. If you're going to do it, be sure you want to do it. If you play the "maybe" game, you'll just end up hating each other and giving one another major trust issues.
Rule #4: Don't Build Her Up, Just to Shoot Her Down
-A lot of men think it is the "right move" to take a girl out to dinner before you let them go. I disagree. Don't buy gifts. Don't take her out. The $10 gift or the $20 meal isn't going to be enough to cushion the blow you're about to deal. All you're going to end up doing is building her up into a romantic state of mind, just to kick her when she falls. Be a straightshooter. Tell her right up. Cut out the bullshit.
Rule #5: Look Into The Horizon but Not Into The Sun
-It's one thing if you know your relationship's days are numbered and you start looking for that next potencial girl. It's a completely different thing to cheat on your current girlfriend with the potencial girl, even if you know you're breaking up with the current one anyway. You haven't broken up. Be patient. You can set up the next relationship but don't act until you're out of the last one.
Rule #6: Spend the Time
-This one ties into Rule #1. If you break up with her, there is a million things that are going to be rushing through her head. Most of these were covered in previous rules. If she wants to get away from you, let her go. If she wants to talk, don't brush her off. Breaking up isn't neccessarily a two minute ordeal. I'm planning on breaking up with my girlfriend tonight around 5 EST but I know that it might consume the rest of my evening. Spent the time to make sure she's alright. You cared enough about her to date her in the first place, care about her enough now to make sure she's alright with it being over.
Rule #7: One For The Guys
-Like I said before, make sure she knows its over. Make sure you make your intentions clear. However, the majority of women want a "last time". At least in my experience they do. Maybe I'm just good.
It's a matter of comfort. It's a matter of closure. Sex is not everything but it means the beginning of a serious relationship to a lot of women. It also seems to mean the end. Don't push her but certainly don't forget to ask her. Rule #8: Don't Take Advantage
-This rule is a follow-up to #7. Sometimes women want that "last time", not because they want closure but because they think they can coherce you into not dumping them. If they think it's neccessary, it's probably because they've sensed you've already made up your mind. I've had women offer every form of sex and pleasure imaginable to keep the relationship going. Turning down that offer for a threesome was tough... but stay strong men. Stay strong. Be honorable. Don't take advantage of them, even if they offer you the world. Or... a threesome with their hot blonde best friend who wears a C cup and has an intoxicating laugh... where was I? Somewhere... I don't recall...
REMEMBER THESE RULES! REMEMBER THEM WELL! REMEMBER THE TITANS! STEAM ROXORS THE BIG ONE111!
in my case it was more a verbal "being clear" issue than the sex thing, but from what Aztec Triogal posted, i think he seems to have his act together and he probably won't have any major issues or problems, at least i hope.
That's just me, of course. 
I felt sad, of course...but I didn't wanna stay in the relationship anymore and figured I shouldn't lead him on.
