Slut

[Catnip]

Slut, whore, skank, and the list goes on.

When I'm being immature or just not showing any sort of proper articulacy, I use these words. Not only to attack women, but also men who are promiscuous as well. But I've been really ignorant to what these words actually mean and how they affect others.

They may not be words used for women and women only to me, but it's definitely a different story when it comes to most everyone else.

These words were created to shame women who are sexually active. In my opinion, they need to go.

What are your opinions --any at all-- on words like this?

 

[Sullivan0930]

well we need someway to call out these dirty girls. i guess we can make up something new, or go with the indian saying. "she who wakes up with different man."

 

[Catnip]

well we need someway to call out these dirty girls. i guess we can make up something new, or go with the indian saying. "she who wakes up with different man."

You're missing the point. These are misogynist words and they live in the divider that separates men and women and how they're treated.

Just what is a "dirty girl"? If you're going to throw me the useless answer of "a female who enjoys sex" then what on earth would that make men?

 

[Channizard]

I think the words are really shameful. =/ Because sometimes people will call a girl a slut because she sleeps around. What if she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now? What if she just wants to have fun? Maybe she just likes having a lot of sex with different people. Maybe the guys she sleeps with all suck and she's trying to find a good lay. There are ALOT of factors to take in when considering it, but as long as people are responsible and being safe when it comes to promiscuous sex, there's no problem with it.

The words definitely need to go. They're utter trash.

 

[Sullivan0930]

You're missing the point. These are misogynist words and they live in the divider that separates men and women and how they're treated.

Just what is a "dirty girl"? If you're going to throw me the useless answer of "a female who enjoys sex" then what on earth would that make men?

women who enjoy sex are not sluts, there freaks. women who sleep with a different man every night are a slut, if your having sex with the same partner every night then thats fine. a guy that sleeps with a different girl every night is a legen...err i mean man whore.

 

[Catnip]

I think the words are really shameful. =/ Because sometimes people will call a girl a slut because she sleeps around. What if she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now? What if she just wants to have fun? Maybe she just likes having a lot of sex with different people. Maybe the guys she sleeps with all suck and she's trying to find a good lay. There are ALOT of factors to take in when considering it, but as long as people are responsible and being safe when it comes to promiscuous sex, there's no problem with it.

The words definitely need to go. They're utter trash.

This. So much. Thank you.

And when men sleep around, they're simply just men and that's that.

It really shows how ignorant and completely unaware someone can be when they use these words. I know I was, but I've quickly enlightened myself once the realization hit me.

 

[Madaraki]

To be perfectly honest; I refer to guys who boast of their sexcapades as whores and sluts as well. I get that the words are more often than not applied to women, but I see no reason why they shouldn't be applied to both genders.

These words were created to shame women who are sexually active.

If I may amend that slightly in my view; I've seen the words used not to shame women who are sexually active, but to shame women who are sexually active with more than one person.

I will say that I agree there's an inequality in that though. If you're a woman and you have sex with a ton of guys; you're a slut. If you're a man and you have sex with a ton of women, apparently you're a stud.

(To be perfectly honest I think anyone who sleeps around with more than one person like that is just hurting their chances at a more meaningful and stable relationship later on in life.)

 

[Catnip]

women who enjoy sex are not sluts, there freaks. women who sleep with a different man every night are a slut, if your having sex with the same partner every night then thats fine. a guy that sleeps with a different girl every night is a legen...err i mean man whore.

But why are these words even necessary? Humans have natural urges and society has created ways to make put those urges to fun use. If a man wants to sleep with 10 women in a day, then fine. If a woman wants to sleep with 10 men in a day, then fine. Why does it bother you so much to the point where you feel you need to name call?

 

[CassinoChips]

Words are just words. The context and how/when they are used is what needs to change. The first thing a lot of girls throw out when confronted with a girl they don't like is "she's such a slut/skank/etc.," regardless of what they know about that person's promiscuity. All that serves to do is further the misogynistic stereotype that any sort of promiscuity from a woman is a negative personality trait. Along the same lines, a person sees a girl/woman who is dressed somewhat provocatively and says "she looks like a slut." Really? Because I've known some office-type workers who wear pantsuits every day who really like to have sex. Often.

So yeah. The words themselves aren't the problem. It's how we use them.

 

[DeadFantasy]

I personally don't use them by choice-- but, I mean people are going to keep talking you know? I just don't think there will ever be a stop to that.

words are words to be honest. I mean, just blow them off is what I say.

"bricks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."

 

[Madaraki]

But why are these words even necessary? Humans have natural urges and society has created ways to make put those urges to fun use. If a man wants to sleep with 10 women in a day, then fine. If a woman wants to sleep with 10 men in a day, then fine. Why does it bother you so much to the point where you feel you need to name call?

See: Hurting chances of a meaningful relationship later in life. I know sex isn't everything, but when one sleeps around a bit too much, the experience is devalued.

Now technically what two people do in a bedroom (or car, or woods) isn't any of my business, but if people are going to brag/talk about it to others themselves, they're asking for attention. Could one just not answer? Yes. Still, if that person wants an honest opinion then they can have an earful.

 

[Catnip]

I personally don't use them by choice-- but, I mean people are going to keep talking you know? I just don't think there will ever be a stop to that.

words are words to be honest. I mean, just blow them off is what I say.

"bricks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."

That's bullshit. I'd rather be punched in the face than hear stabbing words. That saying is so ignorant and just completely stupid altogether.

