Serious Births and marriages

[SapphireStar]

What the hell is going on???!!?

Nearly every person I know has either gotten married or is having kids!! Fracks sake, I cant hold onto a decent relationship, yet friends are walking down aisles or popping out babies!!

Im clearly doing something wrong rofl

But man, has it suddnely become so important to find someone, get married and have kids?? If so, Im f***ed :notfunny:

 

[Dionysos]

Yeah I know that some people in my age group that I knew have kids and are married. Freaks me out a bit...
My closest friends haven't though, so I'm not freaked like that. I'd probably feel really weird if one of the close friends of mine suddenly became married or suddenly spawned a baby.

Good for them if they are living their lives and having a great time etc.. It just makes you question things a bit, at how some people have their lives planned out / set on a path etc.

And why is this in Spam? It's a serious issue!

 

[Dee]

The same thing is happening to me and I'm only 24. I'm not really worried about it since I could frankly care less about what other people are doing. I'm perfectly happy being single. In fact, I much prefer it. I can't see myself having a child any time soon either and I hope to God I don't. xD

I guess it all just depends on what the individual wants. Just don't try to compare yourself to your friends.

 

[SapphireStar]

well y cant u hold a bf and for how long can u do it

If I knew that, I wouldnt be asking that question would I? And type English please.


The link is always wimpy guy, tough guy, wimpy guy and last bf was yeap, tough guy. Just an odd pattern I have.

Im almost 25 and Im a pain when it comes to comparing myself to others. My mum has told me countless times not to do it, but its a bad habit. I dont mind being single, but its the whole "This time last year" bollocks going through my head

 

[Kandy-Sugar]

[Moved to the Temple of the Ancients]

I think that this is too serious to be lost in Spam. XD

Anyway, I know exactly how you feel. I've been wanting to get married at least within the next couple of years but I can't see it happening. XD Though I do have the man, so that's a start. =P

A lot of people I know, but I'm not exactly really close with, are off popping out kids whilst their boyfriend slaves away at work.

Seriously, they don't seem all that happy either.

I just think, 'why didn't you decide to buy condoms this week?' 'Why did you not bother to get a new prescription for the pill?'

I never do anything unless I am sure that I'm protected in EVERY way.

Anyway that's getting off topic a bit.

From what I've seen, the only reason the couples I know even get married is because of their kids. They don't want to have bastard children.

And most of the time the girl is pressuring the boyfriend into getting married.

My old friend had only been with her boyfriend for eight months and didn't even like him, yet she pressured him into proposing to her.

She pretty much threatened him, saying that she would leave him if he didn't propose. WTF? She clearly has no brains. She has yet to realise that once you get married, you are bound to that person unless you get a divorce.

I've been with Steve for two and a half years and don't feel anywhere near that insecure that I have to force him into marrying me.

But don't worry. You're man will come and find you soon and to be honest, having kids is so not a priority. The only reason I am having them as early as 30 is because I don't want them to have any problems.

 

[blakstang98]

It seems that society demands marriage and children. I'm not totally sure why, but yes, I've noticed this trend too. Most of the people I've graduated with are married already, makes me sort of feel like I'm way behind.

I honestly think that people really have a false misconception of what love is. I mean, the divorce rate is 50% and probably 40% of the marriages that don't end in divorce are very unhappy. I mean, numbers were always like this, but I think people our age now are really clueless about how they really feel about their boyfriend/girlfriend. As a result, they think they're in love and they tie the knot. They then realize that they really don't love this person after they're married. The problem is, ending a relationship and a marriage are very different, and ending a marriage takes a lot more time and effort.

Ahh, now the children topic. It would seem that it is less taboo to have children before marriage these days. I know where I currently live, you always see girls that look like they're teenagers walking around with 2 kids and it's sort of odd to see. I mean, contraception mistakes do happen, but I would doubt it happened this often. It's possible that the expanded use of IUD combined with incorrect installation may be an issue? I really couldn't blame sex. ed. for these issues because they heavily promote the use of condoms. Then again, maybe the youth is just more rebellious now and want to push the limits. It's certainly not a game to push the limits with, but hey, what do I know? Kids are having sex at younger ages these days, so maybe it really is a lack of sex knowledge. But yeah, I see a lot of people my age with kids and I always wonder why they already have kids, sometimes as many as 3. Makes me feel like I'm way behind in life, going on 27 with kids not in my immediate future.

 

[Shu]

This is only to the original poster here. So all the contraception stuff out the window and accidents and what not..

To me to post in this thread seems a bit unfair, but give me a second.

To me I'm effin afraid of the statistics. I have strong commitment issues as far as marriage goes. Why? People get bored of each other, get sick of each others habits, and to be able to love someone past their appearances on a daily basis is a pretty hard thing to do for most people. See everyone is imperfect, but the minor flaws and pet peaves people have... well it carries on to their relationships and people pick up on it. Eating habits, sleeping habits, sexual performance, Listening habits, Memory, skeletons in the closet.. I mean people claim having the church back them will help their Marriage - I think there is a bit more to it.

