Serious Inferiority Complex

King Sean

King Sean

I am the bone of my sword.....steel is my body and
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This thread is what it says on the tin. I have an inferiority complex. All the guys are better than me and I just don't know what to do. Almost 3/4 of the school guys have great bodies and I am obese, I think. They also seem to have waaaay better luck with the girls than I do and I don't know what to do about it. I have tried working out since last year, but all that helps is make me upper body look bigger, my stomach is still fat, and my thighs are fat, too. I have tried being more social and it helps to a degree.

Maybe I should just stop trying to think about girls and wait till I'm older? But I just can't. I have tried to, but let's be real. I am a High School Senior who has NEVER had a girlfriend. That's just sad. And I just can't change. I can't lose the weight and making jokes and stuff isn't my thing. I just don't know, now.
 
The diet is the main part of a workout. If you're eating the wrong foods your body won't turn out the way you want it to. Eating vegetables and cutting down on red meat helps put you back into shape and cut down on the fat. Doing exercise is a given but it's certainly secondary to diet.

Take it easy with the ladies, the more you let it bother you the more it'll come through when you talk to them. I suppose a good way of training out that inferiority complex is by talking to girls you're not attracted to and guys who you don't particularly care about what they think. It'll give you experience if anything and when you're relaxed you're less likely to say/do the wrong thing and feel like a mug about it.
 
If you want to lose weight, then weight training isn't really the best thing to do. Especially if it's the anaerobic kind that you seem to be doing. Try lifting lighter weights w/ greater reps and do some running or swimming. Maybe even get a trainer? A benefit of losing weight (besides the fact of actually losing weight) is you'll be happier with yourself -> more confidence will be projected. The problem with feeling inferior is that this inferiority is shown through your body language, and girls naturally dig the confident alpha guys.

Naturally there's more you can do than just losing weight, but that seems like a big focus of your "inferiority" at this point. Develop a better workout regime, stick to it for the long-run, then you'll surely see some results.
 
The real change is from within, its all about self confidence.
Yes working out is a great thing but in your case you should do cardio/jogging etc. and dont eat too much junk food. I have a belly myself, bit of beer belly but for me personally I dont bother with it..

I havent had a girlfriend myself for so long, cuz I always screw up with some stupid way...so I know how you feel.

But I do know since I got a job im more social and happier with myself. I learned myself never to look at others, they dont live my life..I LIVE MY LIFE.. you know what I mean.

You should accept yourself bro/ trust me in this case I know what im talking about.

Yes might sound easier then done, but eventually I hope you wil realise this..

This is all I have to say based on my experiences.

Thank God you still young man . Respect man for opening up on the internet. Its something really hard to do.
 
Shiki Nanaya said:
Maybe I should just stop trying to think about girls and wait till I'm older? But I just can't. I have tried to, but let's be real. I am a High School Senior who has NEVER had a girlfriend. That's just sad. And I just can't change. I can't lose the weight and making jokes and stuff isn't my thing. I just don't know, now.
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i told you not to be sad when she did something stupid, but i guess that didn't help :monster:

high school girls are shallow and stupid. they've been mesmerized by the media, romance movies, fashion magazines, and are therefore too stupid to make decisions for themselves.

they're like all these kids in world of warcraft who can't take five minutes to step back and put together some kind of thought process together, they need a guide and they need someone to make a guide for them, or they can't play the game.

what difference does a body shape make to them, besides being picture perfect?

It does not matter what you do, stupidity is an incurable condition.

but you know what

im almost a 21 year old guy who's never had a girlfriend because all bitches my age in this general area should be slow roasted over a fire for being massive cunts.
 
L said:
high school girls are shallow and stupid. they've been mesmerized by the media, romance movies, fashion magazines, and are therefore too stupid to make decisions for themselves.
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I think it's unfair to say that just about them I'd say that's the vast majority of people in general. Some girls have to be bitches because guys are so fucking insistant. It's more of a defense mechanism with most of them than a genuine character trait.
 
Harlequin said:
I think it's unfair to say that just about them
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I don't.

Do you know how crushing it is for someone you like to look at you like you have some kind of fucking disease? To say yes, mean no, and talk shit about you behind your back? Shamelessly taunt you by showing affection to another guy? For them to think you are so fucking stupid and fragile or insignificant that you can't handle or be graced with a simple "sorry, i'm not interested"? To actually have to annoy the fuck out of her friends so they'll give you something noteworthy because she really thinks she can just ditch you like some fucking lost puppy and get away with it?

I've had chicks crush on me, but I've at least had the decency to dignify them with a date or answer.

And no, I'm not saying it's just limited to women and applies to every single last girl, guys can be like that too. I am just focusing on the issue of the OP's problem, I don't think that hes worried about any guys rejecting him.