And I disagree that there will never be a stop. If enough people speak up, then others will be more aware of what these words are doing to people and some may even gain an automatic urge to keep quiet when said words come to mind.

 

[Six]

women who enjoy sex are not sluts, there freaks.

Whatever, dude.

-

I am with Channy on this one. It's a shameful word. Though I suppose a slut would be one of those "players" in my eyes. Sleep around and talk behind backs, shameful word, shameful situation if you ask me. It's just a retarded thing to do.

If you're not looking for a long-term relationship, that's fine, but even people that aren't looking for a relationship don't necessarily need to be acting like trash bags, if you're acting like one, I suppose it'd be considered a slut, and called for at that I think.

-

I'd rather be punched in the face than hear stabbing words.

Amen to that.

 

[Rasputin]

This is an unfortunate reality we live in where it is considered socially unacceptable for women to be sexually promiscuous while for men it is both encouraged and accepted as a trait social prowess. I don't like the terms. Many feminists hate them too. They call this double standard "slut shaming" and there are some extremely strong arguments in favor of acknowledging that many women want open sexual relationships just as much as men. I really wish women were not horribly bashed by conservatives all over the world for choosing to enjoy sex on their own terms, but unfortunately this is not the society we live in. In a nutshell, women they have to deal with three major stereotypes:

1. Women aught to be courted by men, not the other way around. Women who go after men themselves are either trashy or desperate.

2. Women who expose themselves sexually are asking to get raped.

3. Female virgins are somehow "pure" and more socially desirable than women who have sexual experience.

Finally, both genders must contend with the religious and conservative delusion that marriages are supposed to be eternal and that abstinence until then is the ONLY MEANS of having a successful relationship.

In conclusion: The patriarchy sucks, and men that discourage women from having as much sex as they want are absolute douchebags. I should mention though that women seem just as keen as men on ridiculing and demeaning other women who decide to show cleavage in public or dress in ways that society considers "provocative". In other words, this is not just a male problem.

 

[Catnip]

See: Hurting chances of a meaningful relationship later in life. I know sex isn't everything, but when one sleeps around a bit too much, the experience is devalued.

Now technically what two people do in a bedroom (or car, or woods) isn't any of my business, but if people are going to brag/talk about it to others themselves, they're asking for attention. Could one just not answer? Yes. Still, if that person wants an honest opinion then they can have an earful.

And what if that person doesn't care much for a relationship? I know many people who aren't interested in the idea of possibly getting hurt, or even staying committed, so they sleep around without caring about destroying any chances at any real relationship.

 

[Sullivan0930]

That's bullshit. I'd rather be punched in the face than hear stabbing words. That saying is so ignorant and just completely stupid altogether.

And I disagree that there will never be a stop. If enough people speak up, then others will be more aware of what these words are doing to people and some may even gain an automatic urge to keep quiet when said words come to mind.

if you try to stop a word then more attention will be drawn to it and then will probably be used even more. offensive words are words that will never go away. what someone calls you is just there opinion, what you broadcast and prove is all that matters.

 

[Donald Trump]

This thread is pointless.
Men's domination of women etc etc.
Poor women how bad for them etc etc.
That's all the OP wants.
Sexual politics and Gender politics are so dull.
And more often as not it's women who call other women sluts.

 

[Catnip]

This is an unfortunate reality we live in where it is considered socially unacceptable for women to be sexually promiscuous while for men it is both encouraged and accepted as a trait social prowess. I don't like the terms. Many feminists hate them too. They call this double standard "slut shaming" and there are some extremely strong arguments in favor of acknowledging that many women want open sexual relationships just as much as men. I really wish women were not horribly bashed by conservatives all over the world for choosing to enjoy sex on their own terms, but unfortunately this is not the society we live in. In a nutshell, women they have to deal with three major stereotypes:

1. Women aught to be courted by men, not the other way around. Women who go after men themselves are either trashy or desperate.

2. Women who expose themselves sexually are asking to get raped.

3. Female virgins are somehow "pure" and more socially desirable than women who have sexual experience.

Finally, both genders must contend with the religious and conservative delusion that marriages are supposed to be eternal and that abstinence until then is the ONLY MEANS of having a successful relationship.

In conclusion: The patriarchy sucks, and men that discourage women from having as much sex as they want are absolute douchebags. I should mention though that women seem just as keen as men on ridiculing and demeaning other women who decide to show cleavage in public or dress in ways that society considers "provocative". In other words, this is not just a male problem.

Everything I've read here makes perfect sense to me.

Actually, while reading, I've been suddenly reminded of my witnessing women actually encouraging these words. Not in bad ways, but I think that they understand that these words can't simply be erased from the dictionary, so they change the context completely. Almost as if "slut" and "whore" are compliments.

 

[Rasputin]

See: Hurting chances of a meaningful relationship later in life. I know sex isn't everything, but when one sleeps around a bit too much, the experience is devalued.

By this logic, if I'm a competitive poker player, does that mean the experience of playing card games is somehow "devalued" for me? What the hell? What right do you or anyone else have to judge people based on how often they participate in a purely recreational activity between consenting adults? What right does ANYONE have to harass and degrade them based on how they choose their life?

 

[Six]

This thread is pointless.
Men's domination of women etc etc.
Poor women how bad for them etc etc.
That's all the OP wants.
Sexual politics and Gender politics are so dull.
And more often as not it's women who call other women sluts.

I disagree. I honestly don't think it's wanting sympathy. It's just wanting enough respect to be treated as equals, not as sluts or whores, 'cause after all, they're just doing the same thing as the "other party."