I'm engaged, but I've been with my lady for 3 1/2 years now, but we act like married people for the most part. We have guys nights/ girls nights apart.. we have grill outs.. we have the whole nine yards - but when around people.. we try to play it down. Here's the god honest truth though, it took 6+ ladies (long term relationships) to actually even think of marriage with 1, and not because of pressure, but because I knew that this one could stand my shiznit. A friend and a lover all in one, we don't claim to be perfect.. but we make it work.

I don't think married or non married.. is a big deal at all. As long as you are happy in life, that doesn't mean you have to be dependent on someone.

Enjoy your life I know plenty of people not even thinking about marriage till 30ish. Kids? If you want them.. go for it.. who cares otherwise. I'm not having a kid for now. Financially I got to look ahead and get the basics down before even thinking about a kid.

I mean I have a good head, and most people say I'm a stand up fella, but a kid is a big effin deal, and marriage in itself is something I never even considered. So one step at a time.. type thing.

Now if you are lonely and such.. I can feel that.. I always hang out with my buds who float from girl to girl on a bi monthly basis. I can tell they are lonely.. but who says that? lol. I don't know.. there's people who want the commitment out there.. but make sure you don't end up with a loser, that's all I can say.

 

[Ayumi Hamasaki]

Hey, there was an episode of Sex and the City that dealt with just this fact.

I can relate, although I'm only 17, because where I live, a lot of people my age are already have kids, and are getting married, too. It scares the crap out of me, because I can't help but wonder if love is really enough in our current world. I know that I could never ever do it at this moment. It's not the commitment that scares me, it's just the idea of doing it at such a young age. I mean, what if the one you marry isn't the right one for you but you don't meet them until later. I think, and hope, that I'll not feel pressured enough to get with a girl, and marry her just because everyone else is, but I don't know, peer pressure is hard.

Children, on the other hand, don't scare me all that much. I want to have children, even now, sometimes, just because I think it'd be nice to have someone who depended on you. If I ever had a child, I would want to raise it and take a part in it's life. I would love it, in short. But I don't think I'm ready for that either.

Of course, in the end, it's scary to watch everyone around you doing something when you haven't found that someone yet, but I think that you have to hold out, and one day that person will come to you.

 

[Dee]

I can relate, although I'm only 17, because where I live, a lot of people my age are already have kids, and are getting married, too.

That's uhhh, kind of scary to hear. You're only 17 and many people your age are having kids and getting married? Wow.





Now that I've gotten over it, I usually compare myself to my mom. She was 21 when she had her first kid, 23 when she had me and 25 when she had my little brother. By the time she was my age, she had two kids already and would be pregnant again in another year and a half. I just cannot fathom that at all.

 

[SapphireStar]

My cousins son recently turned 1 and her sister is due in Jan. Now I love them both so much and even though they are younger then me, I have never seen such better devoted mums. I admire them for whats happened and the guys they are with, theyve known their whole lifes, so Im happy they are being cared for.

Whats upsetting me also, is my mum. She tells me not to compare myself to others, but when shes round them she always sighs and looks at me as if to say "Where are my grandkids!?" Im 24, she was 23 when she had me. Now Im inot in a relationship, so theres the first hurdle for my mum and second, Im not ready to be pregnant. I want to be married and financly secure before I have kids. My brother is getting annoyed he isnt an uncle yet and hes in a serious relationship since he was 14 and is 17 soon.

Theres so much pressure on you to go out, get a mate and have kids!! Im sick of people pestering me, asking why I dont have a guy or a child yet! Piss off, ask the jerks who eventually leave me why I havent got a guy, they hold the fucking answer. And Im not ready fo vomit, changing nappies and screaming kids yet. I dont know if I ever will be either!!

Rant over.

 

[Kandy-Sugar]

I'm surprised your mum wants grandkids? =0

My mum doesn't want grandkids just yet because she thinks it'll make her look older.

And don't worry about them when they think or act like that.

They shouldn't be so harsh when it comes to this kind of thing. It's not easy finding a steady guy and they should at least be grateful that you're smart and want to make sure you're ready for a kid.

So what if your brother wants a nephew or niece, that's his problem and he shouldn't be making you feel like you need to have a kid just so that he can call himself an uncle. You're the one who has to deal with the kid in the end, not him.

I never wanted kids and then I sorta got soft and decided 30 would be when I had my first, but now I just can't see myself having any again.

First you need to make yourself happy by finding a great guy. Don't worry about making anyone else around you happy by popping out a kid before you're ready. That's just selfish of them to make you feel like that.

Sorry if I sound wound up, I just hate it when people are like that! It really makes me angry.