But yes, worry about women later. beat off, play video games, graduate from school so you can get a good job easily. there's too much shit to distract kids nowdays from graduation.
 
L said:
But yes, worry about women later. beat off, play video games, graduate from school so you can get a good job easily. there's too much shit to distract kids nowdays from graduation.
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I disagree with this. Girls are a big part of a guy's life when growing up. I actually am a bit regretful that I didn't do more to actually have fun and focused a bit too much on academics in highschool. I had a couple gfs in hs, and dating and relationships seemed to be a lot more enjoyable during those times than now. I'm still at a university, but there's additional things I have to worry about with summer employment, student debt, courses being more difficult, and a plethora of other considerations. In highschool all you really worry about is...jack shit. Don't tank you classes or anything, but getting decent grades isn't time consuming so you can enjoy your hs life while it's there.

Also, I actually think hs girls are a lot easier to read than college girls. If you think it's hard to determine what hs girls are thinking....you're in for a rude awakening. As an added tip, don't really take what a girl says at face value, you've got to learn to read her body language. Then it's game on.
 
i've been through this, here's advice coming from my experience:

1) workout to be healthy. the looking good part is just a bonus.
2) accept that you are not like the other guys and know that they have a plethora of their own problems, as they are also human.
3) eat a healthier diet
4) study some basic sociology and anthropology, it will put your view in perspective
5) remember that girls are human too and have a plethora of their own problems. telling a girl that she's attractive will give her a huge confidence boost, no matter who it is. treat them as humans and show empathy and compassion, you'll net yourself a group of female friends quite fast.

i can't help you with dating - i have a rather cynical view of today's methods of mate selection. i'd say go traditional and date before you mate.
 
You have to use your negative feeling as your motivation, look at how you feel now you feel like shit you look like shit so you think you are shit.............thats a general assumption there nothing personal.

But take note any way and you will recognize these feelings of inadequacy to be the lowest point of your life, Ascend out this time by selectively scrutinizing how you became this way? are you lazy and scoff down eats after eats? or are you just blessed with bad genetics, you can only work with what you have and if it is genetic you need to find out
where your weakness lies.

Are you just a little bit over you ideal weight? or pushing maximum density(obesity)?
If you are a little bit over then thats where its gets easy being young and coming into the prime of your life you can use the naturally high metabolism to your advantage
and burn of the excess fat in no time, but you have to hit your preferred style of workout every day!

And be selective when toning your body, dont tone your strengths work on your weaknesses and build a balanced body to work with. Is the best advice I can give with out knowing your lifestyle or habits.

1 quick tip though...............to gain a stronger stomach do this: stand up straight, Hold your breath 3 times holding each breath as long you can while at the same time CLENCHING your abdominal cavity tight with all your strength, this will build your strength in that area by causing Lactic acid build up and that will cause the muscle to contract and work it both burns a little bit of FAT and builds the muscle wall of the lower back and front/side ABS. Dont over do it though like hold you breath till you faint lol

Part2

Dude every guy wants to have GF youd be nuts if you didnt..........or gay, but that sot the case here..........Its cliched but L had it right a little bit, some chicks are shallow and conceited:STAY THE FUCK AWAY from these types they can only harm a guy a like you describe yourself to be.

Im lucky I found a little hottie who is very much like myself........and she is great!
But in between that time I didnt have a GF for 5 years dude! If you want to be have a GF you may be surprised to find they dont really care about the shape of your body(unless your are like.........IDK........fucking huge) and will like you for your mind or that you care about them or some other soppy shit?

The point is you need to use these feelings and physical faults to your advantage!
You can trust me and OJ were the best guys in the world son lol.
 
All this positive advice and the only thing I can tell you is just do what I did: Learn not to care. It's easy, all you have to do is focus on something else. I.E., music, art, reading, history. You'll find over time that there's more to life than just shallow wants and desires. You'll feel more whole and you'll be wiser for it too.

But I guess I could give alternative advice. Like it was said earlier, don't work out to impress others. I can relate to having a body that you're not satisfied with. But, don't buy into this commercial bullshit and these T.V shows that have good looking guys with nice bodies always getting women. You can look horrible and still find someone to be with. You don't have to be Brad Pitt. Now, as far as the girl thing goes, just be friendly. Show all your good traits. If you're worried about hiding all the negative traits then something's bound to show up just because you're thinking about it.

Or, back to my other advice, just focus on other things.
 
I would say not to worry about it too much, but thats just gibberish for people still in high school. Trust me, I know lol. But I'm telling you, when you get out of that scene and and get a few more years ahead, you'll find out that looks are hardly the case when it comes to girls. What it comes down to is personality and ambition. The more you got going for you, the less you have to worry about shallow traits. Hell, there's more woman than men on this planet. It'll come.. it's a mathematical fact. Nobody lives an entire lifetime without at least several relationships/marriages.
You're not inferior. That's all in the mind bro.
 
I know there really isn't anything that anyone can do or say that's really going to make you feel better about it in the long run, because you have to feel better about yourself first. My question to you is what do you really want? You want a great body? You want to be better with the girls? Well those are both somethings that you can do, you just have to set your mind for it and really work hard at it. Nothing big like this is easy, and it takes a lot of time, but if it is really what you want then there is no reason why you can't do it.

If you want to start with trying to get a great body, well a few had said it, but you can't do it on exercise alone. You really have to watch your diet, what goes in and when it goes in. Yup, it is also very important to eat during certain times of the day and never before bed. Breakfast is the most important meal. Everyone says it and it's true. Breakfast is a major way to get your metabolism going. Just make sure for breakfast to eat more protein and fiber.

Your other meals of the day should at least contain certain grains, fruits, vegetables. You'd really have to do some research to find which foods that you like are healthy. Lots and lots of water is also very very good for you. Yes none of this sounds very happy, but if it starts working, wouldn't it make it all worth it.

Now with girls, that you already have the capability to do yourself, you just either need confidence or a push. Any simple conversation will do, just be friendly and it sounds cliche but be yourself. However you are most comfortable with your friends, or with close family, you need to be like that around girls. People can tell when you aren't comfortable when speaking to them, and doesn't show strength and really throws people off at your approach towards them.

It's not sad that you're a senior and has never had a girlfriend. I didn't have my first boyfriend until my second year in college. My friends always made jokes about me wanting to be single which was true, but I wasn't too bothered by it. I knew I'd find the right person in time.

You can change. You can't do it overnight, and you can't do it alone, but if you find that support that you need, and are willing to work hard on it, you just have to keep trying
 
it's also like I said. stupid people are mesmirized

they don't know what's sexy, so society decides what's sexy for them. It takes a while for stupid people to rid themselves of their condition.

some day she will realize a guy who can provide for and support her is more important than some deadbeat faggot with nothing going for them.

i'll be honest, the only reason I don't try to date older women in their mind 20's or early 30's is because I don't drive my own car and I'm not old enough to make all of my own decisions.

living with mom and having her drive you everywhere is pretty gay.
 
To be honest, you're the only one putting yourself on a grading scale. If you think someone is better then you, they probably are. You focus way too much on others' thoughts of you and less of your own.

Just because someone has a six pack, doesn't make them better than you. But I will say most girls don't wanna date a guy with a gut that hangs down to their toes either. Be fair, would you date a girl who had a nice fat gut? Chances are, no. So let's put that in a ladies perspective too then.

As far as personality goes, there's no 'How To' book on how to be funnier. You have to stop putting girls on a pedestal and treat them just like anyone else. I know most girls are just as shy to approach someone as you are. Some people may call bullshit. But most of my chick friends I had to start conversations with in the beginning because they wouldn't talk otherwise.

I think most guys who are so desperate for a girlfriend tend to look at ANY girl who they see as a potential girlfriend. Which is just... fuckin stupid. Someone you don't even know, and you wanna date them... really? Get to be friends with someone before you try the whole "let's get married" stuff.

But in the end, you have to stop feeling bad for yourself. Not to sound like a dick, but self loathing is pathetic and gets you no where. If you really wanna change your life, make it happen then. I know all too well about that.

So my advice, worry less about girls, worry more about yourself. If you don't know where to start on a diet, PM me and I'll give you a head start. I've been studying sports nutrition for about 6 years or so. And as far as a work out, you'll see more results doing cardiovascular workouts than weight lifting for losing weight. Go buy an elliptical and use it 20-30 minutes a day, 6 days a week. You'll shred weight, guaranteed. If you wanna build muscle have a nice body, go buy p90x. Tony Horton is an awesome personal trainer, and most people I know that have used this, swear by it.

And by the way, lactic acid won't burn muscle. If there was any truth in that, I could build muscle from just stretching alone. The only way to burn muscle is to work said muscle, which lactic acid can not do. I have bigger muscles than most, and I take beta alanine, an amino acid which helps deplete lactic acid build up inside of your body.
 
As Ricky Nelson once said : "You can't please everyone so you gotta please yourself."

It's not just working out, you also have to change your diet.

Of course you should also go to a doctor and get your thyroid level tested to make sure your metabolism is working properly.

As for girls..welcome to the club.I was a lot like you back in the day.I thought I would never find someone but I did eventually and you can to if you are persistent.

But first you need to get yourself in shape, not just physically but mentally. Don't be dependent on what others think about you.If they don't like you then forget them.
Find ways to feel good about yourself, not just your appearance but your accomplishments and achievements and work on the rest.

Good luck.
 
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